V 


THE  LIBRARY 

OF 
THE  UNIVERSITY 

OF  CALIFORNIA 
LOS  ANGELES 


GRAND  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 


THE  UNITED  STATES 


GLIMPSES  OF  HOME  AFTER  THIRTEEN  YEARS 
ABROAD. 


HAFULLER, 

EDITOR    OF    THE    COSMOPOLITAN; 

Author  of  "  Bdle  Brittan's  Letters,"  "  Sparks  from  a,  Locomotive," 

"North  and  South,"  "The  Flag  of  Truce," 

''The  White  Republican  Papers"  in  "  Fraser's  Magazine," 

<6c.  &c.  <kc. 


NEW  YORK: 

G.  W.  Car  let  on  &  Co.,  Publishers. 

LONDON  :  THE  COSMOPOLITAN,  111  STRAND. 
1875- 


E 

14,3 

CONTENTS. 


TRANSFORMATION  SCENES. 


PAGE 

THE  VOYAGE     . 

1 

NEW  YORK 

.             .         6 

POLITICS 

.       13 

FEDERAL  UNION 

.20 

HOTELS 

.27 

BUSINESS 

.       31 

CHANGES 

.37 

THE  PARK 

.       45 

HEALTH 

.       51 

TRUTH                .              <. 

.       58 

MONEY 

.       64 

CONGRESS 

.       71 

DOGS 

.80 

THE  BRANCH  . 

.       88 

THE  COSMOPOLITAN    . 

,             .            '.96 

ELECTRICITY   . 

.105 

GRANT 

.            .             .     Ill 

SARATOGA 

116 

117S536 


vi  CONTENTS. 

PAQB 

BEECHER  .  •'.'  ...  .     *          .      128 

PROVIDENCE  .  .  .  .  .      139 

THE  DRAMA  149 


COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

ENGLAND  AND  THE  UNITED  STATES     .  .  .157 

IP  IT  PLEASES  THEM  .....      167 

THE  POLICY  OP  INSURANCE      .  .  .  .       1 70 

AMERICAN  PRESS  SCANDALS  .  .  .173 

INTERNATIONAL  INHUMANITY  .  .  .177 

ROMANISM  AND  MASONRY         .  .  .  .181 

ENGLISH  GIRLS  IN  LONDON      .  .  .  .188 

THE  MARVELLOUS  COUNTRY     ....      191 

END  OF  THE  PRETENDER  .  ,    -  .  .199 

THE  DEVIL'S  INVENTION  ....      201 

THE  DREAMLAND  OP  THE  PACIFIC        .  .  .      205 

AMERICAN  BONDS  AND  ENGLISH  CONSOLS        .  .211 

STOCK  EXCHANGE  GAMBLERS  .  .  .218 

MONEY,  BRAINS,  AND  MANNERS  .  .  .      223 

THE  BIRD  ......      227 

LIFE  AMONG  THE  MODOCS          .  .  .  .231 

DISPOSAL  OF  DEAD  BODIES      ....      235 

CHURCH  AND  THEATRE  ....      239 

THE  SOLAR  SYSTEM  A  SUCCESS  244 


CONTENTS.  Vll 

PAGB] 
THE  GILDED  AGE  .  .  .  .      247 

LIFE  OF  JOHN  OF  BABNEVELD  .  .251 

INDEPENDENT  JOURNALISM     .  .  .  .  254 

GERMAN  OCTOPUS          .....  257 

PULLMAN  ON  THE  MIDLAND     .  .  '    .  .261 

AMERICAN  CENTENNIAL             .  .    .  .     '  .  268 

EGYPT                  .                .                .  .  .  271 

COSMOPOLITAN  ENTERPRISE    .  '    .'-•'  .  .  274 

A  RIGHTEOUS  VERDICT                .  .  .  .  278 

THE  FUR  COUNTRY       .                .  .  .  .  284 

TALES  OF  THE  STREET                 .  >    .  ''••'•  '  .  289 

LAW  V.  JUSTICE               .....  291 

A  CHALLENGE  TO  JACK  FROST  .  .  .  295 

RETURN  OF  THE  TIDAL  WAVE  .  .  .  298 

GOOD  WISHES                   '                .  .  .3  .  304 

DULCE  DOMUM  309 


THE    VOYAGE. 

ON  the  17th-  day  of  August  1861,  leaning  over 
the  stern-rail  of  the  steamship  Fulton,  I  saw  the 
last  line  of  American  land  sink  below  the  western 
horizon.  On  the  18th  day  of  May  1874,  at  about 
two  o'clock  in  the  afternoon,  peering  from  the 
upper  deck  of  the  steamship  Baltic,  I  saw  the 
same  streak  of  land  re-appear,  after  being  lost  to 
sight  for  nearly  thirteen  years.  Within  this  long 
parenthesis  of  time  many  momentous  things  have 
happened,  and  many  changes  have  taken  place, 
both  in  the  Old  World  and  in  the  New,  to  say 
nothing  of  the  changes  we  ourselves  have  under- 
gone. But  on  these  I  do  not  propose  to  dwell. 
I  commence  this  series  of  Transatlantic  communi- 
cations to  The  Cosmopolitan,  not  so  much  for  the 
purpose  of  reviewing  the  past,  as  for  describing 
the  present  condition,  and,  to  some  extent, 
forecasting  the  future,  of  the  "reconstructed" 
Republic ;  and  having  heard  so  much  from 
Americans  abroad  of  the  marvellous  changes  that 

A 


2  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

have  taken  place  in  most  of  the  cities  of  the 
North,  and  especially  of  the  West,  since  the  War, 
I  was  fully  prepared  to  witness  what  I  have 
deemed  it  no  exaggeration  to  call  "Transformation 
Scenes  "  in  the  United  States.  On  walking  last 
evening  up  Broadway,  from  Chambers  Street  to 
Union  Square,  I  found  the  magic  of  the  "  Trans- 
formation" complete.  This  noble  street,  which 
for  more  than  twenty  years  I  daily  traversed,  in 
all  seasons  and  at  all  times,  did  not  present  one 
familiar  object.  Was  it  a  dream,  or  was  it  a  new 
city?  All  the  old  landmarks  are  gone.  The 
little  shops  have  given  place  to  immense  "stores" 
and  business  palaces ;  while  of  the  few  old 
conservative  mansions  that  for  half  a  century 
stubbornly  refused  to  "move  up  town"  not 
one  remained.  The  trees  in  the  Parks  are 
thirteen  years  taller,  and  even  the  flagstones  on 
the  sidewalks  have  more  than  doubled  in  size. 
Everything  has  grown,  not  only  older  and  larger, 
but,  paradoxical  as  it  sounds,  fresher  and  newer. 
At  the  "way  things  are  going  on,"  London  will 
not  change  as  much,  materially,  in  the  next 
hundred  years  as  New  York  has  changed  in  the 
last  thirteen.  But  then  London  is  pretty  nearly 
"finished."  It  can  continue  to  spread;  but,  in  a 
certain  sense,  there  is  not  much  room  for  it  to 
grow.  The  reader  may  pick  an  idea  out  of  this 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  3 

"  conundrum "  if  he  can.  To  return  to  the 
ship.  I  must  not  pass  lightly  over  what  has 
brought  me  over  so  safely  and  so  comfortably. 
The  Baltic,  of  the  White  Star  Line,  is  a  splendid 
vessel.  It  is  the  only  steamer  on  which  I  have 
never  felt  the  jar  of  the  machinery,  nor  smelt  a 
" sea-sick"  smell.  Not  a  single  pulsation  or 
throb  from  her  powerful  engine  is  perceptible, 
while  the  atmosphere  of  the  ship  is  absolutely  in- 
odorous. The  table  is  better  than  that  of  most 
"  first-class  hotels,"  and  the  dining-room  is 
almost  as  large  as  the  Langham's.  The  coffee 
might  and  should  be  better ;  but  this  may  be  said 
of  almost  every  public  and  even  private  table  out 
of  France.  And  there  is  no  more  excuse  for 
vending  bad  coffee  than  for  bad  cigars.  The  best 
quality  of  both  can  be  had,  and  Americans,  of  all 
people  in  the  world,  are  willing  to  pay  the  price, 
as  they  are  good  judges  of  the  article.  Captain 
Kennedy,  of  the  Baltic,  is  a  "perfect  brick,"  who 
minds  his  ship,  and  leaves  his  gallant  doctors, 
purser,  and  steward,  to  look  after  the  passengers. 
In  a  recent  stormy  passage  he  never  left  the  bridge 
for  three  consecutive  days  and  nights,  having  all 
his  meals  sent  to  him  at  his  post.  In  "answering 
a  fool  according  to  his  folly,"  Captain  Kennedy  is 
only  equalled  by  the  venerable  Commodore  Judkins. 
Captain  Kennedy  never  drinks  a  drop  of  wine  or 


4  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

spirits,  and  only  occasionally  comforts  himself  with 
a  cigar  or  pipe.  He  gives  you  a  curt  "  bob  "  on 
going  on  board,  and  an  honest  grip  of  the  hand 
when  you  go  on  shore.  And  this  is  quite  as  much 
"  attention  "  as  passengers  deserve  from  the  cap- 
tain. We  were  a  little  over  eleven  days  in  cross- 
ing, four  of  which  were  very  rough,  the  balance  of 
the  time  a  pleasure-trip.  Out  of  the  one  hundred 
so-called  "  first-class  "  passengers,  there  was  about 
the  average  proportion  of  pleasant,  companionable 
people,  both  ladies  and  gentlemen ;  and  there  was 
the  usual  tendency  to  flirtation.  Only  one  case, 
however,  became  at  all  serious,  threatening  to  end 
fatally — that  is,  in  matrimony.  One  hoary  old 
sinner  made  a  fool  of  himself  by  entering  two  or 
three  times  the  wrong  state-room,  which  drew  on 
him  a  sharp  and  well-deserved  reprimand  from 
the  captain,  and  the  general  contempt  of  the  in- 
dignantly virtuous  passengers.  But  we  had  other 
incidents  by  the  way,  of  a  somewhat  graver  char- 
acter, including  a  birth,  a  burial,  and  a  christening. 
Among  the  seven  hundred  steerage  passengers  a 
Norwegian  mother  took  it  into  her  head  to  give 
birth  to  a  boy ;  and  as  she  was  wholly  unprepared 
for  the  event,  and  as  the  child  was  born  utterly 
naked,  we  made  up  a  purse  of  £5,  by  shilling 
contributions,  to  purchase  a  layette  for  the  little 
nudity.  And  then,  having  a  parson  on  board — 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  5 

who,  by  the  way,  preached  most  inoffensive  ser- 
mons, never  obtruding  his  "  stock-in-trade  "  upon 
the  passengers — the  baby  was  duly  christened, 
to  the  great  delight  of  several  young  matrons, 
one  of  whom  acted  as  godmother.  But  ah !  there 
was  sadness  on  the  sea  when  a  little  "steerage" 
boy  of  six  died,  and  was  dropped  overboard. 
The  ship's  carpenter  made  the  little  coffin,  added 
ninety  pounds  of  weight  to  sink  it,  and,  after 
early  morning  and  burial  prayers  were  read,  there 
was  a  splash  in  the  water,  a  gasp  from  the  poor 
mother's  heart,  and  the  "  funeral "  was  over.  But 
there  was  such  a  mist  that  morning  that  many  an 
eye  could  scarcely  read  the  breakfast  bill-of-fare. 
The  path  of  life  has  its  terrible  passages,  both  on 
the  land  and  on  the  sea. 


TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 


NEW    YORK. 

THE  Americans  are  an  expansive  people,  and  the 
reason  is  obvious.  They  are  accustomed  to  rapid 
growth.  The  farmer  is  continually  "  pulling  down 
his  barns  and  building  greater,"  and  the  merchant 
is  perpetually  enlarging  his  "stores."  Business 
accommodations  can  hardly  keep  pace  with  the 
necessities  of  trade.  Hence  the  magnitude  and 
the  splendour  of  those  transformation  scenes  which 
meet  the  eye  at  every  turn  in  the  once-familiar 
city  of  New  York.  Broadway  has  no  longer  its 
cheap  side,  where  the  "  lame  ducks "  used  to 
sneak  home  after  "bursting"  in  Wall  Street. 
From  the  Battery  all  the  way  to  Union  Square, 
the  noble  thoroughfare  is  lined  with  magnificent 
business  edifices,  largely  devoted  to  Banks,  In- 
surance and  Railway  Companies.  Oyster-cellars 
and  confectionary  saloons  are  no  longer  where  they 
were,  or  what  they  were.  Even  bivalves  and  bon- 
bons are  now  served  in  princely  palaces ;  and 
wholesale  clothing-shops  have  grown  into  huge 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  'J 

establishments  occupying  entire  blocks.  Theatres 
have  only  multiplied,  and  not  increased  in  size. 
But  Barnum,  the  perennial  and  ever-expanding 
flower  of  showmen,  has  literally  outgrown  all 
competition  and  all  tradition.  In  vastness,  as  in 
enterprise  and  audacity,  Barnum  beats  the  world. 
Between  his  old  "  Museum  "  on  the  corner  of  Ann 
Street  and  Broadway,  and  his  new  up-town 
"  Hippodrome,"  there  are  whole  centuries  of 
progress.  It  is  unquestionably  the  grandest  and 
most  bewildering  "  place  of  amusement "  the 
world  has  ever  seen.  Just  now  it  eclipses  all 
other  entertainments,  and  promises  to  be  a  great 
pecuniary  success.  The  Roman  Coliseum  was 
but  a  mere  hint  to  this  "  almighty  spread  "  of  the 
great  showman  in  his  fifth  act.  Bat  in  no  class 
of  buildings  are  the  transformations  more  striking 
than  in  what  used  to  be  called  newspaper  u  offices." 
In  New  York  the  Press  has  nobly  asserted  its 
dignity  by  the  grandeur  of  its  edifices.  Instead 
of  dirty,  subterranean  holes  for  press-rooms  and 
publication  offices,  with  miserable  closets  and 
garrets  for  editorial  and  composition  rooms,  all 
the  first-class  successful  journals  and  magazines 
have  risen,  expanded,  bloomed  out,  and  become 
transformed  into  magnificent,  regal-looking  build- 
ings, endowed  with  all  modern  improvements  and 
luxuries  in  the  way  of  light,  warmth,  ventilation, 


8  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

&c.,  &c.  Even  the  traditional  "  printer's  devil  " 
has  been  cared  for  in  these  "  reconstructed " 
establishments,  and  water,  soap,  and  towels  sup- 
plied ad  libitum  for  the  benefit  of  his  inky  face 
and  fingers.  In  fact,  the  dirty  little  imp  of  the 
newspaper  office  no  longer  exists.  As  for  King 
Editor's  throne-room,  it  is  simply  sumptuous. 
Sofas,  easy- chairs — with  the  chair  appropriately 
on  a  pivot — elegant  cases  filled  with  books  of 
reference,  speaking-tubes,  electric  bells,  telegraph 
instruments,  &c.,  &c.,  are  all  provided  for  the  use 
of  His  Potency  who  commands  the  columns  and 
assumes  the  imperial  "  We  "  of  the  Daily  Press 
of  New  York.  Something  of  a  transformation 
this,  since  Bennet  began  to  write  his  "  shocking  " 
leaders  thirty-five  years  ago,  with  a  cellar  for 
his  "  sanctum,"  a  board,  resting  upon  two  empty 
barrels,  for  a  table,  and  a  three-legged  stool  for 
his  editorial  chair.  The  Herald  is  now  issued  from 
a  marble  palace,  and  the  son  of  the  founder,  whose 
birth  was  the  text  for  a  witty  leader  written  by 
the  happy  father,  headed,  "Arrival  of  le  Jeune 
Editeur,"  is  now  Prince  of  the  Press,  with  a 
fortune  of  ten  millions  of  dollars,  more  or  less. 
These  changes  are  truly  amazing,  and  the  more  I 
see  of  what  has  been  done  here  in  the  last  thir- 
teen years,  the  more  convinced  I  am  of  the 
propriety  of  heading  these  observations — "  Trans- 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  9 

formation  Scenes."  And,  as  yet,  I  have  seen 
comparatively  nothing.  This  is  my  fourth  day  in 
New  York,  and  most  of  the  time  I  have  been 
immersed  in  Turkish  Baths,  of  which  I  shall  have 
more  to  say  hereafter.  The  good  doctor  who 
presides  over  this  beneficent  institution  assures 
me  that  he  is  saving  me  from  a  severe,  if  not 
fatal,  case  of  cerebral  and  gastric  fever,  and  that 
in  ten  days  he  will  send  me  forth  completely 
"  reconstructed."  The  event  of  the  day,  or  rather 
of  yesterday,  is  the  "  Royal  Marriage "  at 
Washington.  Miss  Nellie  Grant,  daughter  of 
the  President,  was  married  on  the  21st  inst.,  with 
most  undemocratic  pomp  and  ceremony,  to  Mr 
Sartoris,  an  Englishman,  and  the  "  happy  pair  " 
will  depart  to-morrow  in  the  good  ship  Baltic  for 
England.  The  leading  journals  of  New  York,  with 
their  customary  competitive  "  enterprise,"  devote 
from  six  to  eight  columns  to  the  joyful  event. 
Truly  the  "  Republican  Court "  has  its  courtiers, 
not  to  say  toadies.  To  the  parties  immediately 
concerned  in  the  "  contract,"  this  marriage  of  the 
Princess  of  the  White  House  is  of  just  as  much 
importance  as  the  marriage  of  the  Grand  Duchess 
of  Russia  to  a  son  of  the  Queen  of  England ;  but, 
as  a  public  or  political  event,  it  is  hardly  de- 
serving of  the  ink  that  has  been  shed  over  it. 
Still  it  is  better  to  throw  "  slippers  "  and  bouquets 


0 O  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

after  the  "  bridled  pair "  than  anything  that 
might  hit  harder  or  hurt  more.  And  so  let  us 
join  in  the  general  bon  voyage  that  wafts  the 
beautiful  Baltic  on  her  homeward  trip.  Another 
feather  in  the  "  White  Star's  "  cap — that  is,  Cap. 
Kennedy's,  who  has  had  his  office  on  deck  trans- 
formed for  the  occasion  into  a  nuptial  bower,  but 
alas !  not  warranted  proof  against  sea-sickness. 
And  this  reminds  us  of  a  philosophical  con- 
clusion very  deliberately  formed  during  our  recent 

11  crossing."     A  couple  seriously  inclined  to  marry 
should  make  a  trip  together  across  the  Atlantic 
before  the  inexorable  knot  is  tied.     If  both  parties 
can  stand  the  disillusionising  effects  of  sea-sick- 
ness, they  will  have  a  better  chance  of  sticking  to- 
gether through  life.      As  I  am  again  back  in  the 
ship — I  don't  mean  that  I  am  "  going  back  on  " 
the  White  Star  Line — I  am  reminded  of  a  touch 
of  the  Custom-House  plague  on  landing.    A  friend, 
and  a  free-trader,  who  did  not  need  this  "protec- 
tion"   persecution    to  convert    him    to    the   true 
gospel  of  Commerce,  was  compelled  to  pay  288 
dollars   as    "  duties "    on    a  few  presents  he  was 
taking  home  to  his  family ;  while  I  was  punished 
to  the  extent  of  twelve  dollars  on  a  little  parcel 
which  I  had  "  the  kindness  to  take  "  from  a  gen- 
tleman for  his  sister.      Let  me  repeat  for  the  thou- 
sandth time,  and  with  renewed  emphasis,  that  pro- 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  1 1 

tectiou  is  a  fraud,  and  the  Custom  House  a  nuisance. 
The  only  honest  and  legitimate  tax  for  the  sup- 
port of  Government  is  a  direct  tax  on  property. 
One  word  in  regard  to  business  matters.  Trade 
is  dull,  and  bankers  are  blue.  Wall  Street 
"  operators "  tell  me  they  are  not  making  their 
rents.  Only  that  accursed  "  Gold  Room,"  the 
great  Gambling  Hell  of  New  York,  keeps  up  the 
game  of  buying  and  selling  at  fluctuations  of  an 
eighth  or  a  sixteenth  a  day,  by  which  one  wins  a 
little,  another  loses,  and  nobody  is  benefited.  I 
am  looking  into  "  Erie,"  and  shall  soon  be  able 
to  report  as  thoroughly  on  the  affairs  of  the 
Company  as  Captain  Tyler,  the  outcoming  man. 
I  will  only  say  to-day  that  the  Erie  will  lease  the 
Atlantic  and  Great  Western  for  ninety-nine  years, 
that  President  Watson  will  retire,  and  that  Mr 
James  McHenry  will  return  to  England  next 
week  perfectly  satisfied  with  matters  and  things 
generally.  Mr  McHenry  is  regarded  here  as  the 
reigning  "  Railway  King  "  of  America.  On  leav- 
ing this  week  for  a  trip  to  Niagara,  the  venerable 
Commodore  Vanderbilt  met  him  at  the  station 
at  an  early  hour  in  the  morning,  and  placed  a 
Palace  Car  at  his  service.  The  Commodore  has 
passed  his  eightieth  year,  and  still  loves  his  big 
stock  game  in  Wall  Street,  and  his  little  game 
of  "  Boston"  at  the  club.  When  this  old  man's 


12  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

many -wintered  snow  melts,  there  will  come  a 
deluge.  The  wealth  now  dammed  up  in  that 
weak  old  reservoir  is  stupendous;  and  in  this 
case  the  transformation  scene  cannot  be  long 
delayed. 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  13 


POLITICS. 

POLITICAL  changes  in  America  transcend  even 
material  transformations.  Within  a  decade  Negro 
Slavery  in  the  South  has  been  abolished,  and  the 
once  "  Sovereign  and  Independent  States  "  have 
been  deprived  of  all  their  original  "  rights."  This 
radical  revolution  is  the  result  of  the  great  Seces- 
sion War,  which  has  left  society,  and  the  "  body 
politic,"  in  a  very  unsettled  condition.  When 
the  negroes  were  suddenly  emancipated  by  the 
accident  of  Northern  victory,  the  Federal  Congress, 
in  which  the  Southern  States  had  no  representa- 
tive, bestowed  on  the  "  freedman  "  the  privilege 
of  citizenship,  thereby  conferring  on  the  ignorant 
blacks  of  the  South  the  balance  of  political  power. 
Time  will  illustrate  the  folly  of  this  indiscrimin- 
ate enfranchisement.  Already  it  has  introduced 
a  new  word  to  the  criminal  vocabulary;  and 
"  carpet-baggism "  is  the  acknowledged  curse  of 
the  country.  It  has  brought  upon  the  subjugated 
South  more  debt  than  the  Rebellion,  and  more 


14  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

disgrace  than  Secession.  No  sooner  had  the  Act 
passed  Congress,  giving  to  all  negroes  of  the  age 
of  twenty-one  the  right  to  vote,  than  a  hungry 
horde  of  political  adventurers,  carpet-bag  in  hand, 
rushed  down  South  to  "  take  charge  of  the  elec- 
tions." Calling  themselves  "  Original  Abolition- 
ists "  they  assumed  to  be  the  negro's  friend  and 
liberator,  and  of  course  had  things  all  their 
own  way.  Getting  control  of  the  local  Legisla- 
tures, they  soon  feathered  their  own  nests  by 
issuing  State  Bonds  without  limit  and  without 
record.  Hence  the  hopeless  bankruptcy  of  most 
of  the  "  States  lately  in  rebellion."  South 
Carolina  is  being  sold  by  Sheriffs  to  pay  the  taxes 
on  these  fraudulent  bonds.  These  observations 
are  apropos  of  the  so-called  ll  Civil  Rights  Bill," 
which  has  just  passed  the  Senate  at  Washington 
by  a  strictly  party  vote,  only  three  Republicans 
having  the  courage  to  protest  against  the  mon- 
strous measure.  This  "  Bill "  is  Mr  Sumner's 
dying  legacy — I  will  call  it  insult — to  his  country. 
The  following  "  First  Clause  "  contains  its  prin- 
cipal "  provisions."  The  rest  of  the  Act  is  made 
up  chiefly  of  pains  and  penalties  for  violation  of 
this  preposterous  and  most  offensive  law: — "  That 
all  citizens  and  other  persons  within  the  jurisdic- 
tion of  the  United  States  shall  be  entitled  to  the 
full  and  equal  enjoyment  of  the  accommodations, 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  15 

advantages,  facilities,  and  privileges  of  inns,  public 
conveyances  on  land  or  water,  theatres  and  other 
places  of  public  amusement,  and  also  of  common 
schools  and  public  institutions  of  learning  and 
benevolence  supported  in  whole  or  in  part  by 
general  taxation,  and  of  cemeteries  so  supported, 
and  also  the  institutions  known  as  agricultural 
colleges,  endowed  by  the  United  States,  subject 
only  to  the  conditions  and  limitations  established 
by  law,  and  applicable  alike  to  citizens  of  every 
race  and  colour,  regardless  of  any  previous  condi- 
tion of  servitude."  The  New  York  Herald  of  the 
24th  of  May  has  an  able  and  justly  indignant 
leader  on  the  subject,  from  which  I  quote  the  fol- 
lowing pithy  extract : — "  In  the  first  section  of 
this  Bill  for  Civil  Rights,  Congress  pretends  to 
lay  down  rules  for  the  hotel-keepers,  to  say  who 
shall  travel  in  public  conveyances,  and  to  govern 
the  theatres  and  places  of  amusement  generally 
to  legislate  for  our  common  schools,  colleges, 
hospitals,  insane  asylums,  and  charitable  institu- 
tions generally ;  nay,  even  to  declare  who  shall  be 
buried  in  our  potters'  fields — for  we  believe  those 
are  the  only  graveyards  we  have  that  are  not 
private  property.  Further  than  all  this,  Congress 
proceeds  to  declare  who  shall  sit  on  the  grand 
juries  in  the  several  States,  who  shall  serve  as 
petit  jurors,  and  to  lay  down  penalties  for  the 


1 6  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

misconduct  of  the  Commissioners  of  Juries  and 
similar  strictly  local  officials.  All  this  is  not 
merely  unconstitutional,  it  is  absurd  and  non- 
sensical. It  does  not  merely  transcend  the  power 
of  Congress,  but  it  goes  beyond  the  point  up  to 
which  people  can  contemplate  the  law  with  re- 
spect, and,  at  least,  with  straight  faces."  This 
reckless  party  Act  sweeps  away  the  last  vestige 
of  State  Rights,  and  utterly  extinguishes  State 
autonomy.  Will  the  House  pass  it  ?  and  if  so, 
will  the  President  sanction  it?  are  the  questions 
on  every  tongue.  It  is  vain  to  predict  what  time 
will  so  soon  decide;  but  the  chances  are  all  in 
favour  of  this  measure  of  nonsense  becoming  the 
supreme  law  of  the  land.  In  the  first  place,  it  is 
a  strictly  party  measure,  and  the  party  has  a  large 
majority  in  the  House.  This  secures  the  passage 
of  the  Bill.  And  there  is  not  the  slightest  hope 
for  a  veto  from  Grant,  who  is  beyond  doubt 
again  in  the  field  for  re-election.  It  is  now  said 
that  men  seeking  favours  at  the  White  House 
must  either  mollify  Grant  with  the  prospect  of  a 
third  term,  or  menace  him  with  impeachment. 
Therefore  he  will  not  veto  the  Bill  which  makes 
the  negro,  perforce,  the  social  equal  of  the  white 
man,  as  the  negro  vote  controls  the  South,  and  is 
the  balance  of  power  in  the  Presidential  election. 
Only  two  primary  laws  govern  the  Universe — 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  \J 

gravitation  and  self-interest.     It  is  the  interest 

of  Presidential  aspirants  to  truckle  to  niggerdom. 

Having  weakened  himself  in  the  West  and  South 

by  his  brave  veto  of  u  Inflation,"  Grant  will  now 

hedge  on  the  niggers.     Lest  some  casual  reader 

of    the    Cosmopolitan    should    misinterpret    my 

views  in  regard  to  the    social  and  political  status 

of  "  our  coloured  brethren,"  I  will  here  state  that, 

while    naturally    and    honestly    preferring   white 

skins  to  black,  I  would  not  disfranchise   a   man 

for   the  mere  accident  of  colour :   I  would  only 

restrict    the    privilege    of   suffrage   to    men   who 

possess    the    requisite    moral,    intellectual,    and 

property    qualifications.      On    the    firm    basis    of 

equal  suffrage  Republics  may  endure  for  centuries ; 

but  on  the  rotten  foundation  of  universal  suffrage 

the  inevitable  downfall  is  only  a  question  of  time. 

As  a  race  the  African  is  in  its   nonage,  and  not 

half  as  much  entitled  to  vote  as  the  average  white 

boy  of  twelve.     Under  the  illogical  "  Fourteenth 

Amendment "  to  the  Federal  Constitution  every 

American  white  man,  less  than  twenty-one  years 

of  age,  is   every  black   man's  political   inferior ; 

and  now  the  "  Civil  Eights  "    enactment  makes 

the   very  lowest  darkey  the   social  equal  of  the 

very  highest  white.     When  the  President  has  put 

his  name  to  this  infamous  law,  the  most  offensive 

nigger,    in    the    hottest    of    the    dog-days,    can 

B 


1 8  TRANSFORM  A  TION  SCENES 

demand  a  seat  at  the  table  d'hote  of  the  most 
aristocratic  hotel,  and  the  refusal  of  his  demand, 
or  the  ejectment  of  his  person,  -would  subject  the 
hotel-keeper  to  a  fine  of  1000  dollars.  The 
effect  of  this  enforced  association,  in  violation 
of  the  great  law  of  "  natural  selection,"  will  be 
a  war  of  races,  and  the  final  extirpation  of  the 
blacks.  And  yet  the  New  York  Tribune  says  the 
law  is  but  the  enactment  of  the  Golden  Rule, 
and  that  Sumner,  like  the  Campeador,  has  gained 
his  greatest  victory  after  death !  As  I  have 
already  intimated,  Grant,  playing  for  a  third  term, 
will  sign  the  Bill.  One  word  in  regard  to  this 
much  deprecated  third-term  movement.  What  is 
the  particular  objection  to  it  ?  There  is  no  pre- 
cedent for  it,  the  Opposition  newspapers  daily 
iterate.  True,  but  there  is  no  precedent  for 
many  things  that  have  been  done  in  Washing- 
ton since  the  Black  Republican  party  came  into 
power  in  1861.  And  if  the  President  is  a  good 
one,  and  his  administration  is  beneficent,  the 
longer  he  remains  in  office  the  better.  Only,  let 
him  be  elected  for  a  longer  term — say  ten  or 
twelve  years,  or  even  for  life — to  avoid  the  de- 
moralising effects  of  quadrennial  elections.  There 
is  no  better  reason  than  precedent  for  not  elect- 
ing the  Chief  Magistrate,  like  the  Judges  of  the 
Supreme  Court,  for  life,  instead  of  four  years. 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  1 9 

Given  a  good  Executive,  and  the  longer  he 
remains  in  office  the  better  will  he  be  qualified  to 
discharge  its  duties.  Therefore  we  see  no  in- 
superable objection  to  a  third  term  for  Grant. 
He  has  been  tried,  and  the  people  have  confidence 
in  the  general  policy  of  his  administration.  There 
is  a  homely  old  proverb  applicable  to  the  situation — 
"  One  may  go  farther  and  fare  worse."  Sporting 
politicians  are  now  betting  that  the  only  possible 
alternatives  for  the  next  Presidency  are  Grant  and 
Butler.  The  mere  menace  is  rapidly  reconciling 
thousands  to  the  idea  of  a  third  term. 


2O  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 


FEDERAL     UNION. 

SINCE  my  arrival  in  New  "York  a  new  State  has 
been  added  to  the  Federal  Union.  To  the  general 
surprise  of  the  public,  the  Territory  of  New  Mexico 
comes  in  ahead  of  Colorado,  as  number  thirty-eight. 
After  a  somewhat  animated  debate,  the  Bill  of 
Admission  passed  the  Lower  House  by  a  vote  of 
160  to  76.  It  was  stated  in  the  course  of  the  dis- 
cussion that  New  Mexico,  which  has  an  area  three 
times  as  large  as  Ohio,  had  in  1850  a  population 
of  61,547,  and  in  1860  a  population  of  93,516. 
But  in  1870  the  advocates  of  the  Bill  were  forced 
to  admit  there  had  been,  according  to  the  census, 
an  actual  decrease,  for  the  population  was  then 
shown  to  be  only  91,971.  The  decrease  was  de- 
clared to  be  "  apparent "  only,  and  Mr  Elkins,  the 
delegate  from  New  Mexico,  devoted  much  of  his 
time  to  explaining  it  away.  He  asserted  that  the 
present  population  is  at  least  135,000,  and  he 
showed  that  fifteen  of  the  twenty-four  States 
admitted  since  the  original  thirteen  had  an  average 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  21 

population  of  63,000  at  the  date  of  admission. 
The  geographical  position  and  agricultural  and 
mineral  resources  of  the  infant  State  are  already 
exciting  a  lively  interest.  The  population  is 
chiefly  Mexican,  and  the  business  of  the  Territorial 
Legislature  has  been  carried  on  through  an  inter- 
preter. Great  progress  has  been  made  within  the 
last  five  years,  no  less  than  133  public  schools 
having  been  established,  and  the  mineral  pro- 
ductions have  risen  to  over  2,000,000  dollars  a 
year.  A  Bill  admitting  Colorado  into  the  Union 
has  just  passed  the  Territorial  Committee  of  the 
House  of  Representatives,  and  before  Congress 
adjourns  on  the  22d  of  June  the  Federation  will 
consist  of  thirty-nine  States,  just  three  times  the 
original  number.  The  only  valid  ground  of 
opposition  to  the  admission  of  new  States  is  the 
undeserved  power  it  gives  them  in  the  Senate. 
On  the  next  meeting  of  Congress,  New  Mexico, 
which  has  two  senators,  will  have  just  as  much 
voting  strength  in  the  Upper  House  as  New  York. 
Considering  that  the  population  of  the  former  is 
only  a  little  over  100,000,  most  of  whom  can 
neither  read,  write,  nor  speak  the  English  lan- 
guage, while  the  latter  numbers  about  5,000,000, 
embracing  the  most  intelligent  and  wealthy  citi- 
zens of  the  Union,  the  injustice  of  the  Constitu- 
tional "  provision  "  becomes  strikingly  apparent. 


2  2  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

But  so  long  as  the  law  exists,  Territories  have 
the  absolute  right  of  admission  whenever  they  can 
show  the  requisite  number  of  inhabitants,  including 
Niggers,  Indians,  Mexicans,  hybrids,  and  all  other 
bipeds  belonging  to  the  genus  homo.  It  is  given 
out  that  before  1876,  the  Centennial  Birthday  of 
the  great  Republic,  the  Federal  Union  will  con- 
sist of  forty  States,  and  the  Senate  of  eighty  mem- 
bers. To  check  this  rapid  increase  of  States  an 
"amendment"  may  possibly  be  passed  raising 
the  population  standard  to  500,000  or  1,000,000. 
Congress  has  long  since  ceased  to  regard  the 
Constitution  as  an  instrument  too  sacred  to  be 
altered,  amended,  or  even  violated.  At  this 
very  moment  a  Washington  telegram  brings  us 
the  following  proposition,  introduced  to  the  Senate 
by  Mr  Stewart,  of  Nevada,  in  the  shape  of  a 
Sixteenth  Amendment: — "Article  16:  If  any 
State  shall  fail  to  maintain  a  common  school 
system,  under  which  all  persons  between  the  ages 
of  five  and  eighteen  years,  not  incapacitated  for  the 
same,  shall  receive,  free  of  charge,  such  elementary 
education  as  Congress  may  prescribe,  the  Congress 
shall  have  power  to  establish  therein  such  a  system, 
and  cause  the  same  to  be  maintained  at  the  ex- 
pense of  such  State."  Anything  in  favour  of 
public  education  is  sure  to  meet  the  general 
approbation  of  the  American  people ;  but  this 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  2$ 

Amendment  is  another  blow  at  State  Rights,  of 
which  the  less  said  hereafter  the  better.  The 
very  phrase  sounds  like  burlesque,  and  reminds 
one  of  the  ironical  Yankee  shoemaker  who  adver- 
tises "Women's  Eights  and  Lefts."  In  the  eye  of 
Congress — that  is,  of  the  dominant  party — the 
individual  States,  once  "  sovereign  and  independ- 
ent," are  reduced  to  mere  municipalities,  and  their 
respective  Legislatures  might  as  well  be  abolished, 
and  all  the  "  State-Houses"  converted  into  school- 
houses  or  Turkish-bath  establishments.  Here  is 
a  transformation,  indeed,  since  the  good  old  days 
when  Massachusetts  and  South  Carolina  held  their 
heads  high  and  defiant — one  the  first  to  threaten 
Secession  through  a  "  Hartford  Convention,"  and 
the  other  to  inaugurate  the  "  Sovereign  "  idea  by 
an  attack  on  Fort  Sumter.  Is  it  possible  that 
the  spirits  of  Webster  and  Hayne  are  cognisant  of 
the  present  condition  of  these  proud  old  States,  of 
which,  a  brief  generation  ago,  they  were  the 
respective  and  eloquent  champions  ?  I  am  here 
reminded  of  certain  questions  frequently  asked  in 
Europe.  Has  the  general  condition  of  the  Ameri- 
can people  been  improved  by  the  war?  Has  the 
emancipation  of  the  blacks  increased  the  liberty  of 
the  whites  ?  Have  a  few  gigantic  shoddy  fortunes 
benefited  the  masses  of  the  people?  All  these 
questions  I  must  answer  emphatically  in  the 


24  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

negative.  War  is  the  sum  of  all  crime,  and  its 
fruits  are  only  evil.  And  there  never  was  a  more 
wicked  war  waged  on  earth  than  the  great  fratri- 
cidal war  between  the  North  and  the  South.  But 
it  is  past,  and  I  do  not  propose  to  discuss  it,  only 
to  "  cuss  it  "  now  and  for  ever.  As  for  apportion- 
ing the  blame  among  parties,  sections,  and  in- 
dividuals who  brought  the  Ked  Deluge  upon  the 
country,  that  is  a  matter  for  the  Court  of  Last 
Appeal,  before  whom,  according  to  orthodox  creed, 
all  motives  and  men  must  be  finally  judged  and 
sentenced.  As  my  pen  runs  in  apolitical  vein  to- 
day, it  catches  somewhat  eagerly  at  the  Cuban 
news  of  recent  date.  There  is  a  great  pressure  on 
Congress  at  this  moment  for  the  official  recognition 
of  the  "  patriots"  as  belligerents.  A  leading  arti- 
cle in  the  Cosmopolitan  of  the  7th  of  May,  apro- 
pos of  Senator  Carpenter's  Recognition  Motion, 
was  conspicuously  quoted  by  the  "Washington 
Chronicle,  the  organ  of  the  Administration.  This 
prominent  indication  of  Presidential  support 
gave  the  friends  of  Cuba  renewed  hope,  and  they 
have  gone  to  work  in  earnest  to  induce  Congress 
to  act  before  adjournment.  It  is  a  singular  fact 
that  the  New  York  Times,  the  organ  of  Secretary 
Fish,  is  very  angry  at  the  Cuban  movement,  and 
calls  on  the  Government  to  repudiate  the  course 
of  the  Chronicle,  whose  editor  is  grossly  abused 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  2$ 

for  his  "  sympathies."  But  the  Times  is  edited 
by  an  Englishman,  who  has  the  impudence,  in  his 
issue  of  this  morning,  to  blackguard  the  venerable 
and  respectable  Mayor  Havemeyer  in  the  following 
words,  and  for  the  simple  reason  that  the  Mayor 
has  signed  the  ordinance  for  muzzling  dogs  : — 
11  We  have  known  many  a  dog  far  more  intelligent, 
and  far  more  fit  to  be  Mayor  of  New  York,  than 
Mr  Havemeyer — and  doubtless  not  a  few  of  our 
readers  can  say  the  same."  Suppose  an  American 
journalist  in  London  should  write  thus  insolently 
of  the  Lord  Mayor  !  The  Spanish  despotism  in 
Cuba  is  really  helping  the  cause  of  the  "pa- 
triots "  more  effectively  than  all  the  sympathies 
at  Washington.  Here  is  an  item  that  touches 
the  Americans  in  a  tender  spot : — A  letter  from 
Havana,  of  the  22d  of  May,  says  that  the 
"  merchants  exporting  goods  to  the  United  States 
from  Cuba  are  already  adding  the  income-tax  of 
ten  per  cent,  levied  by  General  Concha  to  the 
invoices  which  they  remit  to  their  correspondents 
in  the  United  States.  The  plan  is  exceedingly 
simple  on  their  part,  takes  no  money  out  of  their 
pockets,  nor  out  of  those  of  the  people  of  the  island 
— the  people  of  the  United  States  thus  almost 
directly  paying  the  income-tax  of  the  Cubans." 
This  one  little  fact  will  do  more  to  bring  about 
the  recognition  of  the  Cuban  Republic  than  all 


26  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

other  causes  combined.  Brother  Jonathan  is  a 
sensible  fellow,  and  most  "  sensible  "  of  all  in  his 
pocket.  Just  now  there  is  a  general  complaint 
of  stagnation  in  business.  The  bankers  are  blue, 
and  railroad  men  are  "far,  far  from  gay."  New 
York  has  too  many  magnificent  stores  to  let.  The 
merchants  wear  long  and  anxious  as  well  as 
meagre  faces.  The  recognition  of  Cuba  will 
create  a  new  sensation,  and  make  things  lively 
generally.  Mr  Secretary  Fish  fears  a  war  with 
Spain.  None  but  old  fogies  are  afraid  of  ghosts. 
Spain  has  her  hands  full  of  war  at  home.  It 
would  be  a  positive  blessing  to  the  Mother  Coun- 
try to  get  rid  of  her  Cuban  troubles.  But  the 
question  for  the  United  States  to  consider  is,  not 
the  pleasure  or  pride  of  Spain,  nor  one  of  mere 
commercial  benefits  to  herself  and  to  the  world  at 
large,  but  a  question  of  human  freedom  and  of 
human  right.  A  people  who  appeal  to  "  higher 
laws  "  whenever  it  suits  their  interests  to  override 
the  Constitution,  should  not  hesitate  to  act  under 
the  same  code  when  the  cause  of  human  liberty  is 
at  stake.  In  spite  of  the  powerful  Spanish  influ- 
ence in  Washington,  chiefly  exercised  through  the 
office  of  the  Secretary  of  State,  or  Prime  Minister, 
I  have  strong  assurances  from  headquarters  that 
the  hour  of  Cuban  deliverance  is  at  hand. 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  2J 


HO  TELS. 

THERE  has  been  a  large  increase  in  the  number  of 
hotels  in  New  York  in  the  last  ten  years,  but  the 
rage  for  "  mammoth  hotels  "  no  longer  exists.  The 
ambition  for  magnitude  seems  to  have  culminated 
in  the  "  St  Nicholas,"  and  the  "  Fifth  Avenue." 
Hotels  about  one-half  the  size  of  these  enormous 
establishments  are  now  considered  quite  as  com- 
fortable, and  even  more  fashionable.  A  few  years 
ago  American  travellers,  both  at  home  and  abroad, 
thought  it  a  "  big  thing,"  and  the  only  "  correct 
thing,"  to  stop  at  the  "biggest  house."  But 
European  ideas,  which  are  continually  modify- 
ing "  Yankee  notions,"  have  corrected  the  popular 
fallacy  that  a  man's  personal  importance  depends 
on  the  magnitude  or  the  magnificence  of  his  domi- 
cile. After  making  acquaintance  with  the  big  town 
of  London,  the  great  reservoir  of  wealth  and  hotbed 
of  aristocracy,  the  American  loses  something  of 
his  worship  of  vastness,  and  comes  to  the  conclusion 
that  quality  is  even  more  desirable  than  quantity. 


28  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

A  small  diamond  is  worth  more  than  a  big  rock, 
and  a  single  drop  of  "attar"  than  a  whole  acre 
of  roses.  Among  the  hotel  guests  of  London  we 
generally  find  the  most  fastidious  and  a  exclusive  " 
visitants  at  such  "  one-horse  concerns  "  as  Long's, 
Limmer's,  Claridge's,  and  Fenton's,  rather  than 
at  those  very  grand  hotels,  the  Langham,  the 
Grosvenor,  the  Charing  Cross,  and  the  Midland. 
This  "  fashion  "  has  reached  New  York,  which  is 
sufficiently  cosmopolitan  to  adopt  good  ideas  from 
abroad,  even  if  they  come  from  England.  There 
are  several  comparatively  small  hotels  up  town 
kept  on  the  "  European  plan,"  which  come  about 
as  near  to  perfection  in  the  way  of  comfort  as  any 
hotels  I  have  seen  in  any  part  of  the  world.  They 
have  a  fixed  price  for  rooms,  and  the  meals  are 
served  a  la  carte  ;  the  cost  of  every  dish  is  given, 
so  that  no  'one  need  be  surprised  or  vexed  at  the 
amount  of  his  bill.  In  the  United  States  the  hotel 
is  literally  an  "  institution."  The  system,  initiated 
here  some  forty  years  ago,  has  revolutionised  the 
hotel  system  throughout  the  world.  I  can  give  its 
origin  by  indulging  in  a  little  egotism.  At  the 
age  of  twelve,  in  passing  through  Boston,  on  my 
way  to  school  at  Newhampton,  N.H.,  I  had  to 
pass  a  night  at  the  Tremont  House,  then  newly 
opened,  which  was  the  first  "grand  hotel"  ever 
built  in  America,  or  in  Europe.  Behind  the  office 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  2C) 

counter  of  that  hotel  I  saw  a  remarkably  handsome 
boy,  about  my  own  age,  who  was  affectionately 
called  "  Charley."  A  few  years  later  this  pro- 
mising lad,  Charles  A.  Stetson,  in  connection  with 
Robert  B.  Coleman,  became  proprietor  of  the  Astor 
House  in  New  York,  then  the  "  mammoth  hotel " 
of  the  world.  During  my  first  year's  residence  in 
New  York,  as  Editor  of  the  Evening  Mirror,  it  was 
my  good  fortune  to  be  a  guest  at  the  Astor.  Last 
week,  in  the  vestibule  of  the  Astor,  I  met  my  old 
friend,  and  sometime  host,  Stetson.  We  are  both 
not  a  little  metamorphosed  by  Time,  but  have  not 
lost  our  identity.  We  recognised  each  other.  While 
on  the  subject  of  hotels,  I  have  an  important  an- 
nouncement to  make.  My  good  old  friend  Hiram 
Cranston,  at  whose  beautiful  country  seat,  150 
miles  north  of  New  York,  I  am  now  writing,  pro- 
poses to  build  the  grandest  hotel  in  London  the 
world  has  ever  seen.  His  drawings,  put  in  shape 
by  Arthur  Oilman,  the  celebrated  architect,  give 
us  an  ideal  hotel.  The  "  Grand,"  in  Paris,  where 
I  have  resided  for  four  years,  and  which  I  used  to 
think  was,  in  every  respect,  the  ne  plus  ultra  of 
hotels,  is  simply  "  nowhere  "  in  comparison  with 
these  plans,  which  have  cost  Mr  Cranston  some 
ten  thousand  dollars.  I  shall  not  undertake  to 
describe  them.  I  only  hope  the  old  Coliseum  lot, 
fronting  Regent's  Park,  can  be  obtained  for  the 


3O  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

erection  of  this  super-grand  hotel,  the  embodiment 
of  Mr  Cranston's  idea.  Is  there  room  for  another 
grand  hotel  in  London,  I  am  asked  ?  My  answer 
to  this  is  a  practical  one.  The  Langham,  which 
pays  18  per  cent,  dividends,  is  turning  away  hun- 
dreds daily.  And  the  Langham  does  not  give  its 
American  guests  an  "  American  Bar,"  nor  Ameri- 
can dishes — corn  bread,  hominy,  cod-fish  balls, 
buckwheat  cakes,  pickled  oysters,  succotash,  &c. 
Yes,  there  is  not  only  room  for,  but  a  great  want 
of,  an  American  hotel  in  London ;  that  is,  not  an 
exclusively  American  hotel,  but  one  in  which  both 
the  English  and  American  systems  are  combined ; 
and  this  Mr  Cranston,  who  is  acknowledged  to 
be  the  king  of  American  hotel-directors,  proposes 
to  do.  I  have  heard  several  parties  of  "  elegant 
leisure"  say,  "  If  Cranston  opens  a  hotel  in  Lon- 
don, we  will  go  there  to  spend  the  remainder  of 
our  days."  Let  Cranston,  of  the  famous  "New 
York,"  and  Curtis,  of  the  excellent  "  Limmer's," 
unite  their  "  experiences,"  and  London  will  have 
such  a  hotel  as  the  world  has  never  seen. 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  31 


BUSINESS. 

BUSINESS  affairs  in  New  York  are  reposing  in  a 
salutary  state  of  inactivity.  This  is  the  effect  of 
the  last  September  panic.  So  many  bankers  and 
railway  speculators  of  the  paper  millionaire  class 
were  suddenly  jerked  up  and  laid  on  their  backs, 
that  retrenchment  and  economy  have  become  the 
fashion  of  the  day.  Diamond  studs  have  vanished 
from  the  shirts  of  Fifth  Avenue  "  swells,"  and 
now  scintillate  chiefly  on  the  "  fronts  "  and  fingers 
of  nigger  minstrels.  Spreading  and  splurging,  to 
use  vernacular  phrases,  are  played  out,  and  there 
is  little  ambition  to  do  a  fictitious  business.  The 
building  trade  is  almost  at  a  standstill,  and  there 
are  many  magnificent  stores  to  let  in  the  most 
active  business  streets  of  the  city.  Dealers  in 
bonds,  shares,  and  promises  to  pay  of  every  de- 
scription, are  all  droning  the  same  dull  tune — 
11  Nothing  doing."  And  yet  I  regard  this  state  of 
suspended  animation,  popularly  called  "  stagnation 
of  trade,"  as  one  of  the  most  healthful  signs  of  the 


32  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

times.     The  simple  truth  is,   the  Americans,  and 
particularly  the  New  Yorkers,  were  going  ahead 
too  fast,  on  the  delusive  current  of  paper  money. 
Everything    after   the  war   was   couleur    de   rose. 
Everybody  was  expansive,  and  everything  inflated. 
The  multiplication  of  banks,  the  increase  of  rail- 
roads, and  the  unlimited  issues    of  the  Federal 
Treasury,  inundated  the  community  with  a  "  cir- 
culating medium "    that  passed  for  money,   and 
which,  piled  up  in  the  banker's  safe,  was  regarded 
as  actual  wealth.     When  the  panic  came,  beginning 
with  the  collapse  of  Jay  Cooke  &  Co.,  the  great 
Government  banking-house,  these  redundant  pro- 
mises to  pay  suddenly  shrivelled,  and  were  of  no 
more  avail  than  "  filthy  rags."     Wall  Street  dealers 
in  "  paper  "  instantly  lost  confidence  in  their  own 
"  stock-in-trade,"    and   more    especially    in    each 
other.     The  effects  of  this  wholesome  check  are  now 
apparent  in  the  utter  absence  of  the  usual  spirit  of 
speculation,  and  in  what  is  called  the  "  deadness 
of  the  street."      In  the  mercantile  world  there  is 
more  life.     The  average  weekly  exports  from  New 
York  exceed  5,000,000  of  dollars,  and  this  alone 
involves  a  good  deal  of  business  ;  while  the  imports 
are  considerably  less  than  this   amount — an  excel- 
lent indication  for  the  prosperity  of  the  future,  and 
that  too  not  a  remote  future.     The  business  world  of 
New  York  may  reasonably  look  for  a  great  revival 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  33 

of  trade  in  the  autumn.  In  the  mean  time,  econ- 
omy, following  in  the  wake  of  extravagance,  like 
Ruth  gleaning  in  the  field  of  Boaz,  is  daily  making 
the  people  richer,  and  thousands  who  have  been 
for  years  living  beyond  their  legitimate  incomes 
are  now  struggling  to  live  within  them — the  only 
sure  way  to  domestic  comfort  and  pecuniary  in- 
dependence. Einigratioij  from  Europe  is  adding 
enormously  to  the  aggregate  wealth  of  the  country. 
An  average  of  one  thousand  a  day  of  imported 
11  citizens "  continue  to  land  at  Castle  Garden, 
and  straggle  through  New  York  on  their  sad 
yet  hopeful  way  to  the  unlimited  West,  where 
"  there's  bread  and  work  for  all."  In  spite  of 
illogical  legislation  and  corrupt  officials — in  spite 
of  the  great  fraud  of  a  protective  tariff,  there  is  no 
reason  to  croak  over  future  bankruptcy  or  popular 
repudiation  in  the  United  States.  It  is  true,  the 
aggregate  debt  of  Federal,  State,  and  City  Govern- 
ments, to  say  nothing  of  Railway  corporations,  and 
merchants'  outstanding  bills,  is  enough  to  make 
one's  head  swim ;  but  there  is  always  to  be  taken 
into  account  a  set-off  in  the  unlimited  resources 
of  the  country  to  meet  this  Olympian  obligation. 
Within  five  years  from  this  date  the  United  States 
will  almost  cease  to  be  importers  of  Iron  and  Wine, 
and  become  large  exporters  of  these  costly  com- 
modities. The  same  will  be  true,  in  a  great  degree, 

c 


34  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

of  Coffee,  Tea,  and  Silk.  Within  five  years,  also, 
railways  built  with  European  capital,  many  of 
which  are  now  in  a  very  unsatisfactory  pecuniary 
condition,  will  be  able  to  pay  dividends  and  divide 
bonuses  on  their  shares.  These  are  not  mere  san- 
guine prophecies,  but  simple  mathematical  calcu- 
lations based  on  positive  facts.  Take  the  ratio  of 
increase  at  the  most  moderate  figure,  arid  cipher 
out  the  results.  Apropos  of  railways,  I  am  aware 
that  many  European  readers  of  the  Cosmopolitan 
are  anxiously  waiting  to  hear  something  positive 
and  reliable  in  regard  to  the  "  state  of  Erie." 
This  information  I  am  diligently  seeking,  quite 
independently  of  Captain  Tyler,  and  the  brace  of 
London  accountants,  who  are  just  now  up  to  their 
eyes  in  the  Erie  books.  But  I  am  not  prepared  to 
report  to-day.  Immediately  on  my  arrival  in  New 
York,  two  weeks  ago,  I  wrote  that  Mr  Watson 
would  resign  his  position  as  President  of  the 
Company.  To-day  this  item  of  "  news  "  appears, 
with  comments,  in  all  the  daily  papers.  There  is 
a  grand  "  operation  "  going  on  between  the  Erie 
and  the  Atlantic  and  Great  Western,  which  it  was 
the  object  of  Mr  McHenry's  visit  here  to  initiate, 
and  which  he  has  gone  back  to  London  to  con- 
summate by  obtaining  the  assent  of  the  shareholders. 
Mr  McHenry  is  regarded  here  as  "  master  of  the 
situation."  Combining  his  indomitable  energies 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  35 

and  great  financial  abilities  with  such  "  Powers  " 
as  Commodore  Vanderbilt  and  Colonel  Tom  Scott, 
who  has  just  been  elected  President  of  the  Penn- 
sylvanian  Road,  and  with  whom  he  is  in  cordial 
and  active  alliance,  Mr  McHenry  has  the  game 
all  in  his  own  hands.  These  three  vast  railway 
consolidations,  controlled  by  McHenry,  Vanderbilt, 
and  Scott,  represent  a  capital  of  over  500,000,000 
of  dollars  !  I  fully  believe  this  entire  investment 
will  ultimately  average  a  twenty  per  cent,  dividend. 
All  that  these  great  American  enterprises  want  is 
time  and  confidence  to  pay  splendidly.  We  have 
news  here  to-day  of  the  arrival  of  the  Faraday  at 
Nova  Scotia  with  the  new  Direct  Cable  on  board. 
Everybody  is  asking — Why  was  it  not  laid  in 
coming  across  ?  Are  they  going  to  begin  on  this 
side  to  pay  out?  A  telegram  has  just  come  in 
announcing  that  the  shore-end  is  being  laid  from 
Nova  Scotia  to  Eye  Beach,  New  Hampshire,  and 
there  are  vague  mutterings  from  Washington  that 
Mr  Secretary  Fish  will  not  allow  the  cable  to  land. 
How  is  this  ?  The  English  Company  bought  the 
right  to  land,  conceded  by  Congress  in  1867  to  Mr 
Cornell  Jewett  and  his  associates,  and  surely  Mr 
Fish  will  not  undertake  to  annul  the  Act  of  Con- 
gress !  The  public  need  not  be  surprised  to  learu 
that  this  threatened  interference  on  the  part  of  the 
Government  may  be  used  as  a  sort  of  thumbscrew 


36  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

to  force  the  "  Direct  Cable  Company  "  to  sell  out 
to  the  old  monopoly.  And  thus  our  dream  of  cheap 
cablegrams  may  again  be  disappointed.  But  we 
have  still  another  hope,  a  well-grounded  one,  for 
the  fulfilment  of  this  most  desirable  object :  Van 
Choate's  Atlantic  Cable  Company  is  formed,  with 
the  requisite  concessions  from  no  less  than  five 
European  Governments,  and  the  capital  to  lay  it 
(£2,500,000)  is  already  raised. 


IN  THE  UN J TED  STATES.  37 


CHANGES. 

A  FEW  remarkable  instances  of  individual  trans- 
formations rise  before  me  to-day.  I  will  mention 
no  names,  as  the  features  will  be  readily  recog- 
nised by  at  least  all  American  readers.  In  the 
year  18 — ,  ante  bellum,  a  certain  lieutenant  in  the 
army,  who  had  graduated  at  the  wrong  end  of  his 
class  at  West  Point,  being  stationed  in  the  city 
of  New  York,  was  giving  his  friends  a  good  deal 
of  anxiety  and  trouble  by  his  habits  of  intem- 
perance. That  same  man,  to-day,  occupies  the 
highest  pinnacle  of  political  power,  and  sits 
enthroned  in  the  temple  of  Republican  glory ! 
At  about  the  same  epoch — ante  bettum — a  certain 
lad,  sitting  by  the  driver  of  one  of  Adams  & 
Co.'s  Express  teams,  was  in  the  habit  of  calling 
every  afternoon  at  the  Evening  Mirror  office  for 
copies  of  the  paper  to  distribute  "  along  the 
lines."  To-day,  I  find  that  active  and  intelligent 
"Express-boy"  one  of  the  millionaires  of  New 


38  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

York,  the  bosom  friend  and  favourite  host  ot 
the  President  of  the  United  States !  During 
the  same  period  there  might  have  been  seen, 
for  six  years,  at  the  "  compositor's  case "  in 
the  Mirror  office,  a  most  industrious  young  man, 
earning  from  six  to  twelve  dollars  a  week,  saving 
half  of  that,  by  type-setting.  That  thrifty  youth, 
and  model  "  typo,"  is  now  the  proprietor  of  a 
newspaper  that  yields  him  an  annual  profit  of 
some  £50,000,  and  is  the  owner  of  the  finest 
and  fastest  stud  of  horses  in  the  world,  whose 
stables  are  palaces  !  But  there  is  another  side 
to  these  transformation  pictures.  Men — and 
alas !  women  too — have  fallen  as  well  as  risen 
in  the  world  during  these  tumultuous  times  of 
war  and  change,  of  victory  and  defeat,  of  gain 
and  loss,  of  glory  and  disgrace.  But  I  have 
no  heart  to  sketch  these  pictures  of  sadness,  of 
misfortune,  of  ruin,  and  of  death.  It  is  enough 
to  make  one's  heart  weep  to  meet  old  friends, 
especially  of  the  gentler  and  better  sex,  who, 
one  short  decade  ago,  were  in  the  fullest  enjoy- 
ment of  all  the  blessings  of  health  and  wealth, 
now  reduced  to  abject  want,  unable  to  work, 
ashamed  to  beg,  and  whose  only  hope  is  in 
death  to  relieve  them  of  the  insupportable 
burthen  of  existence.  I  will  quote  the  words 
of  a  lady,  who  shall  be  nameless — a  well-known 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  39 

ante-bellum  belle  of  the  Sunny  South — addressed 
to  an  old  friend  at  a  chance  meeting  yesterday 
in  Union  Square.  "  You  do  not  recognise  me  ? 

I  am    the  sad   remains    of  Madame   S ,   of 

Alabama.  My  Northern  husband  spent  all  my 
fortune ;  then  committed  a  crime,  for  which  he 
was  sentenced  to  five  years  travaux  forces  in 
France.  I  am  penniless.  My  poor  old  mother 
is  confined  to  her  bed.  I  obtained  a  situation 
among  the  dancers  at  Niblo's,  at  one  dollar 
a  week,  to  get  a  little  bread.  The  theatre  is 
now  closed,  and  that  last  resource  is  lost." 
And  this  poor  lady,  when  I  last  saw  her, 
thirteen  years  ago,  was  radiant  in  beauty  and 
sparkling  with  jewels !  I  know  well  the  history 
of  the  brute  this  unhappy  woman  called  her 
husband.  I  shall  never  forget  one  outrageous 
letter  he  had  the  impudence  to  address  to 
General  John  0.  Breckinridge,  in  London, 
abusing  the  Ex-Vice-President  of  the  United 
States  for  "  treason."  The  writer  of  that  in- 
solent and  self-complacent  letter  assumed  infinite 
credit  for  being  "  truly  loyal,"  while  at  the 
same  time  he  was  "  splurging"  all  over  Europe 
on  the  proceeds  of  the  very  robberies  for  which  he 
is  now  undergoing  his  five  years'  term  of  penal 
servitude  in  France.  Our  sense  of  justice  is 
satisfied  in  the  punishment  inflicted  upon  the 


40  TRANSFORM  A  TION  SCENES 

rascal  husband,  while  the  sentiment  of  pity 
weeps  over  the  still  harder  punishment  endured 
by  the  innocent  wife.  In  the  sententious  and 
often  iterated  refrain  of  Horace,  "such  is  life." 
Dropping  the  curtain  on  these  living  chiaro- 
'scuros,  a  minor  chord  of  memory  being  touched, 
let  us  for  a  moment  descend  into  "  the  Valley 
of  the  Shadow  of  Death."  Here  the  transfor- 
mation scene  may  well  "  give  us  pause."  It 
literally  takes  away  one's  breath.  "  Every  old 
friend  I  meet  is  either  dead  or  busted,"  was 
the  Hibernian  remark  that  escaped  my  lips  in 
reply  to  the  question,  "  How  do  you  find  New 
York  ? "  At  a  certain  farewell  dinner,  given 
at  the  New  York  Hotel  on  the  eve  of  my  de- 
parture for  Europe  in  1861,  out  of  the  twenty- 
four  guests  at  the  table  nine  are  in  their  graves. 
The  pleasant  and  familiar  faces  of  Judge  "Whiting, 
Judge  Robertson,  John  Yan  Buren,  Henry  J. 
Raymond,  Charley  May,  Horace  Clarke,  Isaac 
Fowler,  James  T.  Brady,  I  meet  no  more  at 
the  clubs,  in  the  streets,  or  at  the  convivial 
board;  while  scores  of  others  of  less  note,  and 
fewer  years,  are  sleeping  in  "  Greenwood "  or 
in  "  Woodlawn  "  the  sleep  that  knows  no  waking. 
And  yet  in  both  of  these  sweet  cities  of  the  dead 
I  hear  the  same  joyous  music  of  the  birds,  and 
inhale  the  same  delicious  aroma  of  the  flowers. 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  41 

Man  dies,  but  Nature  lives  ;  and  we  recall  the 
sad  lament  of  Mrs  Hemans — 

"  Woe  that  the  Linden  and  the  Vine  should  bloom, 
And  a  just  man  be  gathered  to  the  tomb." 

Of  all  my  senior  contemporaries,  the  venerable 
poet  Bryant,  the  "  Last  Minstrel,"  alone  remains 
at  his  post.  Thurlow  Weed  and  Watson  Webb 
"  still  live,"  but  off  duty,  on  full  pay.  Noah, 
Hale,  Halleck,  Croswell,  Kitchie,  Gales,  King, 
Bennett,  Greeley,  Brooks — all  are  at  rest. 

"  Green  be  the  turf  above  them, 
Friends  of  my  better  days  ! " 

And  Fitzgreene  Halleck,  too,  author  of  the  above 
lines,  and  of  the  immortal  "  Marco  Bozzaris  " — 
he,  too,  is  gone ;  and  Louis  Gaylord  Clarke,  with 
his  inseparable  and  "boon"  companion,  Charley 
Elliott,  the  greatest  portrait-painter  of  modern 
times.  And  Morris  and  Willis,  old  friends  and 
editorial  partners,  a  brace  of  brilliant  poets,  who 
enjoyed  life  so  thoroughly  that  one  could  not  help 
wishing  they  might  live  for  ever,  were  in  the  very 
heyday  flush  of  existence — their  visiting  cards, 
also,  are  tombstones  now.  But  this  will  not  do. 
I  am  getting  blue.  The  "  dead  sleep  well." 
They  need  neither  sympathy  nor  tears,  and  regrets 
are  unavailing.  As  for  old  friends  "  busted," 
God  help  them,  in  a  city  where  the  "almighty 


42  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

dollar  "  is  of  more  consequence  to  personal  con- 
sideration  than  in  any  other  city  in  the  world. 
A  "  dead  beat "  is  a  nuisance  anywhere,  but  in 
money-worshipping  New  York   he    is   worse    off 
than  a  "stump-tail  bull  in  fly-time,"  to  use  the 
forcible  dialect  of  the  country.     I  have  just  met 
a  well-known  citizen,  whose  charitable  donations 
exceed    300,000  dollars    during    the    last    fifteen 
years,    upon   whose    character    there    has    never 
been  a  spot,  blemish,  or  wrinkle,  who,  under  a 
momentary  eclipse  of  fortune,  declares  he  "  does 
not   know  where  he  could  borrow  one  hundred 
dollars."      Truly  "Fortune  is  blind"  as  well  as 
fickle,  and  much  given   to   making   "misdeals." 
There  sat   behind   me    at   the   Hippodrome   last 
night    an     exceedingly    vulgar-looking    woman, 
whose    coarse,    unamiable,    and    ungrammatical 
talk  with  her  little  boy,  whom  she  called  "  Jim 
Fiske,"  attracted  my  attention,  and  her  fingers 
were    covered    with    diamonds    that    a    Duchess 
might    envy!      One    word    touching    Rochefort's 
meteoric  fiasco.     A  compound  rabble   of  French 
refugees,  including  Communists,  Red  Republicans, 
Internationalists,  et  id  Jioc  genus,  attempted,  by 
exhibiting   the  infamous  editor  of  the  scurrilous 
Lanterne  as  a  "lion,"  to  raise  money,  ostensibly 
for  the  "poor  ill-treated  convicts  of  New  Caledonia." 
A  long  rigmarole  of  abuse  of  all  the  better  classes 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  43 

in  France,  got  up  by  Rochefort,  appeared  in  the 
Herald,  by  way  of  advertising  the  performance 
at  the  Academy  of  Music.  There  were  not  five 
hundred  persons  in  the  house,  including  "  dead- 
heads," and  Rochefort  was  so  chagrined  at  his 
lack  of  attraction  to  the  New  York  public,  that 
he  left  at  an  early  hour  the  next  morning  for 
England,  under  the  false  pretence  of  having  re- 
ceived a  "pressing  telegram  from  his  daughter." 
Arrangements  to  lecture  in  Philadelphia  and 
Boston,  where  halls  had  been  engaged,  and 
posters  issued,  were  countermanded.  Instead 
of  raising  "  aid  and  comfort "  for  his  fellow- 
convicts,  the  net  proceeds  of  the  "show"  at 
the  Academy  was  not  enough  to  pay  the  "  Lion's" 
hotel  bill.  America  has  no  sympathy  with  French 
iconoclasts,  and,  least  of  all,  with  the  bloodthirsty 
incendiaries  of  the  Commune.  Rochefort  has 
disgusted  the  entire  press  of  New  York  by  his 
lying  statement  that  "the  war  of  1870  was  a  war 
of  personal  aggrandisement,  and  that  Napoleon 
III.  knowingly  determined  to  sacrifice  the  lives 
of  200,000  men  in  order  to  secure  the  privilege 
of  banishing  500 ! "  This  malignant  and  con- 
ceited agitator  will,  no  doubt,  attempt  to  organise 
mischief,  either  in  England  or  in  Switzerland. 
If  there  is  no  extradition  law  to  reach  such  whole- 
sale criminals  as  he,  there  ought  to  be  one  passed 


44  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

•without  delay.  In  regard  to  the  political  situa- 
tion in  France,  untravelled  Americans  are  hopeful 
for  the  Republic ;  while  the  better-informed  class, 
who  know  something  of  the  French  people  from 
personal  observation,  are  predicting  and  praying 
for  the  restoration  of  the  Empire.  The  candidate 
is  ready,  and  the  people  are  more  than  willing. 
The  grandson  of  Hortense,  the  great-grandson  of 
Josephine,  has  a  lineage  and  a  legend  dear  to  the 
heart  of  France. 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  45 


THE    PARK. 

THE  New  Yorkers  may  well  boast  of  their  Central 
Park.  Its  beauties  are  simply  superlative,  and 
cannot  be  exaggerated.  The  natural  advantages 
of  these  superb  pleasure-grounds — embracing  some 
eight  hundred  acres — are  unequalled  in  any  city  of 
Europe,  while  good  taste  in  embellishment  brings 
the  Park  within  the  domain  of  the  Fine  Arts. 
Excellent  roads,  flourishing  trees,  sparkling  foun- 
tains, placid  lakes,  a  profusion  of  flowers,  with 
here  and  there  a  statue  to  some  cosmopolitan 
demigod,  make  up  a  panorama  equally  pleasant  to 
look  upon  and  to  reflect  upon.  I  know  not  what 
this  great  luxury  has  cost  the  taxpayers  of  New 
York;  but  its  benefits  to  the  people  cannot  be 
estimated  in  dollars  and  cents,  and  the  blessings 
of  posterity  will  flow,  like  an  ever-deepening 
river,  upon  the  memory  of  its  originators.  As 
Sancho  Panza  "  blessed  the  man  who  invented 
sleep,"  I  cannot  refrain  from  a  passing  benedic- 
tion on  the  sweet  air  which  I  breathed  there 


46  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

yesterday,  redolent  of  new-mown  hay  and  the 
"balm  of  a  thousand  flowers.  With  few  excep- 
tions, the  equipages  one  sees  in  the  Park  have  a 
fast,  ambitious,  pretentious  appearance,  altogether 
unlike  the  quiet  dignity  of  Hyde  Park  and  other 
Old  World  drives.  Everybody  is  trying  to  pass 
everybody,  and  both  carriages  and  horses  seem  to  be 
made  for  show  and  speed,  rather  than  for  comfort 
and  endurance.  The  public  caution  against  driving 
in  the  Park  at  a  rate  of  over  seven  miles  an  hour, 
like  too  many  other  laws  and  ordinances  in  this 
country,  is  evidently  a  "dead  letter."  Two  ideas 
seem  to  have  taken  possession  of  the  American 
mind  during  the  past  decade — size  and  speed ; 
vastness  and  rapidity.  For  universal  exponents 
of  these  ideas,  observe  the  horses,  the  houses,  the 
women,  and  the  churches.  The  latter  present  a 
most  striking  feature  in  these  transformation 
scenes.  All  the  little  old  down-town  churches, 
built  in  the  latter  half  of  the  last  century  and  the 
first  half  of  the  present,  have  been  transplanted  to 
the  upper  part  of  the  city,  mostly  in  the  Fifth 
Avenue,  where  they  now  stand  in  grand  expansion 
and  in  full  bloom.  Notwithstanding  the  high 
price  of  lots  in  this  fashionable  locality,  to  use  the 
popular  phrase,  congregations  of  all  denominations 
have  stuck  at  no  cost  to  secure  a  site  for  their 
temples  to in  the  street  of  palaces,  which 


AV  THE  UNITED  STATES.  47 

seems  to  be  regarded  as  the  only  avenue  to 
Paradise — and  "  good  society."  Here  the  Roman 
Catholics  are  building  a  marvellously  fine  marble 
Cathedral,  which  has  more  the  air  of  an  "  effete 
Old  World  institution  "  than  anything  we  have 
ever  seen  in  America.  And  here,  too,  we  find  the 
old  "  Dutch  Reformed  Church,"  disguised  in  such 
a  magnificent  pile  of  "  frozen  music  "  as  to  suggest 
the  propriety  of  changing  its  name  to  the  "Dutch 
Transformed  Church."  On  almost  every  block 
from  Murray  Hill  to  Central  Park  there  towers 
a  lofty,  ornate  "  House  of  God,"  some  of  whose 
spires  reach  as  far  towards  heaven  as  the  law  of 
gravitation  will  permit.  "  The  children  cry  for 
bread,  and  ye  give  them  stones,"  in  the  shape  of 
sumptuous  churches.  We  are  complacently  told 
that  not  less  than  700,000,000  of  dollars  are 
invested  in  the  various  institutions  and  denomina- 
tions of  Religion  in  the  United  States.  And  yet 
the  Almshouses  are  full,  and  Prisons  too — crime 
being  the  natural  offspring  of  poverty.  Certain 
brave  heretics,  of  "  advanced  ideas,"  are  beginning 
to  have  the  courage  to  ask  if  it  would  not  be  wise 
to  devote  a  little  more  attention  to  the  wants  of 
man,  and  a  little  less  pomp  and  circumstance  to 
the  "  glory  of  God,"  who  needs  nothing  from 
human  hands,  not  even  the  poor  lip-service  and 
pious  " praises"  of  miserable  sinners!  Instead 


48  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

of  more  ostentatious  churches,  more  costly  temples 
dedicated  to  "  Him  who  dwelleth  not  in  temples 
made  with  hands,"  the  common  welfare  of  man 
demands  a  multiplication  of  soup-houses,  bath- 
houses, and  school-houses.  To  catch  the  little 
street  Arab,  wash  him,  feed  him,  and  educate  him, 
is  the  first  duty  of  every  community  to  its  pauper 
children.  The  "  wicked  "  proprietor  of  the  New 
York  Herald,  who  gave  30,000  dollars  last  winter 
to  feed  the  starving  poor  of  New  York,  did  more 
real  good  than  all  the  prayers  of  all  the  churches. 
It  is  high  time  that  the  mythologies  and  traditions 
of  musty  "Keligions,"  based  on  ignorance  and 
superstition,  should  be  exploded.  The  most  culti- 
vated intellect  of  the  world  is  logical,  rational, 
and  has  faith  only  in  the  religion  of  practical 
charity,  the  tangible  religion  of  the  soup-house, 
instead  of  the  empty  ceremonies  of  the  church. 
But  I  am  venturing  on  a  transformation  scene  of 
the  future,  and  perhaps  a  little  too  remote  a  future, 
even  for  my  most  cosmopolitan  reader.  The  time 
will  come,  however,  when  these  "  temples  of  God" 
will  be  pointed  to  as  the  follies  of  man,  and  when 
temples  to  humanity  shall  be  everywhere  erected 
instead.  In  those  "  better  days  "  for  the  coming 
race,  disease  and  deformity  will  not  be  allowed  to 
multiply,  and  "  replenish  the  earth  "  with  criminals ; 
but  there  will  be  at  least  as  much  attention  paid 


JN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  49 

to  improving  the  breed  of  man  as  the  breed   of 
horses    and    the    "  lower    animals."      The    world 
moves — the  moral  as  well  as  the  physical  world. 
Only  last  Sunday  the  Eev.  Henry  Ward  Beecher 
rose  to  the  courage  of  his   convictions,  and  de- 
clared   his    disbelief  in    the    Book   of   Genesis, 
including   the   Garden    of  Eden    fable,   and    the 
Mosaic  account  of  the  Creation.     To  come  down 
to    minor    observations.       Tobacco-chewing    and 
squirting    among    gentlemen    is    subsiding.     The 
sidewalks  and  marble  steps  are  no  longer  covered 
with  disgusting  splashes  of  the  yellow  fluid,  and 
the    everlasting    spittoon    is    seldom   inundated. 
European    intercourse,   doubtless,    has  something 
to  do  with  this  reformation.      I  have  been  some- 
what surprised  to    see  so  many  double-breasted 
women   in   New  York ;  and  that,  too,  with  very 
petite  figures.     But   on   reflection — not  investiga- 
tion— I  am  reminded  that  this  is  "  the  land  of 
cotton."     The   ladies    persist   in    the   dirty   and 
extravagant  habit  of  trailing  the  skirts  of  their 
rich   silk  dresses  on  the  filthy  sidewalks.     Why 
indulge  in  this  objectionable   and  uncomfortable 
fashion  ?      Celebrated  for    their  small   feet,   and 
always  bien  chaussee,  it  surely  cannot  be  modesty 
that   prevents    their    showing   them !       La   belle 
Amdricaine  has   not  yet  learned   the  Parisienne's 
bewitching  coquetterie  du  pied.     Eachel  used  to 

D 


5O  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

say  she  could  talk  with  her  feet.  Another 
feminine  caprice  puzzles  me.  With  the  mercury 
among  the  upper  tens,  even  in  the  nineties,  nine 
out  of  every  ten  ladies  I  meet  are  dressed  in  heavy 
black  silk,  which  gives  them  anything  but  an  ice- 
creamy  appearance.  In  the  good  old  ante-bellum 
days,  if  "  Belle  Brittan's  "  jottings  can  be  relied 
on,  Fifth  Avenue  darnes  and  demoiselles  used  to 
promenade  in  light,  diaphanous  robes,  looking  as 
cool,  as  graceful,  and  as  willing  to  be  wooed  as 
zephyrs.  But  times  have  changed,  and  fashions 
too ;  and  men  and  women  most  of  all.  The  Tur- 
kish Bath  has  become  a  "  great  institution  "  in 
New  York,  of  which,  and  my  experience  therein, 
I  shall  have  something  to  say  in  my  next. 


/.V  THE  UNITED  STATES.  5 1 


HEALTH. 

THE  subject  in  which  all  of  us  are  most  deeply 
interested  is  summed  up  in  the  word  health,  which 
happens  to  rhyme  with  the  kindred  word  wealth, 
representing  the  next  "  good  thing  "  which  all  the 
world  is  struggling  to  possess.  Probably  the  two 
greatest  evils  of  life,  always  taking  a  material  view 
of  things,  are  sickness  and  poverty,  the  antitheses 
of  the  two  supreme  blessings.  And  when  poor 
human  nature  is  compelled  to  make  the  pilgrimage 
of  life  between  these  dismal,  ill-matched  companions 
of  suffering  and  penury,  existence  is  but  a  perpetual 
penance,  and  the  grave  a  longed-for  bed  of  rest. 
Of  the  two  "popular  evils,"  sickness  is  worse 
than  poverty.  Many  a  man  of  envied  fortune — 
even  the  miser  who  worships  gold — would  gladly 
exchange  all  he  possesses  in  houses,  lands,  and 
"  securities,"  for  the  robust  health,  savage  appe- 
tite, good  digestion,  and  dreamless  sleep  of  his 
poorest  servant.  Yes,  not  wealth,  but  health, 
is  the  summum  bonum  of  human  existence.  The 


5  2  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

athlete  of  the  Hippodrome  is  a  happier  man  than 
the  octogenarian  of  Wall  Street,  whose  income  is 
''calculated"  at  eight  millions  of  dollars  a  year. 
Would  not  the  veteran  "  Commodore,"  whose  life- 
long fight  for  gold  is  nearly  finished,  give,  not 
only  all  his  income,  but  his  "  principal "  with  it, 
to  be  set  back  in  years  and  health  to  the  condition 
in  which  I  first  knew  him,  thirty-five  years  ago, 
as  the  captain  of  a  small  river  steamboat?  And 
would  any  young  Hercules  of  the  Hippodrome 
exchange  his  moderate  "  living  "  for  Vanderbilt's 
hundred  millions  and  eighty  years  ?  There  is 
nothing  the  world  can  give  in  compensation  for 
health  and  youth.  These  are  Nature's  most  pre- 
cious gifts,  but  only  appreciated  when  irrevocably 
lost, 

"  Like  birds  whose  beauties  languish  half -concealed, 
"When  mounted  on  the  wing,  resplendent  shine  in  azure, 

green,  and  gold, 
So  blessings  brighten  as  they  take  their  flight." 

My  good  old  friend,  John  Carter  Brown,  of 
Providence,  died  yesterday,  leaving  forty  millions 
of  dollars.  All  the  wealth  of  Brown  and  Ives 
could  not  purchase  him  a  substitute  when  drafted 
by  that  universal  recruiting-officer  who  knocks  at 
every  door.  No  man  can  preserve  his  youth,  nor 
escape  the  marks  of  "  Time's  effacing  fingers." 

We   cannot,  as  dear   Charles   Lamb  lamented, 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  53 

"  lay  our  ineffectual  fingers  upon  the  spokes  of 
the  great  wheel,"  and  stop  where  we  are.  Grow- 
ing old  is  a  part  of  the  inevitable  programme  of 
life.  It  belongs  to  the  natural  process  of  grada- 
tion by  which  Nature  accomplishes  all  her  work, 
never  doing  anything  abruptly.  Men  grow,  and 
bud,  and  blossom,  and  bear  fruit,  or  live  barren, 
like  the  trees,  and  then,  also  like  the  trees,  fade, 
and  fall,  and  disappear.  We  have  only  to  accept 
the  situation ;  or,  as  Margaret  Fuller  said  to 
Carlyle,  "  accept  the  universe."  But  while  youth, 
the  beauty  of  efflorescence,  cannot  be  long  re- 
tained— the  flowers  of  spring  must  give  place  to 
the  fruits  of  autumn — health  is  a  perennial  plant 
that  may  be  conserved  even  to  a  "  green  old  age." 
And  yet,  how  rarely  do  we  see  men,  advanced  in 
life,  like  the  veterans  of  the  forest,  in  a  state  of 
healthy  decay,  to  use  a  paradox,  dying  gracefully, 
leaf  by  leaf!  The  world  is  full  of  doctors,  and 
the  cities  reek  with  drug-shops.  Hence  the 
universal  sickness,  the  innumerable  "  complaints," 
with  which  the  distressed  atmosphere  is  thickened 
and  infected.  Man  was  not  made  to  be  sick,  nor 
to  spend  his  life  in  groaning  and  mourning. 
What  mas  he  made  for  then,  to  repeat  the  ever- 
lasting conundrum  of  the  ages?  I  suppose  man 
was  made,  like  all  other  organised  beings,  both 
animal  and  vegetable,  for  the  simple  gratification 


54  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

of  the  Creative  Power.  Here  I  will  hold  up,  and 
come  to  the  practical  question  of  health,  which 
greatly  concerns  us  all,  especially  those  who  have 
abused  it,  neglected  it,  lost  it,  and  are  now  run- 
ning all  over  the  world  seeking  to  regain  it. 
No  one's  testimony  in  the  witness-hox  is  of  any 
value  unless  he  speaks  of  what  he  actually  knows 
from  experience  and  observation.  Therefore,  in 
what  I  have  to  say  on  the  subject  of  health  I  must 
be  personal.  I  left  London  one  month  ago,  feel- 
ing miserably  ill,  after  nine  years  of  "  hard  labour 
and  close  confinement"  on  the  treadmill  of  a 
weekly  newspaper.  For  nearly  three  years  I  had 
not  even  inhaled  a  breath  of  country  or  sea-air. 
The  result  of  all  this  over-work  and  incessant 
care  was,  naturally  enough,  torpidity  of  the 
liver,  loss  of  appetite,  a  dull  pain  in  the  head, 
feverish  dreams,  depression  of  spirits,  and  a  sort 
of  disagreeable  all-overness.  (Many  a  reader 
knows  how  it  is  himself.)  The  only  alternative 
was  to  break  away,  or  break  down.  My  good 
friends  insisted  on  the  former  as  the  wiser  con- 
clusion, consoling  me  with  the  assurance  that 
change  of  scene  and  comparative  rest  would 
soon  repair  the  "  editorial  machine,"  and  enable 
it  to  "work  all  the  better  for  indefinite  years  to 
come."  The  rest  on  board  ship,  and  the  pure, 
invigorating  ozone  of  the  sea,  proved  a  most 


IN  THE  UNITED  S  TA  TES.  5  5 

beneficent  medicine.  But  something  more  was 
wanting,  something  radical  and  revolutionary,  and 
this  I  have  found  in  the  Turkish  Bath.  Scarcely 
had  I  arrived  in  New  York,  when  that  marvellous 
specimen  of  humanity,  George  Francis  Train, 
called  with  a  kind  invitation  from  Dr  Miller, 
of  West  Twenty-sixth  Street,  to  come  and  try 
his  "  water  cure,"  endorsed  with  what  I  may  call 
a  peremptory  mandate  from  Mr  Train  himself, 
who  claims  to  have  the  power  of  "pschycologising  " 
people,  and  curing  all  who  yield  their  "  wills  " 
to  his  in  childlike  obedience  and  faith.  "  Two 
Turkish  Baths  a  day,"  said  Train,  with  absolute 
imperiousness,  "  or  you  are  a  dead  man  within 
thirty  days.  Do  as  I  say,  and  you  will  get  well 
in  that  time.  I  care  enough  for  you  to  cure  you, 
and  you  are  about  the  only  man  I  care  as  much 
for-  I  have  outgrown  all  limitations,  all 
interests,  all  associations,  all  intellects.  I  am 
above  the  dictatorship ;  great  enough  to  refuse  it 
if  offered  me  to-day.  Health  is  the  only  good. 
Cleanliness,  if  next  to  godliness,  is  next  above  that 
sharn  virtue.  I  have  taken  two  Turkish  Baths  a 
day  for  seven  months,  three  Electric  Baths  a 
week,  and  have  eaten  no  meat  in  all  this  time. 
I  am  the  healthiest  man  in  the  nation,  the  only 
absolutely  healthy  man."  And  certainly  Train's 


56  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

splendid  physical  condition,  and  perfect  "form," 
as  they  say  in  England,  fully  endorse  all  his 
encomiums  on  the  Bath.  I  tried  the  Miller 
panacea — two  a  day,  at  six  o'clock  A.M.,  and 
at  five  o'clock  P.M. — for  seven  days,  and  since 
then  one  a  day  for  two  weeks,  in  all  some  thirty 
baths.  The  effect  has  been  highly  beneficial ;  but 
I  attribute  as  much  of  the  "  improvement  "  to  the 
rigid  regimen  as  to  the  regular  bathing.  Farina- 
ceous food,  with  no  wine  or  spirits,  persistently 
adhered  to  for  three  or  four  weeks,  is  change 
enough  to  revolutionise  almost  any  one's  "  depart- 
ment of  the  interior."  It  requires  some  courage 
during  this  hot  weather  to  enter  a  room  at  160° 
Fahrenheit,  and  while  pouring  down  ice-water  by 
the  quart  to  pour  out  an  equal  quantity  of  tepid 
water  through  the  five  millions  of  pores  in  the 
cuticle ;  yet  after  the  "  grooming,"  a  delicious 
sense  of  coolness,  cleanness,  and  drowsiness,  more 
than  compensates  for  the  brief  purgatory  we  have 
to  pass  in  order  to  reach  this  Turkish  paradise. 
Dr  Miller's  establishment  is  in  great  vogue  in 
New  York.  People  here  seem  to  be  recognising 
the  Religion  of  Health  as  the  newest  and  best  of 
all  the  Gospels,  with  Miller  for  its  priest  and 
Train  for  its  prophet.  I  will  close  with  two 
questions  of  cosmopolitan  interest :  Is  there  any 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  57 

blessing  equal  to  health?  Can  there  be  health 
without  cleanness  ?  As  one  of  our  own  poets  has 
said — 

"  Even  from  tbe  body's  purity 
The  mind  receives  a  kindly,  sympathetic  aid." 


5  8  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENRS 


TR  U  TH. 

ASSOCIATED  with  Miller's  Religion  of  Health  there 
has  recently  arisen,  to  use  an  Orientalism,  a  new 
Apostle  of  Truth.  William  Henry  Swartwout  is 
the  name  of  which  the  world  is  destined  to  hear 
much  in  the  present  age,  and  still  more  in  the 
future.  Mr  Swartwout,  until  lately,  was  an  active 
and  successful  business  man,  a  manufacturer,  but 
who,  like  Saul  of  Tarsus  on  the  road  to  Damascus, 
has  suddenly  encountered  a  great  awakening  light 
"  above  the  brightness  of  the  sun,"  and  now  claims 
to  be  inspired  by  the  infinite  and  eternal  Soul  of 
Truth,  which  compels  him  to  speak  the  words  of 
Truth  and  obey  the  voice  of  Truth,  at  all  times,  in 
all  places,  and  on  all  occasions,  and  he  is  about  to 
solve  the  problem  whether  a  man  can  do  so  and 
live  in  these  electro-plated  days  of  shams,  hypo- 
crisies, and  false  pretences.  It  is  a  comparatively 
easy  thing  to  utter  the  truth,  and  nothing  but  the 
truth ;  but  when  it  comes  to  the  whole  truth — the 
time  has  not  yet  come  for  that — crucifixion  of  both 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  59 

body  and  soul  is  the  penalty  of  the  present,  as  well 
as  the  past,  for  all  who  dare  to  publish  the  "  naked 
truth."  Mr  Swartwout  is  a  member  of  Dr  Adams' 
Presbyterian  Church,  one  of  the  fashionable  con- 
gregations of  New  York,  and  they  have  already 
taken  steps  to  oust  this  dangerous  disciple  of  Truth 
from  their  consecrated  fold.  No  fault  can  be  found 
with  his  life,  his  "good  works,"  his  strictly  tem- 
perate habits;  but  the  simple  truths  he  speaks, 
upsetting  all  the  old  traditions  and  superstitions 
of  orthodoxy,  these  good  "  Church  members " 
cannot  bear.  "  Christianity  in  its  primitive  purity 
is  a  good  thing,"  says  Swartwout ;  "  let  us  practise 
it."  And  the  simple  proposition  sets  the  Church 
on  fire  with  indignation.  "  Away  with  him,  away 
with  him !  "  is  the  sentence  of  the  pious  pastor,  and 
the  whole  congregation  join  in  the  chorus.  But 
this  emancipated  Christian,  whom  the  Church  to- 
day rejects,  may  yet  become  the  chief  corner-stone 
in  the  Church  of  the  future,  on  whose  temples, 
dedicated  to  Humanity,  shall  be  engraved,  in  two 
words,  the  one  omnipotent  creed  that  redeems  the 
world  and  solves  all  enigmas — Love  and  Truth. 
In  proof  that  he  is  "not  disobedient  unto  the 
heavenly  vision,"  this  new  Minister  of  the  new 
Gospel  has  sold  all  he  possessed  and  renounced 
all  social  considerations  to  follow  Truth.  In  pre- 
paration for  his  great  mission  he  does  not  seek  the 


6O  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

solitude  of  the  mountain  nor  the  sadness  of  the 
desert,  but  proposes  to  arm  himself  with  practical 
knowledge  by  making  a  trip  around  the  world,  in 
order  to  obtain  a  comprehensive  idea  of  the  great 
family  of  man  in  all  its  present  conditions  and 
past  epochs.  Mr  Swartwout  is  a  thorough  cos- 
mopolitan, having  outgrown  the  limitations  and 
the  prejudices  of  nationalities,  races,  and  sects,  as 
well  as  all  mere  social  accidents,  which  rank  men 
in  tiers  and  classes  one  above  another.  To  ac- 
company him  in  his  expedition  of  observation  and 
note-taking,  Mr  Swartwout  has  selected  the  follow- 
ing "  assistants  : " — George  Francis  Train,  the 
greatest  traveller  of  this  or  any  other  age,  as 
Courier ;  E.  P.  Miller,  Philosopher  of  Health ; 
W.  E.  McMaster,  the  well-known  portrait-painter 
and  journalist  as  Artist ;  Col.  Fuller,  Editor  of 
the  Cosmopolitan,  as  Historiographer.  A  some- 
what remarkable  book  may  be  looked  for  as  the  re- 
sult of  this  extraordinary  "combination  of  talent." 
Mr  Swartwout  proposes  to  start  on  his  spheroidal 
voyage  about  the  middle  of  July,  journeying  with 
the  sun,  from  New  York  to  San  Francisco,  thence 
to  Japan,  China,  India,  Asia,  Europe,  arriving  in 
England  about  the  first  of  November  next.  The 
journey  of  25,000  miles  can  be  accomplished  in 
100  days,  at  the  average  rate  of  250  miles  a  day, 
and,  according  to  Jules  Verne,  the  trip  has  been 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  6 1 

made  in  80  days,  or  rather  in  79,  a  day  being 
gained  by  travelling  against  the  sun.  Having  an- 
nounced the  discovery  of  a  new  risen  star  in  the 
West  to  our  readers  of  both  hemispheres,  and 
intimated  the  possibility  of  a  new  Round  the 
World  Book  for  the  coming  Christmas,  I  have  a 
few  more  words  to  say  of  Miller's  Bath  Hotel,  the 
birthplace  of  the  New  Dispensation.  Mr  Train 
imputes  to  the  Miller  system  of  health  an  entire 
revolution  in  his  own  feelings,  character,  politics, 
and  purposes.  This  exuberant,  eloquent,  epigram- 
matic, and  loquacious  lusus  of  humanity  has  become, 
under  the  subduing  influence  of  two  Turkish  Baths 
a  day,  thoughtful,  silent,  and  contented.  Having 
abstained  all  his  life  from  indulgence  in  wine, 
spirits,  and  tobacco,  "  his  purified  system,"  now 
rejects  all  animal  food,  including  even  eggs  and 
fish.  And  yet  on  a  diet  of  farinaceous  food  and 
fruits  he  is  all  the  while  gaining  physical  strength. 
"  Horses,"  says  Train,  "  eat  no  meat."  That  the 
Turkish  Bath  does  not  make  man  physically  weaker 
we  have  abundant  proof  in  the  "  experts"  who 
pass  ten  to  twelve  hours  a  day,  most  of  the  time 
in  rooms  at  a  temperature  of  150°  to  160°  Fah- 
renheit. One  of  Miller's  experts,  a  young  English- 
man, rather  below  the  medium  size,  who  during 
the  last  ten  years  has  manipulated  some  70,000 
persons,  enjoys  perfect  health,  and  can  lift  700  Ibs. 


62  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

The  female  experts,  who  also  serve  as  table-waiters, 
are  the  purest  and  healthiest-looking  women  I  have 
seen  in  America.  With  all  these  living  testimo- 
nials in  favour  of  the  Turkish  Bath,  I  wish  to 
withdraw  a  remonstrance  I  once  made  to  a  lady 
in  London,  who  wrote  me  "  she  was  taking  a 
Turkish  Bath  every  day,"  that  "  she  would  wash 
all  the  sweetness  out  of  her."  Tout  au  contraire, 
it  is  only  the  impurities  of  the  system  that  eva- 
porate under  this  sweltering  temperature.  The 
average  number  of  bathers  at  Miller's  is  about  one 
hundred  a  day,  and  the  luxury  only  costs  5s., 
which  is  better  than  paying  a  guinea  to  the 
"  doctor,"  who  looks  at  your  tongue,  feels  your 
pulse,  and  orders  a  dose  of  purgative  poison  for 
the  benefit  of  his  pharmaceutical  friend.  I  believe 
a  discount  is  made  to  the  guests  residing  in  the 
hotel,  which  embraces  three  first-class  houses  in 
West  Twenty-sixth  Street,  and  is  one  of  the  cheap- 
est and  best  hotels  in  New  York.  The  proprietor 
contemplates  a  building  of  great  magnitude,  con- 
structed solely  for  health  and  comfort.  It  would 
not  be  a  bad  idea  for  A.  T.  Stewart  to  convert  his 
unfinished  "Asylum"  in  the  Fourth  Avenue  into 
an  immense  Free  Bath  establishment.  This  sug- 
gestion may  also  be  commended  to  Mr  James  Lick, 
who  has  recently  executed  his  own  Will  by  giving 
millions  to  the  Charities  of  San  Francisco.  Mr 


JN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  63 

Stewart's  magnificent  marble  pile  is  a  standing 
mystery  to  the  people  of  New  York,  no  progress 
having  been  made  towards  its  completion  for  the 
last  two  or  three  years.  But  Mr  Stewart  is  doing 
a  work  of  glorious  fame  at  his  Garden  City  on 
Long  Island,  which  ought  to  be  called  Stewartville 
in  honour  of  the  founder.  The  houses  are  of  three 
uniform  classes — for  men  of  wealth,  for  men  of 
moderate  incomes,  and  for  the  poor  who  have  to 
work  for  daily  bread.  The  streets  of  this  ideal 
City  are  broad  boulevards,  lined  with  trees,  and 
twenty-five  years  hence  it  will  no  doubt  be  one  of 
the  most  attractive  places  in  America.  This  is  a 
sort  of  monument  worthy  of  the  noblest  ambition. 
Mr  Stewart,  who  has  reached  the  allotted  mile- 
stone of  threescore  and  ten,  is  estimated  to  be 
worth  from  £10,000,000  to  £20,000,000,  and  has 
no  children.  Why  not,  like  the  California  mil- 
lionaire, "  administer  "  his  own  estate  ?  How  much 
"good"  he  might  accomplish  by  bestowing  a 
million  or  two  on  some  brave,  high-toned  news- 
paper, devoted  to  the  propagation  of  cosmopolitan 
ideas ;  and  what  a  grand  obituary  he  would  have ! 


64  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 


MONEY. 

THE  suspension  of  the  old  conservative  banking- 
house  of  Turner  Brothers  has  created  equal  surprise 
and  regret  in  Wall  Street.  This  eminently  respect- 
able firm,  consisting  of  six  industrious  brothers, 
was  established  in  1844,  and  has  sustained  a  high 
character  for  integrity,  prudence,  and  solidity,  for 
thirty  years,  having  passed  through  many  panics 
unshaken.  After  the  financial  tornado  of  last 
autumn  it  was  generally  believed  that  all  the  Wall 
Street  firms  left  standing  were  "  good  "  for  many 
years  to  come,  and  none  were  regarded  with  more 
confidence  than  the  name  of  Turner  Brothers. 
That  they  should  be  compelled  to  stop  payment 
when  money  was  "  a  drug  in  the  market,"  at  2 
per  cent,  a  year,  "  at  call/'  took  the  street  by  sur- 
prise. The  firm  has  not  yet  made  any  official  state- 
ment of  their  affairs,  but  it  is  generally  understood 
that  "  advances  "  to  a  Western  Railroad  Company, 
to  the  amount  of  some  1,500,000  dols.,  is  the  cause 
of  their  collapse — a  repetition  of  the  law  of  cause 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  65 

and  effect  which  brought  down  Jay  Cooke  &  Co., 
Henry  Clews  &  Co.,  and  Fisk  &  Hatch.  This 
latter  firm  are  now  paying  off  their  debts  in  an- 
ticipation of  the  time  fixed  in  their  "  extension 
agreement."  Although  there  is  a  great  "  tendency 
downwards"  in  Wall  Street,  yet  with  the  approach- 
ing adjournment  of  Congress,  when  tinkering  at 
finance  laws  will  be  suspended  for  a  few  months,  a 
general  revival  of  business  is  expected.  The  crops 
of  all  descriptions,  and  in  all  sections  of  the 
country,  are  full  of  promise.  It  is  estimated  that 
the  surplus  wheat  crop  of  California  this  year  will 
exceed  the  average  wheat  export  of  Russia.  There 
is  great  agricultural  prosperity  also  in  Texas,  which 
I  have  long  regarded  as  the  most  attractive  State 
in  the  Union  for  European  emigration.  It  has  no 
debt,  and  can  easily  supply  the  world  with  cotton, 
corn,  and  cattle.  Therefore,  although  business  is 
dull,  I  have  no  sympathy  with  the  croakers  who 
are  all  the  time  predicting  financial  disasters. 
The  United  States  possess  exceptional  and  unlimited 
resources.  The  people  are  not  confined  to  the 
ordinary  products  of  agriculture  and  manufactures, 
as  in  France  and  most  other  countries  ;  but  they 
dig  no  end  of  material  wealth  out  of  the  earth  in 
the  form  of  precious  metals.  From  statistics  now 
before  me,  I  find  that  the  aggregate  yield  of  the 
last  quarter  of  a  century  reaches  the  stupendous 


66  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

mm  of  1,583,644,934  dollars.  Of  this,  California 
produced  about  three-fourths,  or  1,094,919,098, 
nearly  all  of  which  was  in  gold.  Nevada  has  pro- 
duced in  gold  and  silver,  but  chiefly  in  the  latter, 
221,402,412  dollars.  Most  of  this  has  come  from 
the  wonderful  Comstock  lode.  Utah,  which  has 
but  recently  begun  to  be  developed,  is  credited 
with  18,527,537  dollars,  Montana  with  119,308,147 
dollars.  Idaho  has  contributed  57,249,1 17  dollars, 
and  Colorado  30,000,000  dollars.  Oregon  and 
Washington  territories  have  given  25,504,250  dol- 
lars, and  British  Columbia  9.000,000  dollars. 
Arizona,  which  is  just  beginning  to  be  worked, 
will  probably  prove  the  richest  region  of  all.  The 
increased  yield  last  year  was  about  14  per  cent., 
being  80,287,436  against  70,236,914  dollars  in  1872. 
A  country  with  these  immense  resources  is  not 
likely  to  have  much  difficulty  in  paying  the 
"  balance  of  trade ;"  and  as  this  balance  is  now 
turning  in  favour  of  the  United  States,  there  is  a 
good  prospect  of  paying  off  the  entire  National 
Debt  within  the  next  twenty  years.  The  whole 
amount  of  the  debt,  some  2,200,000,000  of  dollars, 
will,  no  doubt,  be  gathered  from  the  various  gold 
and  silver  mines  of  the  West  before  another  ten 
years  come  round.  While,  therefore,  it  is  the  duty 
of  the  publicist  and  the  economist  to  protest 
against  public  corruption  and  private  extravagance 


IN  THE  UNITED  STA  TES.  6/ 

in  money  matters,  there  is  no  lack  of  good  and 
substantial  reasons  for  taking  a  hopeful  view  of 
the  financial  future  of  the  Republic.  The  popu- 
lation and  wealth  of  the  country  are  rapidly 
increasing,  and  the  National  Debt  is  diminishing 
at  the  rate  of  50,000,000  dollars  a  year.  George 
Francis  Train,  who,  in  his  present  taciturn  mood, 
represents  one  of  the  most  remarkable  "  Trans- 
formation Scenes  "  I  have  met  in  America,  still 
insists,  when  he  deigns  to  speak,  that  evil  days 
are  coming.  In  a  state  of  general  disgust,  with 
himself,  and  everything  else,  he  finds  rottenness 
and  corruption  everywhere.  And  yet  he  has  a 
practical  eye  to  the  future,  as  the  following  letter, 
just  posted  to  the  forty-eight  New  York  Savings 
Banks,  will  show.  I  am  inclined  to  think  that  the 
American  Eagle  is  only  moulting,  and  that  when 
new  fledged  with  his  Omaha  feathers  he  will  scream 
louder  than  ever  : — 

"  To  the  Savings  Banks  of  New  York  and  Brooklyn. 

"  The  two  hundred  millions  deposited  in  the  names  of  half  a 
million  working-men  in  the  New  York  and  Brooklyn  Savings 
Banks  I  am  afraid  is  more  or  less  locked  up.  A  thousand 
Turkish  Baths  have  put  me  in  savage  health,  by  eradicating 
the  miasma  and  poison  of  the  Tombs.  I  am  besieged  by  the 
bears  and  speculators  to  lecture  at  the  Academy  and  through- 
out the  country,  at  dollar  tickets,  on  these  questions : — 1. 
Does  the  money  on  deposit  really  belong  to  the  working  men 
and  women  ?  2.  In  time  of  panic,  financial  disaster,  and  par- 


68  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

alysed  industry,  have  depositors  a  right  to  draw  out  their 
own  money  1  3.  Should  they  call  for  it  on  my  portraying  the 
condition  of  affairs  on  a  black-board  in  the  lecture-halls,  what 
would  be  the  chances  of  their  finding  the  money  available  ? 
4.  In  case  it  was  not  forthcoming,  and  Grant  having  peremp- 
torily shut  off  all  relief  in  case  of  another  crisis,  would  there 
be  any  danger  from  a  Communistic  rising  of  enraged  depositors, 
of  burning  the  city,  or  resorting  to  personal  violence  against 
those  who  had  squandered  their  hard-earned  wages  ?  I  have 
never  spoken  since  the  Tombs  outrage  on  liberty,  although  I 
suppose  I  could  take  thirty  thousand  dollars  the  coming 
season  in  arousing  the  people  to  the  coming  disasters  of 
plague,  panic,  repudiation,  and  civil  war  ;  but  you  will  see  by 
the  enclosed  that  I  wish  to  leave  the  country  for  my  fourth 
trip  round  the  world.  Before  starting,  as  money  is  quoted  at 
2  and  3  per  cent.,  I  wish  to  negotiate  a  mortgage  on  my  Omaha 
property.  I  own  between  four  and  five  hundred  acres  of  city 
lots — say  five  thousand  (N.Y.  size) — within  the  city  limits,  on 
which  I  will  give  you  a  first  mortgage,  and  an  undisputed 
title,  for  a  loan,  for  a  term  of  years,  for  one  hundred  thousand 
dollars.  The  property,  properly  advertised,  should  sell,  even 
in  these  days  of  stagnation,  for  several  times  that.  As  I  do 
not  wish  to  speak  again,  I  write  this  to  ask  at  what  rate  you 
will  advance  the  sum  stated.  I  shall  not  require  any  portion 
of  it  before  the  1st  of  next  January,  and  the  balance  will  not 
be  wanted  before  January  1st,  1876.  My  Wall  Street  bankers 
will  show  you  the  record  of  a  clear  title,  and  any  Omaha 
capitalist  will  certify  as  to  the  value  of  the  security.  Will 
you  oblige  me  with  an  early  answer] 

GKO.  FRANCIS  TRAIN, 

"  MILLER'S  TURKISH  BATH  HOTEL, 

41  W.  26th  St.,  N.Y. 

June  18,  1874." 

Apropos  of  his  extraordinary  "  evolutions  "  in 
body  and  mind,  which  Train  attributes  to  Miller's 
Baths  and  farinaceous  food,  the  following  capital 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  69 

letter  of  remonstrance  from  Ins  legal  adviser, 
Clark  Bell,  one  of  the  leading  lawyers  of  New 
York,  contains  enough  of  both  wit  and  argument 
to  entitle  it  to  a  permanent  record  in  the  columns 
of  the  Cosmopolitan : — • 

"DEAR  GEORGE  FRANCIS  TRAIN, — I  look  upon  your  attempt 
to  make  yourself  fat  with  no  little  interest,  and  shall  watch  your 
progress  to  triumphant  obesity  without  concern  or  dismay. 
Your  feet  not  being  divided  or  cloven,  you  are  not  naturally 
a  granivorous  animal.  Vegetables  and  grains  soonest  make 
fat  and  fill  up  the  cellular  tissue.  If  we  wish  a  fat  ox,  we 
confine  him  wholly  to  vegetable  food  and  grains  ;  ditto  of 
the  swine.  When  I  saw  you  yesterday,  you  had  commenced 
growing  fat.  I  never  saw  you  with  so  much  of  the  super- 
fluous. Eat  largely  of  bread  and  sugar,  and  you  will  grow  fat 
sooner.  Read  Bantam,  and  he  will  teach  you  many  things  in 
this  rare  struggle.  The  lion  living  on  meat  never  grows  fat, 
and  is  emblematic  of  courage  and  strength.  The  whole  feline 
family  develop  muscle,  tenacity,  and  even  ferocity,  without 
adipose  matter,  hating  grains,  and  only  tasting  vegetables  as 
a  medicine,  or  a  preventative.  In  agriculture  we  place  our 
prize  animals  in  close  quarters,  give  them  little  exercise,  and 
only  grain  and  vegetables  to  eat.  They  soon  generate 
carbon,  and  become  puffed  up  with  fatness.  In  all  rdles  you 
have  won  distinction  and  commanded  success.  How  it  will 
be  in  this  race  for  ponderosity  I  do  not  know  ;  but  I  doubt 
not  you  will  win  as  before.  You  must  not,  however,  always 
be  saddened  by  the  reflection  that  while  you  may  become  a 
second  Daniel  Lambert,  you  cannot  make  of  yourself  the  first 
fat  man.  There  is  a  Fat  Man's  Club,  to  which  I  shall  soon 
expect  you  to  clamour  for  executive  honours.  I  do  not  know 
how  long  you  have  been  cramming,  but  I  can  see,  and  did 
see,  the  enormous  change  in  you  yesterday.  You  must  be 
gaining  in  fat  alone  from  2J  Ibs.  to  5  Ibs.  a  week.  The  scales 
are  near  you  ;  try  them,  and  record  your  progress.  Fatness  is 


7O  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

not  necessary  to  human  greatness,  for  you  are  already  great 
without  it.  It  is  not  an  accessory  or  aid  even  to  genius.  For 
a  man  who  has  become  ennuied  of  all  the  successes  of  life, 
blase  of  the  world,  bilious  of  the  hour,  degotite  of  time  arid 
denies  eternity,  I  know  no  more  fit  refuge  than  the  otium  cum 
dignitate  of  laughing  and  growing  fat.  Go  on,  granivorous 
and  vegetable  seeker  after  truth,  quiet,  and  repose.  Build  up 
the  cellular,  lay  on  the  adipose,  so  that  if  cremation  comes, 
you  will  make  a  good  fire  and  burn  with  a  blaze,  without 
either  kindling  or  kerosene.— I  remain,  watching,  faithfully 
yours,  CLARK  BELL. 

"NEW  YORK,  May  18, 1874." 

The  point  of  the  joke  is  to  be  picked  from  the 
fact  that  Train  has  a  horror  of  growing  fat. 
According  to  the  weighing  record  of  the  Bath 
Hotel,  when  he  entered  the  establishment  seven 
months  ago,  his  weight  was  217  Ibs.  To-day  he 
rejoices  in  203  Ibs.,  a  decrease  of  14  Ibs.  But  this 
falling  off  in  "  adipose  matter "  he  attributes  to 
other  causes  than  abstinence  from  animal  food. 
On  this  question  Mr  Bell  has  decidedly  the  best 
of  the  argument.  There  is  no  doubt  that  a 
carnivorous  diet  will  make  men  lean,  and  that 
granivorous  food  will  make  them  fat.  Neither 
is  there  any  doubt  that  Nature  made  man  an 
omnivorous  animal ;  and  Nature  is  wiser  than 
the  doctors. 


SN  THE  UNITED  STATES. 


CONGRESS. 

ON  Monday,  June  21st,  President  Grant  signed 
the  Currency  Bill,  the  most  important  Act  of  the 
last  Session  of  Congress,  and  stocks  in  Wall  Street 
instantly  jumped  from  2  to  5  per  cent.  The  reason 
of  the  rise  was  owing,  not  so  much  to  approbation 
of  the  measure,  as  to  the  general  satisfaction  that 
the  volume  of  currency  was  finally  "  fixed,"  and 
that  the  question  of  expansion  or  contraction  was 
no  longer  left  to  the  caprice  of  the  Treasury 
Department.  The  Bill  is  by  no  means  in  accord- 
ance with  the  President's  famous  "Memorandum" 
addressed  to  Senator  Jones,  which  was  regarded  as 
a  Veto  in  advance ;  but  it  gives  the  business  public 
a  definite  basis  to  stand  on,  at  least  until  the 
meeting  of  Congress  in  December.  And  this 
positive  benefit  is  everywhere  hailed  with  satisfac- 
tion. The  "  Bulls  "  of  the  Stock  Exchange,  for 
the  first  time  in  ten  months,  are  particularly  hope- 
ful and  happy.  Only  a  few  weak  and  obstinate 
"  Bears,"  in  attempting  to  resist  the  "  upward 


?2  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

tendency,"    have    succumbed.      Altogether,     the 
change  in  the  street  during  the  last  three  or  four 
days  amounts  to  a  veritable  transformation.      On 
the  22d  June  Congress  adjourned,  and  the  nation 
drew  a  long  breath.     This  and  all  other  countries 
suffer  more  from  over-legislation  than  from  lack  of 
legislation.     Half-a-dozen  fundamental  laws  are 
quite  enough  for  the  government  of  men,  and  of 
empires  ;  and  if  all  the  statute-books  in  existence 
were  burned,  and  only  the  Golden  Rule  left,  there 
would  be  more  justice,  if  less  law,  in  the  admini- 
stration of  affairs,  both  public  and  private.      On 
the  whole,  the  people  seem  well  contented  with 
what  Congress  has  done,  still  more  so  with  what 
it  has  not  done.      There  has  been  an  aggregate 
diminution  of  27,000,000  dollars   in  the  general 
"  appropriations,"  which  may  be  credited  to  the 
account  of  national  economy,  a  gratifying  item  for 
the   taxpayer.      The   District    of    Columbia   Ring 
has  been  broken  up,   although  the  debts  of  the 
District,  which  the  nation  will  have  to  pay,  are 
something  like  30,000,000  dollars.     Strange  to  say, 
under    the    new  law,  providing    for   three    Com- 
missioners to  govern  the  Capital  Territory  of  ten 
miles  square,  the  President  had  the  audacity  to 
nominate   "  Boss   Shepherd,"  the   deposed  Ring- 
leader, as  Chairman !     No  Presidential  act  in  the 
whole    history  of   the   Government  has    ever    so 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  73 

shocked  and  surprised  the  people  as  this.  The 
Senate,  composed  of  a  large  majority  of  the 
President's  political  friends,  indignantly  rejected 
the  nomination  by  a  vote  of  36  to  6.  The 
President's  motive  for  thus  insulting  the  common 
sense  of  the  country  is  variously  conjectured. 
Grant's  personal  friends  attribute  it  to  a  sort  of 
dogged  devotion  to  a  bosom  crony  against  a 
perfect  deluge  of  popular  obloquy.  And  with  this 
best  of  all  possible  excuses  for  the  outrageous 
nomination,  I  will  leave  the  matter,  to  be  revived 
with  telling  effect  when  the  question  of  a  Third 
Term  comes  up.  In  calling  Mr  Hale  into  his 
Cabinet,  as  Postmaster-General,  in  place  of  Mr 
Creswell,  resigned,  the  President  has  given  great 
satisfaction  to  all  parties ;  and  this  may  be  said, 
also,  of  the  nomination  of  Mr  Cattell,  in  place  of 
Shepherd,  rejected,  which  was  unanimously  con- 
firmed by  the  Senate.  Mr  Cattell,  late  United 
States  Senator  from  New  Jersey,  is  favourably 
known  in  London  as  Government  agent  for  the 
conversion  of  United  States  6's  into  5's.  For  some 
two  months  there  will  be  a  lull  in  politics ;  and 
yet  every  watering-place  will  be  a  sort  of  caucus 
for  settling  the  preliminaries  of  the  "fall  campaign" 
for  the  election  of  representatives  to  the  next 
Congress.  It  is  generally  predicted,  even  by  the 
Republicans,  that  the  Democrats,  or  Conservatives, 


74  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

will  have  a  decided  majority  in  the  Congress  of 
1876.  If  Grant  is  really  "laying  pipe"  for  a 
Third  Term,  it  is  very  evident  he  intends  to  break 
with  the  Black  Republicans,  and  throw  himself  into 
the  hands  of  a  new  party — a  party  which  proposes 
to  win  under  the  banner  of  Free  Trade  and  Real 
Money — that  is,  specie  payment.  But  I  have  yet 
to  find  here,  as  in  England,  the  first  indication  of 
an  out-and-out  Free  Trade  part}1-.  As  I  have  often 
published,  without  fear  of  contradiction,  or,  I 
should  rather  say,  with  no  hope  of  contradiction, 
the  Cosmopolitan  is  the  only  absolute,  logical  Free 
Trade  newspaper  in  either  hemisphere.  All  the 
so-called  Free  Trade  journals  on  this  side,  as  on 
the  other,  advocate  "  strictly  revenue  tariffs  " — 
approximate  Free  Trade.  This  is  all  nonsense ; 
as  well  advocate  approximate  honesty.  Any  mea- 
sures that  stop  short  of  the  immediate  abolition 
of  Custom-Houses  are  mere  half-measures,  and 
worse  than  none.  Let  the  whole  thieving  army  of 
Custom- House  agents,  spies,  and  informers  be  at 
once  disbanded,  and  put  to  some  honest  occupation 
whereby  to  earn  their  daily  bread,  instead  of  steal- 
ing it,  and  the  commerce  of  the  world  would  get 
rid  of  an  incubus  that  makes  trade  a  trick  and  a 
struggle,  and  business  a  penance  instead  of  a 
pleasure.  The  resources,  the  labour,  the  enter- 
prise, and  the  ingenuity  of  America  need  no 


IN   THE  UNITED  STATES.  ?$ 

protection,  other  than  the  broad  Atlantic,  to  com- 
pete successfully  with  any  other  nation  on  the 
globe.  The  tide  of  exchange  is  beginning  to  turn 
in  favour  of  the  United  States,  and  the  people  are 
beginning  to  see  and  to  feel,  in  their  pockets,  that 
the  tax  on  foreign  importations  robs  millions  of 
poor  consumers  to  enrich  a  few  hundreds  of 
millionaire  manufacturers.  Besides,  it  is  esti- 
mated that  not  more  than  one-half  of  the  "  tolls  " 
taken  at  the  Custom -House  ever  reaches  the 
Treasury  of  the  United  States.  Therefore,  abolish 
the  whole  system  of  fraud  and  corruption,  and 
come  down  to  the  only  honest  and  legitimate  tax 
for  the  support  of  Government — a  direct  tax  on 
property.  Under  this  latter  just,  simple,  econo- 
mical policy,  we  should  never  see  a  repetition  of 
the  disgraceful  scene  witnessed  in  the  House  of 
Representatives  on  Friday  night  last,  when,  with 
the  mercury  bubbling  among  the  "  upper  tens," 
the  Hall  was  packed  with  thousands  of  men, 
women,  and  niggers  to  hear  "  Old  Cock-eye 
Butler"  defend  the  Custom-House  spy  system,  and 
denounce  the  eminent  firm  of  Phelps,  Dodge,  & 
Co.,  of  New  York,  and  Phelps,  James,  &  Co.,  of 
Liverpool,  for  defrauding  the  Government  —  in 
other  words,  for  stealing  millions  by  swearing  to 
false  invoices.  This  firm  has  imported,  mostly  in 
metals,  during  the  last  forty  years,  goods  amount- 


7  6  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

ing  to  400,000,000  of  dollars.  Mr  W.  E.  Dodge, 
the  venerable  head  of  the  firm,  is  Chairman  of  the 
New  York  Chamber  of  Commerce,  and  President 
of  the  Young  Men's  Christian  Association,  a  man 
of  large  wealth  and  high  social  position.  General 
Butler  accuses  him  of  obtaining  his  vast  wealth, 
and,  consequently,  his  social  position — to  use  plain 
English — by  theft  and  perjury!  And  the  galleries 
applaud  him  to  the  echo.  But  the  press,  of  all 
parties  and  sections, -is  pouring  multitudinous  vials 
of  hot  indignation  upon  the  bald  head  of  the 
heartless  "  Beast."  But  why  did  Phelps,  Dodge, 
&  Co.,  if  entirely  innocent,  pay  the  Government 
some  270,000  dollars  to  "  compromise "  a  claim 
for  millions  ?  Because  we  suppose  a  lawsuit  would 
have  cost  them  a  much  greater  sum.  Jordan, 
Marsh,  &  Co.,  of  Boston,  against  whom  a  similar 
charge  is  pending  for  a  very  large  amount,  are 
showing  fight  and  showing  pluck.  As  a  matter  of 
principle,  the  man  who  pays  an  unjust  claim  con- 
dones a  fraud ;  but  the  world,  especially  the  busi- 
ness world,  is  governed  by  interest,  not  principle. 
The  merchant's  motto  is,  of  two  evils  choose  the 
least ;  a  woman's,  of  two  offers  accept  the  first. 
"  The  Plymouth  Church  Scandal "  is  again  the 
uppermost  topic  of  the  day;  and  although  the 
Cosmopolitan  has  little  stomach  for  such  garbage, 
to  ignore  the  matter  entirely  would  be  unfaithful 


hV  THE  UNITED  STATES.  77 

to  the  history  of  current  events.  Briefly,  then,  as 
possible,  the  scandal  is  this : — The  Rev.  Henry 
Ward  Beecher,  who  for  the  last  twenty-five  years 
has  played  a  star  role  at  the  Brooklyn  Plymouth 
Church,  where  his  religions  merchandise  brings 
him  a  revenue  of  £10,000  a  year,  was  accused  some 
four  or  five  years  ago,  by  his  bosom  friend  and 
Christian  Church  brother,  Theodore  Tilton,  of  the 
greatest  crime  that  man  can  possibly  commit 
against  man.  I  need  not  name  it  to  cosmopolitan 
readers.  At  the  same  time  Mr  Tilton  withdrew 
from  the  Church,  whose  "  unco  guid  "  pastor  he 
could  not  but  regard  as  a  hypocrite,  pure  and 
simple.  The  scandal  got  wind,  but,  except  through 
the  columns  of  a  certain  disreputable  sheet,  the 
Press,  giving  the  "great  and  good  man"  the 
benefit  of  its  doubt,  had  but  little  to  say  on  the 
subject.  In  the  meantime  there  was  a  melting 
meeting  between  the  accused  and  his  accuser, 
which  resulted  in  apparent  penitence  on  one  hand, 
forgiveness  on  the  other,  and  everlasting  silence  on 
both.  But  a  certain  meddlesome  body,  called  the 
"  Church  Council,"  composed  of  a  synod  of 
Presbyterian  Churches,  affiliated  with  Beecher's, 
under  the  lead  of  the  Rev.  Leonard  Bacon,  raked 
open  the  buried  offal,  for  the  purpose  of  white- 
washing Beecher  and  blacksmearing  Tilton ;  where- 
upon the  latter  comes  out  in  his  newspaper — the 


7  8  TRA  NSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

Golden  Age — with,  a  minute  history  of  the  whole 
infamous  affair.  And  the  columns  of  all  the 
newspapers  are  to  -  day  regaling  the  prurient 
appetites  of  their  myriads  of  readers  with  the 
"great  sensation  scandal."  Beecher  and  his 
"  followers,"  it  is  announced,  have  resolved  to  treat 
Tilton's  charges  with  silent  contempt.  This  is  a 
very  cheap  and  easy  way  of  meeting  evidence 
directed  against  the  "  Lord's  anointed."  But 
the  blind  and  foolish  world  is  slow  to  believe 
anything  against  its  cherished  idols.  Pious 
people,  who  have  been  taught  from  their  cradles  to 
sing  the  praises  of  good  King  David,  never  think 
of  the  wicked  passion  that  got  rid  of  Gen.  Uriah, 
in  order  to  get  possession  of  his  beautiful  wife. 
The  Saints  of  the  Ancient  Bible,  and  the  Saints 
of  the  Modern  Church,  like  Kings,  "  can  do  no 
wrong"  in  the  eyes  of  their  infatuated  believers. 
The  Rev.  Henry  Ward  Beecher,  who,  by  talking 
religion  two  or  three  hours  in  the  week,  enjoys  an 
income  that  enables  him  to  keep  fast  horses,  a 
mansion  in  town,  a  summer  residence  in  the  coun- 
try, and  to  live  on  the  fat  of  the  land,  is  morally 
infallible  in  the  eyes  of  Plymouth  Church,  not- 
withstanding his  sensuous  mouth  and  dominant 
cerebellum.  But  here  is  an  extract  from  his  own 
written  confession  to  his  outraged  "brother  in 
Christ."  There  is  but  one  construction  to  be 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  79 

given  to  it  by  any  one  who  pretends  to  an  average 
share  of  common  sense  : — 

"  I  ask  Theodore  Tilton's  forgiveness,  and  humble  myself 
before  him  as  I  do  before  my  God.  He  would  have  been  a 
better  man  in  my  circumstances  than  I  have  been.  I  can  ask 
nothing  except  that  he  will  remember  all  the  other  breasts 
that  would  ache.  I  will  not  plead  for  myself.  I  even  wish 
that  I  were  dead.  H.  W.  BEECHER. 

"BROOKLYN,  January  1,  1871." 

If  this  is  not  a  forgery,  and  its  genuineness  has 
not  been  questioned,  the  great  jury  of  the  public 
will  regard  it  as  the  abject  confession  of  a  guilty 
man  ;  and  that,  too,  of  an  outrage  intensified  a 
thousand  times  by  the  intimate  and  sacred  relation 
of  the  parties ;  and  again,  ten  thousand  times 
more  by  the  garb  of  hypocrisy  which  cloaks  and 
seeks  to  conceal  the  sin. 


8O  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 


DOGS. 

(l  EVERY  dog  has  his  day,"  says  the  old  adage. 
Just  now  in  New  York  every  day  is  having  at 
least  a  hundred  dogs  sacrificed  to  the  hydrophobia 
panic;  and  not  without  reason.  In  spite  of  all 
the  scepticism  on  the  subject  of  canine  poison  or 
rabies,  three  deaths  have  recently  occurred  in  this 
city  from  dog-bites,  which  have  caused  universal 
alarm,  and  raised  the  war-cry  of  "  Death  to  dogs  !  " 
without  regard  to  race,  variety,  or  value.  Miss 
Ada  Clare,  well  known  as  a  critic,  an  actress,  and 
a  bel  esprit,  was  slightly  bitten  last  winter  by  the 
pet  poodle  of  a  friend,  and  died  in  a  few  weeks,  a 
victim  to  the  subtle  poison.  Last  week  a  Brooklyn 
dog-fancier  and  dealer,  by  the  name  of  Butler, 
died  a  terrible  death  from  the  same  cause ;  and 
this  week  the  papers  are  full  of  the  details  of  the 
horrors  and  agonies  of  M'Cormick,  the  butcher, 
wrho  also  died  from  the  bite  of  a  pet  dog,  a  mere 
scratch  on  the  first  knuckle  of  the  forefinger  of 
the  right  hand.  The  physical  sufferings  of  Mr 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  8 1 

M'Cormick,  as  described  in  the  Tribune,  are  too 
painful  for  publication.  The  half-a-dozen  doctors 
who  stood  by  the  bed  of  the  poor  man,  writhing 
in  agony,  foaming  at  the  mouth,  biting  his  tongue, 
and  doubling  himself  up,  even  in  his  straight- 
jacket,  should  have  put  an  end  to  his  intolerable 
torture  by  instant  death.  The  case  was  utterly 
hopeless.  It  is  said  no  patient  has  ever  recovered 
from  a  well-pronounced  attack  of  hydrophobia. 
It  would  be  an  act  of  mercy,  therefore,  to  kill  the 
victim  and  spare  his  mortal  agonies — quite  as 
much  so  as  it  is  the  humane  duty  of  the  public 
executioner  to  finish  his  horrible  work  as  swiftly 
as  possible.  Strange  to  say,  we  hear  less  sympathy 
expressed  for  these  mad-dog  victims  than  for  the 
"  poor  dogs  "  themselves  ;  and  this  morbid  pheno- 
menon is  chiefly  owing  to  the  great  activity  and 
philanthropy — if  the  word  may  be  used  in  this 
connection — of  the  "  Society  for  the  Prevention 
of  Cruelty  to  Animals,"  at  the  head  of  which  Mr 
Henry  Bergh  has  conspicuously  figured  for  some 
years  past.  And,  like  all  hobby-riders,  Mr  Bergh 
has  ridden  this  tenderness  to  the  brute  creation 
hobby  down  to  the  very  reductio  ad  absurdum. 
"When  the  City  Council  passed  an  ordinance 
offering  a  bribe  of  fifty  cents  for  every  stray 
unmuzzled  dog  caught  and  brought  to  the 
"  Pound,"  or  Dog  Prison,  to  be  put  to  death, 

F 


82  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

if  not  claimed  and  redeemed  in  forty-eight  hours, 
Mr  Bergh  proposed  that  the  sentence  should  be 
inflicted  by  means  of  carbonic  acid  gas.  And  so 
this  sentimental  lover  of  his  poor  dumb  brothers 
protracts  their  mortal  agony  some  thirty  minutes, 
while  less  than  three  minutes  suffices  to  drown  a 
dog,  or  any  other  quadruped  or  biped ;  and  the 
latter  mode  of  death  is  conceded  by  all  who  have 
attempted  it,  and  almost  succeeded,  to  be  rather 
pleasant  than  painful,  after  the  first  gasp  of 
suffocation  is  over.  The  real  "cruelty"  of  this 
canine  phobia  consists  in  the  brutal  hunt  after 
the  poor  creatures  in  the  streets  by  heartless  men 
and  boys,  who  bring  them,  half  dead,  in  cart-loads 
to  the  "Pound"  for  the  sake  of  the  reward.  It 
would  be  much  more  humane  to  appoint  a  squad 
of  policemen  to  scour  the  streets,  and  catch  the 
stray  dogs  with  tempting  food,  or  words  of 
delusive  kindness.  In  Philadelphia,  where  the 
same  anti-dog  mania  is  raging,  no  less  than  2500 
dogs  were  slaughtered  last  week  on  the  altar  of 
Public  Safety.  And  this  dog-war  is  becoming  a 
burning  question  in  society,  causing  endless 
"  differences "  in  family  circles.  The  ladies 
of  a  certain  class,  notoriously  fond  of  poodles, 
and  tolerant  of  "  puppies,"  plead  eloquently  for 
the  innocence  of  their  pets,  in  spite  of  the  un- 
answerable and  alarming  fact  that,  in  each  of 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  83 

the  above  fatal  cases;  it  was  the  little  pet  dog 
that  inflicted  the  mortal  wound.  Naturally 
enough  all  this  excitement  is  developing  no 
end  of  medical  theories  on  the  rabies  question. 
On  this,  as  on  all  other  questions,  "  doctors 
differ,"  and  that,  too,  so  very  widely,  that  it  is 
safe  only  to  draw  conclusions  from  facts.  Mere 
medical  "  opinions "  do  not  amount  to  much ; 
while  the  deductions  of  science  and  reason  are 
of  infinite  importance.  In  the  first  place,  the 
question  is  raised  why  dogs  go  mad  ?  In  Havana, 
a  city  which  contains  more  dogs  than  owners,  we 
hear  little  of  hydrophobia ;  and  in  Constantinople, 
where  it  is  considered  sacrilege  to  kill  a  dog,  the 
fear  of  the  disease  does  not  exist.  It  seems  to 
be  a  well-established  fact  that  the  canine  race 
in  "  a  state  of  nature/'  as  distinguished  from 
the  condition  of  dogs  in  Ci  civilised  society,"  is 
never  aiHicted  with  rabies.  The  reason  is  obvious, 
and  need  not  be  given.  Again,  the  popular  fallacy 
that  mad  dogs  have  a  horror  of  water  is  exploded. 
On  the  contrary,  they  are  fond  of  putting  their 
noses  into  water  when  the  fever  is  on  them,  and 
biting  at  it  as  they  bite  at  everything  else,  animate 
or  inanimate  ;  so  the  term  "  hydrophobia "  is 
altogether  a  misnomer,  and  must  be  dropped 
from  the  medical  dictionary.  That  the  victims 
of  the  bite  imitate  in  their  mortal  agonies  the 


84  TRANSFORM  A  TION  SCENES 

barking  of  dogs  is  explained  by  the  spasmodic 
effort  to  eject  the  foam  and  saliva  constantly 
flowing  from  the  mouth,  as  in  the  case  of  the 
stalwart  butcher,  M'Cormick.  It  is  simply  a 
choking  sound,  resembling  the  short,  muffled 
bark  of  a  dog  asleep.  Having  devoted  sufficient 
space  to  the  subject  of  dog-madness  to  induce 
a  little  precautionary  reflection,  the  reader  will 
doubtless  appreciate  the  following  : — 

DIRECTIONS  FOR  THE  PREVENTION  OP  HYDROPHOBIA. — 1.  A 
dog  that  is  sick  from  any  cause  should  be  watched  and  treated 
carefully  until  his  recovery.  2.  A  dog  that  is  sick  and  rest- 
less is  an  object  of  suspicion.  This  is  the  earliest  peculiar 
symptom  of  hydrophobia.  3.  A  dog  that  is  sick  and  restless, 
and  has  a  depressed  appetite,  gnawing  and  swallowing  bits  of 
cloth,  wood,  coal,  brick,  mortar,  or  his  own  dung,  is  a  dan- 
gerous animal.  He  should  be  at  once  chained  up,  and  kept 
in  confinement  until  his  condition  be  clearly  ascertained.  4. 
If,  in  addition  to  any  or  all  of  the  foregoing  symptoms,  the 
dog  has  delusion  of  the  senses,  appearing  to  see  or  hear 
imaginary  sights  or  sounds,  trying  to  pass  through  a  closed 
door,  catching  at  flies  in  the  air  when  there  are  none,  or 
searching  for  something  which  does  not  exist,  there  is  a  great 
probability  that  he  is,  or  is  becoming,  hydrophobic.  He  should 
be  secured  and  confined  without  delay.  5.  In  case  any  one  is 
bitten  by  a  dog  whose  condition  is  suspicious,  the  most  effec- 
tive and  beneficial  treatment  is  to  cauterise  the  wound  at 
once  with  a  stick  of  silver  nitrate,  commonly  called  "  lunar 
caustic."  The  stick  of  caustic  should  be  sharpened  to  a 
pencil-point,  introduced  quite  to  the  bottom  of  the  wound, 
and  held  in  contact  with  every  part  of  the  wounded  surface 
until  it  is  thoroughly  cauterised  and  insensible.  This  destroys 
the  virus  by  which  the  disease  would  be  communicated. 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  85 

These  "  Directions "  are  to  be  publicly  posted 
throughout  the  city.  In  case  there  should  be  no 
lunar  caustic  at  hand,  sucking  the  wound,  and 
burning  it  with  a  hot  iron  is  recommended,  at  the 
same  time  binding  the  limb  tightly,  above  and 
below  the  bite,  to  prevent  the  poison  from  cir- 
culating in  the  blood.  It  is  also  recommended, 
that  when  a  dog  bites  a  person,  the  life  of  the 
animal  should  be  spared,  in  order  to  know  whether 
he  is  mad  or  not.  No  less  than  seven  dogs, 
suspected  of  madness,  were  killed  in  New  York 
yesterday,  and  thirty  during  the  last  month.  In 
regard  to  the  suggestion  I  have  made  in  connec- 
tion with  this  subject,  that  the  victim  of  the 
poison  should  be  instantly  relieved  by  death  at 
the  hands  of  his  medical  attendant,  I  am  aware 
that  it  will  shock  the  moral  sense  even  of 
cosmopolitan  readers.  It  shocks  my  own  to  make 
it.  And  yet,  where  recovery  is  utterly  hope- 
less, to  inflict  instant  death  becomes  a  most 
humane  and  sacred  duty.  Apropos  of  u  shocking  " 
suggestions,  what  shall  we  say  of  the  pamphlet 
recently  published  in  England  in  vindication  of 
suicide  ?  The  title  of  the  brochure  is  "  Euthanasia," 
the  name  of  the  author  S.  D.  Williams,  jun.,  and 
the  endorser,  who  has  given  it  vogue,  is  Mrs 
Crawshay,  wife  of  the  Iron  millionaire  of  Wales. 
The  Saturday  Review,  the  Spectator,  and  the 


86  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

Fortnightly  "  notice "  this  startling  production. 
The  penal  law  against  suicide  we  have  always 
regarded  as  a  most  asinine  act  of  legislation — a 
disgrace  to  the  statutes  of  civilised  nations.  In 
the  first  place,  the  man  who  commits  the  "  crime  " 
of  self-murder  is  beyond  the  reach  of  human 
punishment.  In  cases  of  unsuccessful  attempt,  the 
poor  "  felon  "  has  already  suffered  enough  with- 
out undergoing  the  penalties  of  the  prison  or  the 
treadmill.  So  far  as  human  laws  are  concerned, 
the  right  of  self-destruction  is  absolute.  In  nine 
cases  out  of  ten,  self-inflicted  death  is  no  loss, 
neither  to  the  suicide  nor  to  society.  It  is  occur- 
ring here  in  New  York  daily — pistols,  Paris  green, 
leaping  from  high  windows,  hanging  and  drown- 
ing being  the  popular  modes  of  self- extinction. 
The  causes  are  : — Rum,  Religion,  Poverty,  and 
Love — that  is,  too  much  Rum,  too  much  Poverty, 
not  enough  Religion,  and  not  enough  Love.  As 
a  general  rule,  the  friends  and  relations  of  these 
"rashly  importunate"  death-seekers  are  great 
gamers  by  the  loss  of  such  encumbrances.  There 
is  no  danger  that  the  defence  of  suicide  will  ever 
make  the  cause  popular  or  fashionable.  Love  of 
life  is  almost  as  strong  as  the  law  of  gravitation 
or  self-interest,  and  u  everything  that  hath  breath" 
will  cling  to  life  and  light  even  when  every  breath 
is  a  sigh,  and  every  sunbeam  a  tear.  It  is  only  the 


JN  THE  UNITED  STA  TES.  87 

guilty  coward  who  shirks  the  battle  of  life  by 
voluntary  death.  The  Rev.  Heiiry  Ward  Beecher, 
rolling  in  wealth,  and  revelling  in  the  luxury  of 
fame,  writes  to  his  injured  brother  Tilton  in  a 
paroxysm  of  remorse,  "  I  even  wish  I  were  dead." 
It  is  recorded  of  a  romantic  case  of  suicide  in  one 
of  Goethe's  celebrated  fictions,  that  it  caused  an 
extraordinary  popping  of  solitary  pistols  in  the 
Black  Forest.  We  do  not  think  such  is  likely  to 
be  the  effect  of  this  new  Euthanasian  creed  in 
favour  of  suicide.  But  if  any  "poor  devils"  are 
at  all  that  way  inclined,  in  order  to  punish  some 
false  friend  or  faithless  lover,  on  the  "  you'll- 
miss-me-when-I-am-gone  "  threat,  we  advise  them 
to  do  it  and  be  done  with  it.  The  sun  will  con- 
tinue to  rise  and  set  as  before,  while  the  universal 
epitaph  for  the  tombstone  of  all  self-destructives 
is — "  Good  riddance." 


88  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 


THE    BRANCH. 

LONG  BRANCH  is  called  the  seaside  capital  of  the 
United  States.  This  is  owing  to  the  fact  that 
President  Grant  has  chosen  the  place  for  his 
summer  residence,  and  established  here  a  sort  of 
country  Court.  In  this  the  President  has  shown 
good  sense  and  good  taste.  As  a  watering-place, 
"  The  Branch,"  as  it  is  popularly  called,  possesses 
unrivalled  attractions.  In  the  first  place,  Nature 
has  endowed  it  with  all  the  essential  elements  of 
a  city  of  pleasure.  The  coast,  to  the  extent  of 
some  six  miles,  could  not  have  been  more  perfectly 
adapted  to  watering-place  wants  and  comforts  had 
it  been  planned  by  a  civil  engineer  familiar  with 
all  the  modern  improvements  for  the  promotion 
of  human  happiness  in  the  hours  of  leisure  and 
relaxation.  It  is  the  only  point  on  all  the  coast, 
from  Maine  to  Florida,  where  the  soft  sandy  shore 
rises  abruptly  to  a  level  plateau,  with  beautiful 
house  lots,  all  prepared  for  building,  on  the  very 
brink  of  the  sea,  with  dry  foundations,  and 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  89 

perfectly  safe  from  the  "  breaking  waves  "  of  the 
broad  Atlantic,  with  all  their  mighty  momentum 
of  three  thousand  miles — 

"  Wide  rolling,  foaming  high,  and  tumbling  to  the  shore." 

The  background  is  rich  and  highly  cultivated, 
the  roads  level,  in  good  condition,  and  the  atmo- 
sphere a  delicious  mixture  of  the  ozone  of  the  sea 
and  the  odour  of  new-mown  hay.  With  these 
outdoor  fascinations,  no  wonder  driving  is  the 
great  amusement  of  the  place ;  and  President 
Grant,  with  his  fast  trotters,  leads  the  fashion. 
Having  passed  the  "glorious  Fourth"  at  "The 
Branch " — a  day  once  synonymous  with  noisy 
crowds — I  was  particularly  struck  with  the  sobriety 
and  decorum  of  the  town ;  and  that,  too,  under 
the  additional  excitement  of  the  Monmouth  Park 
Races,  which  drew  together  all  the  leading  sports- 
men of  the  Union.  I  saw  no  drunkenness,  heard 
no  shouting  or  "  patriotic  "  singing,  and  only  one 
solitary  and  faint  fire-cracker.  Another  trans- 
formation from  former  years,  which  made  me  feel 
all  "  abroad  :  "  that  is,  anywhere  but  in  "  the 
land  of  the  free  and  the  home  of  the  brave,"  on 
this  98th  Anniversary  of  the  Declaration  of 
American  Independence,  a  day  that  used  to  be 
celebrated  with  the  most  vociferous  demonstra- 
tions of  patriotic  joy,  with  guns  and  drums,  with 


9O  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

bells  and  banners,  with  glowing  orations  and 
deep  potations,  with  exultations,  conflagrations, 
hallucinations,  pistols,  and  fire-crackers.  Of 
course  the  Stars  and  Stripes  could  be  seen  "  by 
the  dawn's  rosy  light  "  floating  from  every  mast 
and  spire  ;  but  not  one  strain,  even  from  a  hurdy- 
gurdy,  of  the  "  Star-Spangled  Banner,"  the 
"  Marseillaise  "  of  America,  beat  the  heavenward 
flame  of  devotion  in  the  air.  But,  in  gazing  at 
the  blue  sea,  and  the  great  blue  Bohemian  bowl 
above  it,  I  recalled  the  lofty,  mystic  words  in  which 
Emerson  salutes  the  "  Natal  Day  "  of  American 
Liberty — 

"  Oh,  tenderly  the  haughty  Day 
Fills  his  blue  urn  with  fire, 
One  morn  is  in  the  mighty  heaven, 
And  one  in  our  desire." 

What  that  "  one  "  thing  is  which  represents  the 
universal  "  desire  "  of  this,  or  any  other  people, 
perhaps  the  sage  of  Concord,  and  perhaps  future 
Rector  of  Glasgow,  can  explain.  The  "one 
desire  "  at  Long  Branch  seemed  to  be  to  get  a 
good  seat  in  the  grand  stand,  or  bet  on  the  right 
horse  at  the  Races.  On  arriving  at  the  West 
End  Hotel  the  evening  before,  where  long  queues 
of  anxious  "  arrivals  "  were  waiting  for  rooms,  a 
pleasant  voice,  which  I  recognised  as  one  of  the 
proprietors,  said,  "  Keep  quiet,  Colonel,  you  will 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  9! 

"be  taken  care  of."  And  so  I  was  abundantly 
cared  for,  and  Grant  himself  could  not  have  been 
made  more  comfortable.  That  same  hospitable 
voice  first  welcomed  me  to  the  St  Charles  in  New 
Orleans,  many  and  many  a  year  ago,  and  intro- 
duced me  to  the  Pompanoo.  Did  Jules  Vernes 
ever  have  the  good  luck  to  fall  in  with  this  deli- 
cious fish  in  his  twenty  thousand  leagues  under  the 
sea?  If  not,  let  him  take  another  trip  for  the 
express  purpose  of  making  a  most  agreeable  ac- 
quaintance. Reassured  that  I  would  be  "  taken 
care  of,"  also,  for  the  Races,  I  sat  quietly  looking 
at  the  departing  crowd  until  half-past  one,  when 
a  handsome  carriage  and  pair  drove  up  with  a 
friend  from  the  New  Dominion,  to  take  me  out. 
The  drive  to  the  Course,  about  three  miles,  is 
very  pleasant.  The  old  familiar  fields  of  Indian 
corn,  golden  wheat,  and  orchards  bending  with 
apples,  pears,  and  peaches,  gladdened  both  eye  and 
heart.  The  words  of  a  long-forgotten  old  song, 
like  water  bursting  from  a  choked-up  fountain, 
came  gushing  unaware — 

"  Our  Mother,  the  Earth,  a  good  Mother  is  she, 

And  to  toil  is  to  -welcome  her  care  ; 
Some  bounty  she  hangs  us  on  every  tree, 
And  blesses  us  in  the  free  air." 

The  Races,  four  in  number,  were  well  conducted 
and  well  contested,  giving  great  satisfaction  to  an 


92  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

immense  crowd,  especially  to  the  winners.  Only 
in  the  steeplechase,  resulting  in  the  death  of  two 
valuable  mares,  and  the  serious  injury  of  one  of 
the  riders,  was  there  anything  to  mar  the  sport  of 
the  opening  day  at  Monmouth  Park.  Fortunately 
these  accidents  occurred  at  the  end  of  the  last 
" event"  on  the  programme.  The  crowd  within 
the  enclosure  was  as  quiet  and  orderly  as  those 
proverbially  well-behaved  crowds  at  the  races  in 
the  Bois  du  Boulogne.  This,  considering  the  pre- 
sence of  more  or  less  of  Fourth-of-Julyism,  struck 
me  as  remarkable.  But  I  have  noticed  a  gener- 
ally subdued  feeling  among  the  people  here,  of 
all  classes.  They  are  less  noisy,  less  boastful,  and 
less  exuberant  than  formerly.  Whether  the  pre- 
sence of  the  comet,  or  the  recent  panic,  has  thrown 
them  into  what  pious  people  call  "  a  concern  of 
mind,"  I  do  not  know.  The  fact  is  apparent,  what- 
ever may  be  the  cause.  Last  evening,  at  a  grand 
display  of  fireworks  in  Union  Square,  postponed 
from  the  4th,  on  account  of  the  rain,  among  a 
dense  crowd  of  fifty  thousand  people  there  was  no 
noise,  not  even  in  the  way  of  applause.  It  is 
hardly  necessary  to  say  that  the  West-End  Hotel 
at  Long  Branch,  under  the  management  of  Messrs 
Presbury  and  Hildreth,  is  admirably  kept.  The 
table  d'hote  is  perfectly  bewildering  in  the  bountiful 
superfluity  and  variety  of  its  dishes.  Seventy-four 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  93 

items  on  the  dinner  bill-of-fare,  and  sixty- three 
in  the  breakfast  bill,  are  enough  to  make  one's 
head  swim.  The  system  is  a  most  pernicious  and 
dyspeptic  one,  but  about  as  difficult  to  get  rid  of 
as  universal  suffrage  or  a  vicious  currency.  Dainty 
eaters,  who  have  some  respect  for  the  chemical 
condition  of  their  stomachs,  and  select  their  simple 
food  with  sole  reference  to  health,  have  to  pay  "for" 
gormandisers  who  "  pack  their  cylinders "  with 
everything  on  the  programme,  alike  regardless  of 
quantity,  quality,  or  the  laws  of  chemical  affinity. 
As  a  general  rule,  men  do  not  learn  to  live  until 
the  last  decade  of  life,  and  then  only  when  ex- 
hausted nature  lacks  the  force  to  resist  abuses. 
One  word  more  of  this  delightful  place  before 
leaving  it,  probably  for  ever.  It  is  already  a  city 
of  villas,  with  I  do  not  know  how  many  summer 
inhabitants.  But  the  place  is  destined  to  grow 
in  favour  and  in  fame.  We  hear  it  sometimes 
called  the  Brighton  of  America.  There  is  not  the 
slightest  resemblance  between  the  two  towns. 
Brighton  is  an  old,  compactly-built  city — a  pocket 
edition  of  London.  In  Long  Branch  no  house 
touches  its  neighbour.  Like  Washington,  it  is  a 
"  city  of  magnificent  distances,"  and  of  possibilities 
also.  Real  estate  is  rising  rapidly  in  value,  and 
unimproved  acres  are  doubling  in  market  prices 
every  five  years.  The  West-End  Hotel  property, 


94  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

jointly  owned  by  Messrs  Presbury  and  Hildrelh, 
which  embraces  sixty  acres,  and  originally  cost, 
with  all  the  fine  buildings  erected  for  hotel  pur- 
poses, half  a  million  of  dollars,  will  doubtless  be 
worth  double  this  amount  in  1880.  John  Hoey's 
splendid  estate  of  three  hundred  acres,  with  the 
finest  pleasure-grounds  in  the  United  States,  not- 
withstanding the  enormous  sum  spent  on  it,  rises 
in  annual  value,  equal  to  its  annual  cost.  Twenty 
years  hence,  with  a  wealthy  population  of  100,000, 
the  present  real-estate  owners  of  Long  Branch,  if 
they  hold  on  to  their  property  and  to  life,  will  all 
be  millionaires.  The  great  and  growing  cities  of 
New  York,  Philadelphia,  Baltimore,  and  Washing- 
ton, will  always  make  this  their  favourite  summer 
resort ;  while  President  Grant,  with  an  indefinite 
number  of  "  terms  "  before  him,  will  continue  to 
attract  thousands  of  courtiers,  politicians,  and 
office-seekers,  who,  in  the  absence  of  mosquitoes, 
we  must  regard  as  the  only  bores  of  the  place. 
The  President's  cottage  is  all  that  can  be  desired 
in  the  way  of  a  summer  residence,  and  the  same 
may  be  said  of  G.  W.  Childs's,  Grant's  "  next 
friend  "  and  nearest  neighbour.  In  the  immediate 
vicinity  of  these  charming  villas  Mr  George  Pull- 
man, of  Palace-car  fame  and  fortune,  is  proposing 
to  build  something  that  will  "beat  Grant."  The 
"  Branch  "  has  an  institution  of  civilisation  which 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  95 

many  a  visitor  has  cause  to  remember — a  few  with 
satisfaction,  many  more  with  regret.  Chamber- 
lain's Club  House  is  one  of  the  most  beautiful 
"  gambling  Hells "  in  America.  It  is  sumptu- 
ously furnished,  and  the  visitors  are  treated  to 
everything  they  can  wish  to  eat,  drink,  or  smoke, 
and  for  which  they  generally  pay  dearly.  In 
looking  at  the  game  of  roulette  the  other  evening, 
I  saw  lots  of  money  lost,  and  very  little  won,  ex- 
cept by  "  the  Bank,"  which  the  proprietor  frankly 
stated  had  9  per  cent,  in  its  favour,  at  the  same 
time  bluntly  adding,"  If  a  man  plays  long  enough, 
he  is  sure  to  lose  all  his  money."  But  even  this 
prediction  did  not  seem  to  cool  the  ardour  of  the 
players,  "  Greenbacks  "  of  high  denominations  be- 
ing staked  and  lost  by  the  handful.  Apropos  of 
gambling,  I  have  a  story  to  tell  by  way  of  caution 
to  the  public,  but  have  not  space  for  it  to-day.  I 
will  only  say,  beware  of  sharpers  who  accost  you 
in  Broadway  as  old  acquaintances,  and  invite  you 
to  step  around  the  corner  and  see  them  get  the 
cash  for  a  prize  just  drawn  in  the  Havana  lottery. 


96  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 


THE  COSMOPOLITAN. 

HAVING  "  located,"  to  use  the  local  word,  the 
American  office  of  the  Cosmopolitan  at  21  Park 
Row,  New  York,  I  propose,  what  the  Imperialists 
of  France  are  so  anxious  to  make,  a  brief  "  appeal 
to  the  people."  In  this  case,  perhaps  explanation 
would  be  the  more  appropriate  word,  especially  as 
the  ultra-Free  Tradeism  of  the  Cosmopolitan  is 
persistently  misrepresented  by  the  Protectionists. 
"  Your  paper  is  altogether  devoted  to  British 
interests,"  said  an  anti-Free  Trade  journalist 
last  evening.  Without  going  into  the  old  argu- 
ment, I  will  only  repeat  that  practical  Free  Trade 
is  not  for  the  exclusive  " interests"  of  any  one 
country,  but  for  the  greatest  possible  good  of  all. 
"With  this  conviction  the  Cosmopolitan  looks  to 
the  Free  Trade  party,  if  such  a  party  exists,  for 
an  increasing  subscription  list  on  this  side  of  the 
Atlantic.  In  doubting  the  reality  of  an  American 
Free  Trade  party — that  is,  as  a  political  organisa- 
tion— we  have  only  to  recall  the  action  of  Demo- 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  97 

cratic  Free  Traders  in  Pennsylvania,  Massachusetts, 
Louisiana,  or  any  other  State  where  local  interests 
override  principles,  and  whose  representatives  in 
Congress  vote  for  high  tariffs  for  the  special  benefit 
of  their  constituents.  Outside  of  mere  politics,  I 
find  no  lack  of  intelligent  business  men,  engaged 
in  all  the  various  industries,  agricultural  and 
mechanical,  who  are  ready  to  adopt  the  proud 
and  honest  motto — Free  Trade  and  Specie  Pay- 
ment— a  fair  field  and  no  favour.  To  ask  for 
protection,  like  a  child  that  cannot  walk  alone, 
is  a  most  humiliating  confession  of  weakness.  It 
is  true  that  the  great  workshops  of  England  and 
France,  with  their  cheap  labour,  can  underbid 
the  American  manufacturers  in  certain  products. 
But  what  nation  on  the  earth  can  compete  with 
the  United  States  in  the  great  and  fundamental 
necessities  of  cotton,  corn,  sugar,  gold,  silver, 
&c.,  &c.  ?  In  wine,  spirits,  and  coffee,  America  will 
also  soon  become  an  exporting  country.  D.  M. 
Hildreth,  President  of  the  "  Gold  Seal  Wine 
Company,"  informs  me  that  they  bottled  150,000 
dozen  of  champagne  last  year,  which  is  in  great 
demand  here  at  two  dollars  a  bottle,  and  that  he 
has  just  had  an  order  for  ten  cases  from  London. 
This  is  but  one  straw  on  the  current  of  trade  that 
shows  which  way  the  tide  is  flowing.  Another 
item :  Mr  Appleton,  of  the  American  Watch 


98  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

Company,  tells  me  that  they  have  recently 
opened  a  house  in  Hatton  Garden,  London,  for 
the  purpose  of  supplying  the  United  Kingdom 
with  perfect  time-keepers,  much  cheaper  thau 
they  can  be  made  by  any  of  the  old  manufac- 
turers, either  in  Liverpool,  Geneva,  or  anywhere 
else  in  Europe.  These  watches  are  made  mostly 
by  machinery,  and  are  so  absolutely  accurate  as 
almost  to  justify  the  boast  of  "  regulating  the 
sun."  Having  been  governed  in  our  own 
personal  "movements"  by  one  of  these  Waltham 
chronometers  for  the  last  fifteen  years,  our 
confidence  in  its  veracity  is  infinitely  greater 
than  our  faith  in  the  infallibility  of  the  Pope, 
or  any  other  man — or  woman.  Mr  Appleton,  of 
course,  is  an  advocate  for  free  trade  in  watches ; 
but  there  is  no  import  tax  imposed  by  the  Govern- 
ment of  England  on  watches,  and  the  American 
Watch  will  soon  be  "all  the  go"  in  London. 
The  building,  at  the  corner  of  Broadway  and 
Bond  Street,  iu  which  the  gold  cases  for  these 
watches  are  made  by  the  hundred  thousand,  is 
one  of  the  largest  and  handsomest  in  New  York. 
The  topmost  story,  filled  with  machinery,  and 
"  operatives  "  of  both  sexes,  is  as  neat  and  clean 
as  a  drawing-room.  Skilled  workmen,  imported 
from  the  dingy  and  dirty  workshops  of  England 
and  Switzerland,  open  their  eyes,  and  mouths 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  99 

too,  at  these  transformation  scenes.  The  "  move- 
ments" or  "  works  "  are  manufactured  in  Waltham, 
Massachusetts,  where  some  500  operatives  are  em- 
ployed. One  more  illustration  of  the  progress 
of  Free  Trade,  not  as  a  party  principle,  but  as 
the  result  of  practical  experience.  A.  T.  Stewart, 
the  greatest  merchant  and  the  greatest  importer 
in  the  world,  is  a  strong  advocate  of  absolute  Free 
Trade.  On  this  question  Mr  Stewart's  individual 
opinion  is  worth  more  than  all  the  crude  theories 
of  professional  politicians,  and  all  the  fallacies 
of  protection  philosophers  of  the  Tribune  School. 
It  may  be  said  that  Mr  Stewart's  interest  lies  in 
the  direction  of  Free  Trade,  and  that  the  hundreds 
of  millions  he  has  paid  into  the  Federal  Treasury 
as  "  duties "  during  the  last  forty  years  weigh 
heavily  in  his  argument.  Admit  it  to  be  so. 
All  men  reason  from  their  pockets.  But  these 
untold  millions  do  not  represent  the  importer's 
losses,  only  the  mountain  of  taxes  levied  on 
consumers.  Free  Trade  would  greatly  increase 
the  business  of  the  importer  and  the  transporter 
of  foreign  goods,  while  lowering  the  selling  price 
to  the  full  amount  of  the  tariff.  This,  with  the 
immediate  abolition  of  all  Custom-Houses,  and 
the  instant  dismissal  of  the  great  army  of  Custom- 
House  thieves  and  "  suckers,"  is  the  first  plank 
in  the  Cosmopolitan's  platform.  And  on  this 


I  CO  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

account,  chiefly,  we  feel  justified  in  appealing  to 
the  genuine,  honest  Free  Traders  of  America  to 
give  us  their  support  in  this  great  cause,  the  true 
Gospel  of  Commerce,  by  sending  their  names — 
and  cheques — to  our  American  Bureau,  21  Park 
Row,  New  York.  For  nine  years  we  have  been 
pulling  at  this  uphill  load  in  London,  endeavour- 
ing to  solve  the  problem  whether  it  is  possible 
to  establish  a  paying  newspaper  in  any  city  of 
the  world,  independent  of  sect,  party,  clique,  or 
nationality.  We  have  outlived  a  good  deal  of 
latent  prejudice,  and  not  a  little  active  opposition, 
both  open  and  covert.  The  question  of  success  is 
now  reduced  to  one  of  health,  and  in  that  regard 
we  have  cause  to  be  hopeful.  With  the  fall  of 
the  Empire  the  Cosmopolitan  lost  its  best  friend 
and  most  powerful  support.  The  Emperor  of  the 
French  cordially  endorsed  every  plank  in  our 
platform ;  and  "  what  can  I  do  to  assist  you  ? " 
were  the  generous  and  encouraging  words  with 
which  His  Majesty  received  our  earliest  issue. 
11  The  gods  help  those  who  strive  to  help  them- 
selves ;  "  and  Hercules  at  last  gives  a  lift  to  the 
poor  man  who  has  struggled  hard  to  raise  his 
load.  "  But  why  do  you  publish  it  in  London?  " 
I  am  asked.  "  The  Cosmopolitan,  with  its  liberal, 
world- wide  views  of  things,  might  just  as  well, 
in  this  age  of  electric  affinities,  be  issued  in  any 


IN  THE  UNI  TED  STATES.  I O I 

other  city."  This  would  be  quite  true,  were  it 
not  that  London  is  such  an  admirable  and 
economical  workshop.  Printing,  paper,  rent,  and 
clerks,  cost  fifty  per  cent,  more  in  New  York. 
Besides,  London  is  the  largest  city  in  the  civilised 
world,  and  contains  the  best  and  the  worst  of 
everything,  not  even  excepting  the  climate. 
Therefore,  the  "  Great  Metropolis  "  is  the  fittest 
locality  for  a  cosmopolitan  newspaper;  and  we 
believe  our  American  readers,  as  a  general  rule, 
prefer  their  weekly  rdsumd  of  Old  World  affairs, 
as  they  do  their  current  literature  and  fashions, 
"fresh  from  abroad."  Henceforth,  news  from 
Europe  for  Americans,  and  news  from  America 
for  Europeans,  will  be  the  ruling  motive  in  the 
11  make-up  "  of  the  Cosmopolitan.  With  a  regular 
correspondent  in  the  capital  of  American  com- 
merce, literature,  fashion,  and  finance,  who  has 
had  large  experience  in  journalism,  associated 
with  an  active  business  agent,  we  may  reasonably 
hope  for  a  largely-increased  circulation  in  the 
United  States,  the  New  Dominion,  the  West 
Indies,  Mexico,  and  throughout  the  "  whole 
boundless  Continent."  We  also  propose  to 
establish  agencies  in  all  the  large  cities  of 
the  United  Kingdom  and  on  the  Continent. 
With  the  broadest  and  best  name  for  a  news- 
paper to  be  found  in  any  lexicon  or  language, 


I O2  TRANSFORMA  T1ON  SCENES 

the  Cosmopolitan  is  ambitious  to  embrace  the 
entire  globe.  [No  allusion  to  our  Conservative 
pink-faced  contemporary  next  door.]  While  on 
the  interesting  subject  of  "  ourselves,"  I  deem  it 
nothing  more  than  justice  to  the  "  truth  of 
history "  to  call  attention  to  the  statement 
repeatedly  made  by  the  London  correspondent 
of  the  New  York  Tribune,  that  a  certain  weekly 
in  London,  not  yet  three  months  old,  "  is  the 
only  newspaper  in  Europe  owned  and  edited  by 
an  American."  The  writer  of  this  paltry  false- 
hood knows  that  he  is  publishing  an  untruth. 
If  being  born  near  Plymouth  Rock,  a  lineal 
descendant  of  Thomas  Fuller,  "  the  Shakespeare 
of  the  pulpit,"  and  living  forty  years  in  America, 
does  not  make  a  man  a  "  native,"  pray  what 
does?  But  I  attach  not  the  slightest  importance 
to  the  accident  of  parentage  or  birthplace.  None 
of  us  are  permitted  to  select  either.  Only  these 
spiteful  and  persistent  falsehoods,  like  certain 
offensive  insects,  may  as  well  be  stamped  out  of 
existence.  The  slightest  bite  sometimes  conveys 
the  deadliest  venom.  The  friends  of  Mr  Moran, 
among  whom  I  claim  to  be  one  of  the  oldest  and 
warmest,  are  far  from  being  satisfied  at  his  re- 
moval as  First  Secretary  of  the  Legation  in 
London,  and  appointed  to  a  third  clerkship  in 
the  State  Department  at  Washington.  Mr  Moran 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  1 03 

has  filled  the  important  post  at  London,  often 
acting  as  Chargd  d? Affaires  in  the  absence  of 
Ministers,  for  some  twenty  years,  and  he  should 
long  since  have  been  raised  to  a  full  mission. 
He  is  the  best-educated  American  diplomatist 
in  Europe,  and  his  "  promotion  downwards "  is 
— well,  I  will  only  say,  Fish-y.  Mr  Moran's 
acceptance  has  not  yet  been  announced,  and  we 
hope  it  will  not  be,  unless  the  salary  is  very 
heavy  and  the  work  very  light.  In  the  meantime 
the  newspapers,  on  both  sides  of  the  Atlantic, 
are  "  breaking  his  fall "  with  the  softest  words 
and  the  sweetest  compliments.  Since  writing 
this  sentence,  I  learn  from  an  M.  C.  that  the 
salary  of  the  Third  Assistant  Secretary  of  State 
is  only  £900  a  year.  Another  victim  of  the  Fish 
torpedo  is  now  sitting  at  my  side.  Mr  C.  H. 
Branscombe,  for  many  years  American  Consul 
at  Manchester,  has  just  been  recalled,  and  no 
reason  assigned.  At  a  farewell  banquet  given 
him  by  the  leading  merchants  and  citizens,  Mr 
Branscombe  was  smothered  with  commendations 
of  his  personal  and  official  character,  filling 
columns  in  the  Manchester  papers.  The  ex- 
Consul  goes  to  Long  Branch  to-night  to  ask 
the  President  "what  it  means?"  Apropos  of 
President  Grant,  whom  I  saw  for  the  first  time 
last  Sunday,  sitting  on  the  piazza  of  his  pleasant 


1 04  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

seaside  cottage,  enjoying  his  Havana,  I  am  glad 
to  learn  from  one  of  his  intimate  friends  that 
the  stories  told  of  the  President's  excessive  in- 
dulgence in  whisky  are  "  political  exaggerations." 
Henry  Clews,  the  banker,  says  he  has  never  seen 
Grant  "  the  worse  for  liquor ;  "  that  his  favourite 
drink  is  champagne  ;  and  that  he  does  not  indulge 
over-freely  in  that  comparatively  harmless  beverage. 
Regard  for  the  high  office  he  holds,  which  men 
of  all  parties  and  all  nations  entertain,  makes 
this  a  very  welcome  fact.  Justice  to  the  President 
should  be  the  maxim,  even  of  his  enemies. 


AV  THE  UNITED  STATES.  10$ 


ELECTRICITY. 

ILL  health,  intense  heat,  "  Indians  on  the  war- 
path," detain  me  in  New  York  equally  against 
my  wishes  and  my  will.  But  no  one  in  this  world 
is  a  u  free  agent."  Therefore  ilfaut  etre  rdsignd. 
In  regard  to  health,  the  first  of  all  blessings,  fifty- 
five  Turkish  and  Electric  baths  are  telling  favour- 
ably. As  for  the  heat,  when  the  mercury  touches 
102°  in  the  shade,  locomotion  is  irksome,  not 
to  say  dangerous.  "  Sunstrokes  "  are  daily  in- 
creasing the  catalogue  of  mortality.  Suicides  are 
also  of  frequent  occurrence,  no  doubt  owing  to 
fever  of  the  brain  caused  by  the  torrid  atmosphere 
and  the  general  collapse  of  the  nervous  system. 
And  yet  for  the  last  two  weeks  scarcely  a  day  has 
passed  without  terrific  thunder-showers,  which 
seem  to  hang  over  us  for  an  hour  or  two  for  the 
express  purpose  of  hurling  their  fiery  bolts  upon 
the  devoted  city.  Not  even  in  the  tropics  have  I 
ever  witnessed  such  awful  exhibitions  of  electric 
combustion  as  during  the  last  two  weeks.  Even 


IO6  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

at  this  instant,  mid-day,  the  sheet  on  which  I 
write  is  momently  illuminated  by  fitful  flashes  of 
lightning,  while  "  the  rain  falls  in  torrents,  and 
the  thunder  rolls  deep."  My  old  reverence  for 
Electricity,  the  Prime  Minister  of  the  Almighty, 
increases  every  hour.  Night  before  last  a  "  spark  " 
fell,  seeming  as  large  as  the  sun,  into  the  great 
Oil  Tanks  of  Weehaken,  at  the  Erie  Railway 
station,  opposite  New  York,  and  suddenly  millions 
of  gallons  were  in  flame.  The  explosion  was 
terrific  ;  and  the  illumination,  with  a  dense,  jet- 
black  cloud  of  smoke  for  background,  was  inde- 
scribably grand.  This  fearful  calamity  was  eagerly 
used  by  the  "  Bears  "  to  depress  Erie,  but  on  the 
official  announcement  that  the  Company's  insurance 
exceeded  their  losses,  the  stock  went  up  instead  of 
down.  Poor  Bears  !  they  remind  me  of  the  satiri- 
cal old  distich  on  the  medical  doctor — 

"  Like  Death  himself,  unhappy  elf, 
He  lives  by  others  dying." 

I  have  spoken  of  Electricity  as  the  dread  destroyer 
of  life,  and  as  the  gentle  restorer  of  life — as  a 
Power  to  be  both  feared  and  adored.  Omnipotent 
as  this  power  appears  to  us,  it  is  destined  to  be 
the  slave,  and  not  the  master,  of  man.  The 
lightning  of  heaven  yielded  to  the  philosophy  of 
Franklin  when  he  sent  up  his  kite  in  the  midst 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  IO/ 

of  the  tempest,  drew  the  electric  fluid  from  the 
cloud,  and  "bottled  up  the  thunder." 

"  'Twas  Franklin  who  first  caught  the  horse, 
'Twas  harnessed  by  Professor  Morse." 

And  now,  "  swift  as  thoughts  of  love,"  it  has  be- 
come the  world's  messenger  at  everybody's  com- 
mand. In  the  coming  generations  it  will  supersede 
all  coarser  elements  for  producing  light,  heat,  and 
locomotion,  and  take  the  place  of  both  doctor  and 
druggist  as  healer  of  the  sick.  As  yet  the  power 
and  the  uses  of  Electricity  are  but  little  under- 
stood. Millions  of  men  in  all  ages  of  the  world 
have  naturally  and  devoutly  worshipped  the  Sun, 
as  the  brightest  and  grandest  representative  of 
Creative  Power.  Science  teaches  us  that  the  Sun 
himself,  and  the  whole  infinite  system  of  suns, 
are  but  the  visible,  atomic  manifestations  of  their 
Great  Electric  Cause — that  subtle,  omnipotent, 
Thought  which,  we  have  reverently  called  the 
Prime  Minister  of  the  Deity.  Consider  this  new 
and  marvellous  discovery  just  announced  in  Ame- 
rica. Musical  melodies  transmitted  over  electric 
wires  a  distance  of  2400  miles,  and  reproduced, 
note  for  note,  on  a  violin,  or  any  other  suitable 
instrument !  The  time  is  near,  we  are  assured, 
when  messages  across  seas  and  continents  will  be 
sent  viva  voce  without  the  use  of  any  interlocutory 


I O8  TRANSFORMA  7 ION  SCENES 

apparatus.  Even  now  there  are  telegraphic  experts 
in  New  York  whose  ears  are  so  acute  that  they 
can  tell  us  the  name  of  the  person  who  is  operat- 
ing at  the  other  end  of  the  line,  thousands  of  miles 
distant,  by  the  peculiarity  of  touch  or  "  click." 
It  has  become  a  common  thing  for  Wall  Street 
operators  to  go  into  a  telegraph-station  and  ask 
to  have  a  friend  called  to  the  station  in  Washing- 
ton, when  a  conversation  may  be  carried  on  for 
hours,  without  a  written  word  passing  between 
them.  "  I  have  had  half-an-hour's  chat  with  our 
friend  Col.  X.  to-day,"  said  a  friend  to  me  yester- 
day. "  I  thought  he  was  in  San  Francisco,"  was 
my  reply.  "  So  he  is  ;  but  I  sent  for  him  to  come 
to  the  telegraph-office  there,  and  we  monopolised 
the  wire,  until  an  important  operation  in  wheat 
was  made,  by  which,  after  selling  by  cable  to  de- 
liver in  Liverpool,  I  have  made  50,000  dollars, 
thanks  to  the  telegraph."  Who  would  have  be- 
lieved a  prophecy  to  this  effect  twenty-five  years 
ago?  And  yet  we  are  only  beginning  to  learn 
the  alphabet  of  science,  especially  the  mysteries 

of— 

"  That  electric  chain 
"Wherewith  we  are  darkly  bound." 

Spiritualism,  or  moral  electricity,  is  receiving  a 
new  impetus  just  now  in  New  York  from  the 
presence  of  a  Mr  Brown,  "  the  thought-reader." 


AV  THE  UNITED  STATES.         109 

This  extraordinary  public  "  Medium,"  who  is  giving 
illustrations  of  his  miraculous  talent,  will  find 
any  article,  no  matter  where  or  how  occultly  hidden, 
by  placing  the  hand  of  the  person  who  hid  it  on 
his  own  forehead,  and,  by  this  connection,  reading 
the  secret.  Perhaps  Dr  Lynn,  of  the  Egyptian 
Hall,  could  tell  us  "  how  it  is  done."  But  the 
people  here  "  don't  see  it."  Why  not  employ 
Brown  as  detective  for  the  recovery  of  stolen  goods  ? 
He  professes  to  be  able  to  read  a  murderer's 
thoughts,  when  he  can  get  hold  of  one,  and  give 
all  the  details  in  regard  to  the  victim.  Why  not 
submit  the  Beecher  case  to  this  infallible  test? 
With  the  Parson's  hand  on  the  "  Medium's  "  brow 
there  might  be  a  revelation  as  conclusive  as  that 
made  by  the  guilty  Queen  in  the  "  play  scene"  of 
"  Hamlet."  What  will  be  the  effect  on  Society 
when  it  comes  to  this  that  finely-organised  men 
and  women  can  read  each  other's  thoughts  "like 
books,"  may  be  more  easily  imagined  than  described. 
In  the  meantime,  we  are  compelled  to  believe  that 
there  is  one  mind  in  the  universe,  if  not  more,  that 
can  read  our  thoughts  as  easily  as  we  read  our  al- 
phabet. Let  us  drop  these  abstrusities,  and  quit 
fancies  for  facts.  On  Saturday,  the  llth  of  July, 
no  less  than  six  steamships  left  New  York  for 
Liverpool,  Glasgow,  and  Plymouth,  taking  out 
about  one  thousand  first-class  passengers.  The 


1 1 0  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

new  Britannic,  of  the  White  Star  Line,  had  every 
berth  occupied,  and  was  accompanied  down  the 
Bay  by  a  lar«:e  crowd  of  friends  and  admirers. 

V  V 

The  Britannic  has  made  a  great  sensation  in  New 
York ;  and,  like  a  belle  at  a  ball,  she  is  fully  en- 
gaged a  long  way  ahead.  That  is,  from  this  side. 
Two  classes  of  people  are  going  to  Europe  for  the 
summer,  instead  of  to  the  watering-places  at  home 
— pleasure-seekers,  and  merchants  engaged  in 
foreign  trade.  The  latter  generally  take  their 
families,  or  two  or  three  of  them  at  least.  This 
increasing  international  intercourse  produces  only 
good  results  on  both  sides  of  the  Atlantic.  These 
gigantic  steamers,  flying  to  and  fro  between  Europe 
and  America,  like  shuttles  in  a  loom,  are  weaving 
the  nations  closer  and  closer  together.  Trade  is 
benefited,  opinions  are  modified,  manners  are  im- 
proved, and  minds  are  expanded  and  cosmopoli- 
tanised.  Yes,  travel  is  the  very  best  means  of 
education ;  and  yet  something  besides  travel  is 
essential  to  that  rara  avis  in  terris,  a  " finished" 
gentleman  or  lady. 

"  A  man  may  have  studied  and  travelled  abroad, 
May  sing  like  Apollo,  and  paint  like  a  Claud, 
May  speak  all  the  languages  under  the  Pole, 
And  have  every  gift  in  the  world  but  a  Soul." 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  I  I  I 


GRANT. 

THIRD-TEEM  talk  is  a  chimera  of  the  New  York 
Herald ;  a  mere  scarecrow  set  up  as  a  target  for 
the  sharpshooters  of  the  Press  to  practise  on.  As 
yet  Grant  has  not  given  any  public  intimation  of 
a  desire  to  extend  his  Administration  from  eight 
years  to  twelve,  and  I  have  yet  to  find  the  politician 
or  journalist  who  has  openly  and  clearly  declared 
himself  in  favour  of  a  third-term  candidate.  The 
whole  people  are  opposed  to  it  as  a  violation  of  an 
unwritten  clause  in  the  Constitution.  Washington, 
Adams,  Jefferson,  and  all  the  early  Presidents 
deprecated  a  third-term  election  as  a  dangerous 
consolidation  of  executive  powers,  and  a  preliminary 
step  towards  despotism.  Perhaps  the  very  best 
thing  Congress  could  do,  before  the  Presidential 
election  of  1876,  would  be  to  extend  the  term 
from  four  years  to  eight,  or  ten,  and  prohibit 
re-election.  This  would  tend  to  elevate  the 
Administration  above  all  party  influences  and 
considerations,  while  relieving  the  country  from 


1 1 2  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

the  quadrennial  debauch  of  a  Presidential  cam- 
paign. It  would  also  ensure  a  more  settled  policy 
in  Federal  legislation.  As  a  new  House  is  to  be 
elected  in  the  coming  autumn,  this  question  of 
extending  the  Presidential  term  demands  im- 
mediate attention.  Although  Grant  is  silent  as 
a  sphinx  on  the  subject,  it  is  by  no  means 
certain  that  he  is  not  contemplating  a  new  lease 
of  power.  It  would,  no  doubt,  be  regarded  by 
this  "  happy  accident "  of  political  ambition  as 
a  "big  thing"  to  beat  his  illustrious  predecessors 
in  the  White  House  by  four  years,  while,  for  the 
greater  portion  of  the  period,  enjoying  a  doubled 
salary.  Besides,  the  most  sanguine  Republicans 
appear  to  give  up  all  hope  of  electing  any  other 
candidate  but  Grant.  This  consideration  may 
compel  his  re-nomination.  Mr  Speaker  Elaine, 
who  is  about  the  only  Republican  spoken  of  as 
Grant's  successor,  is  an  extreme  New  Englander, 
with  not  the  least  chance  of  success.  On  the 
Democratic  side  there  are  several  "  Richmonds  in 
the  field ;  "  but  the  big  potatoes  will  only  come  to 
the  top  after  the  jolting  of  the  Fall  elections.  At 
this  present  writing  Senator  Thurman,  of  Ohio, 
looms  up  largest,  and,  so  far  as  talent  and 
character  are  concerned,  Mr  Thurman  deserves  to 
be  regarded  as  Chief  of  the  Conservative  party. 
Thurman  and  Lamar  would  make  a  strong  ticket. 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  113 

But  I  \\ill  venture  no  more  political  forecastings 
to-day.  I  have  just  been  told  who  will  succeed 
Mr  Jewell  as  Minister  at  St  Petersburg,  but  I 
promised  not  to  tell.  I  am  authorised,  however, 
to  state  that  it  will  not  be  ex-Senator  Nye,  nor 
an  ex-Confederate  General,  although  the  former  is 
urged  by  Silver  Senator  Jones  of  Nevada,  and 
the  latter  is  a  bosom  friend  of  Grant.  Senator 
Jones,  by  the  way,  is  now  a  guest  at  the  "  Everett 
House,"  and,  with  his  snug  little  income  of 
250,000  dollars  a  month,  has  no  end  of  tl  friends." 
But  for  the  unfortunate  accident  of  being  a  born 
Englishman,  the  silver-coated  Senator  would 
stand  a  good  chance  of  becoming  President  of  the 
United  States.  The  Constitution  makes  Ameri- 
can nativity  a  sine  qua  non  qualification  for  the 
Presidency ;  although  certain  heretic  writers  con- 
tend that  George  Washington  was  born  in 
England,  while  Andrew  Jackson's  Irish  emigrant 
mother  arrived  only  just  in  time  to  save  him 
from  being  debarred  by  the  alien  law;  In  a 
recent  article  we  noticed  the  conspicuous  absence 
of  great  men  in  the  present  Senate  of  the 
United  States.  Almost  an  equal  degeneration 
may  be  found  both  in  the  profession  of  literature 
and  in  the  ranks  of  journalism.  In  our  own  day 
we  have  personally  known  and  admired  sujch 
•world-famous  editors  as  Bennett,  of  the  Hwald ; 

H 


114  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

Greeley,  of  the  Tribune ;  Raymond,  of  the  Times  ; 
Croswell,  of  the  Argus ;  Ritchie,  of  the  Union  ; 
Gales,  of  the  Intelligencer;  Prentice,  of  the 
Louisville  Journal,  &c.,  &c.  "All  are  gone,  the 
old  familiar  faces."  And  whom  have  we  left 
worthily  to  fill  their  places  ?  Bryant,  of  the 
Post ;  Brooks,  of  the  Express;  and  who  can  name 
another  ?  There  are,  no  doubt,  many  good  writers 
now  connected  with  the  American  Press,  but 
none  of  striking  individuality,  who  stand  out 
in  bold  relief,  like  the  veteran  knights  of  the 
quill  we  hare  named,  who  filled  the  field  of  jour- 
nalism during  the  last  quarter  of  a  century.  As 
for  American  poets  and  novelists,  they  seem  to 
be  rapidly  diminishing,  both  in  number  and 
in  celebrity.  After  Longfellow,  the  American 
Tennyson ;  Bryant,  the  minstrel  of  the  Past ; 
and  Joaquin  Miller,  the  Swinburne  of  the  "West, 
what  American  poet  is  there  to-day  that  commits 
himself  to  memory?  Even  N.  P.  Willis,  as  a 
writer  of  vers  de  societe,  has  left  no  successor. 
In  the  graver  field  of  historical  lore,  America 
may  boast  of  two  living  writers  second  to  none 
in  Europe — Bancroft  and  Motley.  The  latter  we 
do  not  hesitate  to  pronounce  the  greatest  historian 
of  the  age.  A  thorough  scholar,  an  accomplished 
gentleman — none  but  a  gentleman  can  write  pure 
classics — Motley's  works  are  more  truly  monu- 


'  IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  115 

mental  than  anything  in  the  way  of  literature  the 
New  World  has  yet  produced.  I  have  not  for- 
gotten in  this  category  Prescott  and  Irving, 
the  pure  historian,  and  the  delightful  essayist 
and  biographer.  Among  the  humorists,  or  funny- 
graphers  of  the  day,  America  rejoices  in  three 
who  have  suddenly  risen  to  the  top  wave  of 
popularity — Mark  Twain,  Bret  Harte,  and  John 
Hay.  As  an  illustration  of  how  this  talent  called 
wit  pays,  it  is  announced  that  Mark  Twain  has 
built  a  100,000  dollars'  villa,  Bret  Harte  receives 
500  dollars  for  a  one-page  story  in  the  Times, 
written  at  a  sitting,  and  Hay  has  "  possessed  him- 
self" of  a  precious  stone  worth  several  millions. 


1 1 6  TRANSFORMA  T10N  SCENES 


SARA  TOGA. 

THE  eyes  and  the  thoughts  of  young  America, 
masculine  and  feminine,  have  been  concentrated 
on  Saratoga  during  the  past  week.  On  the  16th 
of  July  the  Intercollegiate  Eegatta  was  announced 
to  come  off  on  Saratoga  Lake,  a  beautiful  sheet 
of  water,  about  three  miles  from  the  "  Springs," 
which  seems  to  have  been  expressly  prepared  for 
pleasure  purposes.  Nine  colleges  entered  for  the 
race,  and  we  will  name  them  in  the  order  in  which 
they  passed  the  "  stake  boat  " — Columbia,  Wes- 
leyan,  Harvard,  Williams,  Cornell,  Dartmouth, 
Princeton,  Trinity,  Yale.  The  rowing  Regatta  is 
a  new  "  institution  "  on  this  side  of  the  Atlantic  ; 
and,  like  the  principles  of  Magna  C/iarta,  and 
many  other  good  things,  is  imported  from  Eng- 
land. Judging  from  the  universal  interest,  I  may 
say  intense  excitement,  caused  by  this  rowing 
match,  we  may  well  conclude  that  Boating  has 
already  become  the  most  popular  item  in  the 
curriculum  of  American  college  "  exercises."  A 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  1 1/ 

few  facts  in  connection  with  this  contest  will  best 
illustrate  the  furore  it  has  created.  The  famous 
Spa,  known  as  Saratoga  Springs,  I  must  inform 
European  readers,  is  situated  some  180  miles  north 
of  New  York,  and  for  the  last  half-century  it 
has  been  the  grand  resort  of  health  and  pleasure 
seekers  from  all  parts  of  the  Union  ;  but  the 
u  season  "  is  brief,  lasting  only  from  the  1st  of 
July  to  the  1st  of  September.  Within  the  last 
decade  Saratoga  has  added  to  its  natural  attrac- 
tions of  pure  air  and  medicinal  waters  such  arti- 
ficial stimulants  as  horse-racing,  boat-racing,  and 
card-gambling.  In  these  fascinating  concomitants 
of  advanced  civilisation,  the  place  has  become 
almost  as  bewitchingly  wicked  as  the  delightful 
"  Hells  "  of  Homburg,  Baden,  and  Monaco.  But 
in  the  still  more  dangerous  accessories  of  what 
Paris  now  calls  "  cocottes,  or  Ladies  of  the  Lake," 
Saratoga  is  simply  "  nowhere."  It  is  ironically 
said  that  these  inverted  angels  would  stand  no 
chance  here  in  competition  with  the  more  respect- 
able or  "  honest  "  class  of  women.  But  I  do  not 
believe  a  word  of  it.  I  did  not  see  or  hear  any- 
thing in  all  this  vast  assemblage  that  was  in  the 
slightest  degree  shocking,  improper,  or  unvirtuous  ; 
and  why  should  we  ever  be  so  uncharitable  as  to 
infer  the  existence  thereof?  But  I  suppose  in 
this,  as  in  all  things  else,  "  he  that  seeketh  findeth  " 


1 1 8  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

— and  findeth  what  he  seeketh.  The  glorious  old 
Hudson,  or  North  River,  has  not  changed  in  all 
these  changeful  years,  only  its  banks  have  become 
dotted  with  villages,  and  embroidered  with  villas. 
Although  the  majestic  stream  is  perpetually  empty- 
ing itself  into  the  beautiful  Bay  of  New  York, 
yet  the  full  fresh  flood  seems  always  the  same, 
while  the  tide  still  ebbs  and  flows  with  the  long 
and  lazy  pulsation  of  the  sea.  Is  it  the  mystic 
influence  of  the  moon,  or  the  diurnal  motion  of 
the  earth,  that  causes  this  mathematical  movement 
of  the  waters  ?  The  latter,  no  doubt.  We  left 
the  hot  city  on  Tuesday  evening,  the  14th  of 
July,  at  six  o'clock,  in  the  immense  and  really 
magnificent  steamer  St  John  for  Albany.  The 
Regatta  was  advertised  for  the  16th,  and  from  all 
parts  of  the  country,  and  all  points  of  the  com- 
pass, the  tide  of  travel  was  rushing  towards  the 
Springs.  Our  "  floating  palace "  carried  nearly 
two  thousand  passengers,  all  "  first  class,"  but  of 
a  most  motley  mixture.  When  fairly  out  in  the 
stream,  a  delicious  moist-winged  breeze  came 
down  the  River,  fanning  the  panting  crowd  into 
a  mood  of  momentary  happiness.  People  are 
always  amiable,  and  generally  gay,  when  suddenly 
relieved  from  suffering.  I  have  known  the  most 
morose  men  to  dance  on  having  a  tooth  out,  on 
hearing  of  a  mother-in-law's  departure  for  a  better 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  IIQ 

world,  or   any  other   stroke  of  good  fortune  that 
"put   them   out  of  misery."     And   so  when  the 
cool  of  the  evening  came  waltzing  down  from  the 
Highlands,  our  happy  little  party  partook  of  the 
general  joy.     Yonkers,  a  few  miles  up  the  River, 
which  we  knew  almost  before  it  wore  trousers,  is 
now  a  considerable  city,  planted  in  the  midst  of 
a  forest.     Barring  the  mosquitoes,  if  there  are  any 
of  those  intolerable  little  bores  there,  no  town  in 
the  vicinity  of  New  York  looks  more  inviting  than 
this    same    Yonkers    with    its    awkward,    gawky 
name.      Why  not  do  as   young  ladies   sometimes 
do — change  it?     Speaking   of  mosquitoes,  I  will 
confess    to    a   little    weakness.      On    hearing  the 
old    familiar    music    of  these   devoted  serenaders 
for  the  first  time  in  many  years — the  tune  has  not 
varied  in  the  least — the  same  monotonous  cry  for 
blood — I  was  overcome  for  a  moment  by  sad  and 
painful    reminiscences.      I    remembered    all    the 
battles  I  had  fought  from  childhood  up  with  this 
diminutive  but   most  formidable  enemy,  and  re- 
called  the  child's  puzzling  question — l<  Mamma, 
you    say  nothing  is  made   in  vain.     What  were 
mosquitoes  made  for  ?  "     And  mamma,  I  am  sorrow 
to   say,  never  gave   a   satisfactory  answer   to  the 
earnest    inquiry.       English    readers    can    hardly 
realise  that  these   almost  invisible   insects  make 
certain    localities    in    this   country    uninhabitable 


1 2O  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

during  certain  months  of  the  year,  and  the  first 
question  I  would  advise  an  emigrant  to  settle 
before  settling  himself  in  any  particular  spot  in 
America,  is  the  all-important  mosquito  question. 
Grasshopper  and  locust  devastations  are  terrible 
calamities,  but  nothing  in  comparison  to  the 
visitation  of  the  mosquito  bore,  which  means, 
11  sleep  no  more  "  to  all  the  house.  I  have  already 
confessed  to  a  little  touch  of  sentimentality  on 
hearing  the  first  mosquito  chant  his  welcome  home 
after  so  long  an  absence ;  but  the  enemy  greatly 
outnumbers  me ;  fighting  is  useless ;  and  I  feel 
inclined  to  beat  a  hasty  retreat  out  of  the  enemy's 
country.  England,  with  all  her  faults,  has  no 
mosquitoes.  After  passing  a  few  restless  hours 
in  one  of  the  St  John's  numberless  "  Bridal 
State-rooms,"  with  its  spacious  and  sumptuous 
bed,  "  not  made  for  slumber,"  we  reached  Albany, 
the  State  capital,  150  miles  from  New  York,  at 
five  o'clock  A.M.,  and  at  seven  o'clock  took  the 
cars  for  Saratoga,  arriving  at  half-past  nine 
o'clock.  And  here  was  a  transformation  scene 
indeed  !  Four  new  hotels,  capable  of  accommodat- 
ing an  aggregate  of  6000  guests,  with  their  beau- 
tiful gardens,  seem  to  have  crowded  everything 
out  of  town,  occupying  the  whole  space  of  the  old 
village.  With  rooms  engaged  in  advance  at  the 
"  United  States,"  the  newest  and  the  grandest  of 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  121 

all  these  grand  hotels,  the  long  queue  at  "  the 
office  "  of  ardent  room-seekers  did  not  alarm  us. 
Breakfast  was  ready,  and  so  were  we.  The  din- 
ing-room covers  half  an  acre,  seats  1000  persons 
at  table,  who  are  received  by  an  army  of  200 
"  coloured  gentlemen,"  but  not,  as  formerly, 
dressed  in  the  cool,  clean  white  linen  uniform. 
Considering  that  the  hotel  had  just  been  opened, 
that  its  forces  had  not  had  sufficient  time  for 
organisation  and  drill,  and  that  there  were  no 
less  than  1500  persons  to  room  and  feed,  the 
administration  was  wonderfully  efficient  and  gene- 
rally satisfactory.  The  "  United  States  "  occupies 
the  site  of  the  old  hotel  of  the  same  name, 
which  was  destroyed  by  fire  nine  years  ago,  and 
the  phoanix  that  has  recently  risen  from  the  ashes, 
at  a  cost  of  a  million  of  dollars,  is  hailed  by  the 
public  as  a  favourite  work  revised,  and  improved 
in  type,  and  greatly  enlarged  in  margin.  There  is 
no  watering-place  hotel  that  I  have  seen,  or  heard 
of,  either  in  Europe  or  America,  that  equals  it  iu 
size,  accommodation,  and  comfort.  Saratoga  has 
one  principal  street,  Broadway,  on  which  the 
hotel  has  a  frontage  of  230  feet.  It  is  built  in 
the  form  of  a  hollow  parallelogram,  the  sides 
extending  715  feet,  embracing  a  garden,  hand- 
somely laid  out  in  walks,  and  lined  with  trees  and 
plants.  When  enlivened  with  playing  fountains, 


1 2  2  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

and  illuminated  with  gas  jets,  the  garden  of  the 
"  United  States  "  will  look  as  gay  as  a  little 
Mabille.  There  are  768  sleeping-rooms,  besides 
65  suites,  each  of  which  has  from  one  to  seven 
connecting  rooms,  with  baths,  &c.  The  dining- 
hall  measures  212  by  52  feet,  with  a  ceiling  of  26 
feet;  has  eight  chandeliers,  which,  with  the  38 
side-brackets,  give  a  total  of  276  burners.  The 
drawing-room  is  87  by  50  ;  ceiling,  26  feet ;  has 
14  windows,  and  75  gas-burners.  It  is  most 
elaborately  furnished  in  blue,  gold,  and  water- 
coloured  silks,  with  heavy  lambrequins  of  light- 
blue  silk.  The  furniture  of  this  room  cost  20,000 
dollars.  The  ball-room  is  112  by  52  feet ;  has  three 
chandeliers,  83  burners,  and  30  windows.  The 
Enunciator  is  20  feet  in  height,  and  cost  10,000 
dollars.  It  registers  916  rooms.  The  carpets  were 
furnished  by  A.  T.  Stewart  &  Co.  The  parlour 
carpet  is  an  Axminster  of  500  yards,  and  cost  four 
dollars  per  yard.  There  are  two  passenger  eleva- 
tors in  the  hotel.  The  piazzas  measure  2700  feet 
in  length,  and  the  lawn  covers  three  acres,  on  the 
south  margin  of  which  are  located  63  hotel  cot- 
tages. The  firm  which  manages  this  magnificent 
establishment  is  Aius worth,  Perry,  Tompkins,  & 
Co.  Mr  Marvin,  who  has  been  connected  with 
the  hotel  business  in  Saratoga  since  1830,  and 
who  for  some  years  represented  the  district  in 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  123 

Congress,  is  the  principal  stockholder  in  the  new 
concern,  and  still  keeps  his  eye  on  the  manage- 
ment from  the  force  of  habit ;  while  Major  Field, 
who  has  been  the  popular  "  room  clerk  "  of  the 
hotel  ever  since  he  was  three  feet  high,  is  still  at 
his  post,  with  pen  behind  his  ear,  and  the  same 
cordial  "  glad  to  see  you "  on  his  lips.  The 
sewage  and  "  w.  c.  "  improvements  of  the  "  United 
States,"  a  matter  of  fundamental  importance, 
hitherto  shamefully  overlooked  in  Saratoga  hotels, 
are  worthy  of  all  praise.  But  we  are  a  long  time 
in  getting  to  the  Regatta,  which,  by  the  way,  I 
shall  leave  to  the  sporting  papers  to  describe.  It 
was  announced  to  take  place  at  4  P.M.  on  the  16th, 
and  not  less  than  20,000  people,  perhaps  twice 
this  number,  gathered  on  the  borders  of  the  Lake 
as  eager  spectators  of  the  contest.  Owing  to  a 
little  roughness  of  the  surface  of  the  water,  the 
race  was  postponed  until  the  following  day  at  five 
o'clock,  and  again  postponed,  for  the  same  reason, 
until  the  third  day  at  ten  A.M.,  when  the  "  event" 
actually  took  place,  but  in  presence  of  a  greatly 
diminished  crowd  of  "  assistants."  The  result 
was  a  general  disappointment ;  at  the  same  time, 
it  created  a  whirlwind  of  rejoicing,  Columbia — the 
New  York  City  College  crew — having  only  taken 
to  the  water  within  the  last  two  years.  There  was 
a  great  deal  of  betting  on  the  match  ;  even  the 


124  TRANSFOKMA  TION  SCENES 

New  York  Stock  Exchange  suspended  the  regular 
business  for  pool  transactions  on  the  Regatta. 
The  "  fouling,"  and  consequent  unpleasantness 
between  Harvard  and  Yale,  were  the  only  clouds 
in  this  brilliant  fete.  The  moral  effect  of  all  this 
excitement  I  do  not  propose  to  discuss ;  but  leave 
that  to  parents,  guardians,  and  college  professors. 
No  doubt  "  muscular  Christianity "  is  a  good 
thing ;  but  the  habit  of  letting  is  not  a  good 
thing.  There  is  also  a  possibility  of  over-training 
and  over-straining.  One  of  the  rowers  in  the 
victorious  boat  fainted  on  passing  the  winning- 
point,  and  had  to  be  carried  ashore.  I  cannot 
leave  the  Regatta  without  contributing  my  modi- 
cum of  thanks  to  Mr  and  Mrs  Frank  Leslie — who, 
by  the  way,  were  united  in  holy  wedlock  last  week 
— for  the  generous  hospitality  extended  to  a  large 
number  of  friends  at  their  charming  Swiss  cottage 
— "  Interlaken  " — on  the  border  of  the  Lake,  from 
which  we  enjoyed  a  "  proscenium  "  view  of  the 
whole  performance  in  a  large  and  pleasant  com- 
pany of  distinguished  persons,  including  Mrs  Ann 
S.  Stephens,  the  authoress ;  Hon.  Fernando 
Wood,  Hon.  Augustus  Schell,  George  Francis 
Train,  W.  H.  Vanderbilt,  and  many  others  not 
unknown  to  fame.  The  grand  Balls,  in  com- 
memoration of  the  "  event,"  simultaneously  in 
motion  at  the  four  great  hotels,  commenced  at 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  12$ 

six  P.M.  on  Saturday,  and  closed  at  midnight,  the 
good  orthodox  Saratogans  not  daring,  as  in  Paris 
and  other  cosmopolitan  cities,  to  borrow  a  few 
hours  of  the  Lord  on  Sunday  morning.  The 
difficulty,  however,  might  have  been  got  over  by 
stopping  the  clock  before  twelve.  The  daily  papers 
of  the  following  Monday  were  largely  occupied  in 
descriptions  of  the  belles,  and  the  items  and 
fashions  of  their  toilettes.  As  the  clothes  line  is 
not  exactly  in  mine,  I  will  only  quote  one  or  two 
"  cases "  from  other  journals,  and  these  only 
because  they  are  Cosmopolitan  subscribers,  and 
therefore  deserve  especial  recognition.  Among 
the  young  belles,  the  rising  stars  of  American 
society,  none  sparkled  more  brilliantly  than  Sue 
Train,  the  only  daughter  of  George  k Francis,  who 
was  "  engaged  ahead  "  for  dances  enough  to  last 
through  the  season.  As  this  gifted  and  accom- 
plished young  lady  is  a  special  pet  of  the  Pre- 
sidente  of  our  "  Ladies'  Club,"  there  was  more 
than  one  wish  expressed  that  "  The  Countess " 
could  have  been  present  to  have  sketched  this 
graceful  Train  in  motion.  But  the  father's  con- 
stant devotion  to  his  beautiful  "  photograph," 
like  a  blacksmith's  leather  apron,  keeps  off  the 
"  sparks  ;  "  and  Mdlle  Sue-belle,  with  her  exigeant 
standard  of  manhood,  will  not  be  easily  suited. 
The  next  on  our  list  is  Mrs  Judge  Smith,  a  charm- 


1 26  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

ing  matron  of  Chicago,  long  resident  in  Europe, 
and  a  thorough  cosmopolitan.  The  gems  she 
wears,  and  the  "jewels  "  that  follow  in  her  train, 
three  sons  and  one  daughter,  make  her  presence 
everywhere  luminous  and  delightful,  while  the 
smiling  partner  of  all  her  joys  and  treasures  makes 
every  one  he  meets  happy  by  the  magnetic  grasp 
of  his  cordial  and  generous  hand.  Another  cos- 
mopolitan belle  is  thus  "  touched  up "  by  the 
Herald: — "  Mrs  0.  H.  Blood,  of  New  York,  one 
of  the  belles  of  the  ball,  was  dressed  in  rich  white 
gros  grain,  the  train  trimmed  with  plaited  ruffles 
of  the  same  material,  and  the  front  braid  arranged 
in  puffs  ;  a  white  blonde  overdress,  caught  up 
with  clusters  of  roses ;  low  corsage  and  short 
sleeves,  trimmed  with  lace  in  plaits.  She  wore 
rich  diamonds,  and  her  hair  was  arranged  iu  chate- 
lain  braids,  with  clusters  of  curls,  looking  very 
becoming."  In  naming  the  celebrities  at  Sara- 
toga, it  might  be  deemed  a  little  invidious  if  no 
mention  was  made  of  the  presence  of  Commodore 
Vanderbilt,  Jay  Gould,  and  President  Grant. 
Mr  Gould  happened  to  be  seated  near  me  in  a 
"  Drawing-room  "  car  down  to  New  York.  He 
is  a  small,  sharp,  dark,  bright-eyed  man,  who  can 
"  see "  his  antagonist's  game,  and  "  go  him 
better  "  quicker  than  any  other  gambler  in  Wall 


'IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  I2/ 

Street.  He  does  not  look  more  than  forty  years 
of  age  ;  but  men  of  his  "  calling "  sometimes 
live  years  in  minutes,  and  grow  old  very  fast. 
Vanderbilt  has  "  lived  "  more  in  eighty  years  than 
most  men  would  in  a  hundred  and  sixty. 


128  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 


BEECHER. 

THE  newspapers  of  the  day  are  again  filled  with 
the  "  Beecher  Scandal,"  the  formal,  circumstan- 
tial, sworn  statement  of  Theodore  Tilton,  and 
everybody  is  discussing  the  comparative  merits  of 
saints  and  sinners.  So  far  as  my  own  experience 
of  the  world  goes,  the  greatest  saints  are  the 
greatest  sinners,  simply  because,  while  arrogating 
to  themselves  all  the  virtues,  they  practise,  under 
the  garb  of  sanctity,  all  the  vices  of  humanity. 
Men  who  boast  of  having  "got"  religion,  as  if  it 
were  something  in  the  shape  of  a  first-class  rail- 
way ticket  to  heaven,  are  never  to  be  trusted. 
The  very  profession  is  a  falsehood  and  a  fraud. 
An  honest  man,  one  who  will  not  lie  to  save,  I 
will  not  say  his  soul,  but  his  fortune — a  man  of 
integrity  and  of  honour  has  all  the  "  religion  " 
necessary  for  this  world,  or  any  other.  Such  a 
man  would  not  steal  his  friend's  purse,  much  less 
the  affections  of  his  friend's  wife,  even  though  he 
belonged  to  no  "  church,"  and  was  denounced  by 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  1 29 

all  the  saints  as  a  "wicked  man  of  the  world." 
"  You  are  very  beautiful  and  sorely  tempting," 
said  Joseph  to  Mrs  Potiphar,  "  but  you  are  the 
consecrated  wife  of  one  who  calls  me  his  friend, 
and  confides  in  my  honour.  You  would  despise 
me  if  I  were  to  rob  your  husband's  bank,  and 
assist  by  ybur  testimony  in  sending  me  to  prison. 
How  much  more  should  I  despise  myself  if  I  were 
to  rob  him  of  his  wife's  honour,  the  l  immediate 
jewel  of  the  soul !  '  We  are  not  quoting  the 
words  of  the  Rev.  Artemus  Ward  Beecher,  ad- 
dressed to  the  wife  of  his  dear  friend  Tilton ;  only 
the  words  that  every  honourable  "  sinner  "  would 
use  under  the  trying  circumstances.  Without 
going  into  the  repulsive  details  of  this  infamous 
story  of  "religious  "  seduction,  we  cannot  altogether 
ignore  a  revelation  that  brings  out  in  bold  relief 
"the  devil's  pet  sin,  hypocrisy."  The  New  York 
Tribune  says — "  Unless  this  frightful  exposition 
is  answered  promptly  and  fully,  the  most  famous 
pulpit  the  world  has  ever  seen  since  Paul  preached 
on  the  Hill  of  Mars  is  silenced,  the  life  of  the 
greatest  preacher  in  the  world  is  ended.  It  is 
useless  ,to  fall  back  upon  the  record  of  a  spotless 
and  glorious  career.  There  is  no  longer  safety  or 
dignity  in  the  proud  silence  which  would  have  so 
well  become  the  great  pastor  if  there  were  no 

words  of  his  own  to  be  explained."     We  do  not 

i 


1 3  O  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

agree  with  the  Tribune  in  regard  to  Beecher's 
"  greatness."  Eccentricity  is  not  greatness. 
Beecher  is  certainly  a  man  of  talent,  and  of 
cultivation,  and  in  this  respect  he  may  even  out- 
rank the  preacher  of  Mars  Hill.  But  he  is  simply 
a  pulpit  orator  and  actor,  always  speaking  and 
posing  for  effect.  All  his  sermons  and  speeches 
are  pregnant  with  "amativeness."  Hence  full 
houses,  and  a  revenue  of  50,000  dollars  a  year. 
Beecher  for  thirty  years  has  lived  the  life  of  a 
Sybarite,  and  knows  nothing  practically  of  the 
self-sacrificing  doctrines  of  Christianity.  He  is 
simply  a  "  pious  fraud,"  and  no  man  knows  it 
better  than  himself.  And  this  is  more  or  less 
true  of  all  the  "  saints  "  of  the  I-am-holier-than- 
thou  persuasion.  The  last  time  I  saw  his  Rever- 
ence he  was  sitting  in  the  Champs  Elysees,  witli 
a  very  red  face,  beside  a  pretty  cocotte,  and  a 
glass  in  his  hand  that,  destined  to  any  "  sinner's  " 
lips,  would  have  naturally  and  honestly  passed  for 
a  glass  of  "  B.  and  S."  Mr  Theodore  Tilton's 
statement  of  his  charges  and  proof  against  Mr 
Beecher,  as  read  to  the  Committee  of  Beecher's 
particular  friends,  has  been  published.  It  is,  in 
terms,  a  specific  allegation  of  adultery,  committed 
by  Mr  Beecher  with  Mrs  Til  ton,  first  at  Mr 
Beecher's  own  house  on  the  evening  of  October 
10,  1868,  and  frequently  thereafter  at  the  resid- 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  131 

ences  of  both,  and  elsewhere,  until  the  spring  of 
1870.  It  alleges  Mr  Tilton's  discovery  of  Mr 
Beecher  locked  up  with  Mrs  Tilton  in  her  bed- 
room :  his  seeing  improper  liberties  taken  with 
her  by  Mr  Beecher  in  his  library;  Mrs  Tilton's 
own  confession  to  him  of  her  guilt,  and  her  ex- 
planations of  it,  on  July  3,  1870;  that  this  con- 
fession was  subsequently  put  in  writing  by  her, 
and  was  shown  by  Mr  F.  D.  Moultou  to  Mr 
Beecher ;  that  Mr  Beecher  first  procured  from 
Mrs  Tilton  a  written  retraction  of  the  whole 
story,  and  then  confessed  to  Mr  Moulton  his  own 
guilt,  returned  to  the  latter  Mrs  Tilton's  retrac- 
tion, and  threatened  suicide  in  case  of  exposure. 
The  full  text  of  Mr  Beecher's  apology  is  given, 
with  parts  of  several  other  letters  by  him,  ad- 
dressed, like  it,  to  Mr  Moulton,  all  expressing 
remorse  and  contrition  for  some  great  but  unnamed 
wrong  done  Mr  and  Mrs  Tilton.  A  letter  from 
Mr  Beecher  to  Mr  Tilton  eulogises  Moulton  as  the 
friend  who  had  tied  up  the  storm  ready  to  burst 
on  their  heads.  A  letter  from  Mrs  Tilton  to  her 
husband,  naming  no  one,  says  she  first  saw  that 
the  love  she  felt  and  received  was  sinful  on  read- 
ing "  Griffith  Gaunt,"  and  assures  her  husband 
now  of  a  purified  and  restored  love  whenever  he 
turns  towards  her  with  true  feeling.  The  latter 
part  of  the  statement  deals  with  the  provocations 


132  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

given  for  this  exposure  by  both  Mr  Moulton  and 
Mr  Tilton ;  and  with  the  happiness  and  quiet  of 
the  family  life  thus  destroyed  for  ever.  "We  have 
little  respect  for  poor  Tilton,  notwithstanding  the 
cruel  wrong  he  has  received  from  the  "  Pastor  " 
whom  he  worshipped,  the  priest  who  married  him, 
and  the  "  friend  "  who  offered  to  "  share  with 
him  his  fortune."  Once  satisfied  of  the  terrible 
fact,  Tilton  should  either  have  killed  Beecher  or 
quit  his  wife.  If  there  is  any  sincerity  in  Beecher's 
"longing  for  death,"  this  would  have  been  the 
greatest  possible  favour  to  the  Seducer.  The  fol- 
lowing letter  is  the  cry  of  a  guilty  conscience, 
after  the  crime  is  detected. 

"  MY  DEAR  FRIEND  MOULTON, — I  ask,  through  you,  Theodore 
Tilton's  forgiveness,  and  I  humble  myself  before  him  as  I  do 
before  my  God.  He  would  have  been  a  better  man  in  my 
circumstances  than  I  have  been.  I  can  ask  nothing,  except 
that  he  \vill  remember  all  the  other  breasts  that  would  ache. 
I  will  not  plead  for  myself.  I  even  wish  that  I  were  dead. 
But  others  must  live  to  suffer.  I  will  die  before  any  one  but 
myself  shall  be  inculpated.  All  my  thoughts  are  running  out 
toward  my  friends,  and  toward  the  poor  child  lying  there,  and 
praying  with  her  folded  hands.  She  is  guiltless,  sinned 
against,  bearing  the  transgression  of  another.  Her  forgiveness 
I  have.  I  humbly  pray  to  God  to  put  it  into  the  heart  of  her 
husband  to  forgive  me.  I  have  trusted  this  to  Moultou  in 
confidence.  H.  W.  BEECHER." 

An  innocent  man,  falsely  calumniated,  is  bold, 
proud,  defiant,  and  does  not  drop   on  his   knees 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  133 

whimpering  for  "  forgiveness."  The  next  letter 
is  addressed  to  Mrs  Tiltou  by  her  husband's  per- 
mission : — 

"BROOKLYN,  February  7,  1871. 

"  MY  DEAR  MRS  TILTON, — When  I  saw  you  last,  I  did  not  ex- 
pect ever  to  see  you  again,  or  to  be  alive  many  days.  God  was 
kinder  to  me  than  were  my  own  thoughts.  The  friend  whom 
God  sent  to  me,  Mr  Moulton,  has  proved,  above  all  friends 
that  I  ever  had,  able  and  willing  to  help  me  in  this  terrible 
emergency  of  my  life.  His  hand  it  was  that  tied  up  the 
storm  that  was  ready  to  burst  on  our  heads.  You  have  no 
friend  (Theodore  excepted)  who  has  it  in  his  power  to  serve 
you  so  vitally,  and  who  will  do  it  with  such  delicacy  and 
honour.  It  does  my  sore  heart  good  to  see  in  Mr  Moulton  an 
unfeigned  respect  and  honour  for  you.  It  would  kill  me  if  I 
thought  otherwise.  He  will  be  as  true  a  friend  to  your  honour 
and  happiness  as  a  brother  could  be  to  a  sister's.  In  him  we 
have  a  common  ground.  You  and  I  may  meet  in  him.  The 
past  is  ended.  But  is  there  no  future  ?  No  wiser,  higher, 
holier  future  1  May  not  this  friend  stand  as  a  priest  in  the 
new  sanctuary  of  reconciliation,  and  mediate  and  bless 
Theodore  and  my  most  unhappy  self  ?  Do  not  let  my 
earnestness  fail  of  its  end.  You  believe  in  my  judgment.  I 
have  put  myself  wholly  and  gladly  in  Moulton's  hand.  And 
there  I  must  meet  you.  This  is  sent  with  Theodore's  consent, 
but  he  has  not  read  it.  Will  you  return  it  to  me  by  his  own 
hand  ?  I  am  very  earnest  in  this  wish,  for  all  our  sakes,  as 
such  a  letter  ought  not  to  be  submitted  to  even  a  chance  of 
miscarriage. — Your  unhappy  friend,  H.  W.  BEECHER." 

The  following  letter  to  Moulton  is  full  of  con- 
fession, especially  in  what  may  be  read  between 

the  lines  : — 

"  February  7, 1871. 

"  MY  DEAR  FRIEND  MOULTON,— I  am  glad  to  send  you  a  book, 
&c.  ...  Many,  many  friends  has  God  raised  up  to  me,  but 


134  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

to  no  one  of  them  has  He  ever  given  the  opportunity  and  the 
wisdom  so  to  serve  me  as  you  have.  You  have  also  proved 
Theodore's  friend  and  Elizabeth's.  Does  God  look  down  from 
heaven  on  three  unhappier  creatures  that  more  need  a  friend 
than  these  ?  Is  it  not  an  intimation  of  God's  intent  of 
mercy  to  all  that  each  one  of  these  has  in  you  a  tried  and 
proved  friend  ]  But  only  in  you  are  we  thus  united.  Would 
to  God,  who  orders  all  hearts,  that  by  His  kind  mediation 
Theodore,  Elizabeth,  and  I  could  be  made  friends  again. 
Theodore  will  have  the  hardest  task  in  such  a  case  ;  but  has 
he  not  proved  himself  capable  of  the  noblest  things  ?  I 
wonder  if  Elizabeth  knows  how  generously  he  has  carried 
himself  toward  me.  Of  course  I  can  never  speak  with  her 
again  without  his  permission,  and  I  do  not  know  that  even 
then  it  would  be  best " 

To  show  the  feeling  entertained  by  Mrs  Heloise 
Tilton  towards  her  Abelard  before  the  "  pastoral 
visits  "  and  {t  nest  hiding  "  game  of  her  seducer, 
we  quote  the  following  warm  and  gushing  effu- 
sions : — 

"  Tuesday  Morning,  January  28,  1868. 
"MY  BELOVED, — Don't  you  know  the  peculiar  phase  of 
Christ's  character  as  a  lover  is  so  precious  to  me  because  of 
my  consecration  and  devotion  to  you  ?  I  learn  to  love  you 
from  my  love  to  Him.  Nor  do  I  feel  one  whit  irreverent. 
And  as  every  day  I  adorn  myself,  consciously,  as  a  bride  to 
meet  her  bridegroom,  so  in  like  manner  I  lift  imploring  hands 
that  my  soul's  love  may  be  prepared.  I,  with  the  little  girls, 
after  you  left  us,  with  overflowing  eyes  and  hearts,  conse- 
crated ourselves  to  our  work  and  to  you.  My  waking  thoughts 
last  night  were  of  you.  My  rising  thoughts  this  morning 
were  of  you.  I  bless  you  ;  I  honour  you  ;  I  love  you.  God 
sustain  us,  and  help  us  both  to  keep  our  vows." 


7/V  THE  UNITED  STATES.  135 

"Saturday  Evening,  February  1,  1868. 
"  Oh  !  well  I  know,  as  far  as  I  am  capable,  I  love  you.  Now 
to  keep  this  fire  high  and  generous  is  the  ideal  before  me.  I 
am  only  perfectly  contented  and  restful  when  you  are  with 
me.  These  latter  months  I  have  thought,  looked,  and  yearned 
for  the  hour  when  you  would*  be  at  home  with  longings  un- 
utterable." 

"Monday,  February  3,  1868 — 9  o'clock  A.M. 
"  What  may  I  bring  to  my  beloved  this  bright  morning  ?    A 
large  throbbing  heart  full  of  love,  single  in  its  aim  and  purpose 
to  bless  and  cheer  him  ?     Is  it  acceptable,  sweet  one  ? " 

"  Monday  Morning,  February  24,  1868. 
"  Do  you  wonder  that  I  couple  your  love,  your  presence,  and 
relation  to  me  with  the  Saviour's  ?  I  lift  you  up  sacredly,  and 
keep  you  in  that  exalted  and  holy  place  where  I  reverence, 
respect,  and  love,  with  the  fervency  of  my  whole  being.  "What- 
ever capacity  I  have,  I  offer  it  to  you.  The  closing  lines  of  your 
letter  are  these  words — '  I  shall  hardly  venture  again  upon  a 
great  friendship — your  love  shall  be  enough  for  the  remaining 
days.'  That  word  '  enough '  seems  a  stoicism  on  which  you 
have  resolved  to  live  your  life — but  I  pray  God  He  will  supply 
you  with  friendships  pure,  and  with  wifely  love  which  your 
great  heart  demands,  withholding  not  Himself  as  the  Chief 
Love  which  consumeth  not  though  it  burn,  and  whose  effects 
are  always  perfect  rest  and  peace.  Again,  in  one  of  your 
letters  you  close  with  '  Faithfully  yours ' — that  word  Faith- 
ful means  a  great  deal.  Yes,  darling,  I  believe  it,  trust  it 
and  give  you  the  same  surety  with  regard  to  myself.  I  am 
faithful  to  you,  have  been  always,  and  shall  for  ever  be,  world 
without  end.  Call  not  this  assurance  impious  ;  there  are 
some  things  we  know.  Blessed  be  God." 

"  Home,  February  29,  1868 — Saturday  Evening. 

"  Ah  !  did  ever  man  ever  love  so  grandly  as  my  Beloved  ? 

Other  fiiendships,  public  affairs,  all  'fall  to  nought'  when  I  come 

to  you.     Though  you  are  in  Dacotah  to-night,  yet  I  have  felt 

your  love,  and  am  very  grateful  for  it.     I  had  not  received  a 


1 3  6  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

line  since  Monday,  and  was  so  hungry  and  lonesome,  that  I 
took  out  all  your  letters  and  indulged  myself  as  at  a  feast,  but 
without  satiety.  And  now  I  long  to  pour  out  into  your 
heart  of  my  abundance.  I  am  conscious  of  three  jets  to  the 
fountain  of  my  soul — to  the  Great  Lover  and  yourself — to 
whom  as  one  I  am  eternally  wedded  ;  my  children  ;  and  the 
dear  friends  who  trust  and  love  me.  I  do  not  want  another 
long  separation.  While  we  are  in  the  flesh  let  us  abide 
together." 

"  Saturday  Morning,  March  1868. 

"  Oh,  how  almost  perfectly  could  I  minister  to  you  this 
winter,  my  heart  glows  so  perpetually  !  I  am  conscious  of 
great  inward  awakening  toward  you.  If  I  live,  I  shall  teach 
my  children  to  begin  their  loves  where  now  I  am.  I  cannot 
conceive  of  anything  more  delicious  than  a  life  consecrated 
to  a  faithful  luve.  I  insist  that  I  miss  you  more  than  you 
do  me,  but  soon  I  shall  see  my  beloved. 

"  YOUR  OWN  DEAR  WIFE." 

And  the  "  dear  wife,"  who  dipped  her  pen  in  her 
heart  when  writing  the  above,  is  now  in  "  battle 
array"  against  her  own  Theodore,  adding  the  crime 
of  perjury  to  the  sin  of  adultery,  in  order  to  save 
Plymouth  Church  and  its  "  popular  pastor !  "  0 
frailty,  thy  name  is — Elizabeth  !  Here  let  us  pass 
the  great  "  Religious  Scandal"  over  to  the  judg- 
ment of  history,  which,  in  the  end,  is  sure  to  be 
just.  The  minor  sensations  of  the  day  are  the 
kidnapping  of  a  four-year-old  boy  in  Philadelphia, 
and  the  "boy  murderer"  in  Boston.  In  the 
former  heartrending  outrage  the  child-thieves  are 
negotiating  through  the  Press  with  the  agonised 
parents  for  the  surrender  of  the  boy,  20,000  dollars 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  137 

having  been  raised  for  the  ransom.  The  city  should 
offer  at  least  100,000  dollars  for  the  arrest  of  the 
perpetrators  of  the  atrocious  crime.  Jesse  Pomeroy, 
the  boy  brute,  who  murdered  little  Katie  Curran 
from  pure  "  cussedness,"  is  the  lion  of  Boston. 
He  is  the  son  of  a  butcher,  and  the  amiable  theory 
has  been  started  that  he  inherited  the  love  of  kill- 
ing, and  that  the  natural  propensity  is  irresistible. 
But  the  mother  of  the  young  monster  has  come 
out  with  a  denial  of  the  inherited  theory,  and  says 
his  father  was  not  actually  a  butcher  of  animals, 
but  only  served  the  dead  meat.  She  also  pub- 
lishes a  statement  that  will  be  "  nuts  "  to  our 
anti-vaccination  friends.  We  quote  from  Mrs 
Pomeroy 's  letter  to  the  Boston  journals  : — "  I  have 
frequently  received  letters  from  persons  in  all  parts 
of  the  country,  principally  in  the  West,  asking  for 
some  of  Jesse's  hair,  and  other  absurd  requests, 
that  I  have  not  paid  any  attention  to.  The 
story  of  Jesse  sticking  knives  into  raw  flesh 
is  also  false.  I  think  his  vaccination  had  more 
effect  on  him  than  anything  else.  He  was 
vaccinated  when  he  was  four  weeks  old,  and  shortly 
after  his  face  broke  out,  and  had  the  appearance 
of  raw  flesh,  and  some  fluid  issued  from  the  wounds 
that  burned  my  arm  when  it  dropped  on  it,  from 
which  fact  I  judged  the  fluid  was  poison.  This 
lasted  until  he  was  six  months  old,  when  his  whole 


I  3  8  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

body  was  covered  with  abscesses,  one  of  which  was 
over  his  eye,  and  occasioned  the  cast  or  fallen 
appearance  that  he  wears  at  present.  At  the  time 
it  was  thought  he  would  die,  but  he  recovered 
slowly,  and  Dr  Lane,  who  attended  him,  stated 
that  all  the  sickness  was  occasioned  by  vaccina- 
tion." After  this,  let  those  who  will  vaccinate 
their  children ;  but  against  the  law  that  makes 
this  disgusting  superstition  "  compulsory  "  we  feel 
it  our  duty  to  stoutly  and  persistently  rebel. 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  139 


PROVIDENCE. 

IT  was  a  tedious  ten  hours'  rail-ride  from  Stephen- 
town,  N.Y.,  to  Boston;  but  one  that  I  shall  not 
soon  forget,  on  account  of  a  most  murderous  acci- 
dent that  happened  to  a  fellow-passenger.  Accident 
is  not  the  word  for  the  atrocity  I  am  about  to  re- 
late. Just  before  arriving  at  the  Palmer  Station, 
between  Springfield  and  Worcester,  a  sharp,  jagged 
stone,  about  the  size  of  a  man's  fist,  was  hurled 
with  great  force  through  the  left  front  window  of 
the  car,  inflicting  a  fearful,  if  not  fatal,  wound  on 
the  head  of  a  lady  sitting  directly  in  front  of  me. 
A  deep  gash  was  made  in  the  scalp  about  an  inch 
above  the  temple,  from  which  the  blood  flowed  pro- 
fusely over  the  lady  and  the  infant  in  her  arms. 
At  the  same  instant  a  still  larger  stone  was  thrown 
into  the  smoking-car  forward,  also  badly  wounding 
a  gentleman  in  the  head.  Both  victims  were  left 
at  the  station,  the  lady  in  a  state  of  insensibility 
On  the  succeeding  evening,  when  that  same  train, 
the  Albany  and  Boston  Express,  was  approaching 


1 4O  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

the  same  station,  a  rail  was  discovered  across  the 
track,  which,  not  being  fastened,  was  thrown  off 
by  the  "  cow-catcher."  A  large  reward  has  been 
offered  by  the  Railway  Company  for  these  repeated 
outrages,  and  one  or  two  vagabonds  have  been 
arrested  on  suspicion.  It  is  a  singular  coincidence 
that  this  same  train,  in  charge  of  the  same  con- 
ductor, was  fired  into  near  Natick  some  two  months 
ago,  and  a  gentleman  sitting  near  me  when  the 
lady  was  hit  most  narrowly  escaped  the  bullet  of 
the  indiscriminate  assassin.  I  will  relate  another 
incident  in  connection  with  this  affair,  for  the  special 
gratification  of  superstitious  believers  in  "  signs 
and  warnings/'  When  this  lady,  predestined  to 
be  wounded,  entered  the  car  at  Springfield,  she 
was  accompanied  by  her  husband,  a  little  girl  of 
about  three  years,  and  an  infant  of,  perhaps,  as 
many  months.  Among  the  luggage  brought  into 
the  car  was  a  large  looking-glass,  which  was  placed 
upright  in  the  corner,  in  front  of  the  family  party. 
Soon  after  leaving  the  station,  by  a  sudden  lurch 
of  the  car  the  looking-glass  fell  with  a  crash, 
breaking  into  a  thousand  pieces,  which  seemed 
greatly  to  disconcert  the  young  wife,  and  to  cause 
an  animated  conversation  on  the  subject  with  her 
husband.  At  the  very  moment  the  missile  struck 
the  poor  lady  senseless,  I  was  "  wondering  "  what 
accident  would  befall  the  party  in  consequence  of 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  l^l 

tins  small  calamity.  And  I  am  not  superstitious. 
Fifteen  years  ago,  in  travelling  by  rail  through  a 
dense  forest  in  South  Carolina  in  a  pitch-dark 
night,  in  company  with  Charles  Mackay,  the  poet, 
as  we  were  sitting  side  by  side,  a  bullet  crashed 
through  the  window  and  whizzed  before  our  noses. 
But  this  bullet  had  not  its  "  billet "  for  either  of 
us.  No  accident  can  forestall  destiny ;  and,  admit- 
ting God's  omniscience — and  without  omniscience 
God  is  not  infinite — each  man's  exit  from  the  world 
is  just  as  fixed  as  his  entrance.  This  "belief"  is 
denounced  as  "  fatalism."  It  is  simply  absolute 
faith  and  confidence  in  the  Deity,  a  perfect  faith 
that  "  casteth  out  fear."  All  along  through  Mas- 
sachusetts the  country  has  become  populous  with 
villages,  while  the  large  towns  are  doubling  every 
ten  years,  and  nearly  all  the  land  is  under  cultiva- 
tion. Although  only  settled  250  years,  the  "  Old 
Bay  State  "  really  begins  to  look  like  an  old  country. 
Pittsfield,  Springfield,  Worcester,  have  grown  into 
places  of  great  wealth  and  importance,  and  the 
cheering  word  thrift  is  written  on  farms,  fences, 
houses,  and  manufactories  all  the  way  from  Berk- 
shire to  Bunker's  Hill.  In  no  State  are  the  various 
industries  which  make  up  the  wealth  and  happiness 
of  a  people  cultivated  more  thoroughly,  economi- 
cally, and  intelligently,  than  in  the  Mother  State 
of  the  Union  by  the  descendants  of  the  "  Old 


1 42  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

Colonies  "  of  Plymouth,  Salem,  and  Boston.  "  But 
I  shall  offer  no  encomium  on  Massachusetts  ;  there 
she  is,  and  there  is  her  history."  I  found  Boston 
immensely  expanded,  and  vastly  improved  by  time, 
fire,  and  reconstruction.  But  Webster,  Everett, 
Choate,  Lawrence,  Prescott,  are  no  longer  there 
to  gild  the  fair  city  with  the  lustre  of  their  glori- 
ous names.  Yet  they  "  still  live  "  in  grateful 
memories,  and,  like  the  immortal  authors  and 
orators  of  Greece,  crown  our  "  modern  Athens  " 
with  the  unfading  halo  of  immortal  genius.  Boston 
has  something  more  than  material  wealth  to  boast 
of.  Of  all  New  England  towns  Providence  appears 
to  be  the  most  substantially  prosperous.  Since 
1840  the  population  of  the  city  has  quintupled, 
having  risen  from  20,000  to  100,000,  and  the 
wealth  of  the  inhabitants  has  increased  in,  perhaps, 
even  a  greater  ratio.  Nowhere  have  I  met  more 
striking  "  transformation  scenes  "  than  in  the  once 
familiar  streets  of  the  "  City  of  Roger  Williams," 
where,  in  1836,  when  a  very  "  young  youth,"  I 
wrote  the  "  Anonymous  Ode  "  commemorative  of 
the  second  centennial  anniversary  of  the  landing 
of  the  Baptist  pilgrim  in  Mooshasick,  at  the  head 
of  Narragansett  Bay,  where  the  piously-named  city 
of  Providence  now  stands.  The  Rev.  Charles  W. 
Upham,  of  Salem,  introduces  this  Ode  in  his 
"  Life  of  Roger  Williams ; "  but  the  authorship, 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  143 

I  believe,  lias  never  before  been  publicly  mentioned. 
It  was  set  to  music  for  the  "  patriotic  occasion  "  by 
Professor  Hansen,  a  Dane,  then  a  celebrated  teacher 
in  Providence,  and  performed,  under  his  direction, 
by  the  choir  of  the  First  Baptist  Church.  In  now 
acknowledging  the  parentage  of  this  offspring  of 
youthful  indiscretion,  I  may,  without  vanity,  quote 
the  words  of  Douglas  Jerrold  in  reclaiming  one  of 
his  stray  intellectual  children — "A  small  thing, 
but  mine  own."  In  walking  up  Westminster 
Street,  where  "Butler's  Arcade"  stands  almost 
alone  among  the  monuments  of  the  past,  the  face 
of  ex- Mayor  Knight  was  the  only  one  recognised, 
and  that  but  dimly  at  first,  among  the  fresh  tide 
of  life  flowing  up  and  down  that  well-worn  and 
fashionable  thoroughfare,  devoted  to  business  and 
promenade.  In  Green  Street,  where  stood  my 
little  "  Grecian  Temple,"  dedicated  by  Ralph  Waldo 
Emerson,  and  consecrated  and  graced  by  the  teach- 
ings of  Margaret  Fuller  and  Georgina  Nias,  and 
where  a  charming  nursery  of  the  beautiful  Spring 
buds  and  twigs  of  Providence,  of  both  sexes,  were 
carefully  and  tenderly  unfolded  and  "  bent,"  not 
a  vestige  remains  of  that  garden  of  innocence  and 
"  seminary  of  learning."  All  those  pretty  little 
girls,  not  dead,  are  mothers  now,  some  even  grand- 
mothers; while  the  lively  little  boys  are  trans- 
formed into  grave  bank  presidents,  eminent  lawyers, 


1 44  TRANSFORM  A  TION  SCENES 

rich  manufacturers,  distinguished  authors,  &c.,  &c., 
with  grey  whiskers  and  careworn  faces.  And  the 
fathers  and  mothers  of  this  new  generation,  where 
are  they?  One  short,  hard,  sad  word  tells  the 
story — dead.  Such  is  the  ever-flowing  tide  of 
human  life :  all  go  out  with  the  ebb,  and  none 
return  with  the  flood.  And  thus  the  world  keeps 
ever  young  and  fresh  and  new — 

"  Men  may  come  and  men  may  go, 
But  life  flows  on  for  ever." 

Among  the  finest  architectural  improvements  of 
Providence,  the  magnificent  building  opposite  the 
"Arcade,"  erected  by  W.  Butler  Duncan,  Esq., 
the  wealthy  New  York  banker,  who  is  indebted  to 
Providence  for  his  fortune,  stands  out  in  bold 
relief.  It  compares  favourably  with  the  splendid 
"  Drexel  Building"  in  New  York.  The  new 
Post-office  is  also  a  fine  edifice ;  but  there  is  an- 
other "going  up"  that  has  long  been  greatly 
needed — a  first-class  hotel.  The  foundations  are 
being  laid,  covering  a  large  area  in  TVeybosset 
Street,  adjoining  the  Opera  House.  It  will  cost 
half  a  million  of  dollars,  and  supply  a  real  want, 
the  city  having  long  since  outgrown  all  its  old 
hotels.  On  both  sides  of  the  beautiful  blue  Nar- 
ragansett  Bay,  new  villages,  cottages,  towns,  and 
watering-places  have  blossomed  all  the  way  from 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  145 

Providence  to  Newport.  The  trip  on  board  the 
steamer  is  a  most  delightful  one,  charming  to  the 
eye  and  exhilarating  to  the  lungs.  It  is  seldom 
that  a  traveller  finds  himself  too  soon  at  his  jour- 
ney's end ;  but  we  would  gladly  have  extended 
the  two  hours  between  the  two  Rhode  Island  Cap- 
itals of  Providence  and  Newport  to  ten.  The 
bright  blue  Bay,  reflecting  the  softer  blue  sky ; 
the  richly  variegated  shores,  waving  with  the 
growing  grain,  and  dotted  with  white  homes  where 
peace  and  plenty  seem  to  dwell,  make  up  one  of 
those  pleasant  panoramas  with  which  we  hate  to 
part,  as  from  a  charming  "  passing  acquaintance." 
Rhode  Island  is  one  of  the  least  of  all  the  States 
in  territory,  but  one  of  the  greatest  in  all  the  ele- 
ments essential  to  social  and  political  happiness. 
Free  from  debt,  free  from  pauperism,  rich  in  agri- 
culture and  manufactures,  with  a  salubrious  climate, 
a  school  system  unsurpassed,  Newport  for  a  summer 
resort,  the  Providence  Journal  for  a  daily  news- 
paper, and  its  clever  editor  to  represent  them  for 
life  in  the  United  States  Senate,  what  more  can 
a  rational  people  desire  !  And  this  is  Newport  of 
blessed  memory !  We  recognise  the  name  of  the 
town,  its  moist,  cool  atmosphere,  that  so  quickly  re- 
moves the  dry  varnish  from  the  skin,  and  puts  one 
to  sleep  like  an  anodyne ;  and  also  the  old  familiar 
faces  of  "  Weaver,"  the  excellent  host,  and  "  John," 

K 


146  TRANSFORMATION  SCENES 

the  venerable  waiter,  at  "  The  Ocean."  And  that's 
all.  How  the  trees  have  grown,  and  the  villas 
multiplied  during  these  fourteen  years  of  absence, 
while  other  lips  and  other  eyes  have  sung  the  praise, 
and  feasted  on  the  beauties  of  this  sweet  city  by 
the  sea  !  I  dare  not  indulge  in  reminiscences.  It 
was  here  that  "  Belle  Brittan  "  made  her  debut  in 
the  literary  world,  and  so  befogged  and  befooled 
the  critics  who  wrote  love  letters  by  the  bushel  to 
the  fair  incognita.  The  "  Ocean  House  "  is  not 
crowded,  the  cottages  take  the  cream  of  the  visitors. 
The  hotel  is  greatly  improved  in  many  particulars ; 
but  the  old  habituds  are  sadly  missed,  and  the  Band, 
three  times  a  day,  treats  us  to  the  most  melancholy 
music,  as  if  expressly  devoted  to  dirges  for  the 
Past.  If  the  people  now  here  feel  gay  they  certain- 
ly have  a  sad  way  of  showing  it.  "  It  is  all  owing 
to  the  panic,"  I  hear  on  every  hand ;  but  surely 
the  fearful  "  shrinkage  "  of  last  Autumn  has  not 
made  everybody  bankrupt.  It  is  estimated  that 
the  loss  on  stocks  in  New  York  within  the  past 
twelve  months  is  over  200,000,000  dollars,  and 
that  all  second  and  third  mortgages  in  real  estate 
in  that  city  are  "  wiped  out ;  "  but  most  of  these 
Newport  cottagers  must  be  rich,  nevertheless. 
And,  pray,  why  should  they  partake  of  the  gene- 
ral gloom  ?  There  seems  to  be  something  in  the 
universal  atmosphere  that  oppresses  all  classes  of 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES. 

society.  Whether  it  is  the  "  shrinkage  "  that  has 
bursted  thousands,  who  are  not  yet  fully  aware  of 
the  fact,  or  the  fall  of  Beecher,  which,  like  Samp- 
son among  the  Philistines,  is  bringing  down  the 
pillars  of  the  Christian  temple,  or  a  "  fearful 
looking  for  of  judgments  to  come,"  I  do  not  know  ; 
but  possibly  it  may  be  a  combination  of  all  these 
evil  influences,  together  with  the  comet,  that  is 
making  things,  as  Bill  Nye,  of  Heathen- Chinee 
fame,  in  reply  to  the  question,  "  How  goes  it, 
Truthful?  "  said,  "  It  is  far,  far  from  gay."  Al- 
together the  most  charming  villa  in  Newport,  con- 
sidering location,  stables,  billiard-rooms,  bowling 
alleys,  bathing-houses,  flower-gardens,  &c.,  belongs 
to  George  Francis  Train,  designed,  built,  and  fur- 
nished by  his  accomplished  wife  during  her  errant 
lord's  confinement  in  an  Irish  Bastille.  But  the 
eccentric  owner  of  this  charming,  costly  place  says 
he  prefers  his  Turkish  Bath  and  dolce  far  niente 
at  "  Miller's  Hotel,"  in  town,  to  keeping  a  livery 
stable  and  an  Irish  boarding-house  in  Newport, 
as  it  took  ten  horses  and  as  many  servants  to  run 
the  establishment.  li  There  is  no  accounting  for 
tastes."  Mrs  Train's  father,  Col.  G.  T.  M.  Davis, 
has  a  bijou  cottage  adjoining  his  daughter's.  The 
only  "  celebrity  "  I  have  seen  here  worth  noticing 
is  James  Gordon  Bennett,  of  the  New  York 
Herald,  who,  instead  of  splurging  with  a  swell 


148  TRANSFORMA  TION  SCENES 

four-in-hand,  drives  a  modest  one-horse  turn-out, 
but  English  perfect  in  all  its  appointments. 
When  I  reflect  on  what  this  young  journalist  has 
done  for  Livingstone,  for  the  poor  of  New  York, 
for  Arctic  explorations,  and,  again,  for  his  new 
African  Expedition,  and,  most  of  all,  the  higher 
tone  and  broader  enterprise  he  has  given  the  New 
York  Herald,  there  are  few  men  in  either  hemi- 
sphere who  command  higher  praise  or  a  more 
cosmopolitan  admiration. 


JN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  149 


THE   DRAMA. 

THE  American  drama,  if  such  a  thing  exists,  does 
not  appear  to  have  made  much  progress  during 
the  last  decade,  either  in  respect  to  plays  or  actors. 
Since  Forrest,  no  "  great  American  tragedian  "  has 
arisen  to  "  drown  the  stage  in  tears,"  and  to  fill 
the  world  with  the  fame  of  his  name.  As  for 
actors  and  actresses,  "  native  and  to  the  manor 
born,"  who  can  name  one  that  deserves  to  be  called 
11  great,"  or  who  has  won  a  cosmopolitan  reputa- 
tion ?  Jefferson  is  a  perfect  artist,  one  may  even 
say  genius,  in  his  peculiar  line,  and  that  line  is 
limited  to  almost  a  single  role.  But  Jefferson,  we 
believe,  was  born  in  England;  at  all  events  of 
English  parents.  Owen  is  a  capital  comedian,  but 
not  a  newly-risen  star.  He  may  in  truth  be 
called  a  veteran,  whose  glory  culminated  a  quarter 
of  a  century  ago ;  but  still  it  may  not  yet  be  said  of 
him,  "  superfluous  lags  the  veteran  on  the  stage." 
And  yet,  with  a  million  of  honestly-won  dollars 
for  his  fortune,  Owen  might  retire  with  grace  and 


I5O  TRANSFORMA  T1ON  SCENES 

comfort,  and  with  no  detriment  to  his  reputation. 
Matilda  Heron,  of  "  Camille  "  fame,  has  too  long 
been  "sick  to  doomsday  with  eclipse."  Domestic 
troubles  cruelly  crushed  the  lamp  of  life,  but  the 
fire  of  her  genius  kept  on  burning.  She  is  now 
reconstructing  at  Miller's  Turkish  Bath  Hotel,  and 
promises  soon  to  re-appear  in  all  her  original 
splendour.  With  the  single  exception  of  "  Meg 
Merrilees  "  Cushman,  America  has  never  produced 
so  great  a  theatrical  genius  as  Matilda  Heron. 
And  she,  like  "  Our  Charlotte,"  shone  pre-eminent 
only  in  a  single  role.  We  hence  conclude  that  life 
is  too  short  for  perfection  in  more  than  one  "  part," 
either  on  the  mimic  or  the  real  stage.  The  greatest 
theatrical  production  in  America  to-day  is  the  little 
"  Bijou  Heron,"  a  truly  legitimate  one,  the  child 
of  Matilda,  born  of  Love  and  Sorrow.  This  super- 
natural artiste  of  ten  years  has  made  a  furore  on 
the  stage,  and  fills  the  eyes  and  hearts  of  all  who 
behold  her  with  "  special  wonder."  Matilda,  in 
her  wild  way,  declares  the  child  has  no  father  but 
God,  and  she  certainly  seems  filled  with  the  divine 
afflatus.  This  little  baby-woman,  for  she  is  a  rare 
compound  of  grace  and  wisdom,  simplicity  and 
dignity,  innocence  and  intelligence,  has  been  my 
vis-d-vis  several  times  at  dinner,  and  her  beauty 
does  not,  like  Wordsworth's  "Lucy,"  "make  me 
glad,"  but  sad.  Truly, 


IN  THE  UNITED  STATES.  l$l 

"  A  lovely  apparition,  sent 
To  be  a  moment's  ornament." 

Bijou  Heron  would  make  a  great  sensation  in 
London.  She  is  altogether  the  most  remarkable 
phenomenon,  the  most  attractive  star,  in  America. 
The  heartless  husband  and  father,  in  abandoning 
his  wife  and  little  one  for  a  yellow-haired  ballet- 
girl,  like  the  base  Judean,  » 

"  Threw  a  pearl  away 
Richer  than  all  his  tribe." 

I  have  heard  much  of  Clara  Morris,  but  did  not 
see  her.  Her  photograph  indicates  tragic  fire. 
Lester  "Wallack  is  the  same  well-dressed,  self-con- 
scious, level  actor  as  of  old.  Successful  manage- 
ment, yachting,  trotting,  and  high-living  have  not 
intensified  his  personation  of  "  High  Art."  If  poets 
must  "  learn  in  suffering  what  they  teach  in  song," 
so  the  dramatic  artist  must  experience  the  emotions 
he  attempts  to  portray,  else  all  is  but  "  sounding 
brass  and  a  tinkling  cymbal."  On  Monday  even- 
ing last  there  was  a  notable  attempt  to  inaugurate 
a  genuine  American  drama,  although  the  play  was 
written  by  an  Englishman,  or  a  Frenchman,  for 
Boucicault's  origin,  like  that  of  all  great  geniuses, 
is  somewhat  mythical.  It  was  the  opening  night 
at  Booth's  Theatre,  and  "  Belle  Lamar,"  a  drama 
founded  on  incidents  of  the  late  Civil  War,  was 


152  TRANSFORMA  T1ON  SCENES 

the  title  of  the  piece.  There  was  an  overflowing 
house ;  every  inch  of  standing  room  being  occupied, 
with  the  thermometer  somewhere  in  the  nineties. 
For  several  days  the  newspapers  had  piqued  public 
curiosity  with  the  rare  dramatic  sensation  prepared 
for  them  by  the  greatest  of  living  dramatists.  So 
far  as  the  crowd,  the  applause,  and  the  next  day's 
criticisms  go,  the  play  was  a  great  success.  It 
was  admirably  mounted,  and  the  leading  parts 
were  well  acted ;  but  I  shall  venture  to  call  it  a 
failure  nevertheless.  The  events  reproduced  in 
the  play  have  not  yet  ripened  into  history,  and  it 
was  positively  painful  to  see  the  heroic  Stonewall 
Jackson,  whose  "  body  is  still  green  in  earth," 
caricatured  by  a  stick  of  an  actor.  "  Belle  Lamar," 
whose  sad  career  is  not  unlike  that  of  poor  Belle 
Boyd,  will  be  more  acceptable  as  a  play  half  a 
century  hence,  when  the  late  unpleasantness  be- 
tween the  North  and  the  South  has  melted  away  in 
the  calm,  dim  haze  of  history.  On  board  the 
Britannic,  "  bound  for  Liverpool,"  we  had,  among 
many  other  pleasant  passengers,  Mr  Sothern  and 
his  two  sons,  en  route  for  Edinburgh.  Mr  Sothern 
is  altogether  the  most  remarkable  and  the  most 
successful  actor  of  this  or  any  other  age.  Since 
I  had  the  pleasure  of  "  assisting"  at  his  first  per- 
formance of  "  Lord  Dundreary,"  at  Laura  Keene's 
theatre  in  New  York,  some  sixteen  years  ago,  he 


IN  THE  UNITED  S  TA  TES.  153 

has  played  this  part  over  four  thousand  times,  for 
\vhich  alone  he  has  received  about  one  million  and 
a  quarter  of  dollars.  In  all  the  history  of  the 
drama  there  is  no  record  of  a  success  like  this. 
On  the  10th  of  October,  after  an  absence  of  nearly 
three  years,  Mr  Sothern  will  re-appear  at  the  Hay- 
market  as  "  Lord  Dundreary"  in  "  Our  American 
Cousin,"  but  with  scarcely  a  single  line  of  the 
original  part.  Mr  Sothern  will  be  supported  by  a 
charming  Australian,  Minnie  Walton,  new  to  the 
metropolitan  stage.  A  few  words  touching  my 
return  voyage  will  close  these  locomotive  observa- 
tions, although  matters  of  a  more  didactic  nature 
may  follow.  The  new  White  Star  steamer  Britan- 
nic is  a  splendid  vessel ;  but  if  I  were  going  to 
cross  to-morrow,  and  the  Baltic  and  Britannic  were 
to  start  at  the  same  hour  I  should  take  the  former. 
It  is  true  the  newer  ship  has  some  important  im- 
provements, as  every  newest  ship  ought  to  have. 
The  Britannic  has  an  electric  bell  attached  to  every 
berth,  and  revolving  chairs  at  the  dining  tables, 
with  several  other  little  conveniences  which  her 
elder  sister  has  not.  It  also  has  a  pleasant,  gentle- 
voiced  Bell  for  stewardess,  pronounced  a  jewel  by 
the  ladies ;  and  yet,  and  yet — well,  we  prefer  the 
Baltic.  The  sea  was  smooth,  the  skies  were  clear, 
the  passengers  were  jolly,  and  we  reached  our  old 
home  at  the  Langham  Hotel  on  the  evening  of  the 


1 5  4  TRANSFORM  A  TION  SCENES 

tenth  day.  Among  the  hundred  first-class  passen- 
gers there  were  half-a-dozen  bridal  couples,  some 
of  them  tied  for  life,  or  until  death  or  divorce  parts 
them,  on  the  very  morning  of  our  departure.  The 
billing  and  cooing  of  these  love-sick  couples  made 
several  passengers  s^-sick.  One  pair  in  particu- 
lar were  so  desperately  loving  as  to  feed  each  other, 
on  deck,  with  the  same  spoon,  a  honeymoon  habit, 
which,  we  suppose,  must  have  been  the  origin  of 
"  spooning."  Another  couple  incurred  the  indig- 
nation of  all  on  board  by  utterly  neglecting  a 
charming  little  four-year  old  boy,  who  was  left  to 
run  all  over  the  ship,  and  whom  we  named  "  Charley 
Ross,"  thinking  he  might  be  the  stolen  child  of 
Philadelphia.  The  father  of  this  darling  little  boy, 
who  became  everybody's  pet,  and  my  own  favourite 
companion,  married  a  second  wife  just  before  leav- 
ing New  York,  and  the  newly-spliced  pair  were  so 
deeply  involved  in  their  new  happiness,  so  closely 
locked  in  each  other's  arms,  that  this  poor 
little  son,  and  stepson,  was  left  entirely  to  the 
care  of  the  passengers  and  stewards.  "  Oh,  that 
this  dear  little  boy's  mother  could  see  how  her 
child  is  neglected,"  said  a  kind-hearted  Ohio  lady. 
"  Thank  Heaven  she  cannot,"  was  my  reply.  On 
arriving  at  the  Bar  in  the  Mersey,  when  the  pas- 
sengers were  scrambling  on  board  the  "  Tug,"  I 
took  the  little  fellow  along  with  me,  and  his  "  nat- 


IN  THE  UNITED  STA  TES.  1 5  5 

ural  protectors  "  did  not  seem  to  discover  him  until 
he  was  landed  with  the  luggage  at  the  Company's 
wharf  in  Liverpool.  Why  did  they  not  ticket  him 
through  and  send  him  below?  I  cannot  quit  the 
good  ship  without  a  good  word  for  the  officers  and 
servants,  who  spare  no  efforts  to  promote  the  com- 
fort and  entertainment  of  passengers.  Other  pens 
will  praise  the  table,  and  with  good  reason.  Let 
me  thank  the  Company  for  the  well-selected  library. 
It  only  lacks  the  ten  bound  volumes  of  the  Cosmo- 
politan, which  I  propose  to  present  to  them.  With 
no  disrespect  to  my  fellow-passengers,  among  whom 
were  some  very  charming  and  intelligent  persons, 
I  found  the  society  of  Hood,  Jerrold,  Thackeray, 
and  Dickens  still  more  agreeable ;  and  when  these 
classics  were  all  read,  and  re-read,  I  found  a  very 
pleasant  companion  in  "  The  Anecdotes  of  Public 
Men,"  by  my  old  friend  and  confrere  Col.  J.  W. 
Forney,  whose  reminiscences  of  the  past  twenty- 
five  years  are  exceedingly  pleasant  reading.  Col. 
Forney  has  for  thirty  years  been  one  of  the  lead- 
ing journalists  and  politicians  of  America,  besides 
having  occupied  for  eight  years  the  important  post 
of  Secretary  of  the  Senate  at  Washington.  Few 
writers  have  had  so  large  and  familiar  an  acquain- 
tance with  the  leading  public  men  of  the  United 
States  as  the  editor  of  the  Philadelphia  Press. 
Col.  Forney  is  now  in  Europe,  for  the  purpose  of 


156  TRANSFORMA I  ION  SCENES. 

waking  up  the  Powers  and  the  People  to  the  grand 
event  of  the  century,  the  "  Centennial  of  1876." 
We  venture  to  predict  that  he  will  be  the  next 
United  States  Senator  from  Pennsylvania.  Forney's 
volume  of  "  Anecdotes "  is  worthy  of  a  place  in 
European  libraries.  It  is  already  in  the  Cosmo- 
politan's. 


COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 


ENGLAND  AND    THE    UNITED 
STATES. 

11  WHICH  country  do  you  prefer  to  live  in,  Eng- 
land or  America?"  This  was  the  first  and  last 
question  asked  by  all  classes  of  people  during  our 
recent  visit  to  the  United  States,  After  thirteen 
years  abroad,  more  than  two-thirds  of  the  time 
spent  in  London,  it  was  naturally  supposed  that  a 
comparative  answer  would  be  easy  to  give.  On 
the  contrary,  it  is  a  difficult  question  to  decide, 
and  still  more  difficult  to  give  satisfactory  reasons 
for  the  decision.  The  man  who  has  emigrated  to 
California  or  Utah,  and  made  a  "  big  pile,"  comes 
back  with  glowing  descriptions  of  the  beauty,  the 
salubrity,  and  the  richness  of  the  country ;  while 
the  unfortunate  adventurer  who,  having  toiled  and 
"  prospected"  in  vain  for  years,  returns  in  poverty 


158  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

and  sickness  to  the  home  of  his  childhood  to  die, 
gives  a  very  different  picture  of  "  life  out  "West." 
The  place  we  like  the  best  is  that  in  which  we  have 
been  the  happiest — that  is,  the  most  successful  in 
receiving  all  those  "  good  things  of  this  world," 
which  constitute  the  sum  total  of  the  "  blessings 
of  life."  Exceptional  Americans,  who,  like  Pea- 
body,  Sturgis,  Morgan,  and  a  few  others,  have 
easily  and  rapidly  acquired  large  fortunes  in 
England,  are,  naturally  enough,  in  love  with  the 
land  of  their  adoption  ;  while  ninety-nine  out  of 
every  hundred  Americans,  fighting  for  a  living  on 
this  side  of  the  Atlantic,  remain  abroad  by  stress 
of  necessity.  From  neither  of  these  "  types  "  of 
the  Anglo-American  should  we  look  for  a  just 
comparison  of  the  intrinsic  merits  of  the  two  coun- 
tries. The  successful  American  sees  everything 
couleur  de  rose  ;  the  unsuccessful,  tout  au  contraire. 
And  so  with  Englishmen.  John  Bull  praises  and 
curses  America  according  to  the  results  of  his 
investments.  Capitalists  who  have  lost  money  by 
American  railway  and  mining  companies,  and  by 
defaulting  States,  are  loud  and  liberal  in  their 
denunciations  of  the  American  Republic  and 
American  "  honour."  On  the  other  hand,  we  now 
and  then  come  across  some  lucky  Englishman  who 
has  doubled  his  income  by  American  "  specula- 
tions," and  who  is  profuse  in  his  laudations  of  the 


ENGLAND  AND  THE  UNITED  STATES.          159 

people,  the  country,  and  the  institutions  on  the 
other  side  of  the  Atlantic.  When  the  opinions,  the 
judgments,  and  the  feelings  of  men  are  governed 
by  the  mere  caprice  of  fortune,  they  are  hardly 
worth  quoting.  That  reverend  and  sarcastic  wag, 
Sidney  Smith,  having  dabbled  in  Pennsylvania 
stocks,  which  did  not  pay  so  well  as  he  hoped, 
could  never  do  justice  to  the  citizens  of  that  State, 
or  to  any  other  State  of  the  Union.  The  victims 
of  Erlanger's  Confederate  Loan  have  to-day  a  very 
bad  opinion  of  the  Confederate  cause.  There  is  an 
American  lady  now  in  London,  a  very  rich  widow, 
and  a  Roman  Catholic,  courted  and  feted  by  all 
the  Romanist  nobility  of  the  United  Kingdom, 
who  thinks  the  English  people  are  the  best,  the 
noblest,  and  the  most  hospitable  in  the  world. 
Naturellement.  But,  as  we  have  said,  exceptional 
opinions,  based  on  adventitious  circumstances,  are 
of  little  value.  And  it  is  the  same  with  persons 
as  with  places.  X  ...  is  lovely  to  me  and  hate- 
ful to  you — and  vice  versa.  The  journalist,  the 
publicist,  the  critic,  and  the  historian  should  have 
no  prejudices.  It  is  very  natural  to  speak  well  of 
the  bridges  that  carry  us  safely  over,  and  ill  of 
those  that  bring  us  to  grief.  And  yet  one  may  do 
justice  to  the  bridge  without  either  praise  or  cen- 
sure. It  was  no  fault  of  the  steamer  Atlantic 
that  she  was  wrecked  on  the  rocks  of  Nova  Scotia. 


I6O  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

Travellers,  who  write  books,  are  very  silly  to  allow 
dirty  inns  and  indigestible  food  to  colour  their 
opinions  of  the  countries  they  visit.  But  such  is 
the  universal  fallibility  of  man.  Many  a  play  has 
been  "  damned  "  by  critics  who  have  been  seated 
uncomfortably  in  a  theatre.  An  engineer,  recently 
sent  out  to  New  York  to  survey  a  Railway  property, 
took  a  letter  of  introduction,  in  a  sealed  envelope, 
to  a  certain  Wall  Street  magnate,  containing  these 
words  : — "  The  Report  must  be  good,  or  there'll 
be  a  murder."  The  engineer  was  received  and 
feted  comme  un  prince,  and  the  Report  mill  be 
good.  To  return  to  the  question  of  the  comparative 
merits  and  attractions  of  England  and  America  as 
countries  to  live  in.  We  profess  to  have  become 
completely  denationalised,  to  belong  to  no  country, 
no  party,  no  sect ;  only  to  the  planet  we  live  in, 
and  to  humanity.  One  must  outgrow  all  these 
limitations  in  order  to  be  thoroughly  cosmopolitan. 
Therefore  we  do  not  judge  of  places  or  peoples  by 
the  mode  of  treatment  we  receive.  A  man  may 
possibly  fall  sick  in  the  healthiest  country,  and, 
through  misunderstanding,  receive  ill-treatment  at 
the  hands  of  the  best  of  people.  To  give  a  just 
and  intelligent  estimate  of  different  nations  many 
things  must  be  taken  into  consideration.  In  the 
first  place,  the  climate  and  the  physical  qualities 
and  conditions  of  the  country  are  of  the  most  vital 


ENGLAND  AND    THE    UNITED  STATES.        l6l 

importance.  Then  come  the  laws,  the  government, 
the  institutions,  which  constitute  the  political  con- 
ditions of  a  people.  So  far  as  personal  freedom 
and  civil  liberty  are  concerned,  there  is  little  to 
choose  between  the  Monarchy  of  England  and  the 
Republic  of  America.  Liberty,  protected  by  law, 
is  the  great  problem  of  both  countries,  and  in  both 
there  is  no  lack  of  law  or  of  freedom  for  the 
general  happiness  and  welfare.  Neither  in  London 
nor  New  York  does  an  honest  man  find  his  personal 
freedom  impinged  by  the  force  of  statute  law, 
although  the  "  law  of  the  land  "  is  as  omnipresent 
as  the  air.  Put  your  foot  in  it,  and  it  trips  you 
up  ;  violate  it,  and  you  are  in  chains  and  slavery. 
The  common  laws  of  the  two  countries  are  mainly 
the  same.  America  derived  her  laws  from  Eng- 
land ;  England  from  Judea ;  and  Judea  from 
the  first  principles  of  human  nature,  the  funda- 
mental laws  of  property  and  self-preservation, 
including  matrimony,  which  is  but  a  refined  ver- 
sion of  property  law,  although  conferring  superior 
rights  on  the  stronger  party.  This,  of  course, 
is  owing  to  the  fact  that  the  stronger  party 
established  the  code ;  and  this  is  the  special 
grievance  of  "women's  rights"  women.  The 
jurisprudence  of  England  and  the  United  States 
being  almost  identical,  we  come  to  the  autonomy 
of  the  older  and  the  younger  nations.  One  is  a 


1 62  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

Monarchy,  the  other  a  Republic,  both  essentially 
democratic,  and  both  having  peculiar  merits  and 
defects  to  balance  against  each  other.  "  Give  us 
an  angel  from  heaven  and  despotism,"  said  Tom 
Hood.  England,  in  the  person  of  her  good  Queen 
Victoria,  has  an  approach  to  the  "  angel,"  but 
lacks  the  benevolent  despotism  to  inaugurate  the 
angelic  era.  By  granting  a  liberal  though  a  con- 
ditional franchise  to  the  masses,  the  Government  of 
England  is  essentially  a  popular  Government ;  that 
is,  a  government  by  the  people — in  theory  at  least. 
Hereditary  sovereignty  is  one  of  the  best  features 
of  the  British  Constitution,  while  the  hereditary 
Senate  is  its  very  worst.  The  chances  are  that  a 
"  Ruler,"  born  and  educated  to  the  Throne,  will  be 
a  far  more  graceful  and  respectable  figure-head  for 
the  nation  than  one  elected  every  four  years  by  the 
capricious  choice  of  universal  suffrage,  including 
niggers,  chimpanzees,  and  ignorant "  white  trash." 
But  a  born  Senate,  like  the  British  House  of 
Lords,  is  an  abomination,  an  insult  to  the  common 
sense  of  civilisation.  In  the  United  States,  the 
frequently  recurring  re-election  of  President  is  the 
greatest  of  all  political  evils.  Better  elect  for  ten 
years,  or,  indeed,  for  life,  and  prohibit  re-election 
by  an  amendment  of  the  Constitution.  Unpaid 
legislation,  as  in  England,  might  also  be  adopted 
in  America  with  salutary  results.  Law-makers 


ENGLAND  AND    THE    UNITED  STATES.        163 

should  be  men  of  economy,  of  thrift,  and  of 
pecuniary  independence.  Solons  of  the  lapstone 
or  goose,  who  "  run  for  Congress  "  for  the  loaves 
and  fishes,  had  better  "  stick  to  their  lasts,"  and 
allow  men  of  education  and  of  wealth,  who  have 
an  interest  in  the  State,  to  serve  as  "  lawgivers  " 
pro  bono  publico.  Weighing  the  two  political 
Constitutions  of  the  old  Monarchy  and  the  young 
Republic  in  the  impartial  scales  of  justice,  we  leave 
to  each  individual  reader  to  declare  his  own  pre- 
ference. One  of  the  greatest  attractions  in  the 
United  States  to  free-minded,  liberty-loving  men  is 
the  absolute  freedom  the  people  enjoy  in  regard  to 
"  matters  of  conscience  "  or  religion.  There  is 
not  only  no  Established  Church  in  America,  but 
the  Federal  Constitution  recognises  no  God.  As 
no  two  minds  have  the  same  idea  of  God,  this 
non- recognition  of  any  particular  God- Phantom 
leaves  the  intellect  of  the  nation  gloriously  free 
from  crippling  creeds  and  theological  dogmas.  At 
the  same  time  it  does  not  make  the  people 
ostensibly  irreligious.  While  they  do  not  bow  to 
the  aristocratic  God  of  England,  to  the  more 
amiable  Deity  of  France,  or  to  the  semi-savage 
Jehovah  of  the  Jews,  they  quite  as  generally, 
and  perhaps  as  devotedly,  worship  the  "  unseen  and 
eternal  Spirit "  as  any  other  people  on  earth. 
Indeed,  such  is  the  fanaticism  of  the  popular  faith, 


164  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

that  they  boast  of  having  invested  seven  hundred 
millions  of  dollars  in  churches  and  religious  insti- 
tutions of  all  denominations,  sects,  and  creeds — 
including  the  sterile  "  Shakers  "  and  the  prolific 
"  Mormons  " — that  priestcraft  has  ever  invented 
for  the  subjugation  and  slavery  of  the  people. 
This  magnificent  investment,  mostly  "  in  Houses 
of  God  "  and  "  parsonages,"  is  almost  equal  to  the 
amount  spent  by  American  ladies  during  the  last 
five  years  in  silks  and  diamonds.  What  a  blessed 
number  of  bath-houses,  soup-houses,  and  school- 
houses  these  millions  would  have  established ! 
But  then  the  great  army  of  priests  would  have 
been  as  ill-fed,  as  poorly-clothed,  and  as  utterly 
houseless  as  Christ  Himself.  And,  pray,  what 
were  the  people  made  for  but  to  support  priests, 
soldiers,  and  the  "  liberal  professions  !  "  The 
comparative  intelligence,  refinement,  and  morality 
of  the  two  countries  is  rather  a  delicate  subject  of 
discussion.  We  purpose  to  skip  it  with  the  safe 
remark,  often  repeated  in  these  columns,  that 
London  contains  the  best  and  the  worst  of  every- 
thing to  be  found  in  any  city  on  the  globe.  This 
applies  to  men,  women,  and  things,  including 
horses,  asses,  flowers,  fruit,  and  vegetables. 
America  has  more  land,  brighter  skies,  and  a 
broader  "  area  of  freedom,"  but  no  more  freedom, 
except  on  the  Church  question,  than  England. 


ENGLAND  AND    THE    UNITED  STATES.        165 

It  is  altogether  au  error  to  say  that  in  the  old 
country  society  has  been  forming,  progressing,  and 
refining  for  a  thousand  years,  while  in  the  new 
country  everything  is  young,  crude,  and  unsettled. 
America  is  simply  an  extension  of  England.  All 
the  elements  of  English  social  and  political  life 
were  carried  to  New  England  in  the  Mayflower, 
and  that,  too,  by  the  very  flower  of  English 
civilisation.  The  "  Pilgrim  Fathers  "  were  the 
best-educated  men  of  the  epoch,  most  of  whom, 
forty-one  adults,  kept  their  diaries  in  Latin,  as 
the  records  of  the  "  Old  Colony  Society  "  in  Ply- 
mouth bear  evidence.  Nor  can  we  forget  the 
highly-educated  followers  of  Penn,  the  founder 
of  the  State  that  bears  his  name,  the  noble  Cal- 
vert  of  Maryland,  Fairfax  of  Virginia,  or  the 
accomplished  Cavaliers  of  Carolina  and  Georgia. 
In  many  respects  New  England  sloughed  off  the 
hide-bound  creeds  and  impediments  of  Old  Eng- 
land, and  the  brave  citizens  of  the  wilderness  rose 
to  a  newer,  purer,  and  freer  civilisation.  The 
grand  idea  of  a  Church  without  a  bishop  and  a 
State  without  a  king,  gave  a  new  dignity  to  man- 
hood, and  a  new  inspiration  to  ambition.  Then 
came  the  long  struggle  for  independence,  which 
made  every  man  a  patriot  and  every  soldier  a 
hero.  The  "  days  that  tried  men's  souls  "  left 
the  young  Republic  a  pure  and  simple  people. 


1 66  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

Although  sadly  degenerated  by  time,  prosperity, 
and  the  "  admixture  of  all  nations,"  yet  America 
still  retains  a  full  average  of  national  energy 
and  honour;  and  so  far  as  mere  material  wealth 
is  concerned,  the  United  States  is,  beyond  all 
question,  the  richest  nation  in  the  world.  With 
a  population  of  40,000,000,  and  more  rapidly 
increasing  than  any  other  country,  with  every 
variety  of  climate,  soil,  and  production,  it  passes 
the  imagination  of  man  to  limit  its  future  wealth 
and  power.  Therefore,  to  the  young  and  enter- 
prising, of  both  sexes  and  of  all  classes,  who 
would  woo  the  angel  of  prosperity  in  the  Future, 
we  say  there  is  no  "  land  of  promise  "  like  the 
land  beyond  the  sea — -the  land  of  the  free  and 
boundless  West,  where  there  is  bread,  and  work, 
and  wealth  for  all — 

"  And  the  sun  shines  always  there." 

As  for  hospitality  as  a  national  characteristic, 
Canon  Kingsley  will  endorse  the  assertion  that  the 
Americans  treat  their  visitors  better,  and  oftener, 
than  any  other  people. 


IF  IT   PLEASES   THEM.  l6/ 


IF  IT  PLEASES   THEM. 

A  GREAT  many  English  persons  and  papers  are 
very  much  exercised  by  the  Pilgrimage  to  Pontigny, 
in  France.  Some  five  hundred  Roman  Catholic 
subjects  of  Her  Most  Protestant  Majesty  Queen 
Victoria,  including  such  aristocratic  names  as 
Lord  Edmund  Howard,  Lord  Gainsborough,  Lord 
Archibald  Douglas,  the  Hon.  Mrs  Douglas,  the 
Hon.  Miss  .Petrie,  Mr  Petrie,  Miss  Hope  John- 
stone,  &c.,  under  the  lead  of  Archbishop  Manning, 
have  been  doing  the  penance  of  sea-sickness,  and 
visiting  the  tomb  of  St  Edmund,  who  was  Arch- 
bishop of  Canterbury  in  the  thirteenth  century. 
This  ancient  priest  was  canonised  by  the  Pope, 
and  is  therefore  called  a  "  Saint."  It  is  repre- 
sented to  the  ignorant  and  superstitious  that  St 
Edmund's  holy  corpse  has  not  decayed,  but  is 
miraculously  preserved,  and  they  profess  to  be- 
lieve it !  Can  such  intelligent  men  as  Manning, 
Howard,  and  Douglas  pretend  to  believe  in  such 
monstrous  nonsense  ?  The  Cosmopolitan,  with 


1 68  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

the  profoundest  reverence  for  Nature  and  Truth, 
but  with  no  respect  for  priestcraft,  will  bet  all 
Lombard  Street  to  a  picayune  that  the  remains 
of  St  Edmund,  like  those  of  any  other  mortal 
organism  six  hundred  years  dead,  are  undistin- 
guishable  dust.  The  laws  of  Nature  are  never 
suspended  or  abrogated  even  for  the  "  benefit  of 
the  clergy."  The  only  real  objection  to  these 
"  Pilgrimages  "  on  "  boiled  peas  "  is,  that  they 
promulgate  falsehood  in  order  to  prop  a  rotten 
system  of  religion.  The  priests,  knowingly  and 
wickedly,  tell  the  people  lies.  But  this  has  been 
their  role  from  the  beginning,  and  will  continue 
to  be,  perhaps,  for  another  century  or  two  to  come. 
As  for  the  saintship  of  Archbishop  Edmund,  who 
claims  merit  for  having  worn  a  horse-hair  shirt, 
perhaps  over  a  silk  one,  are  there  not  men  living 
to-day  lives  as  holy  as  he  ?  We  know  a  man  who 
has  never  defiled  his  body  with  wine,  tobacco,  or 
alcohol,  and  who  lives  purely,  on  cereals,  veget- 
ables, and  fruits ;  a  man  who  has  never  shed 
blood,  nor  wronged  or  ruined  a  woman,  nor  told 
a  lie.  Why  not  make  pious  pilgrimages  to  the 
home  of  this  living  Saint,  worth  a  thousand  dead 
ones,  and  touch  the  hem  of  his  garment  in  pious 
homage  to  his  chastity  and  "  holiness  ?  "  Must  a 
man  lie  in  the  earth  six  hundred  years  before  his 
virtues  are  recognised  and  honoured?  But  let 


IF  IT  PLEASES    THEM.  l(X) 

these  Pilgrims  go  to  France,  if  it  pleases  them, 
and  draw  inspiration  from  the  dead  dust  of  a  half- 
mythical  priest,  instead  of  sitting  at  the  feet  of 
living  teachers,  whose  words  of  wisdom  and  truth 
are  so  hard  to  hear  and  obey.  It  benefits  the 
Railway  Companies,  and  brings  grist  to  Cooke's 
Excursion  Mill.  Besides,  a  little  sea-sickness 
does  no  harm  to  over-loaded  stomachs,  and  pious 
people  are  even  more  pious  when  less  bilious. 
And  may  not  these  five  hundred  devout  pilgrims 
to  the  shrine  of  holy  dust  in  unholy  France,  return 
to  their  homes  enveloped  with  an  "  odour  of 
sanctity  "  that  will  sweeten,  enrich,  and  sanctify 
the  murky  and  ungodly  atmosphere  of  all  Eng- 
land? So  may  it  be. 


I/O  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 


THE  POLICY  OF  INSURANCE. 

IT  is  beginning  to  be  a  serious  question  with 
philosophical  economists  whether  the  inestimable 
sums  of  money  invested  in  Life,  Fire,  and  Marine 
Insurance,  also  in  Savings  Banks,  might  not  be 
better  employed.  We  should  like  to  have  some 
clever  hand  at  figures,  some  expert  actuary,  to 
give  us  the  sum  total,  not  only  of  the  amount  of 
capital  held  by  these  Companies  in  the  United 
Kingdom  and  the  United  States,  but  also  the 
annual  amounts  paid  for  conducting  them,  under 
the  head  of  rents,  salaries,  and  commissions. 
Nothing  impressed  us  more  during  a  recent  visit 
to  the  cities  of  New  York,  Boston,  and  Providence, 
than  the  multitudinous  "  palaces  "  dedicated  to 
Banking,  Eailway,  and  Insurance  business,  and 
more  especially  to  the  latter.  The  lower  part  of 
Broadway  is  little  else  than  a  double  row  of 
Insurance  buildings,  each  containing  numerous 
offices,  each  office  filled  with  a  large  staff  of 
clerks.  And  all  these  Companies  pay  their 


THE  POLICY  OF  INSURANCE.  I/I 

presidents,  directors,  managers,  and  book-keepers 
enormous  salaries.  We  hear  of  hundreds  of  these 
officials  who  receive  from  5000  dollars  to  20,000 
dollars  a  year.  Where  does  all  the  money  come 
from  to  support  these  costly  and  magnificent 
establishments?  Out  of  the  insured,  of  course. 
The  question  arises — Would  it  not  be  better  for 
the  commonwealth  if  every  man  was  his  own 
insurer  and  his  own  savings  bank?  We  are  not 
yet  prepared  to  answer  this  question  of  vital 
interest,  and  it  would  take  volumes  to  exhaust  the 
arguments  pro  and  con.  We  can  only  hint  at 
one  or  two.  Insurance  offers  a  premium  to  crime 
and  dishonesty.  Mr  Plimsoll  has  demonstrated 
beyond  all  doubt  the  damning  fact  that  thousands 
of  unseaworthy  ships,  over-insured,  are  sent  to 
sea  for  the  purpose  of  being  lost,  as  a  pecuniary 
speculation,  while  Fire  Insurance  records  abun- 
dantly show  that  about  one-half  the  fires  on 
insured  property  are  the  result  of  deliberate  and 
diabolic  incendiarism.  Worse  than  this,  many 
murders  have  been  committed  both  by  men  and 
women,  and  that,  too,  by  near  relatives,  inspired 
by  the  hellish  thirst  of  gold  to  be  obtained  on 
Life  Insurance  policies.  "  Where  will  you  go 
when  I  am  dead  ?  "  said  an  anxious  dying  husband 
to  the  wife  of  his  bosom.  "  Go  !  why  to  the  Life 
Insurance  Office,  of  course !  "  was  the  cool  reply. 


1/2  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

A  man  who  has  pinched  and  saved  to  pay  his 
premium  on  a  £1000  policy  for  fifty  years,  cer- 
tainly deserves  credit  for  providing  for  his  heirs, 
although  they  may  neither  need  the  money  nor 
thank  him  for  his  loving  providence.  But  suppose 
a  sudden  blow  of  adversity  compels  him  to  omit  the 
fiftieth  payment,  and  his  policy  lapses.  His  heirs 
get  nothing,  and  all  his  life-long  savings  have 
gone  to  pay  Insurance  salaries  and  to  enrich 
Insurance  shareholders.  It  is  this  consideration 
that  is  turning  the  attention  of  thinking  men  to 
the  general  subject  of  Insurance  economy.  In 
the  case  we  have  just  supposed,  a  cautious, 
prudent,  thrifty  man  might  have  made  out  of  the 
money  invested  in  his  policy  ten  times  the  amount 
insured.  Again,  he  might  have  speculated  un- 
fortunately and  lost  it  all.  There  is  much  to  be 
said  on  both  sides  of  this  great  question,  and  we 
invite  a  full  discussion  of  the  subject  in  the 
columns  of  The  Cosmopolitan.  Meantime  the 
public  cannot  be  too  cautious  of  the  character  of 
the  Companies  to  which  they  trust  their  sacred 
savings  for  post-mortem  purposes.  Rotten  Insur- 
ance Companies  and  bogus  Savings  Banks  exist  in 
all  countries,  and  the  managers  of  these  frauds 
are  criminals  of  the  blackest  dve. 


AMERICAN  PRESS  SCANDALS.  173 


AMERICAN  PRESS  SCANDALS. 

TRULY  we  have  fallen  upon  an  age  of  Iconoclasm. 
"  Rien  n'est  sacre  pour  un  sapeur,"  and  the 
"  sapeurs  "  of  the  Church  are  everywhere  at  work. 
And  not  only  is  the  Church  being  insidiously 
undermined,  but  reverence  for  the  State,  for  the 
"  divinity  that  doth  hedge  a  King  "  no  longer 
exists.  Even  the  good  and  gracious  Queen  Vic- 
toria, the  model  Mother  of  England,  does  not  escape 
the  slings  and  arrows  of  outrageous  criticism.  We 
have  before  us  a  copy  of  the  New  York  Times, 
containing  a  letter  from  its  London  correspondent, 
giving  an  account  of  the  Royal  Servants'  Ball  at 
Balmoral,  where  Her  Majesty  is  depicted,  not  only 
as  romping  in  a  dance  with  her  grandchildren — 
all  very  proper — but  as  rollicking  in  a  reel  with 
John  Brown,  "  her  favourite  gillie,"  which  is 
positively  shocking  !  The  correspondent  adds,  that 
this  unseemly  exhibition  of  Her  Majesty  is  making 
a  great  talk  in  London.  The  Times  is  owned  by 
a  company — that  is,  by  a  corporation,  with  "  no 


174  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

soul " — and  edited  by  an  imported  anti-American 
Englishman.  This  is  a  standing  marvel  to  the 
American  people,  as  the  Times  assumes  to  be  the 
leader  of  the  Republican  party,  and  the  "  organ  " 
of  the  Grant  Administration.  Our  English  readers 
may  get  a  tolerably  just  idea  of  the  awkwardness 
of  the  situation  by  "  supposing  "  the  Standard, 
the  organ  of  the  Disraeli  Administration,  to  be 
edited  by  a  freshly-imported  Yankee.  One  of 
the  main  objects  of  the  Times  seems  to  be  to 
convince  the  public  that  the  Tribune  is  falling  off 
in  circulation.  The  editor  is  continually  proposing 
to  bet  that  he  knows  more  about  his  neighbours' 
business  than  they  themselves  know.  This  may 
be  deemed  "  honourable  competition "  by  the 
Times  concern,  but  it  is  decidedly  ww-English. 
Whether  the  Tribune  prints  less  or  more  copies 
since  the  loss  of  Greeley,  its  immortal  founder, 
it  has  certainly  greatly  improved  in  character  by 
its  noble  emancipation  from  the  Procrustean  bonds 
and  bandages  of  partisanship.  Like  the  Herald — 
the  greatest  news-paper  in  the  world — the  course 
of  the  Tribune  is  now  as  free  and  refreshing  as 
the  river  that  "  windeth  at  its  own  sweet  will." 
And  no  paper  that  is  not  free  is  worth  buying  or 
reading.  Party  newspapers  are  filled  with  personal 
puffs  and  political  tirades,  unjust  to  their  objects 
and  insulting  to  the  intelligence  of  the  reader. 


AMERICAN  PRESS  SCANDALS.  175 

Praise  and  abuse  of  public  men,  by  a  partisan 
press,  is  simply  a  question  of  politics.  And  the 
sectarian  criticisms  of  the  so-called  "  Religious 
Press,"  are  equally  indiscriminate  and  unjust. 
11  Orthodoxy  is  my  doxy,  and  your  doxy  is 
heterodoxy,"  sums  up  the  whole  philosophy  of 
sectarian  intolerance,  which  forces  upon  us  the 
sad  conclusion  that  Christianity,  instead  of  uniting 
the  great  Family  of  Man,  divides  it  into  hundreds 
of  hostile  camps  and  fierce  antagonisms.  The 
only  remedy  for  these  universal  and  obstructive 
differences  is  the  harmonising  influence  and  all- 
embracing  philosophy  of  cosmopolitanism.  As  a 
sample  of  the  more  generous  sentiments  of  the 
American  press,  we  find  the  following  tribute  to 
the  "  Powers  that  be,"  in  a  leading  article  of  the 
New  York  Herald: — "Queen  Victoria  yesterday 
commenced  the  thirty-seventh  year  of  her  reign. 
The  day  was  celebrated  in  England  by  the  ringing 
of  bells,  the  firing  of  salutes,  and  other  demon- 
strations suitable  to  the  occasion.  It  is  note- 
worthy that  on  Tuesday  of  last  week  the  Pope 
completed  the  twenty-seventh  year  of  his  reign. 
It  is  not  unfair,  we  think,  to  say  that,  of  all  the 
European  rulers  of  the  time,  these  two  are  the  most 
popular.  They  have  ruled  during  the  most 
momentous  years  of  modern  history,  and  we 
believe  we  express  the  general  sentiments  of  the 


i;6  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

American  people  when  we  say  that  the  death  of 
the  one  or  the  other  would  be  felt  to  be  a  world- 
wide calamity.  In  troublous  times  the  Queen  has 
maintained  the  dignity  of  the  Throne  and  won  the 
love  of  her  subjects.  In  times  of  serious  peril  the 
Pope  has  maintained  the  authority  of  the  chair  of 
St  Peter,  and,  if  the  temporal  power  is  gone,  the 
spiritual  power  is  greater  than  ever.  Both  have 
ruled  wisely  and  well,  and  both  have  won  the 
respect  of  the  world."  Except  among  that  unhappy 
class  who  cherish  a  chronic  hatred  for  all  their 
superiors  in  character,  intellect,  wealth,  and 
station,  there  is  no  unkind  feeling  in  America 
towards  the  Queen  or  the  people  of  England.  On 
the  contrary,  there  is  no  city  in  the  world  where 
the  Queen,  or  any  member  of  the  Royal  Family, 
would  received  so  cordial  a  welcome  as  in  New 
York.  And  as  for  "  Old  England,"  the  blessed 
mother  of  us  all,  the  Americans  unanimously 
regard  it  as  the  greatest  country  in  the  world — 
except  their  own. 


INTERNATIONAL   INHUMANITY. 


INTERNATIONAL  INHUMANITY. 

WE  have  good  reasons  for  believing  that  the 
American  Centennial  of  1876  will  be  honoured  by 
the  presence  of  a  representative  Prince  from  each 
of  the  reigning  dynasties  of  Europe — the  Prince 
of  Wales,  or  one  of  his  Royal  brothers,  from 
England;  the  Prince  Imperial  of  France;  the 
Prince  of  the  Austrias,  from  Spain ;  Prince  Hum- 
bert or  Amadeus,  from  Italy ;  Prince  Frederick, 
from  Germany ;  and  Grand  Dukes  from  Russia, 
Austria,  and  other  reigning  Powers.  Will  not 
this  great  national  solemnity  be  also  a  fit  occasion 
for  convening  a  "  Congress  of  Nations  "  in  the 
interest  of  peace  and  humanity  ?  It  is  high  time 
that  a  world  calling  itself  civilised,  to  say  nothing 
of  the  boast  of  being  "  Christianised,"  "  evangel- 
ised," "  redeemed,"  &c.,  should  stay  the  hand  of 
human  slaughter,  stop  cutting  each  other's  throats, 
abolish  its  gun  manufactories,  "  beat  its  swords 
into  ploughshares,  its  spears  into  pruning-hooks, 

and  learn  the  art  of  war  no  more."      So  long  as 

M 


1/8  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

men  of  the  uppermost  classes,  called  "  officers," 
deem  it  an  honour  to  walk  the  streets  with  human- 
butcher  knives  dangling  at  their  sides,  society 
cannot  honestly  pretend  to  anything  but  a  state 
of  semi-barbarism.  The  colossal  fortunes  of  the 
age  we  live  in  are  made,  not  by  manufacturing 
trinkets  for  Diana  of  the  Ephesians,  but  by  imple- 
ments of  death  for  the  bloody  Moloch  of  War. 
Is  not  this  damnable  fact  infinitely  disgraceful  to 
our  so-called  civilisation  ?  And  who  are  respon- 
sible for  this  infamous  state  of  things — the  rulers 
of  the  people,  the  men  who  make  the  laws,  or 
the  men  who  make  the  law-makers  ?  Human 
nature  is  vicious  and  perverse,  say  the  Powers 
at  the  head  of  nations.  The  people  must  be 
coerced  into  duty  and  justice,  and  that  violently, 
by  bullet  and  bayonet.  Even  religious  opinions 
anjl  dogmas  must  be  maintained  and  propagated 
at  the  point  of  the  sword,  and  millions  of  inno- 
cent men  must  "  bite  the  dust "  to  keep  a  King 
on  his  throne  or  a  Pope  in  his  chair.  Such  is 
the  record  of  history,  the  fallacy  of  tradition. 
And  the  whole  theory  and  practice  of  govern- 
ment is  a  fraud  and  a  lie.  Individuals,  as  a 
rule,  settle  their  disputes  without  coming  to 
blows,  much  less  to  murder,  and  it  would  be 
vastly  easier  for  nations  to  arrange  their  affairs 
reasonably  and  amicably  than  for  individuals,  as  the 
passion  involved  in  the  controversy  loses  its  intens- 


INTERNATIONAL   INHUMANITY.  179 

ity  and  bitterness  in  proportion  to  the  numbers  that 
divide  and  share  it.  Why,  then,  is  not  the  Carlist 
Rebellion  in  Spain,  and  the  war  for  Independence 
in  Cuba,  summarily  settled  by  the  intervention  of 
nations,  and  an  end  put  to  this  daily  slaughter? 
Simply  because  certain  powerful  and  devilish  parties 
have  a  direct  interest  in  continuing  the  destructive 
strife.  Gun-makers,  powder-makers,  and  cartridge- 
makers  are  all  enriched  by  these  wars ;  while,  in 
Spain,  the  Priesthood — an  institution  that  professes 
to  represent  the  "  Prince  of  Peace,"  and  to  preach  a 
religion  that  condemns  the  shedding  of  human  blood 
as  the  greatest  of  all  crimes — is  the  very  source  and 
soul  of  the  Rebellion.  And  yet  the  neighbouring 
Powers  look  on  the  bloody  carnage-with  their  hands 
in  their  pockets  !  Yes,  literally,  with  their  hands  in 
their  pockets,  clinking  the  guineas  coined  from  the 
blood  of  the  people — the  victims  of  sectarian  and 
political  ambition!  Prince  Alfonso,  by  the  law  of 
Spain,  is  the  rightful  heir  to  the  Throne.  If  Spain 
has  not  the  power  to  place  him  there,  let  the  nations, 
in  the  name  of  Humanity,  jointly  come  to  her 
assistance.  If  the  people  of  Spain,  after  a  full 
and  fair  plebiscite,  do  not  wish  their  young  Prince 
to  reign  over  them  as  Alfonso  XL,  then  let  them 
choose  whom  they  will.  And  go  of  France,  al- 
though so  long  as  the  Provisional  Government 
of  M'Mahon  is  able  to  "  keep  the  peace,"  the 
question  of  Restoration  is  not  so  urgent  as  in 


ISO  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

Spain.  As  for  poor  Cuba,  the  United  States 
alone  is  responsible  for  the  long  suffering  of  the 
"  patriots  "  in  their  brave  and  desperate  struggle 
for  liberty.  But  this  charge  against  the  United 
States  is  altogether  too  vague,  and  does  great 
injustice  to  the  American  people.  We  shall 
narrow  it  down,  and  bring  it  directly  home  to 
the  Government  at  Washington.  Still  closer, 
and  more  pointedly,  we  charge  the  Secretary  of 
State,  Hamilton  Fish,  as  solely  responsible  for 
the  disastrous  continuance  of  this  six  years'  war 
in  the  island  of  Cuba.  Mr  Fish  alone  has 
stood  between  that  patriotic  band  and  Cuban 
Independence.  President  Grant  is  for  interven- 
tion, the  whole  American  people  are  for  inter- 
vention, but  Prime  Minister  Fish  is  permitted 
by  an  "  unscrupulous  Providence "  to  restrain, 
through  the  omnipotence  of  an  iron-clad  statute, 
the  sympathetic  impulses  of  40,000,000  of  people  ! 
"  There  is  not  water  enough  in  all  great  Neptune's 
ocean  to  wash  this  blood  clean  from  his  hands." 
Let  us  have  a  Peace  and  Humanity  Congress  at 
Philadelphia — the  Beautiful  City  of  Brotherly 
Love — in  1876,  and  put  an  end  to  this  brutal 
war  trade  and  international  inhumanity.  Let  the 
murder-munition  men  howl  till  Hell  echoes.  There 
will  be  a  new  anthem  of  joy  heard  in  the  Heavens 
in  glad  response  to  this  Centennial  Song  of  Peace. 


ROMANISM  AND  MASONRY.  l8l 


ROMANISM  AND  MASONRY. 

ROME  rejoices.  Lord  Ripon,  with  his  £60,000 
a  year,  has  joined  the  Catholic  Church,  and  His 
Holiness  the  Pope  is  about  to  present  the  noble 
"  pervert  "  with  a  sacred  souvenir.  The  Prince  of 
Wales  succeeds  his  late  "  Grand  Superior "  as 
Head- Centre  of  British  Freemasonry.  These 
"  changes  "  are  regarded  by  the  public  generally, 
and  by  the  Times  particularly,  as  very  important 
events,  big  with  the  fate  of  men  and  empires. 
Cosmopolitanism,  which  has  passed  all  sectarian 
limits,  all  political  stations,  all  social  organisa- 
tions, looks  upon  these  "  great  events "  as  the 
merest  trifles,  the  falling  of  a  leaf,  the  evolution 
of  a  cloud,  the  apparition  of  a  vapour.  Lord 
Ripon  has  gone  over  to  Rome,  and  the  sun 
continues  to  rise  and  set.  Lord  Ripon  is  an 
apostate  from  the  Church  of  his  fathers,  the 
Established  Church  of  England;  and  the  rivers 
still  flow  on  to  the  sea.  Lord  Ripon  accepts  the 
dogma  of  Immaculate  Conception  and  human 


1 82  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

infallibility,  and  Mother  Nature  inexorably  fulfils 
the  great  law  of  her  existence,  as  it  was  in  the 
beginning,  is  now,  and  shall  be  for  evermore ! 
The  difference  between  Ritualism  and  Romanism 
is  the  difference  between  mock  turtle  and  real 
turtle.  Some  prefer  to  swallow  the  genuine 
article,  without  questioning  ;  others,  the  simulated 
preparation,  with  more  or  less  of  hesitation  and 
doubt.  In  joining  the  Roman  Church,  a  man 
surrenders  his  reason,  and  blindly  gulps  the 
"Syllabus."  To  be  a  "good  Catholic,"  there 
must  be  no  more  free  thinking,  no  more  logic, 
no  more  philosophy.  All  that  is  required  is  the 
old  "  fides  Carbonaria  " — that  is,  to  believe  what 
the  Church  believes,  no  matter  how  preposterous, 
how  monstrous  the  creed  may  be.  The  Church 
assumes  to  be  wiser  than  science,  greater  than 
Nature,  and  less  fallible  than  the  motions  and 
the  mathematics  of  the  solar  system.  The 
Protestant  Church,  while  professing  to  reject 
these  tyrannous  assumptions  of  the  Roman  Hier- 
archy, and  reserving  to  itself  the  inalienable  birth- 
right of  reason  and  freedom,  fails  to  embody, 
either  in  faith  or  practice,  the  very  first  principles 
it  professes.  Protestantism,  as  represented  by 
the  Established  Church  of  England,  is  neither 
liberal,  logical,  nor  tolerant.  Both  Churches 
have  made  of  Christianity  a  religion  of  mysticism 


ROMANISM  AND  MASONRY.  183 

and  mythology,  and  the  "  members "  of  both 
sects  are  mainly  hypocrites,  although  the  great 
majority,  it  is  charity  to  believe,  have  not  the 
intelligence  to  know  it.  In  the  first  place,  we 
insist  that  no  intelligent,  educated  mind  of  the 
present  century  really  believes  in  the  miraculous 
absurdities  which  the  Roman  Church,  the  English 
Church,  or  any  other  Church,  teach  and  preach 
as  doctrines  "  essential  to  salvation."  They  all 
pretend  to  believe  that  the  Author  of  Christian- 
ity was  supernaturally  begotten,  and  that  the 
Palestine  peasant  girl  who  gave  him  birth  is 
the  veritable  Mother  of  God !  The  statement  of 
this  impossible  dogma  is  sufficient  for  its  refuta- 
tion. But  it  is  no  use  to  argue  with  men  who 
assert  that  water  runs  uphill,  or  that  the  sun 
revolves  round  the  earth.  The  great  practical 
error  of  all  the  Churches,  and  of  all  Religions, 
is,  that  they  profess  to  save  men  after  they  are 
dead,  and  not  to  make  them  good  and  happy  while 
living.  What  mean  all  these  costly  "  Houses  of 
God,"  all  these  funeral  prayers  and  burning 
candles?  Is  it  to  comfort  and  benefit  the  living? 
Not  at  all.  It  is  the  future  salvation  of  miserable 
sinners  that  the  Church  is  always  looking  after, 
not  the  present  welfare  of  sick  and  suffering 
humanity.  In  ninety-nine  cases  out  of  every 
hundred,  if  men  could  be  made  comfortable  for 


184  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

this  life,  they  would  willingly  "jump  the  life  to 
come."  When  the  saints  come  together  weekly 
to  pray  that  poor  men's  souls  may  be  kept  out 
of  Hell  throughout  Eternity,  let  them  interpolate 
in  their  "petitions"  an  earnest  wish  that  these 
"  perishing  sinners  "  may  find  the  bread  of  life 
to-day  and  means  to  pay  their  rent.  Further- 
more, they  might  prove  their  sincerity,  and  add 
efficacy  to  their  prayers,  by  taking  up  contribu- 
tions for  this  very  purpose,  instead  of  carrying 
round  the  hat  for  the  "  poor  heathen  abroad," 
which  means  for  the  salaries  of  Foreign  Missionary 
Societies.  Practical  charity  is  what  poor  sinners 
are  dying  for,  not  for  lack  of  prayers  and  precepts. 
To  help  a  suffering  fellow-man  through  the  real 
troubles  of  to-day  is  a  thousand  times  better  than 
praying  that  he  may  escape  some  doubtful  danger 
to-morrow.  A  man  dying  of  starvation  will  gladly 
accept  a  loaf  of  life-saving  bread  instead  of  prayers 
for  his  soul's  repose  after  death.  This  is  a  world 
of  realities,  not  illusions.  We  know  what  we  are, 
and  what  we  want  to-day;  we  know  not  where 
we  shall  be,  or  what  we  may  need,  to-morrow. 
In  fact,  we  positively  know  absolutely  nothing 
beyond  the  grave.  It  is  the  present  life,  not  the 
future,  that  concerns  us  most.  If  the  Churches 
of  all  sects  and  creeds  would  take  this  practical, 
cosmopolitan  view  of  their  duties,  there  would  be 


ROMANISM  AND  MASONRY.  185 

a  Religion  of  Humanity  far  above  all  these  petty 
and  petulant  ecclesiastical  divisions  of  Rome,  and 
Greece,  and  England.  The  world  would  then 
consist  of  but  one  harmonious  Family  of  Nations, 
with  one  Church  and  one  State  at  the  head  of  all. 
The  ostracism  of  the  secret  society  of  Freemasons 
by  the  Roman  Church  is  characteristic  of  the 
intolerance  of  that  ancient,  moss-grown,  worm- 
eaten,  ivy-bound  Hierarchy.  It  is  the  policy  of 
the  Church  to  allow  its  members  the  possession 
of  no  secrets,  especially  its  female  members.  The 
Confessional  must  know  all.  If  a  woman  has 
fl  sinned,"  she  must  unbosom  the  delicate  secret 
to  her  "  Father  Confessor,"  who,  of  course, 
administers  ghostly  admonition,  at  the  same 
time  assuring  the  fair  penitent  that,  having 
discovered  a  worm  in  the  fruit,  there  is  no  harm 
in  taking  a  bite  himself.  The  Roman  Priests 
manage  these  "  pastoral  relations "  and  "  nest- 
hiding  "  scenes  much  better  than  bungling 
Protestants — Beecher,  for  instance,  over  whose 
imprudent  tilt  on  Elizabeth  more  noise  is  made 
than  at  any  similar  chute  since  the  "  Fall  of 
Adam."  But  the  Rev.  Beecher  is  only  following 
in  the  footsteps  of  the  Saints  of  Old,  whom  he 
and  all  his  craft  are  constantly  holding  up  to 
admiring  congregations  as  models  worthy  of  all 
imitation.  Abraham,  Isaac,  and  Jacob,  Moses, 


I  86  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

David  and  Solomon,  were  all,  according  to  the 
"  Sacred  Word,"  more  or  less  guilty  of  Brigham 
Youngamy.  And  Beecher  is  probably  neither 
better  nor  worse  than  his  "holy  examples."  As 
for  the  great  battle  between  the  Old  Catholics 
and  the  Reformers,  it  is  growing  hotter  and  hotter, 
and  promises  to  be  the  great  event  of  the  close  of 
the  century.  The  Masons,  and  all  Secret  Societies, 
will  now  take  active  part  against  Mother  Church, 
and  when  Pio  Nono  closes  his  eyes,  there  will  be 
an  earthquake  in  the  Vatican.  In  the  meantime 
it  may  be  interesting  to  refer  to  a  letter  from  the 
Pope — addressed  to  the  Archbishop  of  Paris — an 
the  subject  of  Masonry  some  years  ago.  In  this 
letter  all  Secret  Societies  are  denounced  as  "  sects 
of  impiety,  bound  only  by  complicity  in  odious 
crimes,  full  of  perverse  manoeuvres  and  diabolical 
crimes ;  corrupters  of  morals,  and  destroyers  of 
every  idea  of  honour,  truth,  and  justice ;  propa- 
gators of  monstrous  opinions ;  disseminators  of 
abominable  vices  and  unheard-of  wickedness,  and 
capable,  if  possible,  of  driving  God  from  Heaven." 
This  is  pretty  strong.  It  should,  however,  be 
remembered  that  it  is  admitted  by  Masonic  writers 
that  not  the  Papacy,  but  the  States- General  of 
Holland,  had  the  discredit  of  beginning  the 
persecutions  of  Masons.  Not  until  1738  did 
Clement  XII.  fulminate  his  bull  against  Masonry. 


ROMANISM  AND  MASONRY.  l8/ 

Freemason  writers  are  fond  of  asserting  that  the 
present  Pope  himself  once  belonged  to  the 
fraternity.  And  when  by  his  orders  the  priests 
of  Madrid  refused  to  perform  the  services  of  the 
Church  over  the  body  of  Prince  Henry  of  Bourbon, 
they  accused  him  of  violation  of  his  Masonic  oath, 
and  they  asserted  that  the  statements  made  in 
his  letter  to  M.  Darboy  were  either  calumnies, 
or  were  flagrant  infringements  of  the  vow  which 
he  took  on  entering  the  Order.  We  close  with 
one  word  for  the  priests  of  all  denominations  : 
The  man  who  preaches  better  things  than  he 
practises,  whose  sermon  is  holier  than  his  life,  is 
a  fraud. 


1 88  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 


ENGLISH  GIRLS  IN  LONDON. 

CERTAIN  long-sighted  philanthropists  have  been 
getting  up  a  sympathy  meeting  in  Manchester  in 
behalf  of  the  "  poor  English  girls  in  Paris,"  at 
which  the  Bishop  of  Manchester  presided.  Are 
these  good  people  aware  of  the  fact  that  the  City 
of  London  swarms  with  poor  English  girls,  who 
are  in  quite  as  wretched  a  condition  as  any  of 
their  countrywomen  in  Paris  ?  It  is  estimated 
that  a  hundred  thousand  prostitutes  nightly  hunt 
for  bread  in  the  streets  of  the  Great  Metropolis, 
infesting  all  its  highways  and  byways.  We  say, 
deliberately,  hunt  for  bread,  or  rather  for  money, 
as  this  is  the  motive  of  nine  out  of  every  ten 
of  these  miserable  women  who  haunt  the  streets 
in  pursuit  of  their  disreputable  vocation.  And 
they  belong  to  all  classes  and  conditions  of  society, 
including  married,  unmarried,  and  widowed.  From 
Pall  Mall  to  Portland  Place,  and  from  twilight  to 
midnight,  a  countless  multitude  of  these  sad  beg- 
gars lie  in  wait  for  their  prey.  But  it  is  poverty, 


ENGLISH  GIRLS  IN  LONDON.  189 

not  passion,  that  sends  these  women  into  the  street 
to  traffic  with  strangers  in  a  way'  repugnant  to 
every  instinct  of  woman's  nature.  At  first  they 
will  importune  a  man  to  accompany  them  home, 
or  offer  to  go  home  with  him,  and,  on  being 
refused,  will  beg  piteously  for  a  shilling,  a  glass 
of  beer,  or  of  gin.  No  doubt  drink  is  the  prin- 
cipal cause  of  all  this  misery.  Excited  by  drink, 
a  woman  commits  her  first  faux  pas,  and  then 
she  goes  on  drinking  to  stupefy  her  sensibilities, 
and  drown  her  sense  of  shame.  And  London  is 
inundated  with  these  miserable  sinners.  But  our 
philanthropists  overlook  all  this  sin  and  suffering 
at  home,  and  go  over  to  the  gay  capital  of  France 
to  find  a  field  for  the  exercise  of  their  charities. 
They  want  £10,000  to  build  a  "  Home  "  in  Paris 
for  English  women  stranded  there.  Not  less  than 
£1,000,000  is  needed  here  in  London  to  relieve 
the  suffering  and  starvation  of  these  100,000 
street-walkers,  who  are  struggling  to  live  on  the 
"wages  of  sin,"  many  of  whom  dare  not  enter 
their  rooms  at  night  without  their  "  wages  "  in 
their  pockets.  And  yet  our  goody-goody  Church- 
folk  pass  by  all  this  misery  on  their  own  door- 
steps, and  hold  their  "  regular  prayer-meetings," 
and  "  take  up  contributions  "  for  the  conversion 
of  the  happy  heathen  of  Borrioboolagha !  Aris- 
tocratic ladies  despise  these  poor  Magdalenes 


COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

of  the  streets,  and  gather  up  their  immaculate 
robes  whenever  one  of  "  these  women  "  passes,  as 
if  a  pestilence  approached.  At  the  same  time 
Madame  Respectability,  assuming  a  virtue  that 
she  does  not  possess,  may  be  a  monster  of  false- 
hood, infidelity,  and  hypocrisy,  and  a  thousand 
times  more  guilty  in  the  sight  of  Infinite  Purity 
than  these  poor  honest  prostitutes  on  whom  she 
casts  a  withering  look  of  scornful  contempt. 
The  judgments  of  men,  and  of  women  too,  are 
sometimes  unjust.  If  we  had  the  purse  of  a 
Rothschild  or  a  Coutts,  we  would  not  go  to 
Paris  or  to  China  for  the  objects  of  our  charity, 
but  would  distribute  the  "  bread  of  life  "  freely 
along  Regent  Street  among  the  multitude  of 
hungry  and  unhappy  women  who  nightly  haunt 
that  fashionable  promenade. 


THE   MARVELLOUS   COUNTRY.  1C)1 


THE  MARVELLOUS  COUNTRY. 

THIS  is  the  attractive  title  of  an  exceedingly  fas- 
cinating book,  written  by  Samuel  Woodwortb 
Cozzens,  and  published  by  Sampson  Low  &  Co., 
in  a  handsome  volume  of  532  pages,  illustrated  by 
over  100  engravings.  We  have  read  the  work  at 
a  single  sitting,  and  with  an  interest  unsurpassed 
even  by  the  scientific  fictions  of  Jules  Verne. 
The  author  has  passed  three  years  in  the  "  Marvel- 
lous Country  "  of  Arizona  and  New  Mexico,  and  his 
descriptions,  which  have  the  marks  of  authenticity, 
are  of  the  most  picturesque,  romantic,  and  thrilling 
character.  Mr  Cozzens  meets  and  quotes  men  from 
whose  lips  we  have  often  heard  of  the  beautiful 
scenery,  the  mountain  sublimity,  and  the  mineral 
marvels  which  form  the  subject  of  his  wonderful 
book.  General  Gadsden,  the  American  Minister, 
who  negotiated  the  Mexican  Treaty,  at  whose 
pleasant  plantation  in  South  Carolina  we  have 
heard  of  the  inestimable  value  of  the  "  Gadsden 
Purchase ;  "  John  R.  Bartlett,  the  United  States 


1 92  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

Commissioner  to  settle  the  "  Boundary  Question  " 
between  Mexico  and  the  United  States  ;  Sylvester 
Mowry,  one  of  the  earliest  American  settlers  in 
Arizona,  and  the  first  to  represent  the  Territory 
fit  Washington ;  J.  Ross  Browne,  who  visited  the 
Mines  as  United  States  Surveyor ;  and  Colonel  C. 
D.  Poston,  also  a  representative  from.  Arizona 
at  Washington,  and  who  has  long  lived  in  that 
"  Marvellous  Country "  as  manager  of  a  great 
Mining  Company;  from  each  and  all  of  these 
actual  "  surveyors  of  the  land  "  we  have  had  the 
same  general  report  now  more  fully  and  graphi- 
cally given  in  the  charming  volume  before  us. 
We  should  like  to  give  our  readers  a  resume  of 
the  contents  of  this  rare  work  ;  but,  better  still, 
if  we  can  only  induce  them  to  read  it,  as  the 
perusal  cannot  fail  to  turn  the  footsteps  of 
European  travellers  towards  the  "  Marvellous 
Country,"  many  of  whom  would  doubtless  be 
inclined  to  remain  there  for  life,  or  at  least  long 
enough  to  carve  their  fortunes  from  the  silver 
mountains  of  Arizona  and  Sonora.  In  1514, 
twenty-two  years  after  the  discovery  of  the  New 
World  by  Columbus,  Cortez  conquered  Mexico, 
and  found  the  Aztecs,  as  the  people  were  then 
called,  in  possession  of  immense  quantities  of 
gold,  silver,  and  precious  stones.  Hence  the 
name  of  El  Dorado  given  to  the  new  country  by 


THE   MARVELLOUS   COUNTRY.  193 

the  Spaniards.  To  the  question — "  Where  did  all 
this  treasure  come  from?" — Montezuma's  only- 
reply,  even  when  put  to  the  torture,  was,  "  from 
the  North-West,"  from  a  country  known  as 
Cibola,  the  Buffalo,  far  beyond  the  limits  of 
Montezuma's  empire.  The  Cibola  of  that  day  is 
the  Arizona  of  this,  which  means  "  the  silver- 
bearing  land."  No  wonder  that  the  Mexicans 
were  so  reluctant  to  cede  this  rich  territory  to  the 
United  States  for  the  comparatively  insignificant 
sum  of  10,000,000  of  dollars.  It  is  confidently 
predicted  that  the  product  of  a  single  Arizona 
silver  mine  will  reach  100,000,000  dollars  in  a 
single  year.  In  the  monastery  of  Dolores,  in 
Zacatecas,  there  are  parchment  records  of  Father 
Kino,  who,  in  the  year  1658,  explored  this  "  Mar- 
vellous Country "  alone,  in  the  interest  of  his 
Church,  "  the  Cross  his  only  protection,  the 
wilderness  his  only  purveyor,"  and  found  gold  and 
silver  utensils  more  plentiful  than  iron.  No  doubt 
this  brave  old  monk  followed  the  course  of  the 
Santa  Cruz  river,  in  what  is  now  the  province  of 
Sonora,  until  he  reached  its  junction  with  the 
Gila.  Father  Kino  describes  the  people  as  primi- 
tive and  patriarchal,  whose  flocks  and  herds  were 
immense,  whose  religion  was  Sun-worship,  and 
upon  whose  altars  a  flame  of  devotion  was,  and 
still  is,  always  burning.  From  that  day  to  this 

N 


194  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

the  people  have  changed  but  little,  and  the  coun- 
try still  less.  There  are  the  wonderful  silver 
mines,  as  rich  and  as  inexhaustible  as  in  the 
time  of  the  Montezumas  ;  there  is  the  "  Organ 
Mountain,"  with  its  forty  various-coloured  pipes 
gleaming  in  the  sun  ;  there  are  the  wonderful 
cities  of  natural  architecture,  rivalling  the  work 
of  man ;  the  cactus  tree,  four  feet  in  diameter, 
fifty  feet  high,  the  trunk  fluted  like  a  Corinthian 
column,  and  bursting  into  bloom  of  indescribable 
splendour  at  the  top ;  and  there  are  curious 
mounds,  enchanting  valleys,  fragrant  forests, 
flowing  streams,  innumerable  birds  of  strange 
bright  plumage,  and  all  the  varied  products  of 
nature  and  of  civilisation  in  the  way  of  fruits, 
vegetables,  cereals,  &c.  The  book  is  rightly 
named.  It  is  indeed  a  "  Marvellous  Country." 
Mr  Cozzens  gives  us  nothing  particularly  new  in 
regard  to  the  richness  of  the  mines  of  Arizona  and 
Sonora.  We  have  had  all  the  facts  and  figures  in 
a  more  exact  form  in  the  official  reports  of  Browne, 
Bartlett,  Pumpelly,  and  others.  The  latter  author, 
who  deserves  to  be  called  the  Humboldt  of  America, 
in  his  "  Notes  of  a  Five  Years'  Journey  Round 
the  World,"  is  full  of  most  valuable  information 
in  regard  to  Arizona.  To  the  question  why  these 
rich  mines  have  been  comparatively  neglected 
since  the  acquisition  of  the  Territory  by  the  United 


THE  -MARVELLOUS   COUNTRY.  1 95 

States,  two  reasons  may  be  given  as  sufficient 
answer  : — The  Civil  War  and  the  Apache  Indians. 
The  former  is  at  an  end,  and  the  Indians  are 
nearly  all  exterminated.  Cochise,  the  vindictive 
and  revengeful  Chief,  is  dead,  and  the  remnant  of 
his  hostile  tribe  will  soon  be  utterly  extinct.  The 
only  way  to  reform  an  Apache  is  to  kill  him. 
After  reading  the  horrible  details  of  their  cruelties, 
even  a  "  Quaker  Commissioner  "  would  be  dis- 
posed to  change  his  policy  of  conciliation  for  one 
of  extermination.  Like  beasts  and  birds  of  prey, 
rattlesnakes,  and  other  venomous  reptiles,  the 
sooner  these  pestilential  "Injins  "are  "improved" 
from  the  face  of  the  earth  the  better  for  them- 
selves and  the  rest  of  mankind.  To  return  to  the 
natural  wonders  of  this  "  Marvellous  Country." 
Forty  miles  west  of  the  Rio  Grande  is  the  river 
Mimbres,  which  occasionally  sinks  and  disappears 
in  the  plains,  re-appearing  miles  below.  This  is 
one  of  the  unique  wonders  of  the  world.  Then 
there  is  the  "  Ojo  Caliente,"  hot  spring,  on  the 
top  of  a  mound  962  feet  in  circumference  at  the 
base,  and  46  feet  in  height.  The  water  sustains 
a  perpetual  temperature  of  135°  Fahrenheit,  and 
when  cooled  is  drinkable.  For  hot  bathing  it  is 
wonderfully  efficacious  in  all  scrofulous  complaints. 
What  an  attraction  for  a  grand  hotel  des  invalides  ! 
In  the  Mesilla  Valley  we  have  the  famous  El  Paso 


196  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

grape,  of  which  a  hundred  thousand  gallons  of 
wine  are  annually  made,  equal  to  the  finest  Port 
or  Burgundy.  The  El  Paso  vine  was  introduced 
by  the  priests  from  Portugal  in  the  year  1680. 
Among  other  marvellous  customs  of  the  country 
we  give  the  following  "  religious  anecdote  :  " — Our 
author  attends  a  cock-fight,  "  after  vespers,  in  the 
yard  of  the  church,  at  which  silver  ounces  freely 
changed  hands.  Each  cock  was  armed  with  the 
old-fashioned  Spanish  slasher,  a  long,  thin,  steel 
blade,  shaped  somewhat  like  a  hoop,  and  most 
effective  in  destroying  the  life  of  the  bird  in  whose 
body  it  is  once  sheathed.  The  priest  who  officiated 
at  vespers  was  the  owner  of  the  winning  cock,  his 
opponent  having  been  brought  from  Tucson.  Of 
course  we  congratulated  him  upon  his  good  fortune, 
and  his  hearty  mil  gracias  convinced  us  that  his 
soul  was  quite  as  much  with  his  bird  as  it  had 
been  with  his  service."  Mr  Cozzeus  gives  the 
following  picture  of  Tubac,  where  he  found  "  the 
elite  of  Arizona.  It  was  also  the  headquarters 
of  the  Arizona  Mining  Company  ;  and  it  was  here 
that  we  met  Mr  Poston,  the  agent  and  superinten- 
dent of  the  Company.  The  town  itself  was  very 
attractive,  with  its  b'eautiful  groves  of  acacias,  its 
peach  orchards,  and  its  pomegranates,  situated,  as 
it  is,  immediately  on  the  banks  of  the  Santa  Cruz, 
and  embowered  in  the  most  luxuriant  foliage.  In 


THE   MARVELLOUS   COUNTRY.  1 97 

close  proximity  to  this  town  are  to  be  found  the 
Santa  Rita,  the  Heintzleman,  and  the  Cerro  Gordo 
mines,  the  richest  yet  discovered  in  the  Territory." 
Among  the  Cus torn-House  archives  of  Guaymas, 
the  seaport  of  Sonora,  is  found  the  "  entry,"  in 
1683,  of  a  mass  of  virgin  silver  weighing  2800  Ibs., 
which  was  claimed  for  the  King  as  a  "  curiosity." 
Humboldt  says  that  "up  to  the  beginning  of  the 
present  century,  the  quantity  of  silver  taken  from 
these  mines  has  exceeded  that  of  gold  in  the  ratio 
of  46  to  1."  When  the  Southern  Pacific  Rail- 
road reaches  Tucson,  as  it  is  bound  to  do  at  no 
distant  date,  and  a  hundred  thousand  coolies  are 
at  work  in  the  Santa  Rita  Mines,  in  the  lovely 
Santa  Rita  Valley,  where  the  thermometer  stands 
at  70°  Fahrenheit  all  the  year  round,  there  will  be 
such  an  influx  of  the  precious  metals  from  that 
11  Marvellous  Country  "  as  the  world  has  never 
seen  since  the  days  of  Cortez.  We  have  no  know- 
ledge of  the  author  of  this  "  marvellous  "  book, 
except  that  he  is  an  American  ;  but  we  must  give 
him  credit  for  one  of  the  most  interesting  and 
valuable  works  of  travel  and  adventure  we  have 
ever  read.  Neither  Humboldt,  Ward,  Pumpelly, 
nor  any  other  author  has  given  us  so  fascinat- 
ing a  panorama  of  the  Silver  Land  of  Arizona, 
the  Treasure-House  of  the  Montezumas,  the  El 
Dorado  of  Cortez,  the  rich  Mission-field  of  the 


198  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

Jesuits,  the  most  "  Marvellous  Country "  in  that 
New  World  which  Columbus  gave  to  the  Kingdom 
of  Castille  and  Leon,  a  new  jewel  to  the  Crown  of 
Ferdinand  and  Isabella. 


END   OF   THE   PRETENDER,  199 


END   OF  THE  PRETENDER. 

THE  report  of  the  serious  wounding  of  Don  Carlos 
lacks  confirmation.  We  fear  it  is  not  true.  This 
sounds  cruel,  inhuman  ;  but,  considering  only  the 
greatest  good  of  the  greatest  number,  the  death  of 
this  stupid  Pretender,  the  catspaw  of  the  Ultra- 
montanes,  would  be  a  public  blessing.  The  life 
of  this  arrant  traitor  is  worth  no  more  than  that 
of  tens  of  thousands  who  have  fallen  in  his  foolish 
cause  ;  besides,  the  crime  of  treason  long  since 
doomed  the  Pretender  to  death.  Whether  he  is 
now  mortally  wounded  or  not,  the  cause  of  the 
Carlists,  which  was  a  lost  cause  from  the  beginning, 
must  soon  collapse  in  a  miserable  fiasco.  It  has 
been  kept  alive  by  the  Priests,  who  have  squeezed 
the  "  sinews  of  war  "  from  their  bigoted  and  be- 
nighted followers.  No  end  of  blood  and  treasure 
has  been  sacrificed  in  this  wicked  and  hopeless  Re- 
bellion, which  is  now  approaching  the  last  gasp. 
Therefore  it  is  not  unreasonable  nor  unjust  to  de- 
sire the  instant  suppression  of  a  great  crime  by 


2OO  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

the  death  of  the  greatest  criminal.  Carlismhas  no 
sympathy  in  Europe  outside  the  Roman  Church, 
and  only  among  those  Ultramontanes  who  abandon 
reason,  common  sense,  and  every  attribute  of  man- 
hood to  obey  the  dictates  of  Priestcraft.  The  war 
in  Spain  is  a  war  between  Reason  and  Superstition, 
between  Treason  and  Legitimacy.  The  Rightful 
Heir  to  the  Throne,  now  a  student  in  England,  is 
naturally  regarded  by  the  better  classes  of  the 
Spanish  people  just  as  much  their  future  King  as 
the  Prince  of  Wales  is  so  regarded  by  the  people  of 
England*  In  either  case,  an  honest  popular  plebi- 
scite would  only  seat  the  Rightful  Heir  more  firmly 
on  the  Throne.  We  repeat,  the  death  of  the  Pre- 
tender and  Traitor  Carlos,  a  thick-headed  youth 
with  more  ambition  than  brains,  would  be  an  event 
for  universal  rejoicing,  especially  to  the  poor  country 
that  has  lost  by  his  wicked  pretensions  so  much 
blood  and  treasure. 


THE  DEVILS  INVENTION.  201 


THE  DEVIL'S  INVENTION. 

IT  is  generally  believed  that  gunpowder  was  in- 
vented by  a  "  Heathen  Chinee."  We  are  inclined 
to  doubt  the  tradition  from  the  fact  that  the  Chin- 
ese at  that  epoch  had  no  guns,  and  didRiot  use 
explosives  for  blasting  purposes.  Considering  the 
destructiveness  of  this  infernal  commodity,  we  must 
regard  gunpowder  as  the  Devil's  own  invention. 
Not  that  we  believe  in  a  personal  Devil,  but  we  do 
believe  in  the  existence  of  men  endowed  with  all 
diabolical  passions  and  attributes,  which  practically 
amounts  to  the  same  thing.  The  number  of  deaths 
caused,  and  the  amount  of  property  destroyed,  by 
the  use  of  this  "  villainous  saltpetre  "  is  altogether 
beyond  our  arithmetic  to  calculate.  As  for  any 
good  that  has  resulted  from  the  invention  we  leave 
others  to  estimate.  And  now,  in  addition  to  this 
fearful  explosive,  science  has  given  us  dynamite, 
glycerine,  and  gun-cotton,  and  there  is  more  than 
enough  of  these  deadly  agents  in  the  warehouses 
of  London  to  blow  the  entire  city  to  smithereens. 


2O2  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

^If  the  shaking  up  of  the  Regent's  Park  explosion 
opens  the  eyes  of  the  authorities  to  the  perils  to 
which  we  are  momently  exposed,  it  will  prove  a 
blessing  in  disguise,  considering  how  few  lives 
were  lost.  Half-a-million  sterling  may,  perhaps, 
repair  the  damages  of  this  disaster,  while  a  hun- 
dred millions  would  not  cover  the  possible  loss  of 
a  similar  calamity  in  the  heart  of  the  metropolis. 
As  the  loupes  by  the  late  calamity  will  principally 
fall  on  house-owners,  no  doubt  an  energetic  effort 
will  bejjnade  to  guard  against  a  repetition  of  the 
catastrophe.  In  the  meantime,  somebody  in  author- 
ity* should  instantly  banish  all  these  dangerous 
explosives  to  a  safe  distance  from  all  human  habi- 
tations. Parliament  is  not  in  session,  and,  when 
it  meets,  red-tape  movements  are  slow.  Some  time 
since,  we  are  told,  there  was  a  great  fire  at  Bromley 
Rice  Mills,  and  it  was  discovered  that  close^under- 
the  blazing  pile  was  a  barge  laden  with  thirty  tons  of 
gunpowder — six  times  as  much  as  caused  the  de- 
struction in  St  John's  Wood.  The  barrels  were 
covered  with  tarpaulin ;  several  pieces  of  blazing 
timber  fell  from  the  burning  building  on  this  cover- 
ing, but  were  plucked  away  by  courageous  hands, 
and  thus  the  cargo  and  the  community  were  saved. 
The  carriage  of  gunpowder  through  London  is  an 
event  of  very  frequent  occurrence.  At  Blackwall 
Stairs  alone  132  tons  were  shipped  in  1872,  and  122 


THE  DEVIL'S  INVENTION.  2O3 


tons  in  1873  ;  other  shipments  took  place  at 
ping,  Bow  Creek,  and  elsewhere.  These  shipments 
are  made  in  quantities  varying  up  to  twenty  tons, 
and  are  conducted  quite  legally  ;  but  Major  Majen-- 
die,  in  stating  this  to  the.  Select  Committee,  added 
these  significant  words  :  —  "  It  was  carried  in  open 
carts,  which  are,  in  my  opinion,  quite  unsuitable 
for  the  conveyance  of  powder  through  populous 
places  ;  also,  in  putting  the  powder  i^to  barges 
and  taking  it  out  of  barges,  I  am  told  it  is  a  com- 
mon thing  for  the  barrels  to  break  and  th^powder 
to  be  spilt,  and  no  special  precaution  s-arV^tal^en 
by  laying  down  cloths,  proper  boats,  or  otherwise  ; 
add  to  that,  that  there  is  no  power  of  interference 
on  the  part  of  the  police  'in  the  case  of  people 
smoking  in  the  neighbourhood.  And  this  is  a 
point  to  which  I  wish  to  call  most  particular  at- 
tentiqp."  During  the  American  Civil  War  no  less 
than  500  tons  of  gunpowder  were  stored  in  the 
harbour  of  New  York.  A  single  spark  from  a 
careless  smoker  would  have  blown  the  city  to  atoms. 
On  the  whole,  except  for  "  sporting  "  purposes, 
gunpowder  might  as  well  be  abolished.  Its  mea- 
sure of  mischief  is  about  filled  up.  Society  can 
exist  without  this  destructive  element,  and  that, 
too,  more  happily  and  more  securely.  Is  there  not, 
among  all  the  numberless  worlds  of  the  Solar 
System,  at  least  one  where  there  are  no  guns,  or 


2O4  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

jswords,  or  bayonets,  nor  professional  human  but- 
chers called  soldiers  ?  Such  a  world  would  be  a 
very  pleasant  one  to  settle  in.  One  would  not 
object  to  passing  through  the  Dark  Valley  in  order 
to  reach  if. 


THE   DREAMLAND   OF   THE  PACIFIC.          2O5 


THE  DREAMLAND   OF  THE 
PACIFIC. 

THE  untravelled  multitude,  among  all  civilised 
nations,  entertain  a  vague  belief  in  the  existence 
of  certain  "  Islands  of  the  Blest,"  situated  some- 
where in  the  South  Pacific  Ocean,  where  peace, 
plenty,  and  health  are  the  normal  condition  of 
man,  making  life  one  long  dream,  or  rather  reality 
of  happiness.  Such  is  the  romantic  land  of 
Melville's  "  Omoo  and  Typee,"  the  "  Navigators' 
Islands "  of  the  Dutch,  the  Samoan  group  of 
Wilkes,  and  our  latest  editions  of  "  maps  of  the 
world."  This  fair  cluster  of  Polynesians  is  com- 
posed of  nine  islands  lying  between  13°  27'  and 
14°  18'  south  of  the  equator,  and  between  169°  28' 
and  172°  48'  west  longitude.  They  are  of  volcanic 
origin,  and  only  as  recently  as  1866  "a  great  col- 
umn of  fire  burst  forth  from  the  ocean,  between 
Manua  and  Oloosinga,  rising  like  a  pillar  to  the 
height  of  a  thousand  or  more  feet,  and  continuing 
for  a  period  of  two  weeks."  All  the  mountains 


2O6  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

of  the  Samoan  Islands  are  extinct  craters  ; — another 
argument  in  favour  of  the  igneous  origin  of  all 
things  mundane — effects  of  the  one  great  cause — 
which  always  lead  us  reverently  back  to  the  om- 
nipotent Sun,  the  Father  of  Light,  and  Life,  and 
Motion.  Our  attention  has  been  freshly  called  to 
these  beautiful  "Pacific  Isles"  by  an  exceedingly 
interesting  Report  recently  made  by  Colonel  A.  B. 
Steinberger  to  the  Secretary  of  State  at  Washing- 
ton, and  communicated  to  the  Senate  in  a  Message 
from  the  President  on  the  21st  of  April  1874. 
Colonel  Steinberger  is  a  young  man  of  rare  ability 
and  promise.  "When  scarcely  of  age,  this  brave 
young  pioneer,  to  protect  his  little  band  from  a 
pitiless  Rocky  Mountain  snow-storm,  erected  the 
first  hut  on  the  site  of  the  flourishing  city  of  Denver. 
In  the  early  part  of  1873  Colonel  Steinberger  was 
commissioned  by  the  President  to  make  a  survey  of 
the  Islands  of  Samoa,  for  which  duty  he  embarked 
from  San  Francisco  in  the  pilot-boat  Fanny ,  a 
schooner  of  forty-three  tons,  on  June  29th  of  the 
same  year.  The  Report  now  before  us  is  an  ex- 
ceedingly valuable  contribution  to  the  geograph- 
ical knowledge  of  the  world,  and  will  doubtless 
make  the  intelligent  and  scientific  author  an  hon- 
orary member  of  all  the  Geographical  and  Eth- 
nological Societies  of  Europe  and  America.  The 
marvels  of  those  comparatively  unknown  Islands 


THE   DREAMLAND   OF   THE  PACIFIC.  2O/ 

are  stranger  than  the  romantic  pictures  of  Dream- 
land to  be  gathered  from  the  pages  of  Richard 
Dana,  Ross  Browne,  Herman  Melville,  Dr  Mayo, 
or  any  of  the  numerous  authors  who,  skirting  these 
"  Islands  of  the  Blest,"  and  scenting  their  "  spicy 
breezes,"  have  thrown  around  them  the  iris-hued 
tints  of  Paradise.  But  truth  is  always  more  won- 
derful, more  beautiful,  and  more  sublime  than 
fiction.  Our  surveyor's  plain  facts  are  more  fas- 
cinating than  the  poetic  fancies  of  the  novelists. 
In  last  week's  Cosmopolitan  we  wrote,  con  amore, 
of  "  The  Marvellous  Country  "  of  New  Mexico, 
the  wonderful  Silver  Land  of  Arizona  and  Sonora, 
and  our  little  sketch  is  already  re-appearing  in  the 
French  press.  We  now  call  the  attention  of  our 
readers  to  another  wonder-land  of  a  very  different 
description,  inhabited  by  people  of  a  very  different 
character,  far  away  in  the  blue  Pacific — 

''That  softer  clime  that  lies 
In  ten  degrees  of  more  effulgent  skies." 

There  we  find  that  sacred  bird,  the  veritable  "  Dodo," 
inhabiting  the  most  lonely  parts  of  inaccessible 
mountains,  and  only  eaten  by  great  chiefs.  Col- 
onel Steinberger  brought  home  a  live  specimen, 
which  proved  to  be  the  "  tooth-billed  pigeon," 
having  three  teeth  upon  either  side  of  the  lower 
mandible.  And  there,  too,  although  snakes  are 


2O8  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

numerous,  none  are  venomous,  and  one  species 
(vivimi  gatd)  crows  like  a  cock !  In  1838  Com- 
modore Wilkes  visited  this  charming  group  of 
Islands,  and  all  who  have  read  his  narrative  will 
remember  the  lovely  little  Princess  "Emma." 
Colonel  Steinberger  found  her  last  year  a  beautiful 
woman  of  fifty.  The  aggregate  population  of  the 
group  is  about  36,000,  of  whom  Upolu  has  16,000 
and  Savaii  12,000.  The  entire  area  of  these  Islands, 
according  to  Wilkes,  is  1650  square  miles.  The 
products  embrace  almost  every  kind  of  fruits  and 
vegetables  known  in  the  tropics.  The  magnificent 
timber-trees  are  unsurpassed  in  size,  beauty,  and 
variety.  Col.  Steinberger  brought  home  forty-one 
different  specimens.  The  banyan  flourishes  in  all 
its  grandeur  and  glory.  The  inhabitants  are  ami- 
able, meek,  and  melancholy,  of  a  dark  olive  com- 
plexion, resembling  polished  copper.  The  male 
Samoan  is  tall,  erect,  proud  in  bearing,  with  smooth, 
straight,  and  well-rounded  limbs.  The  females 
are  generally  slight,  especially  the  young  girls ; 
erect  and  symmetrical,  easy  and  graceful  in  their 
movements,  "  the  charm  of  light-heartedness 
seeming  to  follow  every  action."  Venereal  disease 
is  unknown ;  and  maidens  have  to  submit  to  a  test 
of  their  virginity  before  the  nuptial  knot  is  tied. 
With  even-handed  justice,  adultery  in  both  sexes 
is  punished  with  two  years  of  hard  labour  on  the 


THE   DREAMLAND   OF   THE   PACIFIC.          2CX) 

public  roads.  Since  the  year  1830  these  innocent 
and  amiable  "  heathen  "  have  all  been  converted 
to  Christianity,  at  first  through  the  preaching  of 
"  Jimmy  the  Sweet,"  who  could  neither  read  nor 
write,  and  of  "  Dan  the  Convict,"  who  captured 
the  Roma,  murdered  the  captain,  burnt  the  ship, 
and  landed  in  Savaii  as  a  volunteer  missionary. 
It  was  then  that  the  Rev.  John  Williams,  now 
known  as  "  the  martyr,"  took  up  the  "  Tale  of  Re- 
demption," and  carried  it  triumphantly  through 
the  Islands.  Now  every  child  can  read  and  write, 
repeat  the  Catechism,  and  sing  hymns  as  glibly 
as  any  Sunday-scholar  in  Europe.  "  With  them 
Sunday  is  a  day  of  rest  and  religious  devotion. 
Food  is  collected  on  Friday  and  prepared  on  Sa- 
turday. On  the  Sabbath  scarcely  a  boat  is  to  be 
seen  ;  the  hunter  is  never  in  the  woods  during  its 
sacred  hours.  Attendance  upon  church-meetings 
affords  almost  the  only  sign  of  life  ;  even  the  sports 
of  the  children  are  sacrificed,  in  a  large  degree,  to 
the  strict  observance  of  the  day.  To  a  stranger, 
the  village  seems  deserted."  The  laws  recently 
enacted  for  the  government  of  these  Islands  are 
more  "advanced  "than  those  of  "the  most  favoured 
nations  of  Europe."  The  commerce  of  Samoa  is 
monopolised  virtually  by  Germany,  and  that  by 
the  single  mercantile  house  of  Goddefroy  &  Co. ,  of 
Hamburg,  represented  at  Apia,  the  principal  port, 


2IO  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

by  Mr  Alfred  Poppe.  During  the  fifty-five  days 
that  Col.  Steinberger's  schooner  was  in  port,  the 
above  firm  took  away  no  less  than  5230  tons  of 
copra,  dried  cocoa,  worth  95  dollars  a  ton  in  Europe, 
for  which  they  paid  the  natives  about  20  dollars  a 
ton.  Col.  Steinberger  found  everywhere  the  chiefs 
and  the  people  anxious  to  come  under  the  pro- 
tection of  the  United  States,  and  has  so  reported 
to  the  Powers  at  Washington.  So  we  may  look 
for  the  annexation  of  the  Samoan  group  to  the 
Great  Republic  at  no  distant  date.  If  so,  we  hope 
that  Col.  Steinberger  will  be  appointed  Governor 
of  these  lovely  Islands,  of  which  he  has  given  so 
good  a  Report.  Mr  Secretary  Fish  has  shown 
great  sagacity  and  statesmanship  in  this  Samoan 
movement.  He  could  not  have  selected  a  better 
Commissioner  for  the  purpose  than  Col.  Steinber- 
ger, who  is  already  regarded  as  de  facto  Chief  of 
the  Samoan  Islands,  as  he  not  only  made  enthu- 
siastic friends  of  the  natives,  but  was  also  warmly 
welcomed  by  the  missionaries,  of  whose  benevolent 
labours  he  speaks  in  the  strongest  terms. 


AMERICAN  BONDS  AND  ENGLISH  CONSOLS.      211 


AMERICAN  BONDS  AND   ENGLISH- 
CONSOLS. 

WHILE  the  promises  to  pay  of  the  British  Govern- 
ment yield  only  three  per  cent,  interest  per  annum, 
and  the  United  States  Bonds  pay  five  per  cent., 
it  is  simply  a  mathematical  fact  that  the  latter 
are  forty  per  cent,  better  than  the  former.  With 
so  great  a  difference  in  favour  of  American  in- 
vestments, why  does  not  every  holder  of  English 
Consols  convert  them  at  once  into  American 
Bonds?  Simply  because  the  high  rate  of  interest 
implies  a  doubt  in  regard  to  the  validity  of  the 
security.  If  the  man  who  holds  £10,000  in  the 
English  Funds,  deriving  therefrom  an  income  of 
£300  a  year,  had  as  much  confidence  in  the  finan- 
cial honour  and  solvency  of  the  American  Govern- 
ment as  in  the  English,  he  would  instantly  change 
his  investment  into  American  Five  per  Cent. 
Bonds,  and  swell  his  income  to  £500  a  year,  just 
forty  per  cent,  more  than  what  he  is  now  receiv- 
ing. The  question,  then,  of  the  absolute  security 


212  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

of  American  "  Securities  "  is  one  of  the  utmost 
importance  to  all  who  are  living  on  Consols.  It 
involves  many  considerations  —  the  form  and 
stability  of  the  Government,  the  character  of  the 
people,  and  the  resources  of  the  country.  From 
the  very  first  issue  of  the  Cosmopolitan,  soon 
after  the  close  of  the  Civil  War,  we  have  con- 
stantly insisted  that  the  public  debt  of  the 
United  States  was  "  good ; "  that  the  interest 
thereon  would  be  promptly  paid  in  gold ;  that  the 
Union  of  the  States  was  assured,  at  least  for  the 
next  half  century ;  and  that  the  National  Debt, 
annually  diminishing,  might  easily  be  totally  ex- 
tinguished before  the  year  1900.  With  this  firm 
faith  in  the  stability  of  American  institutions,  in 
the  integrity  of  the  American  people,  and  in  the 
infinite  resources  of  American  industry,  applied 
to  inexhaustible  elements  of  agricultural  and 
mineral  wealth,  the  Cosmopolitan,  nine  years 
ago,  began  to  urge  upon  the  authorities  at 
Washington  the  feasibility  of  reducing  the 
interest  on  the  public  debt  from  seven  to  five 
per  cent.,  and  even  to  four.  Any  one  who  is 
curious  to  verify  this  fact  may  refer  to  the  files 
of  the  paper  in  this  office,  or  to  the  bound 
volumes  of  the  Cosmopolitan  in  the  British 
Museum.  The  result  of  these  efforts  may  be 
gathered  from  the  fact  that  the  United  States 


AMERICAN  BONDS  AND   ENGLISH  CONSOLS.      213 

Treasury  Department  lias  established  an  office 
in  London,  in  the  banking-house  of  the  Roths- 
childs, with  John  P.  Bigelow,  Esq.,  as  adminis- 
trator, for  the  purpose  of  exchanging  Five  per 
Cent.  United  States  Bonds  for  those  bearing  a 
higher  rate  of  interest,  and  for  selling  American 
Five  per  Cents,  at  the  rates  of  premium  quoted 
from  day  to  day  in  the  money  markets  of  Europe. 
When  we  estimate  the  many  millions  saved  to 
the  American  taxpayers  by  this  reduction  of 
interest,  may  not  the  Cosmopolitan  justly  in- 
dulge in  the  self-complacent  feeling  of  having 
"  done  the  State  some  service?"  The  difference 
between  six  per  cent,  and  five  per  cent,  a  year  on 
£400,000,000  is  £4,000,000,  or  20,000,000  of 
dollars.  When  the  American  Chancellor  of  the 
Exchequer  has  reduced  all  his  interest-bearing 
debt  to  five  per  cent.,  he  should  lose  no  time  in 
making  another  25  per  cent,  saving  by  the 
issue  of  Four  per  Cent.  Bonds,  which  even  then 
would  be  a  25  per  cent,  better  investment  than 
English  Consols.  The  Standard,  an  ultra-Con- 
servative, and  intensely  anti-Republican  Journal, 
in  a  recent  article  endeavours  to  frighten  capital- 
ists by  the  magnitude  of  the  American  Debt,  and 
what  it  is  pleased  to  call  "  democratic  extrava- 
gance." Taking  Mr  Elaine's  estimate  of  all  the 
National,  State,  County,  and  Municipal  obliga- 


214  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

tions,  the  Standard  chuckles  over  the  fact  that 
the  young  Republic  of  America,  not  yet  a  century 
old,  has  become  as  deeply  involved  in  debt  as  the 
ancient  Monarchy  of  England,  whose  "flag  has 
braved  a  thousand  years  the  battle  and  the  breeze." 
In  reply  to  this,  we  will  venture  the  prediction 
that,  long  before  the  Government  of  the  United 
States  is  as  old  as  England,  it  will  have  no  debt 
at  all.  In  round  numbers  the  Federal  debt  of 
America  is  £428,000,000,  of  which  £12,800,000 
has  been  spent  in  the  construction  of  the  Pacific 
Railway,  and  the  awful  balance  in  "  crushing  out 
the  Rebellion."  According  to  Mr  Elaine,  the  aggre- 
gate of  the  State  debts  amounts  to  £78,000,000, 
the  County  debts  to  £36,000,000,  and  the  Municipal 
debts  to  £114,000,000.  "And  Mr  Blaine  delibe- 
rately gives  it  as  his  opinion " — we  are  now 
quoting  the  Standard — "  that,  so  recklessly  have 
the  loans  been  contracted,  no  town  or  county 
has  received  ten  shillings'  worth  of  benefit  for 
each  pound  raised.  But,  however  that  may  be, 
we  find,  after  all  the  repudiation  that  has  been 
practised,  that  the  National  Debts  of  the  United 
States  still  amount  to  about  £508,000,000 
sterling,  while  the  local  debts  reach  at  least 
£150,000,000.  So  much  for  the  economy  of 
democratic  Government  in  less  than  a  century." 


AMERICAN  BONDS  AND  ENGLISH  CONSOLS. 

The  sarcasm  is  just.  We  have  no  disposition 
and  no  argument  to  defend  the  extravagance  or 
the  corruption  of  the  American  Government. 
At  the  same  time,  we  insist  that  the  spendthrift 
will  pay  his  debts  to  the  uttermost  farthing. 
Therefore,  we  have  no  hesitation  in  calling  the 
attention  of  capitalists  to  the  superiority  of 
American  Bonds  over  English  Consols  as  a 
permanent  investment.  As  a  general  rule  these 
investments  have  proved  gold  mines  to  Euro- 
peans. The  Rothschilds  bought  American 
securities  by  the  bushel  at  40  cents  on  the 
dollar,  and  which  now  "  stand  them  in  "  less  than 
nothing ;  while  the  great  bulk  of  United  States 
Bonds  held  in  Germany  have  been  paid  in  full 
by  ten  years'  interest.  So  that,  as  a  mere  matter 
of  figures,  if  hundreds  of  millions  of  these  Bonds 
were  repudiated  to-day,  original  holders  would 
not  lose  a  penny  by  their  investment.  In  regard 
to  the  several  State  debts,  there  is  now  a  better 
prospect  than  ever  of  their  assumption  by  the 
Federal  Government.  Great  Britain  used  to  be 
the  most  heavily  indebted  nation  of  the  world ; 
but  France,  since  her  late  war  of  1870-71, 
comes  first,  England  second,  and  the  United 
States  third.  The  figures  are  for  the  years 
1873-74  :— 


2l6  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

Aggregate  Popula-   Debt  per 

debt.  tion.        capita. 

France $4,551,200,000  36,102,921    $126 

Great  Britain    .     .     .      3,925,000,000  31,857,338       123 

United  States  .     .     .      2,230,000,000  38,558,371         57 

We  may  measure  the  burden  of  public  debt  by 
the  annual  interest  which  it  imposes  upon  the 
taxpayers.  This  is  the  method  of  comparison 
most  in  vogue  on  the  Continent  of  Europe,  and 
it  is  unquestionably  a  fairer  way  of  estimating 
it,  so  far  as  the  current  burdens  and  resources  are 
concerned,  than  that  which  looks  only  at  the 
aggregate  amount  of  the  debt.  For  it  must  be 
remembered  that  the  rate  per  cent,  of  interest 
that  is  paid,  varies  very  widely  in  different 
nations  and  upon  different  portions  of  the  same 
nation.  While  Great  Britain  pays  only  three 
per  cent,  annual  interest  on  her  vast  public 
debt  of  four  thousand  millions  of  dollars,  the 
United  States,  on  the  other  hand,  pays  rather 
more  than  five  per  cent,  on  the  larger  share  of 
her  National  Debt.  Besides,  we  must  consider, 
in  any  estimate  of  this  character,  that  some 
national  debts  (and  notably  that  of  Great 
Britain)  are  not  expected  to  be  paid,  but  to  rest 
as  a  permanent  charge  upon  the  resources  of 
the  country  and  a  method  of  investment  for  the 
capital  and  savings  of  all  classes.  Doubtless 


AMERICAN  BONDS  AND  ENGLISH  CONSOLS.      2 1/ 

a  debt  which  is  to  be  liquidated  so  as  to  reduce  it 
to  nothing  in  a  certain  or  uncertain  number  of 
years,  should  be  estimated  as  to  its  aggregate 
amount  rather  than  as  to  its  annual  charge  in 
the  shape  of  interest.  But  in  regard  to  a  debt 
which  it  is  never  destined  to  liquidate,  but  to 
continue  paying  interest  on  for  a  permanent  or 
indefinite  period,  the  interest  charge  is  the 
factor  of  most  importance  in  determining  its 
burden  upon  the  people.  A  debt  of  4,000,000,000 
dollars  at  three  per  cent,  is  less  burdensome 
than  a  debt  of  2,500,000,000  dollars  would  be 
at  five  per  cent.  A  great  political  revolu- 
tion is  in  progress,  and  the  Democratic,  Con- 
servative, specie-paying  party  are  coming  into 
power.  Then  Uncle  Sam  may  liquidate  the 
debts  of  his  thirty-seven  boys,  and  advertise  to 
all  the  world  that  "  he  will  pay  no  more  debts 
of  their  contracting."  Federal  Four  per  Cent. 
Bonds  of  about  £80,000,000  will  wipe  out  all 
these  State  obligations,  which  would  be  worth 
more  than  a  thousand  millions  to  American 
credit  in  Europe.  What  an  era  of  good  feeling 
such  a  magnanimous  policy  would  inaugurate  I 


2l8  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 


STOCK  EXCHANGE   GAMBLERS. 

SWINDLING  on  the  Stock  Exchange  has  become  a 
science,  and  men  engaged  in  "Bulling"  and 
"  Bearing  "  rascalities  are  considered  respectable. 
They  live  in  fine  houses,  keep  costly  carriages, 
own  pews  in  fashionable  churches,  mumble  ortho- 
dox creeds,  and  confess  themselves  "  miserable 
sinners,"  which  means  that  they  regard  them- 
selves as  the  saints  of  the  Lord,  born  to  "  inherit 
the  earth."  It  is  about  time  that  these  respect- 
able criminals  should  be  exposed  and  held  up 
to  the  public  infamy  they  so  richly  merit.  The 
propensity  to  gamble  is  an  inherent  attribute  of 
human  nature  ;  and  in  no  country  of  the  world  is 
the  gambling  passion  more  fully  developed  than 
in  England.  Parliament  adjourns  on  the  Derby 
Day,  the  great  national  holiday  devoted  to 
gambling  on  horse-speed.  But  England,  with 
hypocritical  inconsistency,  will  not  license  a 
gambling  house,  nor  permit  a  penny  toss-up  in 
the  streets,  or  a  bet  for  a  "  bob  "  in  a  public- 


STOCK  EXCHANGE   GAMBLERS.  2IQ 

house,  although  "  gentlemen "  may  bet  their 
fortunes  at  Tattersall's  or  at  the  Clubs.  In  view 
of  the  lying  and  cheating  of  the  Stock  Exchange, 
in  which  thousands  of  "  respectable  "  men,  in- 
cluding parsons,  are  daily  engaged,  the  Cosmo- 
politan has  the  courage  to  "  take  the  Bull  by  the 
horns,"  and  the  Bear  by  the  tail,  and  denounce 
this  public  gambling  as  the  greatest  of  public 
crimes.  Better  go  to  Monaco  or  Fontarabia,  and 
sit  down  in  an  elegant  room,  in  the  company  of 
well-dressed  and  well-mannered  people  of  both 
sexes,  and  risk  money  on  the  turn  of  the  roulette 
or  the  colour  of  rouge-et-noir.  It  is  infinitely 
more  pleasant,  more  honest,  and  should  be  con- 
sidered more  respectable,  than  the  "  cut-throat 
game "  of  the  Stock  Exchange.  The  most 
criminal  feature  of  Stock  gambling  is  the 
"  selling  short "  system — that  is,  selling  what 
one  does  not  possess  ;  and,  in  order  to  get  hold 
of  the  article  cheap,  lying  becomes  a  science. 
These  "  Bears,"  who  stick  at  nothing  to  depress 
the  quotation  of  the  shares  they  wish  to  buy, 
might  as  well  sell  a  man's  house,  or  his  horses, 
"  short"  as  his  shares  in  a  mine  or  railway.  In 
either  case  the  property  must  be  depreciated  by 
false  reports.  Until  Parliament  passes  a  law 
prohibiting  this  iniquity,  we  see  no  remedy  for  it. 
And  Parliament  is  not  likely  to  pass  any  such 


22O  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

wholesome  law,  as  the  majority  of  the  members 
are  up  to  their  lips  in  Stock  "  transactions."  As 
long  ago  as  1732,  the  evils  of  "time  bargains" 
had  become  so  manifold,  that  an  Act,  known  as 
Sir  John  Bernard's  Act,  was  passed,  rendering 
all  such  bargains  illegal,  and  enacting  that 
every  contract  for  the  purchase  and  sale  of 
stock  which  was  not  made  bond  fide  for  that 
purpose,  but  was  made  as  a  speculation  on  the 
fluctuation  of  the  market,  was  void,  and  all 
parties  entering  into  the  same  were  liable  to  a 
penalty  of  £500  for  each  transaction.  This  Act 
was,  however,  shortly  afterwards  repealed.  The 
Stock  Exchange,  like  the  Bank  of  England, 
owes  its  origin  to  the  embarrassments  of  the 
Government  shortly  after  the  Revolution  of  1688, 
and  grew  out  of  the  practice  of  hawking  the 
Government  securities  at  various  rates  of  discount 
in  Change  Alley.  This  gave  rise  to  "  stock- 
jobbing," which  gradually  became  so  thriving, 
that  it  required  a  settled  place  of  business, 
whither  those  who  were  occupied  in  it  might 
resort.  From  Change  Alley  the  fraternity  re- 
moved in  1773  to  Sweeting's  Alley,  where  a  room 
was  engaged,  which  was  called  the  tf  Stock 
Exchange,"  in  which  any  man  might  transact 
his  business  upon  payment  of  the  sum  of  six- 
pence. But  the  National  Debt  grew  steadily, 


STOCK  EXCHANGE    GAMBLERS.  221 

other    Stocks    increased,    and    the    business    of 
stockbrokers  was  proportionately  augmented.     At 
length,  in  May  1800,  the  foundation-stone  of  the 
first  Stock  Exchange  was  laid    in  Capel  Court, 
where  formerly  had  stood  the  residence  of  William 
Capel,  Lord  Mayor  of  London.     From  this  time 
none  have  been  admitted  but  members,  who  are 
elected  by  ballot,  and  pay  an  annual  subscription 
of  ten  guineas.     The  members  do  not  constitute 
a  corporation  of  a  joint-stock  company,  but  form 
a  voluntary  association  consisting  of  brokers  and 
jobbers.     The  brokers  act  as  agents  for  the  purchase 
and  sale  of   securities   for  the  public,  while   the 
jobbers  buy  and  sell  on  their  own  account.     Recent 
developments  in  the  City,  and  notably  the  Abbott- 
Labouchere  fracas,  and  the  "Eupion  Fuel  Fraud," 
are  directing  public  attention  to  the  enormity  of 
Stock  Exchange  crimes  ;  but  the  press  treats  the 
matter  gingerly.     One  of  the   proprietors  of  the 
Daily  News,  a  large  "  operator  for  a  fall  "  or  for 
"  a  rise,"   who  swore  before  the  Lord  Mayor  that 
he  did  not  know  the  meaning  of  the  word  "  Bear," 
doubtless    "  inspires "   the  money  articles   of  his 
own  newspaper.     Hence  these  articles,  written  in 
the  interest  of  an  interested  party,  can  have  no 
value  to  the  public.     And  this  is  but  one  specimen 
of  Stock  Exchange  journalism.      "  City  Editors  " 
all  get  rich,  and,  Sampson-like,  retire  to  elegant 


222  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

country  seats  to  spend  the  "  contingent  remainder" 
of  their  successful  lives.  We  heard  a  conspicuous 
Stock  Exchange  broker  declare  the  other  day  that 
he  would  pay  the  "  City  Editor "  of  the  Times 
£3000  a  year  to  dine  with  him  once  a  week,  and  to 
have  the  fact  generally  known  in  the  City.  Again 
we  advise  all  honest  "  speculators,"  desirous  of 
11  tempting  fortune,"  to  quit  the  Stock  Exchange 
"  Hell"  and  pack  off  to  Fontarabia,  where,  com- 
fortably seated  before  the  tapis  vert  of  M.  Du- 
pressoir,  they  may  pocket  their  gains  and  losses 
with  the  satisfaction  of  knowing  that,  whichever 
way  the  "luck"  may  run,  there  is  no  lying  or 
"cheating  around  the  board." 


MONEY,   BRAINS,   AND  MANNERS.  22 3 


MONEY,  BRAINS,  AND  MANNERS. 

"  SOME  people  has  plenty  money  and  no  brains, 
and  some  people  has  plenty  brains  and  no  money." 
Such  was  the  shrewd  reflection  and  execrable 
grammar  of  the  vagabond  butcher  when  medita- 
ting the  most  impudent  fraud  the  world  has  ever 
witnessed.  It  suggests,  however,  the  recogni- 
tion of  an  universal  fact,  of  which  we  are  constantly 
reminded  —  plenty  of  brains  and  no  money, 
plenty  of  money  and  no  brains.  The  union  of 
these  two  excellent  commodities  are  but  the  rare 
exceptions.  We  know  that  men  who  have  suddenly 
acquired  or  tumbled  into  wealth  are  apt  to  flatter 
themselves  that  "  brains  has  done  it."  On  the 
contrary,  in  nine  cases  out  of  ten,  the  lack  of 
brains  may  have  done  it.  Men  of  large  intellect, 
the  immaterial  product  of  brains,  are  generally 
occupied  in  the  pursuit  of  something  better  than 
mere  riches.  With  their  eyes  on  the  stars,  they 
do  not  see  the  pennies  to  be  picked  up  at  their 
feet.  The  greatest  men  of  all  ages  have  been 


224  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

proverbially  the  poorest  men,  while  the  Christian 
apotheosis  of  humanity  was  a  houseless,  homeless 
pauper,  who  "  had  not  where  to  lay  His  head." 
Far  be  it  from  us  to  deprecate  the  possession  of 
wealth.  Money  is  a  very  convenient  thing  to  have 
in  the  house,  and  fortunate  is  he  who  has  never 
touched,  and  never  fears  to  touch,  his  "  bottom 
dollar."  And  yet  there  are  many  men  with  un- 
limited fortunes  and  very  limited  brains,  who 
make  mere  wealth  offensive  by  the  "  airs "  they 
take  in  consequence  of  its  possession.  A  vulgar, 
purse-proud  man  or  woman  is  one  of  the 
most  contemptible  nuisances  in  existence.  In 
themselves  absolutely  nothing,  they  assume  enor- 
mous consequence  from  the  fortuitous  accident  of 
a  large  bank -account.  Ill-boru,  ill-bred,  ill- 
mannered,  and  ill-looking,  they  swell  to  bursting 
on  the  possession  of  an  adventitious  attribute  which 
"  perishes  in  the  using."  How  many  of  these 
empty-headed,  plethoric  purses  are  met  in  society  as 
"  honoured  guests,"  where,  stripped  of  wealth,  they 
would  not  be  accepted  as  servants  !  Let  us  "  point 
our  moral "  with  an  anecdote  in  illustration  of 
vulgar  wealth.  At  one  of  our  West  End  hotels 
there  arrived  a  few  days  since  a  certain  American 
lady,  who  demanded  a  room  with  an  air  that 
smacked  of  "  sovereignty."  The  manager  replied 
that  the  hotel  was  full  to  overflowing.  "  But  I 


MONEY,   BRAINS,   AND  MANNERS.  22$ 

will    have    a    room/'    shouted    Madame    Shoddy. 
Somewhat  startled  by  the  emphasis    with   which 
this    declaration  was    uttered,  the  manager    said 
he  had  only  one    parlour    unoccupied,  and    that 
belonged  to   a   gentleman  who  would  be  out  of 
town  for  a  few  days.     If  the  lady  would  take  it 
on  the  condition  of  giving  it  up  when  the  gentle- 
man returned,  she  might  do  so.     The  room  was 
accepted.      A  few  days  afterwards    Mr   X.,  who 
had  occupied  the  apartments  for  more   than  two 
years,  returned,  and,  on  going  to  his  parlour,  found 
Madame  in  possession,  who,  with  a  grand  imperi- 
ous air,  forbade  his  entrance.     But,  Madame,"  the 
gentleman  remonstrated,   "  there   must   be   some 
mistake,  these  rooms  are  mine ;  you  will   see   my 
monogram  on  all   the   books  and  pictures,  and  I 
have  occupied  them  for  more  than  two  years."     "  I 
don't    care    if   you   have   occupied    them    eighty 
years,"   said  her  ladyship.     "  My  husband  is  the 
richest  man  in  New  York  ;  and  if  he  were  here,  he 
would  kick  you  across  the  street !  "    The  gentleman 
beat  a  hasty  retreat  in   search  of  the   manager, 
who  came  and  politely  reminded  the  irate  woman 
of  the  conditions  on  which  she  was  permitted  to 
occupy  the  apartments — only  until  the  return  of 
Mr  X.     "You  lie!"   shrieked  Madame,  and  the 
curtain  fell.     But  the  rightful  "  claimant "  was 
soon  in   possession.     Is   it  any  wonder  that  the 

p 


226  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

snobocracy  of  America  get  sometimes  severely  cri- 
ticised in  Europe,  and  that  money  minus  brains 
makes  the  vulgar  millionaire  a  nuisance  ?  On 
the  other  hand,  money  and  brains,  with  a  little 
love  and  beauty  thrown  in,  make  the  most  bliss- 
fdl  of  all  marriages. 


THE   BIRD.  227 


THE   BIRD. 

THIS  is  the  simple,  yet  comprehensive,  title  of  a 
great  work  on  ornithology,  by  Jules  Michelet.  It 
is  beautifully  written,  delicately  and  artistically 
illustrated,  and  altogether  it  is  one  of  the  most 
charming  books,  not  only  of  "  the  season,"  but 
for  all  seasons,  that  we  have  ever  read.  No  one 
can  close  this  thoughtful  volume  without  being  in 
love  with  the  darling  little  birds,  and  Him  who 
made  them.  Michelet  devoutly  believes  that 
birds  have  souls,  and,  after  carefully  considering 
all  his  arguments,  observations,  and  anecdotes,  we 
are  not  disposed  to  dispute  the  theory,  but  shall 
henceforth  regard  every  little  bird  we  see  on  the 
earth  or  in  the  air  as  a  winged  thought.  Birds 
certainly  love,  and  plan,  and  reason.  They  also 
"have  a  language  of  their  own,  and  communicate 
ideas  and  emotions  to  each  other.  As  builders 
of  nests,  or  homes  in  which  to  rear  their  young, 
the  birds  are  unsurpassed  in  ingenuity  even  by 
man.  With  nothing  but  claw  and  beak  and 


228  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

breast  to  procure  materials  and  shape  their  little 
cradles,  the  nest  of  the  "  humming-bird,"  for 
instance,  is  a  marvellous  piece  of  architecture ; 
and  so  is  the  woodpecker's  a  work  both  of  archi- 
tecture and  sculpture.  And  when  it  comes  to 
music,  no  human  prima  donna  has  ever  yet 
equalled  the  rich,  voluptuous,  and  varied  song  of 
the  nightingale.  We  deliberately  use  the  word 
varied,  as  the  miraculous  music  of  this  "  soul  of 
melody  "  is  never  the  same,  but  an  infinite  varia- 
tion and  amplification  on  the  eternal  theme  of 
Love,  which  we  take  to  be  the  keynote  of  creation. 
The  highest  compliment  ever  paid  to  a  great 
singer  is  to  call  her  a  "  nightingale."  It  made 
one  celebrated  Italian  cantatrice  weep  to  be  thus 
saluted  by  the  peasants  of  Russia.  In  teaching 
their  little  ones  first  to  fly  and  then  to  sing,  the 
bird  exhibits  something  more  than  what  we  vaguely 
call  instinct.  The  patient  lessons  are  given  by 
"  precept  and  example  too."  In  the  East,  young 
nightingales,  tamed,  are  taken  to  a  regular  sing- 
ing-school, and  placed  in  a  room  where  a  famous 
old  singer  gives  them  practical  lessons,  and  his 
attentive  little  pupils  soon  become  experts.  But 
why  does  this  strange  bird,  of  unattractive  form 
and  plumage,  sing  in  the  night  ?  Is  not  the  day 
long  enough  to  exhaust  the  flood  of  melody  that 
swells  in  his  little  bosom,  aching  with  joyful  pain 


THE   BIRD.  229 

or  painful  joy  ?  The  lark,  that  "  singing  up  to 
heaven's  gate  ascends,"  bursts  into  music  at  the 
first  touch  of  light,  and  never  utters  a  note  in 
darkness.  But  the  dear  little 

"  Nightingale,  that  all  day  long 
Has  cheered  the  village  with  his  song  ; 
Nor  yet  at  eve  his  note  suspended, 
Nor  yet  when  eventide  is  ended," 

makes  even  midnight  darkness  seem  luminous 
with  the  gushing  melody  of  his  sweet-toned 
music.  Is  it  joy  or  sorrow  that  inspires  the  lay  ? 
Sometimes  it  makes  us  weep,  sometimes  it  makes 
us  glad;  but  that  depends  not  so  much  on  the 
tones  of  the  singer  as  on  the  mood  of  the  listener. 
11  There's  not  a  bonnie  bird  that  sings,"  says 
Burns,  "but  minds  me  o'  my  Jean  ;"  and  not 
only  the  soul-entrancing  music  of  the  nightingale, 
but  the  "  home-notes "  of  all  other  birds  are 
fraught  with  plaintive  associations.  The  short, 
sharp  notes  of  the  swallow  that  twittered  under 
the  eaves  of  the  old  homestead;  the  mournful 
repetitions  of  the  robin  that  sang  and  rocked  on 
the  willow  that  wept  over  a  mother's  grave — we 
can  never  hear  these  touching  tones  in  any  land, 
or  under  any  circumstances,  without  a  momentary 
moistening  of  the  eyes,  and  a  wish  that  we  too 
had  wings  to  fly  away  from  the  approaching 


23O  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

winter,  and  be  at  rest.  Thank  God,  since  the 
age  of  thirteen  we  have  never  killed  a  bird  but 
once,  and  that  was  a  duck  for  dinner.  And  we 
wish  all  our  little  brother  and  sister  birds  to  know 
the  fact ! 


LIFE   AMONG    THE   MO  DOCS.  2$  I 


LIFE  AMONG    THE  MODOCS. 

"  LONELY  as  God,  and  white  as  a  winter  moon, 
Mount  Shasta  starts  up  sudden  and  solitary  from 
the  heart  of  the  great  black  forests  of  Northern 
California."  With  this  lofty  sentence,  the  key- 
note of  a  prose  poem,  well  sustained  to  the  end? 
Joaquin  Miller  opens  his  "  Life  Among  the  Mo- 
docs,"  the  author  of  which  will  not  only  be  known 
hereafter  as  the  "  Poet  of  the  Sierras,"  but  as  the 
friend  of  the  Red  Man,  as  the  noble  old  Indian 
Chief  Logan  is  known  as  "  the  friend  of  the  "White 
Man."  The  book  is  fitly  dedicated  to  the  Red 
Men,  and  we  do  not  hesitate  to  pronounce  it  the 
best  work  on  the  North  American  Indians  ever 
written.  The  author  lived  among  them,  loved 
them,  and  understands  them  better  than  any 
"pale  face"  who  has  ever  abused  or  defended 
them.  Near  the  close  of  the  volume  we  find  this 
solemn  sentence — "  When  I  die,  I  shall  take  this 
book  in  my  hand,  and  hold  it  up  in  the  Day  of 
Judgment  as  a  sworn  indictment  against  the  rulers 


232  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES, 

of  my  country  for  the  destruction  of  these  people." 
Miller  evidently  differs  from  Bret  Harte,  who  de- 
clares that  "  Injins  is  pisin."  Great  injustice  has 
always  teen  done  to  these  aboriginal  tribes.  Neither 
Cooper's  pen  nor  Catlin's  pencil  has  depicted 
the  "  noble  savage  "  as  he  was  and  is  before  his 
contact  with  the  White  Men,  before  his  demorali- 
sation by  fire-water  and  missionaries.  From  the 
day  that  brave  Old  Samoset  shouted  "  "Welcome 
Englishmen  !  "  on  the  Hill  of  Plymouth,  the  poor 
Indian  has  been  the  prey  of  Anglo-Saxon  cupidity. 
Few  figures  in  history  stand  out  grander  or  nobler 
than  that  of  King  Philip  of  the  Narragansetts, 
who  fought  so  bravely  and  died  so  gloriously  on 
Mount  Hope,  in  Rhode  Island,  where  his  ancestors 
had  reigned  for  thousands  of  years.  But  no  sooner 
is  the  Indian  touched  by  civilisation  than  he  imbibes 
all  its  vices  and  loses  all  his  virtues.  Originally 
he  is  proud,  brave,  and  just.  He  will  not  turn 
on  his  heel  to  save  his  life,  nor  tell  a  lie  to  save 
his  empire.  But  having  been  once  tricked,  cheated, 
and  betrayed  by  his  pale-faced  enemies,  he  cheats 
and  betrays  in  his  turn,  although  he  is  no  match 
for  the  subtleties  of  Christian  treachery,  for  men 
with  whom  trade  is  a  swindle  and  deception  a  life- 
long profession.  In  this  "  Life  "  by.  Miller,  who 
has  penetrated  farther  into  the  interior  of  Indian 
character,  customs,  and  history  than  any  other 


LIFE   AMONG    THE   MODOCS.  233 

author  we  know,  we  have  quite  a  new  picture  of 
the  "  noble  savage  "  in  his  primeval  home — pictures 
of  Red  Men  who  have  never  seen  a  missionary, 
never  tasted  fire-water,  never  learned  to  lie.  And 
these  are  very  unlike  those  miserable  wretches 
lounging  on  the  borders  of  civilisation,  so  graphi- 
cally described  by  Train  in  his  famous  parody  on 
the  Pawnees,  who,  when  they  get  a  pair  of  old 
breeches,  cut  the  bottom  out  and  mount  them — 

"  Lo,  the  poor  Indian,  whose  untutored  mind, 
Clothes  him  before,  and  leaves  him  bare  behind  !  " 

These  are  the  "  noble  specimens  "  of  the  vanishing 
Red  Race  one  sees  from  the  car-window  all  along 
the  line  of  the  far  Western  Railways  ;  but  they  are 
very  unlike  those  majestic  "  lords  of  the  soil " 
who  live  under  the  shadows  and  ever-changing 
glories  of  Mount  Shasta.  But  of  all  this  there  is 
a  treat  in  store  for  the  readers  of  this  great  book. 
While  we  have  no  reason  to  doubt  the  author's 
facts,  and  quite  agree  in  his  conclusions,  we  can- 
not shut  our  eyes  to  the  poetic  glamour  and  romance 
which  illumines  every  sentence  and  magnifies  every 
act.  His  heroes  are — himself,  "  the  Prince,"  and 
a  beautiful  young  Indian  girl — Paquita.  As  for 
"  the  Prince  " — Colonel  James  Thomas — who  hap- 
pens at  this  moment  to  be  in  London,  the  author 
is  absolutely  in  love  with  him  ;  and  if  there  is  no 
exaggeration  in  the  good  deeds  attributed  to  him, 


234  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

"  the  Prince"  is  indeed  a  rare  fellow,  and  worthy 
of  all  admiration.  We  can  only  say,  from  per- 
sonal acquaintance,  that  his  appearance  is  "a 
combination  and  a  form  "  to  make  women  mad  and 
men  jealous ;  and  his,  also,  is  a  character,  as  they 
say  out  in  those  wild  "  diggins,"  to  tie  up  to. 
There  is  another  character  in  the  book,  "  a  nearer 
and  a  dearer  one,"  about  which  the  author  says 
but  little.  "  Communication  is  sometimes  blas- 
phemy ;  "  but  he  opens  his  heart  just  enough  to 
let  us  see  what  and  whose  child  occupies  it — the 
beautiful  half-breed  girl  now  at  school  in  San 
Francisco,  learning  catechism  and  coquetry  among 
her  White  sisters.  No  doubt  Tennyson's  lines 
had  something  to  do  with  Joaquin  Miller's  flight 
into  the  wilderness — 

K I  will  take  some  savage  woman  ; 
She  shall  rear  my  dusky  race." 

This  book  is  making  a  great  sensation  in  England, 
and  will  have  a  wide  sale,  even  at  16s.  a  copy.  It 
is  elegantly  issued  by  Bentley,  and  is  already  iii 
the  hands  of  all  the  dukes  and  duchesses  in  the 
United  Kingdom.  It  has  given  us  one  pleasant 
Sabbath,  even  in  the  dreary  solitude  of  a  London 
hotel.  We  advise  everybody  to  read  it.  Nothing 
fresher  or  more  vigorous  has  yet  appeared  from  the 
American  wilderness.  It  makes  a  modern  "  society 
novel "  seem  impertinent. 


DISPOSAL   OF  DEAD  BODIES.  235 


DISPOSAL   OF  DEAD  BODIES. 

THERE  is  a  widespread  agitation  going  on  just  now 
as  to  the  wisest  mode  of  disposing  of  dead  bodies. 
Sir  Henry  Thompson's  recent  articles  on  the  sub- 
ject have  excited  a  profound,  and,  we  may  add, 
a  painful  interest ;  for,  to  the  least  sentimental 
mind,  either  the  burying  or  the  burning  of  human 
corpses  is  a  matter  of  the  saddest  reflection. 
Hard  as  it  is,  we  must  treat  the  question  purely  as 
a  sanitary  and  economical  one.  The  eye  of  the 
living  must  not  linger  on  the  body  of  the  dead, 
nor  imagination  follow  the  slow  and  ghastly 
changes  of  the  tomb.  We  turn  away  from  the 
grave  of  a  dear  friend  with  a  sigh  and  a  shudder, 
resolved  only  to  recall  the  form  and  features  of 
the  dead  as  they  appeared  when  warm  with  life 
and  radiant  with  love.  And  thus  departed  friends 
become  sacred  and  immortal  memories  ;  and  the 
longer  we  live,  the  richer  is  our  mental  picture  gallery. 
As  it  matters  not  to  the  insensate  body  whether  it 
is  quickly  reduced  to  a  handful  of  ashes,  or  buried 


236  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

beneath  the  ground,  to  "  lie  in  cold  obstruction  and 
to  rot "  for  years  and  ages,  it  is  the  duty  of  society 
to  consider  only  two  things  in  disposing  of  it.  The 
first  is  a  question  of  public  health,  and  the  other  one 
of  mere  economy  in  time  and  money.  On  these 
grounds  the  argument  is  all  on  the  side  of  Cre- 
mation. Graveyards  are  not  pleasant  to  look  at 
as  landscapes,  nor  to  contemplate  as  receptacles 
of  corruption.  There  can  be  no  doubt  that  deadly 
gases,  escaping  from  shallow  graves,  have  often 
bred  miasmatic  fevers.  Again,  the  cost  of  burial  is 
a  serious  item  in  domestic  expenditure,  especially 
as  extravagance  in  coffins  keeps  pace  with  extrava- 
gance in  everything  else,  and  that,  too,  with  the 
least  possible  excuse  for  such  ironical  ostentation. 
"We  cannot  blame  a  man  for  liking  to  live  in  a 
fine  house,  to  ride  in  a  comfortable  carriage,  and 
to  wear  nice  clothes ;  but  the  money  invested  on 
silver-nailed  and  gold-plated  coffins  is  not  only  a 
piece  of  wanton  extravagance,  but  a  dead  loss  to 
the  world.  Therefore,  on  the  score  of  economy, 
funerals,  coffins,  and  graveyards  should  be  abolished. 
Of  course  the  great  army  of  undertakers  will  fight 
hard  against  the  innovation,  and  black  plumes  and 
professional  "  weepers  "  will  be  at  a  discount.  In 
fact,  these  useless,  not  to  say  odious,  pageants 
have  been  going  down  ever  since  Charles  Dickens 
held  them  up  to  public  ridicule.  They  encumber 


DISPOSAL    OF  DEAD   BODIES. 

the  streets  with  their  sable  omnibuses  that  never 
bring  a  passenger  back,  and  are  altogether  hideous. 
Cremation  will  do  away  with  all  these  useless  and 
unsightly  spectacles.  And  then  the  land  in  all 
large  cities,  always  increasing  in  value,  can  be 
put  to  much  better  use  than  by  fencing  it  off  into 
graveyards,  where  Dives  competes  with  Dives  in 
the  costliness  of  his  monument  and  the  falsehood 
of  its  inscription.  Besides,  if  the  Earth  we  in- 
habit should  last  50,000  or  100,000  years  longer, 
it  will  become  one  huge  and  pestilential  graveyard, 
and  there  will  be  no  living  in  it,  while  all  the 
riches  of  the  planet  will  be  invested  in  coffins  and 
tombstones  !  But  this  is  a  consideration  not 
directly  interesting  to  the  present  generation,  and 
only  remotely  concerns  posterity ;  and  posterity, 
always  equal  to  the  occasion,  will,  doubtless,  take 
care  of  itself.  In  the  meantime,  there  is  a  burning- 
fever  to  be  burnt  simultaneously  raging  in  London, 
Paris,  and  New  York.  In  the  latter  city  a  public 
meeting  has  been  held,  a  Cremation  Society  orga- 
nised, and  candidates  are  sending  in  their  names 
as  being  desirous  of  post-mortem  submission  to  the 
crucible.  Various  inventions  are  coming  forward 
as  the  quickest  and  cheapest  means  of  reducing 
corpses  to  ashes,  and  we  are  daily  expecting  to 
hear  of  furnaces  in  full  operation.  Urns  will  also 
be  in  great  demand  for  preserving  the  sacred 


238  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

cinders.  Each  family,  perhaps,  may  want  a  pat- 
tern of  its  own,  with  the  customary  coat  of  arms. 
There  is  some  danger  of  a  little  extravagance  in 
this  business.  Probably  a  glass  vessel,  without 
orifice,  on  which  an  epitaph  could  be  neatly  en- 
graved, would  be  the  best  receptacle  for  the  ashes. 
These  relics  could  be  kept  in  the  sanctum  sanctorum 
of  the  household  ;  and  when  families  emigrate  to 
distant  lands,  there  would  be  no  more  lamenting, 
on  leaving  the  "  graves  of  their  ancestors  " — 

"  And  where  our  fathers'  ashes  be 
Our  own  may  never  lie." 

This  is  one  of  the  saddest  wails  in  Byron's  "Hebrew 
Melodies."  Cremation  will  spare  the  future  all 
such  heart-rending  reflections.  The  modus  operandi 
of  burning  the  dead  we  will  not  describe  to-day. 
The  subject  opens  a  new  field  for  scientific  inves- 
tigation, and  changes  the  occupation  of  gravedigger 
to  fireman.  But  no  human  eye  should  ever  be 
permitted  to  look  into  the  oven  during  the  trans- 
formation of  the  corpse  into  ashes. 


CHURCH  AND    THEATRE.  239 


CHURCH  AND  THE  A  TRE. 

THE  Theatres  of  London  are  very  crowded ;  the 
Churches  are  very  thin.  In  the  latter,  people 
often  go  asleep  ;  in  the  former,  seldom.  Theatres 
are  open  six  nights  in  the  week;  Churches  one 
day  in  seven.  Admission  to  the  Church  is  free ; 
to  .the  Theatre  one  has  to  pay  more  or  less  to 
enter.  It  is  calculated  that  about  50,000  per- 
sons nightly  attend  the  London  theatres  during 
nine  months  in  the  year.  From  these  facts  we 
infer  that  the  public  like  the  Theatre  better 
than  the  Church.  And  yet  Religion,  to  which 
the  Church  is"  dedicated,  is  a  universal  instinct, 
almost  as  strong  as  the  sentiment  of  love.  How, 
then,  shall  we  account  for  this  popular  apathy, 
this  general  indifference  to  the  Church  ?  Our 
answer  is,  that  the  Religion  to  which  the  Church 
ministers  is  a  sham  Religion,  a  counterfeit,  which 
the  common  instinct  of  humanity  rejects,  as 
naturally  and  as  wisely  as  the  palate  rejects  in- 


240  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

jurious  food.  The  Established  Church  is  an 
arbitrary  institution.  It  has  not  life  enough  in 
itself  to  go  alone.  The  Church  of  England  has 
become  a  soft  asylum  for  dainty  Sybarites.  Look 
at  your  luxurious  Archbishop  in  palace  and  purple, 
with  his  £10,000  a  year.  Then  think  of  the 
character  and  career  of  the  poor  Carpenter's  Sou, 
the  humble  plebeian,  the  meek  and  lowly  Jesus, 
who  had  not  where  to  lay  His  head !  The  State 
assesses  a  tax  to  support  the  Church,  and  the 
people  pay  because  they  must.  Going  to  Church 
is  enforced  by  the  priests,  who  live  sumptuously 
by  pleading  for  the  subsidised  Establishment  as 
"  a  duty."  Some  obey  the  mandate  through  fear, 
others  because  it  is  deemed  respectable  or  fashion- 
able, and  others  still  from  even  less  worthy 
motives — to  exhibit  their  vanities  in  the  shape  of 
fine  dresses  and  grand  equipages.  They  do  not  go 
to  the  Church  for  instruction,  as  they  always  hear 
the  "same  old  story;  "  nor  for  amusement  and 
distraction,  as  to  the  Theatre.  No  doubt  many 
"  miserable  sinners "  endeavour  to  soothe  their 
consciences  by  trying  to  believe  that  by  going  to 
Church  they  have  "  done  a  duty,"  atoned  for 
some  sin,  or  made  themselves  or  somebody  else 
better.  But  no  logical  mind  can  ever  be  the 
victim  of  such  childish  delusions.  Church-going 


CHURCH  AND    THEATRE.  2^.1 

is  not  religion — it  is  not  even  morality.  On  the 
contrary,  as  a  general  rule,  it  is  "  the  Devil's  pet 
sin — hypocrisy."  Your  inveterate  modern  Church- 
goer, who  prides  himself  on  his  "regular  attend- 
ance on  the  services  of  the  sanctuary,"  is  generally 
the  very  counterpart  of  the  Pharisee  of  old,  who 
"  loved  to  pray  standing  in  the  synagogues,  and 
at  the  corners  of  the  streets,  to  be  seen  of  men." 
In  nine  cases  out  of  ten,  you  will  find  him  flint- 
hearted,  close-fisted,  and  self-righteous  "  overmuch." 
And  yet  the  poor  people,  the  toiling  masses,  to 
whom  poverty  has  made  life  but  a  pilgrimage  of 
penance,  are  compelled  to  pay  a  large  percentage 
of  their  earnings  to  support  an  Establishment  for 
the  benefit  of  parasites  and  hypocrites !  Jesus 
of  Nazareth  taught  no  such  Religion  as  this.  The 
founder  of  Christianity  was  neither  Pope,  Bishop, 
nor  Priest,  and  enjoyed  none  of  the  "  fat  livings  " 
of  these  pampered  minions  of  the  Church.  He 
gloried  in  penury,  and  never  would  have  eaten  a 
full  meal  while  his  poor  brother  had  none,  nor 
have  possessed  two  suits  of  clothes  while  another 
went  naked.  Such  is  the  humane  and  holy 
religion  of  Christianity,  and  it  requires  no  puffs 
of  the  priesthood,  no  bellows-blowing  of  the 
Church,  to  fan  the  sacred  flame.  Taxing  the 
people  to  support  Religion  is  like  pinching  a 


242  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

woman  to  make  her  love  you.  The  sentiments  of 
the  human  heart  are  not  to  be  forced,  neither 
towards  God  nor  towards  man.  No  offering  is 
acceptable  that  is  not  spontaneous.  Instead  of 
incense,  it  is  simply  an  insult.  Shock  as  it  may 
the  hirelings  of  the  Establishment,  we  respectfully 
suggest  that  all  Churches  should  be  converted  into 
Academies,  and  all  priests  into  schoolmasters  and 
nurses,  with  salaries,  just  sufficient  to  feed  them 
wholesomely  and  clothe  them  comfortably.  Then 
they  might  with  some  consistency  call  themselves 
the  "  followers  of  Christ."  Now  they  only  insult 
the  name  by  such  false  pretensions.  In  the  mean- 
time, we  venture  to  remark,  that  Temple-building 
is  a  relic  of  heathendom.  The  time  for  erecting  • 
monuments  to  the  gods  is  past.  All  we  want  now 
is  the  school-house,  the  lecture-room,  the  laboratory 
of  science;  and,  we  will  add,  the  Theatre.  Yes, 
the  much-abused  Theatre — abused  both  by  its 
friends  and  by  its  foes,  although  in  different 
senses  of  the  word.  As  an  institution  of  instruc- 
tion and  amusement,  the  Theatre  is  sadly  abused. 
It  is  far  below  what  it  might  be  and  should  be ; 
and  yet  it  must  be  regarded  as  one  of  the 
amenities  of  society,  one  of  the  blessings  of  social 
life.  Many  a  weary  heart  and  overworked  brain 
finds  distraction  and  consolation  in  the  mimic 


CHURCH  AND    THEATRE.  243 

drama  of  the  stage.     In  the  simulated  sorrows  of 
others,  we,  for  the  moment,  forget  our  own— 

"  When  by  the  mighty  actor  wrought 
Illusion's  perfect  triumphs  come, 
Verse  ceases  to  be  airy  thought, 
And  sculpture  to  be  dumb." 


244  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES, 


THE  SOLAR  SYSTEM  A  SUCCESS. 

WE  have  heard  chronic  grumblers  grumble  at 
almost  everything,  but  we  have  never  yet  heard  the 
shallowest  atheist  or  the  sourest  cynic  find  fault 
with  the  Solar  System.  None  of  all  these  human 
growlers  and  grunters,  who  are  never  satisfied  with 
the  weather,  or  with  anything  else,  unless,  perhaps, 
in  the  midst  of  some  gluttonous  enjoyment,  dares 
to  impeach  the  economy,  the  accuracy,  the  noise- 
lessness,  and  the  beauty  of  the  grand  machine  we 
call  the  Universe,  or  to  impeach  the  skill  and  the 
power  of  the  Great  Engineer  who  "  runs  "  it.  All 
the  movements  of  the  heavenly  bodies  "  come  to 
time,"  thus  proving  the  Solar  System  to  be  a  sys- 
tem of  pure  mathematics,  while  the  revolutions  of 
planets,  stars,  and  suns  accord  with  musical  ex- 
actness. That  the  "  morning  stars  sing  together" 
is  something  more  than  a  figure  of  speech.  Since 
Time  began  there  has  not  been  a  collision,  a  jar, 
a  discord  among  all  the  "  heavenly  hosts  "  that 
pay  allegiance  to  our  "  Sun,"  nor  among  all  the 


THE   SOLAR  SYSTEM  A   SUCCESS.  245 

countless  suns  or  stars  that  revolve  in  silent  har- 
mony around  a  still  grander  central  orb.  Truly 
it  has  been  said,  "  An  undevout  astronomer  is 
mad !  "  And  yet,  in  the  face  of  all  this  infinite 
grandeur,  ineffable  beauty,  and  everlasting  bene- 
ficence, we  hear  of  atheism  and  of  atheists  !  The 
idol  philosopher  of  England,  John  Stuart  Mill, 
with  whose  eulogiums  the  newspapers  are  filled, 
and  to  whom  a  monument  is  about  to  be  erected, 
is  a  confessed  atheist !  Here  is  something  we 
cannot  understand.  In  this  pious,  church-going, 
temple-worshipping  England,  where  the  Deity  is 
recognised  in  every  breath,  and  the  name  of  God 
"  written  on  the  bells  of  the  horses,"  the  atheist 
Mill  is  held  up  as  the  greatest  thinker,  the  most 
logical  writer,  the  model  philosopher  of  the  age. 
Why,  even  a  child,  if  you  show  him  a  watch,  or  a 
steam-engine,  or  a  telegraphic  apparatus,  and  tell 
him  the  machine  made  itself,  would  feel  that  the 
first  ray  of  his  reason  was  mocked.  It  strikes  us 
that  an  atheist,  a  denier  of  a  First  Cause,  supreme 
in  knowledge,  power,  and  beneficence,  is  simply 
an  impossibility,  who  can  no  more  frame  a  logical 
argument  than  we  can  build  a  pyramid  by  begin- 
ning at  the  top.  That  no  two  minds  can  have  the 
same  idea  of  the  Deity  we  can  readily  understand, 
as  no  two  minds  are  constituted  alike,  any  more 
than  any  two  bodies.  Some  admit  a  Deity  pos- 


246  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

sessing  knowledge  and  power,  but  not  beneficence. 
They  believe  in  a  great  but  not  in  a  good  God —  a 
Being  all  intellect  and  no  heart.  This  is  the  la- 
mentable conclusion  of  misanthropes,  with  whom 
''everything  goes  wrong  in  the  world,"  who  curse 
the  day  they  were  born,  and  who  have  been  goaded 
into  rebellion  and  defiance  by  the  monstrous,  blas- 
phemous doctrine  of  "eternal  damnation."  In 
plain  English,  men  hate  God  because  they  have  been 
taught  to  regard  the  Creator  of  the  Universe  sim- 
ply as  a  Being  endowed  with  supreme  power  and 
human  passion.  "We  hear  of  the  "  wrath  "  of  God, 
the  "  anger  "  of  God,  the  "  sword  "  of  God ;  and 
all  such  blasphemous  nonsense  is  simply  an  insult 
to  the  serene  and  infinite  One — the  original  and 
eternal  Code  of  Laws  that  rules  the  universe 
"without  variableness  or  shadow  of  turning" — 
One  to  whom  all  things  are  possible  but  the  abro- 
gation of  His  own  laws.  An  instant's  suspension 
of  the  laws  of  gravitation,  and  the  whole  Universe 
would  be  a  wreck.  Who,  then,  can  believe  that 
at  the  command  of  that  semi-barbarous  General, 
Joshua,  the  "  sun  stood  still,"  in  order  that  he 
might  prolong  his  bloody  battle  in  the  valley  of 
Ajelon?  It  was  only  a  military  division  carrying 
the  banner  of  ll  the  Sun  "  that  halted  on  that  me- 
morable occasion. 


THE   GILDED  AGE,  247 


THE   GILDED   AGE. 

WE  are  indebted  to  Mark  Twain  and  Charles 
Warner  for  a  work  in  three  volumes,  which  we 
have  devoured  at  a  sitting.  The  fiction  is  founded 
on  fact,  and  there  is  a  sting  of  satire  in  almost 
every  sentence.  The  characters  are  not  caricatures 
but  realities,  and  the  more  prominent  ones  will  be 
easily  recognised.  "  Weed"  is  Boss  Tweed,  and 
"  Senator  Dilworthy  "  is  Senator  Pomeroy — "  Old 
Subsidy  Pom.,"  as  he  is  familiarly  known  in  Wash- 
ington. We  quite  agree  with  the  following  criticism 
in  the  Standard: — "It  is  a  bitter  pill  for  Americans 
to  swallow;  but  the  medicine  is,  in  the  judgment 
of  its  authors,  a  necessary  one,  and  it  is  not  for 
Britishers  to  disagree  with  them.  Every  line  of 
the  work  can  find  a  parallel  in  the  New  York 
press  alone ;  every  incident  seems  so  real  to  those 
who  know  the  States,  that  it  might  have  been 
clipped  from  contemporary  records ;  and  some  of 
the  characters  are  less  caricatures  than  touched 
photographs,  notably  those  drawn  in  connection 


248  COSMOPOLITAN   MISCELLANIES. 

with  a  murder  case  described  in  the  third  volume. 
The  object  of  the  authors  has  been  to  draw  a 
terrible  picture  of  over-speculation  in  business,  of 
corruption  in  the  Senate  and  in  the  Court-house, 
and  of  the  rule  of  the  mob ;  and  they  have  only 
too  thoroughly  succeeded.  To  call  the  (  Gilded 
Age '  merely  a  novel  is  to  say  little  for  it.  It  is 
a  heliotype  in  which  the  shadows  are  hardly 
blacker  than  they  are  in  nature,  and  in  which 
there  are  very  few  '  high  lights  '  at  all.  It  is  a  work 
which,  however,  every  one  should  read,  and  which, 
when  read,  must  make  the  world  wonder  how  the 
Americans  could  have  ever  objected  to  a  single 
word  in  '  Martin  Chuzzlewit.' '  We  have  no 
doubt  the  Americans  will  swallow  the  "pill"  with 
great  avidity,  and  it  will  do  them  good.  As  they 
are  shown  up  by  their  own  pet  artists,  they  will, 
probably,  to  quote  their  own  language,  "  acknow- 
ledge the  corn."  The  speculating,  gambling, 
reckless  spirit  of  the  age  is  depicted  to  the  life ; 
and  all  the  scenes — the  race  on  the  river,  the 
laying  out  towns  in  the  West,  the  lobbying 
at  Washington,  and  the  murder  trial  in  New 
York,  read  like  fresh  reports  in  yesterday's  news- 
paper. The  fictitious  portion  of  the  book  seems 
the  least  fictitious  of  all.  Poor  "  Laura  Hawkins," 
who  fascinates  everybody  who  sees  her,  is  another 
Laura  Fair  of  San  Francisco  fame.  The  boat-race 


THE   GILDED  AGE.  249 

and  explosion  on  the  Mississippi  is  but  the  report, 
in  most  graphic  language,  of  an  actual  occurrence. 
"  Colonel  Sellers,"  a  victim  of  hope,  ambition, 
and  poverty,  is  a  character  one  meets  every  day 
in  America,  and  occasionally  in  Europe.  That 
dinner  he  gives  out  West,  when  the  bill-of-fare  is 
limited  to  raw  turnips  and  water,  is  a  picture 
worthy  of  the  pencil  of  Hogarth.  Another  touch 
of  nature  is  given  in  the  description  of  the  burst- 
ing, patriotic  backwoodsman,  who  always,  before 
going  to  bed  at  night,  went  outside  of  his  cabin 
door  and  lifted  up  his  voice  to  the  woods  around 
in  the  song  of  "  The  Star-Spangled  Banner."  He 
couldn't  "  keep"  till  morning  without  giving  vent 
to  his  expansive  enthusiasm.  But  about  the  best 
thing  in  the  book  is  the  report  given,  phonetically, 
of  the  old  nigger's  prayer  when  he  first  sees  a 
steamboat  rounding  a  point  on  the  Mississippi 
River  one  moonlight  night,  and  thinks  "  God 
A'mighty's  coming  for  him."  The  first  ejaculation 
is,  "  Heah  I  is,  good  Lord."  And  then  he  pleads 
stoutly  for  the  "  innocent  chiPn."  "  Take  dis 
old  nigger,  deah  Lord,  but  spare  dese  innocent 
chil'n."  Finally  he  begins  to  plead  for  himself, 
and  suggests  that  there  are  other  old  sinners 
about,  "  full  of  cussedness,"  which  the  Lord  had 
better  take  than  himself — "  poor  old  Uncle  Daniel, 
who  hasn't  long  to  live,  anyhow."  There  are  also 


250  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

very  serious,  very  profound,  and  painfully  pathetic 
chapters  in  the  book.  "  Si  Hawkin's  deathbed  " 
will  bring  a  misty  sensation  to  the  eyes  of  those 
who  have  a  heart  of  flesh,  and  who  know  what 
the  "  first  dark  day  of  nothingness  "  means — 
when  the  pleasant  voice  is  hushed,  the  light  of 
the  eye  extinguished,  and  the  form  we  loved  to 
embrace  lies  cold  and  still  in  death.  The  book 
is  profusely  illustrated,  which  adds  vividness  and 
reality  to  the  characters  and  scenes  so  powerfully 
portrayed  by  the  pen.  Notwithstanding  the  high 
price  at  which  the  book  sells  in  England — some 
seven  dollars — it  will,  doubtless,  be  in  great  de- 
mand at  the  libraries.  In  the  meantime,  per- 
haps Tauchnitz  will  give  us  a  cheap  edition  for  the 
benefit  of  the  million.  Personally,  we  feel  grate- 
ful to  the  authors  of  this  admirable  book.  During 
the  twenty-four  hours  that  made  up  the  last 
Christmas  Bay,  it  rendered  us  oblivious  to  the  vast 
loneliness  of  a  vast  hotel,  with  all  its  guests 
merrymaking  in  the  country ;  and,  better  still, 
relieved  us  of  that — 

"  Sorrow's  crown  of  sorrow — 
The  rememb'ring  happier  things," 

as  our  laurelled  poet  sings. 


LIFE    OF  JOHN   OF  BARNEVELD. 


LIFE  OF  JOHN  OF  BARNEVELD. 

ANOTHER  monumental  work  from  the  industrious 
pen  of  John  Lothrop  Motley.  But  who  was  John 
of  Barneveld  ?  will  be  asked — a  name  almost 
unknown  at  the  present  day?  He  was  Prime 
Minister  of  the  United  States  of  the  Netherlands 
two  hundred  and  fifty  years  ago,  and  king  in  all 
but  name.  James  was  then  on  the  throne  of  Eng- 
land, Henry  IV.  reigned  in  France,  and  Philip  in 
Spain.  The  Puritan  Fathers  of  the  New  World 
were  sojourning  at  Delfthaven,  preparing  to  em- 
bark in  the  Mayfloner.  The  epoch  was  one  of 
extraordinary  interest,  and  John  of  Barneveld, 
called  the  "  Advocate "  of  the  Dutch  Republics, 
was  one  of  the  grandest  and  most  conspicuous 
diplomatists  of  his  time.  Mr  Motley,  the  truly 
great  American  historian,  with  patient,  heroic 
industry,  has  dug  out  his  materials  for  these  two 
noble  volumes  from  the  time-stained  manuscripts, 
almost  illegible,  in  the  archives  of  Holland,  and 


252  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

the  work  forms  a  fitting  sequel  to  its  illustrious 
predecessors  from  the  same  pen.  We  have  read  it 
with  more  interest  and  satisfaction  than  we  know 
how  to  express.  The  style  is  simply  perfection, 
and  the  philosophy  is  equally  admirable.  The 
author,  in  connection  with  the  biography  of  his 
hero,  discusses  great  questions  of  government,  of 
religion,  of  war,  of  diplomacy,  and  of  personal 
character.  In  no  other  book  have  we  found 
sharper  or  wiser  criticisms  of  Elizabeth,  of  James, 
of  Henry  IV.,  of  Marie  de  Medici,  the  Prince  of 
Orange,  and  of  all  the  prominent  actors  in  that 
remarkable  era  known  as  the  "  Thirty  Years' 
War,"  but  which,  in  reality,  raged  for  eighty,  be- 
tween Catholics  and  Protestants,  and  then  between 
the  various  quarrelsome  divisions  of  Protestants. 
In  those  grim  days,  men -went  to  war  on  the  ques- 
tion of  Predestination  and  Infant  Damnation,  and 
cut  each  other's  throats  in  "  defence  of  the  Faith." 
King  James,  who  claimed  to  be  sole  "  Defender 
of  the  Faith,"  and  who  persecuted  the  Puritans  in 
England,  and  those  who  persecuted  Puritans  in 
Holland,  insisted  that  one  man  was  born  to  be 
saved,  another  to  be  damned,  and  that  "hell  was 
paved  with  infants'  skulls."  And  so  did  Maurice, 
the  warrior  Prince  of  Orange.  Hence  a  century 
of  war,  the  causes  and  the  consequences  of  which 
Mr  Motley  traces  with  the  most  logical  lucidity  in 


LIFE   OF  JOHN   OF  BARNEVELD.  253 

his  Life  of  Barneveld.  As  we  have  not  space 
enough  to  quote  from  this  admirable  book — a  book 
not  for  a  day  but  for  all  time — we  can  only  com- 
mend it  to  our  readers  as  a  study  and  a  pleasure, 
worth  whole  libraries  of  so-called  "  modern  liter- 
ature." Motley,  Bancroft,  and  Prescott  are  the 
three  great  historians  of  the  present  century — 
three  "immortal  names,  that  were  iiot  born  to 
die." 


254  COSMOPOLITAN   MISCELLANIES. 


INDEPENDENT  JOURNALISM. 

INDEPENDENT  journalism  is  as  rare  as  disinterested 
charity,  and  far  less  profitable.  Let  the  reader 
name  an  English  newspaper,  if  he  can,  that  re- 
presents anything  more  than  the  prejudices,  the 
traditions,  the  caprices  of  political  parties,  religious 
sects,  literary  cliques,  social  circles,  and  vested 
interests.  In  fact,  newspapers  are  generally 
started  for  the  sole  purpose  of  supporting  special 
objects,  social,  financial,  political,  or  religious. 
They  must  be  both  partisan  and  sectarian,  out 
and  out,  in  order  to  gain  the  support  of  some 
particular  sect  or  party.  We  look  in  vain  in  the 
one-sided  columns  of  any  of  the  great  London 
newspapers  for  the  spirit  of  freedom,  of  in- 
dependence, of  impartiality.  To  begin  with  the 
Times,  the  great  misleader  of  British  public 
opinion.  The  syndicate  of  Printing  House 
Square,  which  controls  the  voice  of  the 
"  Thunderer,"  is  an  organic  body  of  insular 
prejudice,  devoted  exclusively  to  the  interests  of 


INDEPENDENT  JOURNALISM. 

the  Times,  and  to  the  gratification  of  personal, 
political,  and  national  spleen.  Let  a  public  man 
offend  it,  and  his  name  is  tabooed  from  its 
columns,  no  matter  how  famous  the  name  may  be. 
When  Boucicault,  the  celebrated  dramatist  and 
actor,  incurred  and  defied  its  wrath,  his  name  was 
ostracised  from  its  columns  "for  two  years,  and 
those  the  most  prosperous  years  of  his  life."  And 
yet  the  Times  claims  to  be  a  newspaper  I  An- 
other instance  of  Times  bigotry.  A  few  years  ago 
a  certain  New  York  journalist  published  a  book 
anonymously,  which  had  a. large  and  rapid  sale,  and, 
of  course,  was  generally  "  noticed  "  by  the  Press. 
The  London  Times,  having  received  a  copy  of  the 
work,  ordered  it  to  be  reviewed  by  one  of  its  literary 
hacks,  who  gave  the  book  a  long  and  laudatory 
article,  which  was  "  already  in  type,"  when  the 
magnanimous  manager,  on  discovering  the  real 
name  of  the  author,  ordered  the  article  to  be  can- 
celled !  But  we  have  a  fresh  illustration  of  the 
personal  spite  of  the  Times.  A  few  weeks  ago, 
when  the  Cosmopolitan  had  the  courage  to  apply 
to  the  "  Claimant "  the  names  of  the  felonies  of 
which  he  had  confessed  himself  guilty  in  the  wit- 
ness-stand, complaint  was  made  to  the  Court 
against  this  journal  for  contempt.  While  all  the 
other  newspapers  mentioned  the  name  of  the  Cos- 
mopolitan in  connection  with  the  case,  the  Times, 


256  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

i 

with  its  characteristic  prejudice,  called  it  "  a 
weekly  newspaper."  These  are  trifles,  but  they 
illustrate  the  fact  that  there  is  no  independence, 
and  very  little  fairness,  in  the  spirit  of  British 
journalism.  Every  newspaper  is  the  centre  of  a 
clique,  with  its  pets  to  applaud,  and  its  enemies 
to  punish.  These  "  Rings  "  of  the  Press  seem  to 
be  only  watching  for  an  apropos  to  puff  a  friend 
or  stab  a  foe.  And  when  one  of  the  latter  cate- 
gory, who  has  not  "bowed  the  knee  to  Baal," 
dares  to  write  a  book,  to  compose  or  sing  a  song, 
or  to  set  up  an  independent  newspaper,  how 
eagerly  and  how  unitedly  they  pounce  upon  him ! 
He  does  not  belong  to  our  set ;  ostracise  him.  He 
is  not  of  our  political  party ;  extinguish  him.  He 
belongs  not  to  our  Church ;  crucify  him.  This 
is  the  very  essence  of  English  journalism,  of  Eng- 
lish criticism,  of  English  justice.  And  the  Cos- 
mopolitan, which  belongs  to  no  sect,  party,  clique, 
or  nationality,  has  the  courage  to  say  it.  To  put 
the  matter  a  little  more  strongly,  we  assert  our 
belief  that  if  Gladstone  or  Disraeli  were  to  write 
weekly  leaders  for  the  Cosmopolitan,  anonymously ', 
not  a  newspaper  in  London  would  notice  them. 
Any  old  woman  who  "  gives  tongue "  in  the 
Times  or  the  Saturday  Review  is  listened  to  as  an 
oracle. 


THE    GERMAN   OCTOPUS.  25 / 


THE    GERMAN  OCTOPUS. 

PBINCE  BISMARCK,  the  German  Octopus,  is  feeling 
for  a  foothold  in  America,  Since  his  triumphant 
subjugation  and  dismemberment  of  France,  the 
ambitious  Prime  Minister  of  the  Consolidated 
German  Empire  has  manifested  a  disposition  to 
compete  for  power  with  Russia  in  the  East  and 
with  England  in  the  West.  His  policy  may  be 
summed  up  in  two  words — expansion  and  domina- 
tion. To  this  end  Germany  must  become  a  great 
Naval  Power,  contending  with  England  for  the 
supremacy  of  the  sea,  and  a  great  Financial  Power, 
converting  the  bulk  of  the  world's  bullion  into 
current  coin  bearing  the  "  image  and  superscrip- 
tion "  of  Kaiser  William,  It  is  also  necessary 
that  Germany  should  emancipate  herself  from 
ecclesiastical  dominion,  looking  to  Berlin  rather 
than  to  Rome  for  laws  to  govern  the  Church,  as 
well  as  to  guide  the  State.  This  is  certainly  a 
magnificent  programme ;  and,  admitting  the  great 
primary  law  of  self-interest  to  be  the  highest  of 


258  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

all  human  inspirations,  we  do  not  hesitate  to  call 
Bismarck  a  patriot,  a  lover  of  his  country,  par 
excellence.  As  for  ability,  and  what  the  world 
calls  statesmanship,  we  have  not  seen  his  equal  in 
diplomatic  audacity  since  the  days  of  Talleyrand. 
And  yet,  with  all  his  comprehensive  cunning  and 
scheming,  the  Prussian  intriguant  is  in  imminent 
danger  of  falling  a  victim  to  that  "  vaulting 
ambition  which  o'erleaps  itself."  Bismarck  is 
provoking  hosts  of  enemies  both  at  home  and 
abroad  :  most  dangerous  and  most  insidious  of  all 
are  the  Jesuits,  whose  sleepless  animosity,  the 
world  over,  like  a  woman's  vengeance,  is  all  the 
more  fatal  from  the  apparent  weakness  of  the 
hand  that  strikes.  The  German  States  are  con- 
solidated by  force,  not  welded  by  love ;  and  States 
pinned  together  by  bayonets  are  not  likely  to  form 
a  lasting  Federation.  Political  discontent  and 
religious  antagonisms  are  seething  throughout 
all  the  German  Empire.  It  becomes  necessary, 
therefore,  to  pick  a  quarrel  abroad  in  order  to 
maintain  loyalty  at  home.  As  we  have  said,  the 
German  Octopus  is  now  stretching  his  tentaculce 
far  over  the  sea  to  find  a  point  cTappui  in  the 
West.  In  the  lyrical  language  of  Lydia,  he  is 
"  the  octopusest  octopus  that  ever  you  did  see." 
To  become  a  great  Naval  Power,  a  rival  to  that 
expansive  and  heroic  Power  which  for  a  thousand 


THE   GERMAN   OCTOPUS.  2  59 

years  has  "  ruled  the  waves,"  it  is  absolutely 
necessary  for  Germany  to  have  naval  stations 
and  harbours  in  the  Carribean  Sea  or  the  Pacific 
Ocean.  Overtures  have  been  successively  made 
to  St  Domingo,  to  Porto  Rico,  and  to  Mexico ;  but 
thus  far  without  success.  Having  failed  to  win 
or  bribe  any  of  these  petty  Powers  to  yield  to  his 
embraces,  the  Octopus  has  recently  attempted  to 
"  accomplish  his  purpose "  by  violence  on  the 
virgin  islands  of  Samoa,  in  the  South  Pacific,  the 
"  Dreamland  "  of  which  we  gave  our  readers  some 
account  in  a  recent  issue  of  the  Cosmopolitan, 
based  on  the  Report  of  Col.  Steinberger  to  the 
State  Department  at  Washington.  During  the 
last  week  telegrams  have  been  flying  across  the 
Atlantic  announcing  the  attempted  rape  by  the 
Octopus,  or,  to  drop  the  figure,  of  the  appearance 
of  the  German  war-steamer  Ancona  in  Samoan 
waters,  demanding  a  certain  pecuniary  indemnity 
of  the  natives,  while  threatening  to  "  burn  the 
Islands."  The  pretence  for  this  hostile  demon- 
stration, as  we  happen  to  know,  was  based  on  a 
claim  for  18,000  dollars,  made  by  the  house  of 
Goddefroy  &  Co.,  of  Hamburg,  who  for  many 
years  have  monopolised  the  trade  of  the  Samoan 
Islands,  and  amassed  princely  fortunes  thereby. 
Herr  Caesar  Goddefroy,  a  member  of  this  firm,  is 
also  an  influential  member  of  the  German  Senate. 


260  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

Hence  this  recent  movement  to  subjugate  the 
Samoans,  and  get  possession  of  one  of  the  finest 
harbours  in  the  world.  This  little  game  of  the 
great  chess-player  was  suddenly  checkmated  by 
certain  Americans,  who  paid  the  Goddefroy  claim, 
when  the  Octopus  pulled  himself  together  and 
retired.  Meantime  the  United  States,  who  are 
going  to  annex  these  Islands  at  no  distant  date, 
has  ordered  the  war -steamer  Tuscarora,  with 
Commissioner  Steinberger  on  board,  to  make  all 
possible  haste  to  reach  the  Bay  of  Savaii,  the 
capital  of  Samoa,  and  there  unfurl  the  Stars  and 
Stripes  from  the  pinnacle  of  the  loftiest  mountain, 
in  defence  of  the  "  Monroe  doctrine."  Colonel 
Steinberger,  who  has  already  been  accepted  by  all 
the  native  authorities  as  Chief  of  the  Islands,  left 
Southampton  on  Saturday  last  in  the  Baltimore 
steamer  Ohio,  en  route  for  the  beautiful  family  of 
Nine  Islands,  forming  the  Samoan  Group,  in  the 
Dreamland  of  the  Pacific.  Hundreds  of  millions 
of  new  materials  will  soon  be  added  to  the  com- 
merce of  the  civilised  world. 


PULLMAN  ON   THE  MIDLAND.  26 1 


PULLMAN  ON   THE  MIDLAND. 

THE  English  people,  as  a  rule,  are  not  much 
given  to  innovations.  They  are  eminently  con- 
servative by  nature  and  habit.  A  Government 
that  has  existed  for  a  thousand  years  has  edu- 
cated the  people  into  a  general  state  of  content- 
ment— the  state  of  Apostolic  beatitude.  "What 
was  good  enough  for  our  fathers  and  our  grand- 
fathers is  good  enough  for  us,"  is  the  practical 
and  comfortable  creed  of  the  average  English- 
man, not  only  in  religion,  philosophy,  and  politics, 
but  in  all  the  economies  of  social,  industrial,  and 
domestic  life.  Hence  the  proverbial  difficulty  of 
introducing  a  new  idea  into  England.  "  John 
Bull  don't  see  it,"  is  the  constant  complaint  of 
Americans  who  come  here  with  their  new-fangled 
notions.  A  very  strong  prejudice  exists  against 
everything  new,  no  matter  how  long  or  how  suc- 
cessfully the  invention  or  discovery  may  have  been 
in  operation  elsewhere.  But  there  are  excep- 


262  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

tions  to  all  rules,  and  one  of  the  most  signal  ex- 
ceptions of  recent  date  is  the  adoption  of  the 
Pullman  Car  by  the  Midland  Railway  Company. 
These  locomotive  palaces,  which  have  made  tra- 
velling in  America  a  luxury  for  the  last  fifteen 
years,  are  now  running  out  of  London  to  certain 
stations  on  the  Midland  Road,  and  will,  doubtless, 
soon  be  adopted  by  all  the  other  leading  Lines. 
Twenty  additional  Cars  are  now  on  the  way  to 
Liverpool  from  America,  and  many  more  will 
doubtless  follow.  For  the  introduction  of  this 
great  "  improvement "  the  British  public  is  in- 
debted to  James  Allport,  Esq.,  the  General 
Manager  of  the  Midland,  of  whom  one  of  the 
leading  Railway  men  in  the  United  States  said 
to  us  in  New  York,  "  He  is  the  most  intelligent 
Railroad  man  I  have  ever  met."  Mr  Allport,  after 
travelling  extensively  on  the  American  Roads  in 
the  Pullman  Cars,  came  to  the  conclusion  that 
England  could  no  longer  afford  to  do  without 
them.  Arrangements  were  immediately  made  to 
introduce  the  Pullman  on  the  Midland,  on  the 
same  terms  as  in  the  United  States.  But  this  is 
not  the  only  American  idea  adopted  by  Mr  Allport 
for  the  comfort  and  security  of  the  public.  He 
has  also  introduced  the  Westinghouse  Air-Brake, 
Miller's  Patent  Couplings,  with  improved  springs, 
bogies,  <fcc.  ;  in  fact  everything  which  has  been 


PULLMAN  ON   THE  MIDLAND.  263 

successfully  tested  on  the  other  side  of  the  Atlantic. 
In  this  respect  the  Midland  Manager  has  shown 
himself  to  be  a  man  above  all  insular  prejudices — 
a  thorough  Railway   cosmopolitan.      Twenty-five 
years  ago  Mr  Allport  took  charge  of  the  Midland, 
then  a  single  Line  of  about  forty  miles.     It  has 
grown   up    under  his    enterprising    management 
to  a  system  of  Roads  covering  some  twelve  hun- 
dred miles,  and  the  Company  is  one  of  the  most 
successful  in  existence.     The  London   Station  at 
St  Pancras,  including  the  Midland  Grand  Hotel, 
is   a   magnificent   embodiment  of  comprehensive 
ideas.      The  span  of  this  superb  structure  is  243 
feet  from  wall  to  wall,  the  length  is  700  feet,  and 
the  height  100.     The  roof  is   690   feet  long,  and 
the  whole   "shed"  covers  a  space  of  nearly  ten 
acres.     Every  iron  rib  in  the  roof  weighs  fifty 
tons.     But  the  enterprising  spirit  of  the  Midland 
will  not  stop  here.     We  understand  it  is  in  con- 
templation   to    open    a    ticket-office    in    London, 
where   passengers,   at  their  leigure,  may  provide 
themselves  with  tickets,  good  until  used,  and  get 
their  luggage   "  checked,"   as  in  America.      The 
great    convenience,  and   the  saving  of  time  and 
money,  by  this  arrangement,  will   indeed  prove  a 
blessing  to  the  travelling  public.     As  the  Company 
has  already  done  so  much  in  the  way  of  increasing 
the  facilities  and  comforts  of  travel  on  their  Line, 


264  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

and  shown  such  rare  liberality  in  the  adoption  of 
American  ideas,  they  cannot  fail  to  reap  their 
reward  by  a  large  increase  of  American  patronage. 
It  is  estimated  that  not  less  than  one  million  of 
dollars  per  annum  is  spent  by  Americans  on  the 
Road  between  Liverpool  and  London.  Most  of 
this  money  goes  into  the  pocket  of  the  North- 
Western,  because  that  Line  is  the  most  direct, 
and  a  few  minutes  shorter.  Having  regard  only 
to  the  pleasure  and  comfort  of  the  traveller,  we 
advise  him  to  make  this  journey  in  a  Pullman 
Palace  Car  on  the  Midland,  which  passes  through 
the  most  beautiful  and  the  most  historically 
interesting  part  of  England.  Let  him  start,  for 
instance,  from  London  in  the  morning,  and  what 
a  charming  panorama  is  unfolded !  The  train 
leaves  the  ancient  churchyard  of  St  Pancras, 
where  reposes  the  dust  of  the  French  Refugees ; 
then  passes  the  "Gospel  Oak"  of  Haverstock 
Hill;  across  Finchley  Common,  where  in  1660 
General  Monk  massed  his  forces  pending  the 
Restoration  of  Charles  II. ;  the  famous  pleasure 
resort  at  Hendon  known  as  the  "  Welsh  Harp," 
and  the  grave  of  Jack  Sheppard  ;  the  celebrated 
Harrow  School,  founded  in  the  reign  of  Elizabeth 
by  John  of  Preston,  who  required  each  pupil  to 
come  provided  with  a  bow  and  shaft,  and  where 
Lord  Byron  and  Sir  Robert  Peel  got  their 


PULLMAN  ON   THE  MIDLAND.  26$ 

11  rudiments;  "  on  through  St  Albans,  the  ancient 
Verulam,  where  great  battles  were  fought  in  the 
days  of  Julius  Ceesar,  and  where  the  martyr 
Albanus  was  scourged  and  beheaded  by  pagan 
Britons ;  through  the  straw-plaiting  village  of 
Harpenden ;  past  Luton  Old  Church,  containing 
the  beautiful  baptistery  presented  by  Queen  Anne 
Boleyn ;  on  by  Dallow  Farm,  where,  in  the  time 
of  Charles,  the  Dissenters  held  their  unlawful 
"  conventicles ; "  through  Bedford,  where,  in 
Elstow  Church,  John  Bunyan  "  pulled  the  bell- 
ropes,"  and  where,  within  the  walls  of  the  old 
gaol,  he  wrote  that  immortal  book — "  Pilgrim's 
Progress  to  the  Celestial  City;"  past  Oakley 
House,  the  seat  of  the  Duke  of  Bedford ;  through 
Market  Harboro',  headquarters  of  the  army  of 
Charles  I.  before  the  battle  of  Naseby,  and  where 
Cromwell  dated  his  despatches  to  Parliament 
announcing  the  defeat  of  the  Royalists  ;  Wistow 
Hall,  where  Charles  stopped  after  the  battle  of 
Naseby ;  the  historical  town  of  Leicester,  founded 
by  King  Lear,  and  where  the  great  Wolsey  died, 
a  prisoner  in  the  hands  of  the  Duke  of  Northum- 
berland, in  the  year  1530;  and  where,  to-day, 
15,000  stocking-frames  are  at  work,  supplying 
half  the  world  with  hosiery ;  Kegworth,  where 
Tom  Moore  wrote  some  of  his  best  poems,  and 
where  Heathcoat  invented  his  bobbinet-machine ; 


266  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

on  to  Derby,  a  charming  town,  where  we  catch  a 
glimpse  of  the  spire  of  All  Saints'  Church,  174  feet 
above  the  pinnacles,  erected  in  the  time  of  Henry 
VIII.,  and  where  the  Pullman  Cars  are  put  together; 
Belper,  where  Messrs  Strutt  employ  more  than 
2000  hands  in  their  cotton  -  mills ;  Wingfield 
Manor  House,  built  by  the  Lord  Treasurer  Ralph 
Cromwell,  in  the  time  of  Henry  VI.,  and  where 
Mary,  "  the  hapless  Queen  of  Scots,"  was  held 
a  prisoner  in  1584 ;  Darfield,  in  whose  church- 
yard Ebenezer  Elliott,  the  "  Corn-Law  Rhymer," 
is  buried ;  Woodlesford,  the  birthplace  of  Darnley, 
husband  of  Mary  Queen  of  Scots,  who  was  blown 
to  pieces  by  gunpowder  in  Edinburgh,  two  years 
after  the  marriage ;  Skipton,  the  home  of  the 
Cliffords,  immortalised  by  Wordsworth;  Kimbolton, 
where  poor  Queen  Catherine,  after  her  divorce, 
retired  and  died — 

"  Shipwrecked  upon  a  kingdom  where  no  pity, 
No  friends,  no  hope,  no  kindred  weep  for  me  ; 
Almost  no  grave  allowed  me ;  like  the  lily, 
That  once  was  mistress  of  the  field,  and  flourished, 
I'll  hang  my  head  and  perish." 

Old  Wisbeach,  where  "William  the  Conqueror  built 
a  castle  ; — all  these,  and  many  other  places  of  his- 
torical interest,  are  to  be  seen  on  the  road  from 
London  to  Liverpool  from  the  Car  windows  on  the 
Midland  Line.  Our  Transatlantic  friends  should 


.PULLMAN  ON   THE  MIDLAND.  26/ 

not  fail  to  make  this  trip  by  daylight.  The  fare  is 
the  same,  the  comfort  incomparably  greater,  and  the 
route  of  such  surpassing  interest,  that,  instead  of 
finding  the  few  additional  minutes  wearisome,  the 
traveller  will  find  himself  all  too  soon  at  the  end 
of  his  journey. 


268  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 


THE  AMERICAN  CENTENNIAL. 

WE  consider  it  the  patriotic  duty  of  every  man, 
woman,  and  child  in  America  to  contribute  to  the 
success  of  the  coming  Centennial  Anniversary  of 
the  national  independence  of  the  United  States. 
To  preserve  the  national  autonomy  for  a  hundred 
years,  triumphant  over  foreign  foes  and  domestic 
rebellions,  is  certainly  a  record  to  be  proud  of. 
To  have  grown  within  this  period  from  three 
States  to  thirty-seven,  and  from  a  population  of 
three  millions  to  forty,  is  a  record  of  national 
prosperity  utterly  unequalled  in  the  history  of  the 
world.  To  commemorate  all  these  achievements, 
to  return  national  thanks  for  all  these  blessings, 
the  Americans  have  fixed  on  their  hundredth 
anniversary,  the  year  1876,  as  a  year  of  jubilee, 
and  are  making  vast  preparations  for  its  appro- 
priate celebration.  Philadelphia,  Penn's  piously 
named  "  city  of  brotherly  love,"  the  "  cradle  of 
American  Liberty,"  the  "  National  Mecca  of 
Freedom,"  is  selected  for  the  grand  solem- 
nities. The  people  throughout  the  entire  Union 


THE   AMERICAN   CENTENNIAL.  269 

have  gone  to  work  with  an  almost  religious 
enthusiasm  to  get  up  the  grandest  International 
Exhibition  the  world  has  ever  seen,  and  we  do 
not  hesitate  to  predict  for  this  noble  undertaking 
a  success  beyond  the  most  sanguine  dreams  of  the 
projectors.  Some  five  millions  of  dollars  have 
already  been  raised  for  the  cause,  and  as  much 
more  will  be  freely  forthcoming.  If  Congress 
does  not  see  fit  to  make  the  appropriation,  the 
voluntary  and  eager  contributions  of  the  people 
will  provide  all  the  means  required  to  crown 
the  edifice  with  unbounded  success.  Over  twenty 
Foreign  Powers  have  responded  cordially  to  the 
invitation  of  the  Washington  Government,  and 
manufacturers  and  producers  from  all  parts  of  the 
civilised  world  are  sen3ing  forward  applications 
for  space  to-  exhibit  their  productions.  As  we 
announced  some  weeks  ago  in  the  Cosmopolitan, 
most  of  the  European  Governments  will  send 
Royal  Commissioners  to  the  Philadelphia  Exhi- 
bition, many  of  whom  will  lend  their  choicest 
gems  of  art  to  grace  the  walls  of  the  Great 
Picture  Gallery.  All  that  the  world  knows  of 
science,  art,  and  mechanism,  will  be  concentrated 
for  the  benefit  of  the  world  in  the  Centennial 
Exposition  of  Philadelphia.  The  impulse  this 
will  give  to  trade  and  travel  is  too  obvious  for 
discussion.  A  hundred  steamships  will  hardly  be 


2/O  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

sufficient  for  the  passengers  and  traffic  across  the 
Atlantic.  New  York  will  be  inundated  with  Euro- 
pean guests,  as  well  as  visitors  from  all  parts  of 
the  United  States,  and  the  Railroad  Companies 
will  find  the  Year  of  Jubilee  a  golden  harvest. 
Hotel-keepers  within  a  radius  of  a  hundred  miles 
from  Philadelphia  are  already  preparing  for  the 
coming  flood.  There  is  probably  not  an  American 
in  Europe  to-day  who  is  not  promising  himself 
the  pleasure  of  a  visit  to  Philadelphia  in  1876. 
The  scattered  children  of  the  Republic  will  all  flock 
homewards,  like  "  doves  to  their  windows,"  to 
swell  the  loud  huzzas  of  the  Year  of  Jubilee,  the 
hundredth  birthday  of  American  Freedom. 


EGYPT.  271 


EGYPT. 

THE  author  of  the  "  Hans  Breitmann  Ballads," 
who  passed  last  winter  in  Cairo,  has  issued  a 
volume  entitled  "  The  Egyptian  Sketch-Book," 
but  which,  with  commendable  self-appreciation, 
he  characterises,  in  one  of  the  chapters,  as  "a 
Sketch-Book  of  Nonsense."  Such  modesty  on 
the  author's  part  may  well  disarm  the  critic. 
Mr  Charles  G.  Leland  has  long  ranked  high 
among  the  witty  writers  of  America :  one  of  those 
desperately  humorous  fellows,  who,  like  the  poet 
Holmes  of  Boston,  "  do  not  dare  to  be  as  funny 
as  they  can,"  for  fear  of  bursting  the  waistbands 
and  corset-strings  of  their  readers.  In  his  Breit- 
mann lingo  of  broken  Dutch,  Mr  Leland  made 
a  decided  hit.  The  "  Breitmann  Party "  went 
the  rounds  of  the  Press,  and  was  everywhere 
read  with  irrepressible  laughter.  Nothing  more 
grotesque  has  ever  appeared  in  that  "line  of 
literature."  We  have  often  smiled,  all  alone  in 


2/2  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

the  dark,  at  the  following  graphic  description  of  a 
scene  at  that  famous  "  Barty  " — 

"  I  valsit  mit  Matilda  Yane, 
She  weigh  two  hunder  pound  ; 
And  every  time  she  gif  a  joomp, 
She  make  der  vinder  sound." 

There  are  also  touches  of  genuine  pathos  in  the 
Ballads,  which  give  Mr  Lelaud  the  right  to   be 
called  a  poet.     In  this  Egyptian  brochure  we  have 
one    of    those    serio-comio    works    which    neither 
make  us  cry  nor  laugh;  a  sort  of  half-and-half 
mixture,  which  satisfies  neither  the  sentiment  of 
fun,  nor  the  aifectation  of  philosophy.     The  book 
is  written  somewhat  in  the  strain  of  Mark  Twain's 
11  Innocents  Abroad ;  "  but  we  refrain  from  making 
any  comparison  between  the   two — in  fact,  there 
is   no   comparison.      The  chapters    on  Asses  and 
Fleas  are  written  in   a  vein  of  solemn  research 
quite  worthy  of  the  subjects — one  moment  amus- 
ing, the  next  disgusting.     The  book  is  sprinkled 
with  anecdotes,  some  of  which  are  good,  but  the 
majority    should    be    credited    to    Joseph   Miller, 
Pasquin,  or   some  other  ancient  party  on   whom 
has  been  pasted  the  jokes   of  ages.      As  a  fair 
specimen   of  the  author's   trifling,   we  quote  the  " 
following — giving    as    a    key    to    the    wit,    that 
Pelican  and  Woodcock,  who  are  thus  "  embalmed 
in  amber,"   are  head-waiters   at  the   Langham  : — 


EGYPT.  2/3 

"  They  keep  two  pelicans  at  Shepheard's  Hotel,  in 
Cairo,  while  they  have  only  one  at  the  Langham, 
in  London.  The  two,  however,  at  Shepheard's, 
though  large,  are  very  lazy,  while  the  one  at  the 
Langham  is  small,  but  very  useful  and  active. 
The  woodcock  in  Egypt,  or  what  I  ate  for  such, 
were  miserable  creatures ;  while,  per  contra,  the 
best  woodcock  I  ever  met  in  my  life  was  at  the 
same  hotel  in  London."  The  more  serious  part  of 
the  book  is  devoted  to  laudation  of  the  Khedive, 
whom  the  author  regards  as  the  most  enlightened 
Kuler  in  the  world, — an  estimation  which  we 
heartily  endorse.  Mr  Leland  wrell  says — "  With 
its  railroads  rapidly  extending  into  a  fertile  country 
of  enormous  extent,  inhabited  by  industrious  and 
money-loving  races,  skilled  in  manufactures,  and 
with  a  marvellously  shrewd  and  vigorous  man,  of 
extremely  liberal  views,  at  its  head,  Egypt  should 
not  long  remain  a  dependency ;  and  until  it  is 
entirely  free  in  every  respect,  it  cannot  enter  as 
it  should  on  the  great  career  of  progress."  Since 
the  death  of  the  Third  Napoleon,  the  Khedive  of 
Egypt  is  the  most  advanced  monarch  living.  And 
we  believe  the  day  of  Egyptian  independence  is 
drawing  near. 


2/4  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 


A    GRAND   COSMOPOLITAN 
ENTERPRISE. 

THE  Paris  correspondent  of  the  Times  gave  some 
encouraging  and  interesting  items  last  week  in 
regard  to  the  proposed  Nicaraguan  Canal,  which 
will  be  found  reproduced  in  to-day's  Cosmopolitan. 
It  has  long  been  a  problem  of  the  greatest  interest 
to  the  commercial  world,  and,  had  it  not  been  for 
the  Civil  War  in  America,  no  doubt  this  maritime 
connection  between  the  Atlantic  and  Pacific  Oceans 
would  have  been  un  fait  accompli  before  M. 
Lessep's  kindred  undertaking  of  uniting  the  Red 
and  Mediterranean  Seas.  This  magnificent  enter- 
prise had  a  peculiar  fascination  for  the  late 
Emperor  Napoleon,  whose  expansive  and  generous 
mind  was  always  occupied  with  grand  ideas  ;  and 
we  may  state,  that  but  for  the  disastrous  German 
War,  the  Emperor  would  have  given  his  powerful 
aid  to  the  completion  of  the  American  Isthmus 
Canal.  The  cost  of  uniting  the  two  great  Oceans 
would  be  less  than  that  of  keeping  the  army  of 


A    GRAND    COSMOPOLITAN  ENTERPRISE.      2?$ 

France,  or  of  the  United  States  during  the 
Rebellion,  sixty  days  in  the  field.  Peace  hath  her 
victories,  and  here  is  one  in  which  all  nations  can 
unite  for  the  common  benefit  of  mankind.  This 
inter-ocean  Canal  is  not  a  national  enterprise,  but 
a  truly  cosmopolitan  one.  When  first-class  ships 
can  come  from  San  Francisco  down  the  Pacific 
coast,  cross  the  narrow  neck  between  the  two 
continents  of  North  and  South  America,  then  up 
to  New  York,  or  on  across  the  Atlantic,  the  Medi- 
terranean, through  the  Suez  Canal  into  the  Red 
Sea,  and  out  into  the  waters  of  the  Orient, 
voyages  round  the  world,  for  business  or  pleasure, 
can  be  made  in  less  time  than  the  famous  "  eighty 
days  "  of  Jules  Verne.  And  nothing  is  wanting 
to  accomplish  all  this  but  one  resolute  human 
will.  It  was  De  Witt  Clinton's  will  that  married 
the  waters  of  Lake  Erie  with  the  Hudson ;  it  was 
De  Lessep's  energy  that  cut  a  pathway  for  ships 
through  the  Suez  Isthmus  ;  it  was  Field's  per- 
severing faith  that  placed  Europe  and  America  in 
instant  electric  communication.  The  will,  the 
faith  of  one  earnest  man,  can  "remove  mountains." 
And  such  a  man,  we  believe,  has  taken  hold  of 
the  Nicaraguan  Canal  question.  Judge  0' Sullivan 
is  "  the  American  "  alluded  to  in  the  Times  cor- 
respondence, who  has  set  his  heart  and  hand  to 
the  accomplishment  of  this  great  financial,  com- 


2/6  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

mercial,  and  philanthropic  work.     Judge  0' Sullivan 
is  a  man  in  the  prime  of  life,  of  large  experience 
in  public  affairs,  who  has  represented  the  United 
States  in  France  and  in  India,  and  been  engaged 
in  many  successful  undertakings  in  Mexico,  where, 
during  the  brief  and  unhappy  reign  of  the  noble 
Maximilian,    he    "  did   the    State  some    service." 
This  gigantic  engineering  work  could   not  be  in 
better  hands.     The  enthusiasm  of  the  "  promoter  " 
ensures  success.     The  undertaking  is  practicable, 
feasible,   and  most  desirable — infinitely    more  so 
than  that  "  work  of  supererogation,"  the  proposed 
tunnelling  of  the  Channel  between  England  and 
France.     Recent  surveys  give   the   length   of  the 
Nicaraguan  Canal   as  about   181   miles,  of  which 
there    is    Lake    navigation    56    miles,  and   River 
navigation  of   63  miles,  leaving  only  61  for  the 
actual  cutting  of  the  Canal,  with  the  mean  depth 
above  the  water  of  30  feet.     Only  fourteen   locks 
would  be    required  to  overcome   the    gradient  of 
some  130  feet.     It  is  proposed  to  make  the  Canal 
72  feet  wide,  with  a  depth  of  26  feet  of  water. 
The  supply  of  water  from  Lake  Nicaragua  and  the 
San  Juan  River   is  simply  inexhaustible.     As  the 
San    Juan    forms    a    portion    of    the    boundary 
between    Costa   Rica  and  Nicaragua,   concessions 
would  have    to    be    obtained  from  both   of   these 
States,  which  are  eager  to  see  the  work  begun,  as 


A    GRAND   COSMOPOLITAN  ENTERPRISE.       2// 

it  will  be  of  incalculable  benefit,  not  only  to  the 
intersected  States,  but  to  the  commerce  of  the 
whole  world.  As  to  the  question  of  funds,  we 
believe  the  sum  total  required  to  complete  the 
work  could  be  "  syndicated  "  in  a  single  day. 


2/8  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 


A    RIGHTEOUS    VERDICT. 

NEVER  has  the  common  sense  of  justice — the 
noblest  element  in  the  human  heart — been  more 
profoundly  satisfied  than  by  the  verdict  and 
sentence  given  in  the  Court  of  Queen's  Bench 
against  the  Tichborne  Claimant,  the  most  stu- 
pendous fraud  the  world  has  ever  witnessed. 
There  is  only  one  regret  among  all  intelligent, 
justice-loving  minds,  and  that  is  the  inadequacy  of 
the  punishment  inflicted  in  proportion  to  the  in- 
jury done.  Eternity  is  not  long  enough  for  the 
full  expiation  of  such  a  series  of  capital  crimes  as 
are  involved  in  the  false  pretences,  forgeries,  libels, 
and  scandals  which  have  been  deliberately  invented 
and  persistently  perpetrated  by  this  infamous, 
iniquitous,  and  callous  Wapping  butcher,  who 
possesses  far  more  of  the  nature  of  a  hog  than  the 
character  of  a  man,  and  whose  infinite  wickedness 
reconciles  one  to  the  doctrine  of  eternal  punish- 
ment, the  necessity  of  an  orthodox  hell.  As  the 
Judge  remarked  in  pronouncing  sentence,  the  law 


A   RIGHTEOUS    VERDICT.  2/9 

contemplated  no  such  crimes  as  those  committed 
by  the  Claimant  in  fixing  the  penalty  for  perjury. 
But  the  scoundrel  is  now  about  forty-four  years  of 
age,  and  the  sweat  of  penal  servitude  for  fourteen 
years,  under  the  weight  of  such  a  monstrous  mass 
of  adipose  matter,  is  about  equal  to  a  life  sentence. 
If  he  should  live  through  his  term,  and  at  the  age 
of  fifty-eight  the  monster  should  again  be  let  loose 
on  society,  he  will  hardly  be  able  to  play  another 
role  of  perjury  and  fraud,  or  to  find  accomplices, 
either  men  or  women,  to  join  him  in  new  con- 
spiracies. That  there  has  been  a  most  wicked  and 
well-organised  conspiracy  admits  not  a  shadow  of 
doubt.  It  began  in  Australia  as  a  money  specula- 
tion, and  it  culminated  in  London  with  the  same 
base  motive.  Is  there  no  law,  no  punishment  but 
public  opinion,  to  reach  the  numerous  accomplices 
of  the  Claimant  ?  Kenealy  should  be  disbarred, 
and  the  House  of  Commons  should  purge  itself 
of  "Whalley.  Onslow's  constituents  have  already 
settled  the  question  for  him.  But  there  are  scores 
of  others  who  took  a  conspicuous  part  in  this 
brazen  fraud,  including  Lord  Rivers,  Captain 
Brown,  Luie,  Bulpett,  Miss  Braine,  &c.,  who 
deserve  to  share  the  punishment  of  the  principal 
offender.  It  is  no  injustice  to  say  that  some  of  the 
above  witnesses  knew  that  the  Claimant  was  an 
arrant  impostor,  and  that  they  went  into  the 


28O  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

witness-box  for  the  deliberate  purpose  of  com- 
mitting perjury,  and  aiding  the  criminal  in  the 
accomplishment  of  his  diabolical  crime.  The 
counsel  for  the  defendant  knew  perfectly  well  from 
the  opening  to  the  ending  of  the  case  that  their 
client  was  a  fraud,  and  that  every  word  they 
uttered  in  vindication  of  his  innocence — to  use  a 
strong  word — was  simply  a  lie.  The  trial,  extend- 
ing over  188  days,  and  costing  altogether  not  less 
than  half  a  million  sterling  in  cash,  to  say  nothing 
of  time,  type,  and  patience,  should  not  have  lasted 
a  week.  The  positive  testimony  of  scores  of 
witnesses  that  he  was  not  Roger  Tichborne,  and 
that  he  was  Arthur  Orton  ;  that  Tichborne  was 
tattooed,  and  the  man  was  produced  in  court  who 
tattooed  him ;  the  elegant  letters  of  Tichborne, 
compared  with  the  vulgar  scrawl  of  Orton — after 
submitting  this  indubitable  and  unanswerable 
evidence  to  the  jury,  the  case  should  have  been 
stopped,  either  by  the  jury,  the  Court,  or  the 
counsel  for  the  defendant.  The  Claimant's  con- 
duct on  the  very  first  night  of  his  arrival  in  London 
thoroughly  identified  him  conclusively  as  Orton. 
With  a  dog's  instinct  he  rushed  back  to  the  place 
where  he  was  kennelled,  and  inquired  for  his  old 
associates.  Then  he  silenced,  by  bribery,  his 
brother  and  sisters,  inducing  the  former  to  change 
his  name  and  place  of  residence  ;  and  even  after 


A   RIGHTEOUS    VERDICT.  28 1 

gagging  them  with  Bank  of  England  notes,  did 
not  dare  to  bring  them  into  court.  Circumstan- 
tial evidence  like  this,  which  is  always  stronger 
than  direct  viva  wee  testimony,  is  proof  conclusive 
that  the  Claimant,  now  a  convict  in  Newgate,  is 
Arthur  Orton  and  nobody  else — a  fact  of  which 
we  have  no  more  doubt  than  of  our  own  existence. 
The  summing  up  of  the  Lord  Chief- Justice,  already 
issued  in  one  huge  volume,  is  a  monumental  work, 
without  an  equal  in  the  annals  of  jurisprudence. 
In  argument,  style,  and  temper,  it  will  become  a 
model  of  judicial  administration,  and  a  monument 
of  judicial  genius.  The  Jury,  who  have  themselves 
been  sorely  tried  in  this  case,  have  simply  done 
their  duty,  as  England  expects  every  man  to  do  his 
duty  under  all  circumstances.  But  they  deserve 
some  public  recognition  for  their  patience,  and  the 
firmness  they  have  shown  through  the  trial,  and 
by  the  prompt  and  explicit  rendition  of  their  ver- 
dict. And  not  the  least  do  we  honour  them  for 
giving  official  and  emphatic  expression  to  the 
universal  indignation  that  has  long  glowed  in  every 
manly  heart  in  Christendom  at  the  most  atrocious 
treatment  of  Lady  Radcliffe  by  this  infamous  per- 
jurer, who  did  his  utmost  to  blast  her  character 
and  ruin  her  happiness.  As  for  Kenealy's  "min- 
istering angel,"  Miss  Braiue,  who  sat  by  the  bed- 


282  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

side  and  held  the  hand  of  this  licentious  and 
disgusting  brute,  after  his  foul  charge  against  her 
former  pupil,  we  do  not  think  Mr  Hawkins  was 
any  too  harsh  in  the  epithets  he  applied  to  her. 
This  "  angel  " — an  inverted  one,  we  should  say — 
swore  that  the  Claimant  was  Sir  Roger  Tichborne, 
and  that  on  the  night  he  came  of  age  she  was 
governess  in  the  house ;  and,  fearing  the  young 
gentleman  was  getting  a  little  too  winey,  she  went 
up  to  his  room,  sent  for  him,  and  when  he  came 
to  the  door,  blew  out  the  candle  and  pushed  him  in  ! 
Rather  presuming  on  the  part  of  a  modest  gover- 
ness, unless  she  wished  to  take  advantage  of  Sir 
Roger's  tipsiness.  For  the  Tichborne  bondholders, 
and  the  sporting  crowd  who  have  been  betting, 
begging,  and  spouting  in  behalf  of  the  Claimant, 
caring  nothing  for  the  cause  of  truth  and  justice, 
but  only  hoping  to  win  their  "  odds,"  the  public 
will  have  no  sympathy.  Henceforth,  we  trust,  no 
witness  will  be  allowed  to  open  his  mouth  in  the 
witness-box  who  has  any  pecuniary  interest  in 
the  result  of  the  trial  in  progress.  The  number 
of  men,  and  women  too,  who  will  perjure  them- 
selves for  money,  as  shown  in  the  progress  of  this 
Ortou  fraud,  is  something  appalling.  As  for  the 
ragamuffin  rabble,  who  have  daily  rendezvoused  in 
Westminster  to  "cheer"  the  guilty  Claimant  and  his 


A   RIGHTEOUS    VERDICT.  283 

not  less  guilty  counsel,  the  verdict  and  sentence  will 
perhaps  convince  them  of  the  existence  of  the 
power  of  law  and  justice  in  England.  The  lesson, 
if  duly  digested,  will  prove  a  wholesome  one  to  all 
rascaldom. 


284  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 


THE  FUR   COUNTRY. 

ANOTHER  marvellous  and  exciting  mixture  of 
romance  and  reality,  from  the  prolific  and  power- 
ful pen  of  Jules  Verne,  entitled  "  The  Fur 
Country,"  has  compelled  us  to  read  it  from  be- 
ginning to  end  before  we  could  get  the  story  "  off 
the  mind."  It  is  an  elegantly  printed  volume  of 
300  pages,  profusely  and  beautifully  illustrated, 
and  containing  in  about  equal  proportions  scientific 
knowledge  and  poetic  imagination.  The  reader  is 
kept  on  the  constant  qui  vive  to  draw  the  line 
between  the  two.  The  scene  of  u  The  Fur 
Country  "  is  correctly  laid,  and  the  history  of  the 
various  "  Companies "  accurately  given.  The 
astronomy,  geography,  climate,  and  phenomena 
of  the  Arctic  regions,  including  both  land  and 
sea,  are  depicted  to  the  life,  and  in  more  vivid 
colours  than  we  have  ever  found  in  the  writings 
of  Arctic  navigators  and  discoverers.  The  Fauna 
and  the  Flora,  also,  of  hyperborean  latitudes  are 
treated  in  the  most  exhaustive  manner,  and  with 


THE  FUR  COUNTRY.  28$ 

technical  precision.  The  author  seems  to  be 
perfectly  familiar  with  every  star  that  shines, 
every  flower  that  blooms,  every  fish  that  swims, 
arid  every  bird  that  flies  on  the  North  American 
Continent  from  the  Equator  to  the  Pole,  and  at 
the  same  time  discusses  the  habits  of  all  the 
animals,  ruminants,  and  rodents  as  thoroughly  as 
if  he  had  lived  among  them  all  his  life.  A 
wonderful  savant  is  this  M.  Jules  Verne,  and  we 
have  to  thank  him  for  affording  us  more  instruc- 
tion and  "  entertainment "  than  we  have  found  in 
books  for  many  years.  Nothing,  since  the  adven- 
tures of  poor  "  Robinson  Crusoe,"  that  jewel  of 
the  nursery,  first  inflamed  our  imagination,  has 
more  absorbingly  "  kept  up  the  interest  of  the 
reader  " — that  is,  of  the  writer — than  these  novel 
and  fascinating  productions  of  M.  Verne,  com- 
pounded of  wonderful  fiction  and  still  more 
wonderful  facts.  We  can  see  the  little  fellow 
alluded  to  across  the  background  of  fifty  years, 
sitting  in  the  corner  of  a  huge  New  England  fire- 
place, in  the  warm  light  of  burning  pine-knots, 
and  devouring  for  the  first  time  the  story  of 
Alexander  Selkirk,  rendered  into  a  prose  poem  by 
the  immortal  pen  of  Defoe.  The  eager  interest 
felt  by  that  five-year-old  boy  in  Robinson's 
romantic  adventures  is  again  revived  by  the  still 
more  romantic  productions  of  this  grand  prose 


286  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

poet,  who  ties  up  the  richest  treasures  of  scientific 
knowledge  with  the  rainbow  ribbon  of  imagination. 
We  heartily  thank  him  for  the  transitory  oblivion 
of  cares  and  things  around  us  his  works  have 
afforded,  and  still  more  for  the  revival  of  our  child- 
hood's faith  in  the  "story"  told  us.  And  this, 
we  consider,  at  once,  to  be  an  author's  reward, 
and  an  author's  object — to  instruct  and  entertain 
his  reader.  To  know  that  he  has  accomplished 
this  end  is  a  far  higher  satisfaction  than  any  mere 
material  compensation.  "  I  sat  up  all  night  read- 
ing your  book,"  said  a  lady  once  to  an  author  who 
shall  be  nameless,  "  and  it  made  me  forget  every- 
thing unpleasant  and  remember  everything  agree- 
able in  my  whole  life."  The  author  of  that  book 
felt  that  his  work  had  not  been  entirely  useless. 
But  the  debt  of  gratitude  which  the  world  owes  to 
the  authors  of  good  books  is  too  large  a  subject  to 
be  touched  but  incidentally.  It  is  a  theme  worthy 
of  an  Academician's  pen.  To  return  to  our  charm- 
ing "  Fur  Country,"  of  which,  by  the  way,  we 
purposely  refrain  from  giving  any  description.  It 
is  cruel  to  forestall  curiosity  in  such  a  feast  of 
surprises.  The  human  characters  introduced  con- 
sist of  a  band  of  Fur-hunters,  with  the  accidental 
addition  of  an  English  lady  travelling  for  the 
sake  of  knowledge,  and  a  Greenwich  astronomer 
who  is  on  his  way  to  the  70th  parallel  of  latitude 


THE   FUR    COUNTRY. 

to  observe  ihe  eclipse  of  the  sun  in  1860.     What 
perilous  trials    befell  the   expedition  we    do    not 
propose  to   tell.     Take  the  story  either  as  all  fact, 
or  all  fiction,  the  reader,  who  in   childhood  was 
thrilled  by  the  adventures  of  the   Scotch  sailor  in 
the  Island  of  Juan  Fernandez,  will  be  spell-bound 
by    these   fearful   scenes   in  the   Arctic  Eegions. 
But  we  know   that    the    work    is    grounded    on 
reality.      The    "  Fur  Country  "   exists,  and  Fur- 
hunting  is  a  real  occupation,  a  great  item  of  trade. 
As  to  the   events  described,  the  author  is  always 
pushing  matters  to  the  verge  of  the  impossible. 
The  long  journey  made  on  an  island  of  ice  taxes 
the  belief  of  the  most  credulous ;  and  yet,  since 
the  book  was  written,  a  somewhat  similar  voyage 
has  been  made  by   a  portion   of  the  crew  of  a 
late  Arctic  Exploring   Expedition — the    crew  of 
the  ill-fated  Polaris,  who  floated  on  an  island  of 
ice  fifteen  hundred   miles.     And,  after  all,  truth 
is  stranger  than  fiction,  and   the  realities  of  the 
world,  both  material  and  spiritual,  far  transcend 
the  works  of  imagination.     Whether  it  is  wiser  to 
believe  everything  or  to  believe  nothing,  we  shall 
not  venture  to  decide.     The  common  experiences 
of  life,  the  sad  as  well  as  the  happy,  may  lead  to 
either  conclusion.      We  cannot    quit    the    "  Fur 
Country"  without  a  word  of  admiration  for  the 
heroine,  Paulina  Barnett,  a  noble  and  a  glorious 


288  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

woman.  Not  only  admirable,  but  adorable.  Is 
it  possible  that  such  a 

"  Perfect  woman,  nobly  planned, 
To  warn,  to  comfort,  and  command," 

exists  only  in  books  ?  No,  no,  no  !  Full  justice 
has  never  yet  been  done  by  pen  of  man  to  the 
"  perfect  woman,"  the  exceptional  woman,  who, 
rara  avis  in  terris,  is  still  to  be  found  in  all 
countries,  in  all  epochs,  and  under  all  conditions ; 
a  being  in  whom  the  "  elements  are  so  mixed  " 
that  beauty,  goodness,  sweetness,  fidelity,  truth, 
and  love  are  the  only  possible  results.  Such  is 
our  ideal-real  woman,  whom  Heaven's  own  angels 
cannot  excel  in  loveliness — >• 

"Woman,  whom  God  created  with  a  smile  of  grace, 
And  left  the  smile  that  made  her  on  her  face." 


TALES   OF   THE   STREETS.  289 


TALES   OF   THE   STREETS. 

WE  have  received  a  letter  from  Miss  Stride,  the 
good  Sister  of  Mercy  who  devotes  her  life  to  the 
restoration  of  fallen  angels,  in  which  she  says,  "  I 
read  the  paragraph  in  your  last  week's  paper, 
'  Tales  of  the  Streets,'  and  I  now  write  to  ask  if 
you  have  any  objection  to  my  quoting  it  for  a 
work  I  have  long  meditated  doing,  and  which  want 
of  funds  alone  has  prevented."  Certainly  not. 
Miss  Stride  continues  :  "It  is  my  intention  to 
build  a  large  block  of  buildings,  in  which  we  shall 
be  able  to  receive  poor  women  such  as  you  refer 
to.  I  propose  keeping  their  children,  and  educating 
the  girls  for  domestic  servants,  and  the  boys  for 
soldiers  or  sailors ;  the  mother  to  go  into  some 
situation  as  soon  as  her  health  permits,  and  help 
to  support  her  children.  I  do  not  propose  letting 
the  father  off  free  if  I  can  find  him.  I  have  laid 
down  my  plans,  but  to  carry  them  out  I  want 
£10,000.  This  sum  will  not  do  much  more  than 
buy  the  land  and  build  the  houses.  I  propose 


2QO  COSMOPOLITAN   MISCELLANIES. 

making  a  strong  appeal  to  the  people  of  England 
on  behalf  of  this  terribly  neglected  class  of  little 
children."  This  is  truly  a  most  excellent  work, 
and  should  engage  the  hearts  and  hands  of  all  who 
bear  the  name  of  Christians  and  claim  the  character 
of  philanthropists.  A  hundred  thousand  women, 
of  all  classes  and  conditions  of  society,  includ- 
ing wives,  mothers,  widows,  and  spinsters,  nightly 
tramp  the  streets  of  London  advertising  the  sale  of 
their  bodies  for  bread,  while  the  Priests  and  the 
Levites  go  on  begging  for  the  rich  Churches  at 
home  and  the  happy  heathen  abroad  !  These  poor, 
despised,  street-prostitutes  are  honest  women  in 
comparison  with  those  "  respectable  "  hypocrites, 
who  do  their  "  nest-hiding  "  in  secret  and  deny  it 
in  public.  Not  having  the  good  looks,  or  the  good 
clothes,  to  exhibit  themselves  in  the  pig-market  of 
Windmill  Street,  they  have  to  wander  and  beg  on 
the  cold  pavement.  What  the  curbstone  brokers 
are  to  the  regular  members  of  the  Stock  Exchange, 
these  poor  street-walkers  are  to  the  constant 
kabituds  of  the  Argyll  Rooms.  They  manage  these 
things  infinitely  better  in  Japan,  or  even  in  Paris 
or  Hamburg. 


LAW  V.    JUSTICE.  291 


LAW  v.    JUSTICE. 

ALL  civilised  nations,  and  England  not  among 
the  least,  are  afflicted  with  a  mania  for  legis- 
lation. We  live  in  a  perfect  maze  of  law.  There 
is  no  end  to  it,  and  it  by  no  means  tends  to 
further  the  ends  of  justice.  Why  not  codify  and 
condense  the  laws  of  nations  into  nutshells,  into 
the  Ten  Commandments — the  Code  of  Moses? 
There  are  but  a  few  primary  laws  essential  to  the 
welfare  of  society,  to  the  conservation  of  good 
government.  The  inalienable  right  to  life, 
liberty,  and  the  pursuit  of  happiness,  is  suffici- 
ently protected  by  the  great  original  laws — 
"  Thou  shalt  not  kill;  "  "  Thou  shalt  not  steal." 
These  fundamental  prohibitions  are  the  bulwark 
of  all  social  and  governmental  rights.  The  viola- 
tion of  these  sacred  laws  should  always  be  severely 
punished.  It  were  well  if  legislation  stopped 
here,  or  rather  restricted  all  codes  and  forms  of 
law-making  to  a  mere  amplification  and  applica- 


COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

tion  of  these  "  first  principles."     As  for  tax-laws, 
we  would  abolish  all  but  one — a  direct  pro  rata 
tax  on  property.     There  should  be  no  tariffs,  no 
douane,  no  octroi  impediments  to  trade  and  travel. 
But    this     irrepressible    mania    for    law-making 
knows  no  bounds.     Its  restrictions  are  everywhere  ; 
and  even  Britons,  with  all  their  boasted  liberty, 
are  abject  slaves  to  their  law-makers,  who  inter- 
fere with  all  their  domestic,  social,  and  religious 
concerns.     Take  the  Liquor  Laws,  Sunday  Laws, 
Church  Laws,  School  Laws,  Marriage  Laws,  &c., 
for  examples  of  this  legal  tyranny  which  justifies 
revolution.      There  is  no  personal  freedom  in  an 
English    Sunday.     A     stranger    must    walk    the 
streets  of  London  for  hours  before  he  can  purchase 
a  chop  or  a  glass  of  wine.     We  must  also  perforce 
contribute  to  the  support  of  a  Church  in  which  we 
do  not  believe,  and  to  the  education  of  other  people's 
children.      The  Marriage   Laws  are,  perhaps,  the 
most    despotic  and   oppressive  of  all.     Men  and 
women  who  have  made  the  fatal  mistake  of  select- 
ing each  other   as   companions  for  life,  must  be 
compelled    to    live    together   in   spite   of   mutual 
repulsion    and    hatred,  until  one   of  the  parties 
commits  a  crime  to  sever  the  knot !      Eepugnant 
unions   lead    only    to    endless    wars   and  infinite 
miseries.      Where    the    elective   affinities  do   not 


LAW   V.    JUSTICE.  293 

exist,  hell  does.  Marriage  is  a  civil  contract — 
which  concerns  only  the  parties  who  make  it;  and 
they  who  marry  by  mutual  consent  would  be 
much  more  likely  to  live  happily  together  to  the 
end  of  the  chapter,  if  they  were  free  to  dissolve  the 
partnership  by  mutual  consent.  Of  course,  the 
husband  should  be  compelled  to  support  and 
educate  his  children,  and  his  wife,  too,  so  long  as 
she  remained  true  to  him,  whether  under  the 
same  roof  or  not.  Nothing  but  the  wife's  in- 
fidelity should  absolve  her  husband  from  the 
moral  and  legal  obligation  to  take  care  of  her. 
The  same  law  and  justice  should  apply  to  what 
are  termed  illegitimate  relations.  According  to 
the  law  of  England,  the  father  of  an  illegitimate 
child  is  condemned  to  pay  the  poor  mother  two- 
and-sixpence  a  week  for  a  certain  limited  period. 
It  strikes  us  that  this  is  an  outrage  on  woman, 
and  an  insult  to  justice.  The  father,  in  such 
case,  should  not  only  be  compelled  to  support 
the  child  until  it  comes  of  age,  but  the  mother 
also,  until  she  find  some  other  protector.  But 
the  subject  opens  too  widely  for  full  discussion  in 
a  newspaper  article.  We  have  rising  before  us 
whole  catalogues  of  flagrant  cases  of  law  in  con- 
flict with  justice,  which  we  have  not  time  even  to 
mention  to-day.  These  hints,  however,  may  set 


294  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

some  strong  and  earnest  reformer  to  thinking  on 
the  urgent  necessity  of  codifying,  simplifying,  and 
clarifying  the  great  mass  of  laws  which  only  serve 
to  impede,  not  promote,  the  course  of  justice. 


A    CHALLENGE    TO   JACK  FROST.  295 


A  CHALLENGE  TO  JACK  FROST. 

ANOTHER  new  American  idea,  which  proposes  to 
prevent  canals  from  freezing.  Mr  Robert  A. 
Chesebrough,  a  scientific  New  Yorker,  has  pub- 
lished a  pamphlet  giving  full  details  of  his  plan 
for  keeping  the  canals  open  during  the  winter  by 
the  introduction  of  artificial  heat.  Startling  and 
impracticable  as  the  proposition  first  strikes  us, 
we  are  far  from  pronouncing  the  scheme  impos- 
sible, or  even  visionary ;  and  if  the  thing  can  be 
done,  the  importance  of  the  invention  can  hardly 
be  estimated  in  figures.  It  is  a  well-known  fact 
that  a  body  of  water  freezes  only  on  the  surface, 
and  that  it  begins  to  freeze  at  32°  Fahrenheit. 
Mr  Chesebrough  proposes,  by  the  insertion  of  a 
pipe  filled  with  hot  air  running  along  the  inside 
of  the  canal,  to  keep  the  water  on  the  surface  a 
degree  or  two  above  the  freezing-point.  If  this  can 
be  done,  the  problem  is  solved,  and  we  shall  hear 
of  no  more  commercial  constipations  by  the  closing 
of  canals  in  winter.  The  great  Erie  Canal,  for 


296  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

instance,  which  connects  the  Hudson  River  with 
Lake  Erie,  is  closed  for  several  months  every  year, 
and  not  unfrequently  with  millions  of  dollars' 
worth  of  produce  locked  up  in  transitu.  In  1872 
the  canal  transportation  exceeded  that  of  all  the 
railroads.  During  the  winter  season,  while  the 
canals  are  ice-bound,  the  railways  raise  their  freight 
rates  some  300  per  cent.  During  the  winter  of 
1871,  no  less  than  four  hundred  boats,  containing 
3,500,000  bushels  of  grain,  were  frozen  up 
in  the  Erie,  the  freight  on  which  amounted 
to  640,000  dollars.  "Were  it  not  for  the  ice  em- 
bargo there  would  be  a  very  great  extension  of 
the  canal  system  in  the  Northern  States.  The 
Erie  Canal  would  be  extended  to  the  town  of  Erie, 
where  it  would  connect  with  the  Pennsylvania 
Canal ;  thence  to  Cleveland,  where  it  would  con- 
nect with  the  Ohio  Canal ;  thence  to  Toledo,  where 
it  would  meet  the  Miami  and  Wabash  Canals ; 
and  thence .  across  the  peninsula  of  Michigan  to 
Chicago,  where  it  would  be  united  to  the  Missis- 
sippi River  by  the  Illinois  Canal.  No  one  can  for 
an  instant  doubt  the  vast  importance  of  Mr  Chese- 
brough's  scheme.  The  only  way  to  silence  scepti- 
cism is  to  make  an  application  of  the  theory  on 
a  small  scale.  If  it  prove  successful,  the  inven- 
tor will  have  no  trouble,  even  in  panic  times,  in 
raising  millions,  if  required,  to  keep  all  the  canals, 


A    CHALLENGE    TO   JACK  FROST. 

if  not  all  the  rivers,  of  the  North  open  all  the 
winter.  The  annual  cost,  as  applied  to  the  Erie, 
350  miles,  is  estimated  at  611,275  dollars — 
a  mere  bagatelle  in  comparison  to  the  loss  of 
freight  receipts  during  the  five  or  six  frost- 
bound  months  of  the  year. 


298  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 


RETURN  OF  THE   TIDAL    WA  VE. 

THE  eternal  and  inexorable  law  of  re-action  was 
never  more  forcibly  illustrated  than  by  the  recent 
elections  in  the  United  States.  One  of  the  great 
axioms  of  physical  philosophy  asserts  that  re-action 
is  equal  to  action ;  and  the  pendulum  never  fails 
to  swing  back  to  the  point  from  which  it  started. 
The  mental  or  moral  world  seems  to  be  governed 
by  the  same  universal  law.  The  flood  of  the  tide 
will  be  equal  to  the  ebb.  Fourteen  years  ago  the 
Black  Eepublican  party  made  a  clean  sweep  over 
all  the  Northern  States  of  the  American  Union, 
electing  Lincoln  President,  and  thereby  causing 
the  Secession  War.  It  is  true  that  Mr  Lincoln 
was  a  "  minority  President ;  "  but,  while  he  re- 
ceived less  votes  than  Douglas  and  Breckinridge, 
the  two  opposition  candidates,  he  had  enough  to 
make  him  legally  President,  and  the  people 
submitted  to  the  provision  of  the  Constitution 
"  in  such  case  made  and  provided."  The  South, 
acting  up  to  the  menaces  of  the  Presidential 


RETURN  OF  THE    TIDAL    WAVE.  299 

campaign  of  1860,  to  secede  in  the  event  of  the 
Black  Bepublican  party  coming  into  power,  con- 
firmed their  words  by  action,  the  month  after  Mr 
Lincoln's  inauguration,  by  an  attack  on  Fort 
Sumter,  in  the  harbour  of  Charleston, — South 
Carolina  being  the  first  of  the  "  wayward  sisters  " 
to  raise  the  flag  of  rebellion,  or  independence  as 
they  called  it  down  in  Dixey.  They  were  en- 
couraged to  take  this  step  by  a  solemn  "  Eesolu- 
tion  "  passed  by  the  Democratic  Convention  of  the 
State  of  New  York,  at  Albany,  in  February  1861, 
that  the  "  Federal  Government  had  no  authority 
to  coerce  the  action  of  a  sovereign  State."  But 
for  this  u  Resolution,"  which  induced  the  South 
to  believe  that  the  great  body  of  Northern 
Democrats  would  stand  by  them  in  the  event  of 
Secession,  there  would  have  been  no  War. 
Breckinridge,  their  recently- defeated  candidate 
for  the  Presidency,  had  grandly  declared  that 
"  the  power  to  coerce  resides  nowhere."  But  we 
are  writing  of  the  solid  facts  of  history,  and  not 
of  the  vain  prophecies  of  politicians.  In  looking 
back  upon  the  past,  through  the  vanishing  vista 
of  three  Administrations,  and  across  the  sad 
valley  of  half-a  million  of  graves,  without  passion 
or  prejudice,  or  the  least  bias  of  partisan  feeling, 
we  hold  the  Black  Eepublican  party  responsible 
for  the  causes  of  the  War  and  all  its  cost  in  blood 


3OO  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

and  treasure,  and  for  the  millstone  of  Debt  now 
weighing  upon  the  neck  of  the  nation.  We  only 
draw  the  indictment,  and  leave  History  to  argue 
the  case,  establish  the  fact,  and  render  the  inevit- 
able verdict.  And  now,  at  last,  comes  the  re- 
action. The  people  will  no  longer  be  led  into 
debt  and  destruction  by  a  party  of  doctrinaires 
and  political  speculators.  Abolitionism,  a  mere 
party  shibboleth,  a  hobby  to  ride  into  power,  is 
"played  out."  The  nigger  was  emancipated 
through  the  exigencies  of  war,  not  from  any 
conscientious  pressure  of  "  moral  principles," 
and  is  now  free  to  work,  or  beg,  or  starve.  He 
is  also  endowed  with  the  dangerous  weapon  of 
the  franchise,  with  which  to  fight  his  white 
superior.  In  the  meantime,  the  party  in  Power 
have  ridden  roughshod  over  the  subjugated 
South,  and  "run  the  machine  of  Government" 
in  the  interest  of  the  party,  and  of  the  particular 
pets  of  the  party.  We  need  not  stop  to  call  the 
long  roll  of  "  beggars  on  horseback "  who,  for 
the  last  ten  years,  have  been  revelling  in  wealth 
at  the  expense  of  the  taxpayers.  From  the 
White  House  down  to  the  smallest  Custom- 
House,  party  officials  have  been  "  on  the  make," 
to  use  the  slang .  phrase  for  official  robbery  and 
theft.  And  the  stupid,  patient  masses,  knowing 
all  this,  have  borne  it  until  now !  At  last  they 


RETURN   OF   THE    TIDAL    WAVE.  30 1 

have  waked  up  to  a  "  realising  sense  of  the 
situation,"  and  the  tidal  wave  of  indignant  re- 
action has  swept  mountains  high,  from  Maine 
to  Louisiana.  Is  it  not  grand,  this  ^spontaneous 
and  majestic  uprising  of  an  oppressed  people, 
determined — 

"  To  right  their  wrongs,  come  weal,  come  woe, 
To  perish,  or  o'ercome  the  foe  "  ? 

From  a  majority  of  one  hundred  against  them 
in  the  Federal  House  of  Representatives,  the 
Conservatives  have  an  elected  majority  of  over 
seventy.  The  dissolving  majority  of  seven  Re- 
publicans in  the  Senate  will  soon  be  reduced  to 
zero,  and  a  Conservative  victory  in  the  Presi- 
dential election  of  1876  is  a  foregone  conclusion. 
This  is  the  most  propitious  "  smile  from  the 
West "  that  has  beamed  on  us  since  the  dark 
'War  cloud  shut  from  us  the  light  of  heaven  and 
of  home.  The  revolution  is  a  most  beneficent 
one,  not  only  for  the  Union,  but  for  "  all  the 
rest  of  mankind."  The  triumphant  party,  which 
is  only  conservative  in  comparison  with  the 
Radicalism  and  nigger-equality  of  Black  Repub- 
licanism, is  sufficiently  progressive  and  pacific 
in  its  policy.  Ostensibly,  the  Democrats  are  a 
free-trade,  hard-currency,  specie-paying  party; 
but  the  Free  Trade  of  all  countries  is  a 


302  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

mere  matter  of  personal  and  sectional  interest. 
The    American    Democracy    has    its    traditions, 
Jeffersonian,     Jacksonian,     and     Bentonian,     to 
which  it  still  clings  with  commendable  loyalty. 
It  is  eminently   the  friend    of   agriculture,   and 
will  legislate  for  the  toiling  million  rather  than 
for    the   luxurious  millionaire.      It  prefers  hard 
dollars,   of  fixed  value,   to   filthy   rags   of  fluc- 
tuating value,   and   of  no  value.      It  is   not  an 
agrarian  party,   but    at    the   same    time   favours 
the  general  distribution  of  wealth,  and  not  the 
massing  of  it  into  mountains  for  the  benefit  of 
"  a  moneyed  aristocracy."     It  is  emphatically  the 
people's  party,  and  an  advocate  of  honest  men  and 
honest  measures.      It  is  not  a  pro-slavery  party. 
That  issue  is  dead  and  buried ;  but  it  insists  that 
the  white   race  is  superior  to  the  black.     It  is 
not  an  aggressive  party,  but  it  will  not  truckle 
to   the   dictates  of  Foreign  Powers,  and  it  will 
have  Spain  out  of  Cuba  within  thirty  days  from 
its  installation  at  Washington ;    not  to  enslave 
the   blacks,    but    to   free    them,    and    also    the 
struggling    whites     of    that     always     oppressed 
Island.      Now,    as    a  per   contra,   we   give   our 
readers  the  following  brief  sketch  of  the  Demo- 
cratic party,  which  appeared  in  the  Philadelphia 
Press — in  the  absence  of  the  editor-proprietor, 
be  it  understood — on  the  eve  of  the  late  elec- 


RETURN  OF   THE    TIDAL    WAVE.  303 

tion : — u  It  hung  defenceless  negroes  to  lamp- 
posts, and  burned  the  asylums  of  innocent  negro 
orphans  in  New  York  some  ten  years  ago,  and 
in  1871  the  negroes  of  this  city  purchased  their 
first  ballots  at  the  cost  of  the  blood  of  their 
ablest  and  best  leaders."  Such  electioneering 
stuff  as  this  had  much  to  do  with  the  re-actiou 
that  has  overwhelmed  the  country.  There  is 
an  eternal  sense  of  justice  deep  down  in  the 
heart  of  all  nations  and  all  epochs,  which 
neither  the  tyrants  of  the  sword,  the  sceptre,  nor 
the  pen  may  outrage  with  impunity.  And  so 
the  great  il  whirligig  of  Time  brings  all  things 
even." 


304  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 


GOOD    WISHES. 

THE  New  Year,  as  usual,  has  brought  the  Cos- 
mopolitan many  good  wishes  from  various  parts 
of  the  world ;  and  these  are  not  unfrequently 
accompanied  with  friendly  suggestions  in  regard 
to  the  business  management  of  the  paper.  Being 
unable  to  answer  all  these  kindly  -  meant  com- 
munications individually,  we  propose  to  give  a 
general  reply,  which,  we  trust,  will  be  generally 
satisfactory.  In  the  first  place,  let  us  frankly  say 
that  good  wishes  mean  nothing  unless  backed  up  by 
more  substantial  support  in  the  shape  of  a  cash 
remittance  —  that  is,  from  those  who  have  the 
means.  Not  that  good  wishes  and  friendly  sym- 
pathies are  to  be  despised  from  those  who  have 
nothing  else  to  give.  This  line  of  Burns  is  full 
of  truth : — 

"A  man  may  tak'  a  neebor's part, 
And  ha'e  nae  cash  to  spare  him." 

But  those  who  send  us  "  good  advice,"  and  no- 
thing else,  and  who  perhaps  spend  hundreds  a  year 


GOOD    WISHES.  305 

on  wine,  women,  and  cigars — two  of  these  three 
luxuries  one  can  live  without — but  cannot  afford 
to  pay  twenty  shillings  for  fifty-two  visits  from 
the  Cosmopolitan,  must  not  expect  to  be  entered 
in  our  books  under  the  category  of  "  friends  of 
the  paper."  We  recognise  only  two  classes  of 
people  in  the  world — subscribers  and  non-sub- 
scribers ;  as  poor  Ada  Menkin  recognised  only  two 
classes  of  men — those  who  had  married  her  and 
those  who  hadn't.  We  regret  to  say  that  the 
non-subscribing  portion  of  the  world  still  represents 
a  considerable  majority,  although  the  dispropor- 
tion is  weekly  diminishing.  In  regard  to  the 
suggestion  from  several  true  and  substantial 
friends  of  the  Cosmopolitan,  that  the  paper  should 
be  regularly  exposed  for  sale  at  all  the  railway 
stations  and  bookstalls  in  the  United  Kingdom, 
the  United  States,  and  in  all  the  kiosks  of  Paris, 
our  answer  is  brief:  We  tried  it  more  than  eight 
years  ago,  and  it  didn't  pay.  In  the  first  place, 
that  overgrown  newsboy,  W.  H.  Smith,  whose 
rare  thrift  in  his  business  enables  him  to  attach 
M.P.  to  his  name,  holds  a  monopoly  of  all  the 
English  railway  stations,  and  demands  a  price  for 
allowing  any  newspaper  to  be  sold  at  his  stalls — 
Tribute,  you  see,  sir,  and  no  pun  meant.  Besides, 
he  returns  and  exchanges  all  unsold  copies  for  new 

ones,  so  that  the  publisher  never  knows  what  is 

u 


306  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

coming  back  upon  him  in  the  shape  of  "  waste." 
This  is  a  kind  of  one-sided  trade  which  we  decline 
to  be  a  party  to.  The  publisher  takes  all  the  risk, 
and  the  vendor  all  the  profit.  No  one,  who  really 
wants  the  Cosmopolitan,  either  one  number  or 
fifty-two  numbers,  can  have  the  slightest  difficulty 
in  obtaining  it,  either  by  ordering  it  of  a  news- 
man, or  by  enclosing  stamps  or  cheque  direct  to 
the  office.  The  Cosmopolitan  is  not  a  cheap  paper, 
or  a  trashy  paper,  or  a  sensation  paper,  and,  con- 
sequently, it  is  not  what  is  called  a  "  popular " 
paper.  We  could  not  make  such  a  one  if  we  would, 
and  would  not  if  we  could.  The  ragamuffins  who 
run  after  Kenealy  to  cheer  him,  and  after  Hawkins 
to  hiss  him,  would  never  buy  the  Cosmopolitan  if 
it  was  for  sale  at  every  newspaper  stall  in  Eng- 
land: the  Police  News  or  Reynolds  suits  them 
infinitely  better,  especially  the  one  with  pictures, 
as  they  can  read  them.  Again,  the  Cosmopolitan 
has  no  political  or  sectarian  clientele,  and  it  never 
can  have.  It  is  the  organ  of  no  creed,  or  class, 
or  clique : — 

"  Pledged  to  no  Party's  arbitrary  sway, 
We  follow  Truth  where'er  she  leads  the  way." 

Men  who  look  into  these  columns  to  find  their 
own  pet  opinions,  traditions,  beliefs,  proverbs, 
and  catechisms  reflected,  will  always  be  dis- 


GOOD    WISHES.  307 

appointed.  We  write  to  please,  or  to  displease, 
no  one:  only  to  publish  what  we  sincerely  believe 
to  be  the  truth,  and  nothing  but  the  truth ;  but 
not  always  the  whole  truth.  Society  would  never 
tolerate  that.  One  more  question  in  relation  to 
"  business  management,"  touching  which  we  have 
a  whole  pigeon-hole  full  of  friendly  communica- 
tions. "  How  is  it,"  we  are  asked,  "  that  certain 
other  weekly  journals  beat  you  so  conspicuously 
in  the  advertising  department?"  We  reply  to 
this  in  one  word — "  Deadheads."  A  friend, 
in  order  to  test  this  question  a  few  days  ago, 
called  on  a  large  number  of  these  "  advertisers," 
and  in  seven  cases  out  of  twelve  was  informed 
that  their  advertisements  "  were  inserted  without 
orders,"  that  they  would  not  pay  for  them,  and 
that,  in  many  instances,  their  written  request 
to  have  the  advertisements  withdrawn  had  been 
utterly  disregarded.  This  fully  explains  the 
"  discrepancy "  which  has  been  so  frequently 
remarked  by  the  friends  of  the  Cosmopolitan. 
We  have  no  space  for  "  deadheads,"  or  for 
"dummies"  to  make  a  show,  and  serve  as 
"  decoy  ducks."  We  trust  these  explanations 
will  prove  satisfactory  in  answer  to  the  sugges- 
tions that  have  been  so  frequently  made  to  us 
during  the  last  eight  or  nine  years ;  and  we  will 


308  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

only  add,  that  if  any  truly  cosmopolitan-minded 
man  or  woman  wishes  to  become  a  regular 
reader  and  subscriber  of  the  Cosmopolitan,  there 
is  not  a  city  in  Christendom  where  it  cannot  be 
regularly  had,  at  one  pound  a  year,  one  penny 
postage  included. 


'  DULCE  DOMUM."  309 


"DULCE  DO  MUM." 

"  In  happy  homes  he  saw  the  light 
Of  household  fires  gleam  warm  and  bright." 

BUT  there  was  no  home  for  the  heaven-seeking 
youth  of  Longfellow,  neither  was  there  for  our 
poor  friend,  John  Howard  Payne,  who  sang  so 
sweetly  of  the  domestic  paradise  he  never  himself 
enjoyed.  And  perhaps  for  that  very  reason,  as  it 
is  natural  to  exaggerate  the  blessings  we  do  not 
possess.  How  sweet  the  thought  of  food  to  a  man 
starving  of  hunger  \  how  delightful  the  imaginary 
glow  of  fire  to  one  perishing  with  cold ;  how  charm- 
ing the  dream  of  home  to  the  homeless  !  The  ideal 
home  is  heaven  on  earth.  Alas !  that  so  many 
households  of  discord  should  more  nearly  represent 
the  other  place.  At  this  most  gracious  season  of 
the  year,  when  the  hearts  of  the  whole  Christian 
world  are  softening  and  expanding  under  the  holy 
influences  of  the  Ideal  One,  whom  a  large  portion 
of  mankind  has  clothed  with  all  divine  and  human 
attributes  it  is  possible  to  conceive,  the  household 
becomes  a  temple  consecrated  by  love,  and  sane- 


310  COSMOPOLITAN  MISCELLANIES. 

tified  by  devotion  to  the  loved.  Husbands  and 
wives,  fathers  and  mothers,  brothers  and  sisters, 
are  all  drawn  nearer  to  each  other  by  the  tender 
cords  of  family  ties  and  common  associations. 
They  feel  that  they  belong  to  each  other;  and  in 
every  happy  home  "  wherein  our  Saviour's  birth 
is  celebrated"  there  are  joys  with  which  the 
"  stranger  intermeddleth  not."  The  sacred  word 
home  belongs  alone  to  the  English  language,  while 
the  ideal  home  itself  is  almost  exclusively  confined 
to  the  English-speaking  race.  We  do  not  say 
that  family  affections  are  stronger  among,  the 
Anglo-Saxons  than  among  other  equally  cultivated 
nations;  nor  that  greater  fidelity  exists  among 
them  between  men  and  women  who  profess  to  be, 
and  who  ought  to  be,  sacredly  and  exclusively  de- 
voted to  each  other.  In  Germany  the  domestic 
relations  are  perhaps  as  sacred,  as  true,  and  as 
tender  as  those  of  any  other  people.  But,  'mid 
pleasures  and  palaces  though  we  may  roam,  be  it 
ever  so  humble,  there  is  no  place  like  an  English 
home  for  the  development  of  all  the  better  elements 
of  the  human  heart,  and  the  culmination  of  human 
happiness.  A  charm  from  the  skies,  as  our  sweet 
singer  says,  seems  to  hallow  us  there.  Without 
envy,  let  us  congratulate  all  the  dwellers  in  those 
sweet  homes  on  this  happy  Christmas  Eve.  Since 
the  angels  from  Heaven  sang  to  the  shepherds  of 


Bethlehem  the  glorious  song  of  "  Peace  on  earth," 
there  has  been  no  music  like  the  sweet  home  music, 
11  uttered  or  unexpressed,"  which  throbs  in  every 
heart  around  the  happy  fireside  to-night.  Let  all 
who  join  in  this  sacred  choir  of  domestic  love  and 
devotion  think  themselves  happy.  Let  them  also 
give  something  more  than  a  pitying  thought  to 
those  houseless  and  homeless  ones  who  have  not 
where  to  lay  their  heads,  but  who,  nevertheless, 
may  lay  their  poor  hearts  on  the  heart  of  Him  who 
was  as  poor  and  as  houseless  as  themselves.  Thank 
God  that  beautiful  Moon,  reflecting  the  light  of 
the  Divine  Sun,  still  shines  on  the  darkness  of 
our  human  night. 


THE  END. 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 

Los  Angeles 
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